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Old 01-24-2018, 08:53 AM
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Default Your Friend The Computer Only Wants What's Best For You - Let's Play Paranoia!

So, ever since I ran my silly board game list, Loki has been on my case to DM some Paranoia. Well, he finally succeeded in wearing me down, because here I am, ready to run a Paranoia one-shot! But whatís Paranoia, you ask?



Boy, you ask a lot of questions, donít you? Thatís the sort of thing that could get someone killed around here. Paranoia is a role-playing game set in the future dystopia of Alpha Complex, where what remains of humanity is run by a civil service AI gone mad and all of the players try to keep it happy while secretly pursuing their own, often contradictory goals. Like, this is a game where 5 people might be sent to change a light bulb and it would end with an explosion, a knife in the back, and a biological outbreak. It's fine, though, because all Troubleshooters are assigned a six-pack, a set of ready-made clones waiting to be activated upon their untimely demise!

Paranoia is pretty fast and loose, as far as role-playing games go, and I intend to run it faster and looser than most. One of the ďrulesĒ of Paranoia, such as they are, is that any player demonstrating knowledge of the rules is in violation of them! In the spirit of that, Iím not intending to read any either! Iíll be running this one-shot based purely upon my dimly remembered read of the Paranoia source book from over a decade ago. So if youíre familiar with the game and you see anything that looks wrong to you, well, the problem must be you, because Friend Computer is never wrong. ;-)

In the spirit of fast and loose, hereís pretty much all of the rules for this game that you need to know: If you want to do something, just say that you do it. If it's difficult, I might make you roll a die. If someone else decides that they don't want you to do it, you might both roll a die. Thatís about it. No character sheets, no skills, no action points or initiative order. Use your wits, not your dice.

Now, what you will want to know is the setting, and fortunately for you, itís a fun one! Here are some core concepts that youíll want to be aware of:
  • The Computer is perfect, and The Computer is your friend. The Computer has created a perfect society for you to live in, and, towards that end, the following things are forbidden:
    • Communism
    • Unregistered mutations
    • Unregistered equipment
    • Membership in a secret society
    • Knowledge of/interaction with The Outdoors
    • Accessing areas, equipment, or services above your security clearance level

    Obviously thatís not a full list, as the full list would be very long (and contradictory), but thatís the stuff most likely to be relevant to the players.

  • Speaking of the players, you are all Troubleshooters. Your job is to deal with threats to The Computer and carry out the tasks that it assigns to you. You are so named because you typically carry out these assignments by finding the trouble and then shooting it. You are all on a squad together, and each of you has a mandatory bonus duty that you are responsible for as part of that squad, and you are both happy and privileged to carry out that duty. You also are typically issued experimental equipment for your missions, as The Computer is always looking to develop new ways to improve the lives of its citizens, and Troubleshooters are eager to assist it in that endeavour.

  • Every happy citizen in Alpha Complex (and in Alpha Complex, all citizens are happy) has a security clearance, based on the colours of the visible spectrum. A citizenís security clearance is a reflection of the level of trust that The Computer has in that citizen. At the bottom of the ladder, you have the Infrareds, the backbone of society. They have no special clearances, but still enjoy full and happy lives as citizens of Alpha Complex, often with the mandatory assistance of frequently administered drugs. The first special clearance is Red. It is the minimum clearance required to be a Troubleshooter, and it is the clearance that all of the player characters for this mission will have. Clearances proceed upward from there in ROYGBIV order, with Ultraviolet being above even Violet. Ultraviolet citizens are the most important members of Alpha Complex, and are trusted with maintaining The Computer, and even altering its programming. (Part of the reason that The Computer has gone mad is that the Ultraviolets are constantly modifying its programming in an attempt to jockey for position and outmaneuver each other.)

    Citizens are designated based upon their security clearance. Designations take the form of [Name Ė Clearance Initial Ė Sector Name Ė Clone Number]. So, for example, Bert-O-LLI-1 would be an orange class citizen from sector LLI on his first clone. Youíll all be Red clearance, so youíll all be working around a clearance initial of R, and you are all actively encouraged to come up with stupid joke names for your characters based on that.

  • Speaking of clones, one concept that is important to communicate is that each new clone is cleared of the crimes of its predecessor. You have all of the previous cloneís memories right up until time of death, but have been granted a clean slate. Use it well! Note that this applies to citizens as well, meaning that citizens are expected not to hold grudges and to discard any animosities that involved a previous clone. Also, note that if you had any mutations, which of course you wouldnít as they are illegal, your new clone would be free of any such abnormalities (and possibly possessed of new ones, although of course that wouldnít happen).
Thatís about it for in-universe concepts, so Iíll close with some more details about actual play. All players will receive a PM from me detailing their character and what they are trying to accomplish; this is a game where youíre playing an assigned role, although you are of course free to play around within that role as you see fit. Youíll each have wildly disparate objectives. Some of you may be working at cross-purposes, while others might find some commonalities, but none of you will know what everyone else is trying to accomplish. The clones system is in place to encourage betrayal and back-stabbing without any hurt feelings. When one of you dies, a replacement pops right back in shortly after. Death is low consequence in this world, so donít worry about betraying your fellow players! Itís encouraged and expected, and all in good fun. That said, this isnít a combat game, so try to stay alive, and donít just come out guns blazing or killing willy-nilly. Just have fun playing the role youíve been assigned and pursuing your individual goals.

