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Old 03-09-2018, 03:28 PM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Mystery Contraption
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
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I, personally, am reading this.

The next issue of Jimmy Olsen: The Big Boom is a ticking-clock nail-biter, as every narration box also includes a countdown to a nuclear blast that will annihilate Metropolis. And, because Jack Kirby does as Jack Kirby is, this isn't just a number getting smaller, it's yelling out for all to hear that "IT IS 15 MINUTES UNTIL HOLOCAUST!" Or "7 MINUTES UNTIL DOOMSDAY" or, my all-time favorite line of dialogue from a comic book; "FIVE MINUTES UNTIL BLOW-UP" (and the blow-up must happen).

Anyway, picking up immediately after the last issue, Superman and the Newsies are stuck in an unbreakable radioactive egg created by the Four Armed Terror; Homo Usurpus, which is now making a beeline to a nearby nuclear reactor, which will then explode and wipe out Metropolis. And presumably a lot of other stuff. So that's a pretty big deal.

While the rest of the PROJECTs private army (as well as the Newsboy Legions dads, and Guardian) head off to try to intercept the Usurpus, hoping that a hundred Jimmy Olsens can prevail where Superman failed. Superman, meanwhile, came to the conclusion that while he can't punch his way out of the egg, he can probably rub his hands together so fast that the friction burns he generates can melt through the side!

And, Supes, dude... you... have much less silly looking ways to do that.

But the silly way works and, without so much as a by-your-leave, he leaves the kids behind to fly off and try to stop the Usurpus from reaching the plant. The kids are kind of put out by being left out of this but, well, again, this is a race to save the entire city from a catastrophe against an apparently unbeatable menace, so Superman can be excused for hurting some feelings.

Back at the Evil Factory, not willing to jeopardize their first ever chance to actually succeed at something, Mokkari and Simyan decide to send the entire brood of Homo Usurpus to the atomic reactor hoping that at least ONE of them will be able to destroy it despite interference from two superheroes and hundreds of Jimmys Olsen.

And, at the Daily Planet offices, Morgan Edge (remember him?) receives word from one of Darkseids lesser underlings (not Darkseid. Darkseid does not give a damn about Morgan) that Metropolis is about to be annihilated by a nuclear explosion, so he opts to leave town in his private helicopter, and politely tells everyone at the office he'll see them tomorrow.

Back at the exciting all-out battle between PROJECT and a dozen 4-armed terrors, enough damage has been done to the reactor that it's going to explode, and soon, and the Usurpus army shows no signs of even being exhausted, so Superman rips the entire reactor out of the ground like a weed, races off to the very deepest tunnel complex in PROJECT (leading straight down into the Earths Core, for some reason) and drops it; the Usurpus all chasing after it in a blind pursuit of their food. ANd the resulting nuclear explosion is... probably still really, really problematic for the environment, but that's probably about the best anyone could hope for, considering. Also, all the Usurpus died since, while they eat radiation, they probably don't handle multi-megaton explosions very well.

Oh, and the Newsboy Legion are all still sulking because Superman didn't bring them along.

Teenagers, amirite?
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