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Old 11-17-2017, 09:49 AM
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Default Digital Down-Low for 11/17/2017: Battle against Dragon-Types

Let's all see what Crazy Uncle Octo has cooked up for us this week!

Starting this week with School Girl/Zombie Hunter which is one of those games that explains absolutely everything I'd need to cover with the game right there in the title. Which is a great time-saver for me. Not surprisingly, it's a spin-off of the Onechanbara series of bikini-clad zombie-shanking games.

It also brags about its "fashionable undergarments" in a video game that stars what are explicitly teenagers so, thanks, video games, for being as classy as you ever are.


Also up (and one of the more prominent releases of the week) is Star Wars: Battlefront II which I understand addresses the main complaint everyone had with the last game by offering a single-player story that crosses all three eras of movies. And it also introduces a hithertoo unseen level of disdain for the coo-coo-crazy level of microtransactions and lootbox-based gameplay that infests the multiplayer.

From my point of view, it's the lootboxes that are evil.


The Sims 4 is... well...

It's The Sims 4. That's out now. I literally can not tell you anything else about this that you either don't already know just from the knowledge that The Sims 4 is extant as a console video game.


Next is de Blob, remember de Blob? I almost do! It was... kind of Katamari-y except a platformer and you didn't stick things to you so much as you grew bigger and the levels grew more colorful as you progressed?

I am likely misremembering but Octo-blah-bloo-blah-bloo-bla


Next up is Demon Gaze II, a game for all the people who liked Etrian Odyssey and wished it was on a console on a Monkeys Paw, so it looked far worse, it was so much more anime and also so much hornier.

Once again, thanks for being classy, video games.


And hey, another re-release of a previous-gen game is up; LA Noire (also on Switch)! You know, the game that married awful Third Person Shooter Gameplay with the least-canny valley visuals in cutscenes as you tried and repeatedly failed to solve murders by noticing the unnatural ways people reacted to your questioning.

Which was All The Ways they reacted to your questions because everyone in this game looked like a cross between Bicentennial Man and Polar Express-era Tom Hanks.


Okay, moving on to the eShop where it's mostly a showcase of Switch releases! Starting with one that I can't really help but feel a little bad for; The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Not that Skyrim is a bad game, the number of hours I've sunk into it show that I'm a fan, but, well, it's been ported to many formats over the years and this is coming out eight months after Breath of the Wild showed how much more fun the same basic gameplay can be if you whittled out all the cruft.

I guess if you wish Breath of the Wild had longer mini-dungeons and more racist vikings, and you could play as a super-buff kittycat (I named mine "Abnermal") then here you go.


Also up is Gear.Club Unlimited which I initially mistook for BeamNG.drive, and I was going to comment about how the bloom has come off that particular rose, but then I realized that these are two different video games.

But both are about Vrooming down the blacktop on wheels made of freedom!



Next is RIVE, a twin-sticky sidescroller where you're a trucker with a space tank looking to Explode Every Thing. Kind of looks like Blaster Master and Contra smooshed together into one game.

Like... errr...

Blontra Montra?

...I hate that name, it sounds awful, and am not surprised they gave it the less descriptive title of "Rive".



Lumo is also out! And is another game that's on its fourth or fifth port by now, and it's a surprisingly chill and accommodating example of a genre that usually thrives on its tense precise platforming and lack of mercy towards failures; the isometric platformer. Specifically Solstice, in this case. But now you have infinite lives and dying only sends you back a short ways and there's an easy mode that makes things breezier still.

I mean, you're still going to die a million times, but you won't be upset by it this time.



Speaking of throwbacks to 80s PC platformers, the Switch also got VVVVVV! To which I say "AHAHAHAHA! YAY! I love VVVVVV". This is, of course, not a shocking proclamation.

VVVVVV is Love, and it is Loved.

It is also a game full of death and pain and anguish. But nobody ever seems to mind that part because the soundtrack is so peppy and even reading the names of each screen makes me smile.



Next up is Battle Chef Brigade, a new game from Adult Swim Games, that looks to merge real time monster-fighting RPG combat for gathering goblin-shanks with a match-3 gem-swapping gameplay to represent turning those goblin shanks into a delicious meal.

Precisely the exact same way Grandma used to cook.



Dead Synchronicity: Tomorrow Comes Today sounds familiar, and with good reason, as it came out on PS4 over a year ago! Here's what I said about it then;

Quote:
Dead Synchronicity: Tomorrow Comes Today is a two part point-and-click-em-up about both trying to figure out why a whole ridiculous string of disasters that wound up breaking the world happened, and also why people are suddenly melting. Ryan North predicted the first one readily enough!

Xenoraid is a pew-pew style bullet-hell-em-up with procedurally generated levels! You know what that means!

It means that someone somewhere is just itching to put the words "rogue" and "like" together in the description!

Just simply itching.


The last Switch release I'm bothering with this week is also the one that made me shout out "AHAHAHAHA! WHAT?!?!?", as it is another Hamster-derived ACA arcade port. And that's not shocking. Nor is the fact that this is a fighting game, as nearly all of them are.

But no, what is noteworthy is that we've got Karnovs Revenge, baby!

KARNOV! HAS! REVENGE!