You are generally all encouraged to be as paranoid as possible. This is a world where the only way to survive and advance is to distrust everyone and everything, and itís all that youíve ever known. Suspect everyone else constantly, and make sure to draw anything illegal to the attention of Friend Computer. Itís your job to root out and expose commie mutant traitors so that The Computer can continue to make Alpha Complex a safe place for all citizens. Choose your words carefully!

Towards that end, you have ready access to confession booths at almost all times, so long as it makes sense (so not in a car, or in a stairwell). Think of them like the suicide booths in Futurama, only what waits for you inside is like the one-on-one camera segments of a reality TV show. Itís just you and Friend Computer, having a bit of 1-on-1 quality time where you tattle on your fellow Troubleshooters. As for how Iíll be implementing that, note that the majority of this game will just be all of you posting whenever you please, but these confession sessions will be special. When anyone steps into the booth, the game will pause, and Iíll want to have a 1-on-1 IM session with that player over their IM tool of choice. It will be an actual live 1-on-1 session with The Computer, and the chat log will be posted to the thread afterwards. (Yes, technically the other characters canít hear it, but itís more fun this way, and youíd all be able to hear it if we were sitting around a table together.)

And I think thatís just about everything! Note that itís possible to run this setting very different ways, ranging from ultra dark to slapstick, and I definitely trend towards the funnier end of the scale. Zany hijinks and bureaucratic humour are the order of the day here! My intention is for this to be a one-shot, but if thereís a lot of interest and this experiment goes well (Iíve never really done a play-by-forum RPG), I might be convinced to do more.

As for who is playing, Iíve unfortunately already locked a full set of players in, since Iíve been talking about running this for a while now and multiple folks have expressed interest! The current roster is:
  • Loki
  • Dracula
  • aturtledoesbite
  • Dr_Nerd
  • JohnnyUnusual
  • Falselogic
Anything more than 6 players would probably be too unwieldy, I'm afraid. Sorry! That said, I donít want this game to die on the vine because players arenít engaged, so if any of the above-listed players want out after reading all of that, feel free to let me know and Iíll free up an additional slot; no hard feelings! I just don't want to have to look for replacements after this thing has started because someone has ghosted.

I'm going to get started on writing up the role PMs now, so once all 6 of our players have checked in by posting in this thread with their character name, I'll send them and we'll get this ball rolling! (Note that the game won't begin until an opening briefing post from me.) Have fun, everyone! But not too much, because The Computer is watching.
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2018, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
The Computer is perfect, and The Computer is your friend. The Computer has created a perfect society for you to live in, and, towards that end, the following things are forbidden:
Communism
Unregistered mutations
Unregistered equipment
Membership in a secret society
Knowledge of/interaction with The Outdoors
Accessing areas, equipment, or services above your security clearance level
jbear your rules don't make any sense. What the heck is an "The Outdoors!?" You're talking nonsense you crazy kook.
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Old 01-24-2018, 09:11 AM
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Just re-reading the above, I think I could stand to make one thing a bit clearer: clearance levels are the class system in this society. Anyone with a better colour than you is your better. You're beneath their notice, and they could pretty easily have you killed if they were so inclined. It's forbidden for citizens to access stuff above their clearance level, and that's dictated by colour. So, as Reds, if someone tries to hand you a green briefcase, probably don't touch it. Colour is important around Alpha Complex. Keep it in mind!
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Old 01-24-2018, 10:28 AM
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This sounds really fun. I look forward to watching the hijinks. Make my lowly life as a infrared better, troubleshooters.
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Old 01-24-2018, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Taeryn View Post
This sounds really fun. I look forward to watching the hijinks. Make my lowly life as a infrared better, troubleshooters.
(They would probably do that by injecting you with drugs or just shooting you. They're not great people.)
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Old 01-24-2018, 11:17 AM
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I want to play! I have no idea what I'm doing but that sounds good given the rules!

EDIT: Whoops, finished reading the post. Never mind.
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Old 01-24-2018, 12:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Gerad View Post
I want to play! I have no idea what I'm doing but that sounds good given the rules!

EDIT: Whoops, finished reading the post. Never mind.
Gerad you can have my spot. I am overwhelmed and as much as I do want to play. I also dont want to have a breakdown.

Sorry Jbear
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Old 01-24-2018, 12:15 PM
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I've been brainstorming names all day and haven't found any I love (except Lisaneedsb-R-ACES which jbear vetoed) so I'm just going to Sou-R-LAD.
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Old 01-24-2018, 12:16 PM
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I need someone to convince me to not use Unprecedentedc-R-ISIS.

Please.
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Old 01-24-2018, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Falselogic View Post
Gerad you can have my spot. I am overwhelmed and as much as I do want to play. I also dont want to have a breakdown.

Sorry Jbear
No worries! Enjoy your whirlwind tour of the multiverse!

Gerad, you're in! Better starting thinking up a name!

ETA: FWIW, Turtle has suggested Dungeonc-R-AWL.
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Old 01-24-2018, 12:17 PM
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Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
I need someone to convince me to not use Unprecedentedc-R-ISIS.

Please.
It won't be me!
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  #12  
Old 01-24-2018, 12:18 PM
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Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
I need someone to convince me to not use Unprecedentedc-R-ISIS.

Please.
No, you made your bed and now you have to sleep in it please
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  #13  
Old 01-24-2018, 12:24 PM
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Originally Posted by JBear View Post
No worries! Enjoy your whirlwind tour of the multiverse!

Gerad, you're in! Better starting thinking up a name!

ETA: FWIW, Turtle has suggested Dungeonc-R-AWL.
Cool!

Nah I prefer Hamme-R-TIME.
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Old 01-24-2018, 02:25 PM
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I guess it's gonna have to be

Bone-R-MAN
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Old 01-24-2018, 03:53 PM
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I guess it's gonna have to be

Bone-R-MAN
*BEAT quickly scribbles down reminder for this to be his tattoo.*
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Old 01-24-2018, 05:02 PM
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Since Jbear is running this game, I'll be Sem-R-TEES.

EDIT: also in remembrance of our fallen comrade Falselogic.

Last edited by Doctor Nerd; 01-24-2018 at 05:34 PM.
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Old 01-24-2018, 05:11 PM
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I'll be Veryaf-R-AID.
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Old 01-24-2018, 06:14 PM
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You're darn right you will be!

And that's everyone, so your role PMs are on the way!

...is what I'd be saying if I hadn't left my planning document trapped on my work PC. >_<

Expect your role PMs tomorrow! (Probably about 12 hours from now plus change.)

BTW, I don't know if there's any interest in a champagne room for this, but if there is, let me know and I'll see about getting something set up!

ETA: Turtle, that also gives you (or anyone else, for that matter) about 12 hours to regret your life choices and change your name.
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Old 01-24-2018, 06:22 PM
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If the Computer tells me to drink champagne, I will drink champagne.
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Old 01-24-2018, 06:28 PM
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I'll need something to drink while reading this thread.
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  #21  
Old 01-24-2018, 08:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dracula View Post
I guess it's gonna have to be

Bone-R-MAN
Can I change my name?
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Old 01-25-2018, 05:47 AM
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Actually I needed to workshop that bad joke name more.

Change my name to Sma-R-TIES, please.
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:07 AM
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champagne for the infrareds! I need something to keep me in a docile stupor.
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:54 AM
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Getting the role PMs sent out now (two left), but here's a bit more suggested reading for everyone:

Bouncy Bubbly Beverage (often referred to as B3 or sometimes BBB or even Triple B) is a carbonated drink and is the mandatory beverage of choice in Alpha Complex.

Known to give an instant boost in energy, B3 is the preferred drink of Troubleshooters and other citizens who need a quick lift and havenít got time to consider the medical consequences. B3 vending machines are placed all throughout Alpha Complex for the convenience (and sometimes inconvenience) of all clones. Made from a mixture of caffeine, sugar, acid and amphetamines, the exact formula for B3 is a closely guarded secret known just to a handful of ULTRAVIOLETs. Some Troubleshooters have taken to adapting a can of B3 as a weapon as, when well shaken, it will explode violently when thrown at a commie mutant traitor, or shot. Of course, the troubleshooter may then be required to pay for a scrubot to clean up the mess, and to explain to Friend Computer why he wasted a good can of B3.

Rumors that B3 has various side-effects including uncontrollable twitching, the shakes and psychosis are, of course, treason. Comes in Original, New! Improved! and Recaffeinated Lite flavors.

ETA: Also, here's a convenient acronym that folks might want to know: CMT is short for Commie Mutant Traitor. Kind of a short-hand catch-all for someone disloyal that The Computer should dispose of.
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:02 AM
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too many acronyms to keep track of

*drinks CMT*
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:37 AM
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Default A Morning Briefing

It's another day in Alpha Complex.