It's the sequel to Fighters History which is infamous for borrowing a bit too liberally from Street Fighter 2 in an age when everyone borrowed from Street Fighter 2 at least a little. For the sequel, the good people at Data East decided they needed to work a bit harder to put a little razzle-dazzle in the game so they made Karnov, the fire-breathing Russian Strongman who is also canonically YHVH, the headliner.

Amazeballz.


On the 3DS, we have another Big Name Release this week with Pokemon Ultra Sun/Moon, a direct sequel (rather than third-version) to last years Regular Sun/Moon. I've purposely avoided learning anything about this game because I wanted to be surprised when I saw it under the tree on Christmas Morning, but it's also a Pokemon game so I feel pretty confidant I can make numerous accurate predictions regarding it.

Then again, Sun and Moon kind of messed the formula for the games all up so maybe I don't know nothin afterall.


Also up (on Tuesday) is River City: Rival Showdown and I am betwixt and between regarding it because while the River City franchise has produced some truly excellent examples of the Beat-em-up genre, it's also made quite a few that are a great deal less than "truly excellent".

But this one also boasts including "a bonus Double Dragon game" which is more than slightly tempting on its own. And the trailer hits all the targets on my Emotional Core.

So I don't know what to do with myself now.


And finally the WiiU also got its dang ol' self some more TG-16 games, beginning with Salamander which is almost Life Force, except the "giant space monsters digestive tract" aesthetic is far less prominent and the Gradius-inspired upgrade system is nowhere to be seen. On the other hand, Road British is present, and I don't think anyone can dispute that as being the best name for a spaceship.

There's also Break In, which is a game about pool (a the snooker kind) and has nothing to do with any sort of boogaloos, regardless of power source.



Now go forth, secure in the knowledge of the games my brisk glancing at release-lists have offered you.
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Old 11-17-2017, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Next up is Demon Gaze II, a game for all the people who liked Etrian Odyssey and wished it was on a console on a Monkeys Paw, so it looked far worse, it was so much more anime and also so much hornier.
So, this is made by the Stranger of Sword City guys, which was one of my favourite games of this year, and, judging by a Japanese gameplay video that I just watched, it's pretty much the same game mechanically, and I'm a bit bummed that I don't own either of the platforms it's coming out on. The anime horny is regrettable, but I'm willing to put up with a lot for a good dungeon crawler.

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Next up is Battle Chef Brigade, a new game from Adult Swim Games, that looks to merge real time monster-fighting RPG combat for gathering goblin-shanks with a match-3 gem-swapping gameplay to represent turning those goblin shanks into a delicious meal.
I haven't heard of this one before, but it looks super rad.

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Old 11-17-2017, 10:45 AM
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You know who else appears in Karnov's Revenge?

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Old 11-17-2017, 11:24 AM
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Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon aren't direct sequels; they're third (and fourth?) versions. I can perfectly understand how someone might get that wrong given how cagey Nintendo's been about them, but there we are.
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Old 11-17-2017, 11:26 AM
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Wait, really?

I thought it was a Black/White 2 situation.

I might need to revise my crimmus list...
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Old 11-17-2017, 01:17 PM
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Now I know Octo does not do VR, but still, it should be noted that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim VR also came out this week alongside the portable one. Has a PSVR bundle too, which will be on sale this Black Friday.

Get up close and personal with the racist vikings and longer mini-dungeons! Wave your sword around like a feather duster! Be brutally slaughtered because you accidentally grazed someone with your motion-controlled shield and it registered as a shield bash! Experience all your favorite bugs all up in your face! Play as a super-buff kittycat (I named mine "Ra'sahl-cro")* but never actually see him beyond the character creation screen save for a pair of disembodied hands because VR and third person view do not mix!

Disclaimer: In Skyrim Special Edition; I do not own Skyrim VR or a PlayStation VR setup.
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Old 11-17-2017, 03:58 PM
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Wait, really?

I thought it was a Black/White 2 situation.

I might need to revise my crimmus list...
They're more changed than Emerald and Platinum were, but they're not sequels. Got the same skeleton in 'em.
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Old 11-17-2017, 04:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Bongo Bill View Post
Got the same skeleton in 'em.
?
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Old 11-17-2017, 05:41 PM
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Looks like Nintendo is taking after Octo...

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Old 11-17-2017, 05:55 PM
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Man, and they probably do way more research than me.
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Old 11-17-2017, 06:05 PM
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Yeah, but they probably also have fewer hilarious Simpsons images. Also, your list was longer, so apparently that trailer wasn't comprehensive.
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Old 11-17-2017, 06:42 PM
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Battlefront 2 has so many lootboxes that Disney said "dat's too many lootboxes"
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Old 11-18-2017, 06:12 AM
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I thought Karnov was only a servant of God, not God himself?



Though in the best ending he does become Kratos, apparently.

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Old 11-18-2017, 11:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fredde View Post
I thought Karnov was only a servant of God, not God himself?



Though in the best ending he does become Kratos, apparently.

We need fan art where Kratos fights Karnov, stat!
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Old 11-18-2017, 11:59 AM
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Rocket League dropped on Switch as well.
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Old 11-22-2017, 06:05 PM
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Just chiming in to say Battle Chef Brigade is dope y'all.
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