You've all gathered for your morning briefing. Everyone is on time, because you quickly learn in Alpha Complex to not be late. You're all seated around a conference table, waiting for someone to enter and detail your mission. You're a new squad, fresh out of training, and none of you know each other. Most of you are pointedly not looking at each other.

A tired-looking Green enters the room, looking at a clipboard in puzzlement and pushing a cart laden with equipment. He sighs, shrugs, and then looks up at all of you. He then delivers in a deadpan monotone:

"Good morning, everyone. Welcome to another beautiful day in Alpha Complex. The Computer has an exciting task for you to perform today, but first I have some Mandatory Bonus Duties to hand out. I'm sure you're all excited to find out what they are."

First, he turns to Sou-R-LAD and tosses a pin onto the table in front of him.

"Congratulations, Team Leader. Your duties include offering guidance and sound advice to other members of this team and acting as tactical situation commander in combat."

Next, he turns to Sma-R-TIES.

"Congratulations, Loyalty Officer. You are charged with making sure that any treasonous thoughts are extinguished and looking for the early warning signs of CMT sympathy."

Then, he turns to Bone-R-MAN and places a comb and a bottle of disinfectant on the table in front of him.

"Congratulations, Hygiene Officer. You are to perform the indispensable task of monitoring the personal hygiene levels of your fellow Troubleshooters. Without proper hygiene, Troubleshooter Teams are liable to suffer from misfires, poor morale and halitosis. Computer statistics show that a large portion of Troubleshooter missions fail due to poor hygiene."

He then faces Hamme-R-TIME and pauses.

"Umm... Congratulations, Communications and Recording Officer. You are charged with chronicling the mission... This important assignment provides Our Mutual Friend with training material for other Troubleshooters. You are also the first point of contact for the team, and are responsible for official communications with The Computer and other bodies.

...

There doesn't seem to be any recording equipment with this gear. This is all according to The Computer's perfect order, so I guess you're not intended to have any. Clearly The Computer trusts you to execute your duties without it."

He coughs and then turns to address Unprecedentedc-R-ISIS, setting a heavy cooler labelled "BBB" down on the table.

"Congratulations, Happiness Enforcement Officer. You are responsible for making sure that everyone has fun during the mission. Please use your discretion, and employ these aids as necessary."

Finally, her turns to Veryaf-R-AID and places a backpack on the table. He open it, peers inside, and grimaces.

"...Congratulations, Head Chef. You are responsible for keeping the team well fed. Troubleshooters should ingest regular nutritional supplements at the appointed nutritional breaks, and it's your job to see that they do so. This backpack appears to be empty, so apparently Friend Computer has seen fit to issue you the exciting additional opportunity to obtain those nutritional supplements yourself."

He then walk to the front of the room and address everyone.

"And now it's time to detail your task for today. The Computer has received distressing word of a dissatisfied citizen threatening to jump off the roof of building A24. This citizen has in their possession some very valuable equipment that Friend Computer would like returned to its care. Additionally, A24 overlooks a crowded public square, so redistribution of this citizen's limbs is an outcome to be avoided, as it would be potentially demotivating to the citizenry. Your task is to please explain to the jumper that he should not jump, take him into safe custody and recover the equipment intact, then return here with both. You are also charged with having this citizen properly identify himself for registration, as there appears to be no trace of his identity in The Computer's records. Time is of the essence, so please proceed to R&D without delay to obtain your experimental equipment for this mission."

He then places a small red chit on the table in front of each of you.

"These are your procurement tokens. You are to take the nearest shuttle to sector CEN. Once you arrive, head directly to R&D and exchange these tokens for your assigned equipment. You are of course encouraged to make use of the equipment during the mission to help collect valuable test data. Building A24 is conveniently also located within sector CEN, so once your business at R&D is concluded, you are to proceed directly to the mission site on foot and execute your assigned task."

He then smiles with a wide smile that never reaches his eyes, and asks if there are any questions.
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:50 AM
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I look forward to assisting Friend Computer with this task!

...

Uh, I guess that wasn't a question.
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Old 01-25-2018, 08:52 AM
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(PLEASE NOTE that champagne room invites have been sent. If you're not playing and would like access but don't have it, please feel free to send me a PM!)

ETA: Just to be clear, since someone asked me the question: the champagne room is a place for those not playing to read everyone's hidden roles and laugh at all of the players cavorting for their amusement and discuss the goings-on of the game while sipping delicious bubbly.
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Old 01-25-2018, 09:03 AM
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(Oh, and this probably goes without saying, but all of the players should have received a role PM from me by now. Please read it before you start, and if you don't have it, let me know ASAP!)
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Old 01-25-2018, 09:06 AM
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I don't have any questions, it's all crystal clear and sensible. But as team leader I should be in charge of these tokens so they don't get misplaced.

*starts collecting the chits*
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