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-   -   Coming Attractions: The Movie Trailer Thread (http://www.talking-time.net/showthread.php?t=12888)

Alixsar 04-02-2012 09:25 PM

Coming Attractions: The Movie Trailer Thread
 
So every so often a new movie trailer comes out and I want to talk about it. I usually feel weird putting it in the Review thread since it's not a review, and I feel like it gets lost in the shuffle in the Not Worth It's Own Thread since that's not just about movies.

So here's this. Whenever a movie trailer comes out we're pumped or antipumped about it, let's put it here and talk about it.

First up: Len Wiseman's Mass Effect 2 Total Recall.

I knew this movie was going to be worse than the original but GOD DAMN IT LEN WISEMAN. The slow mo action shots that are peppered throughout the trailer look absolutely awful. Kate Beckinsale is hot but she's only in this movie since she's banging Len Wiseman and she really realllly can't act or a be convincing bad ass so all of her dialogue comes across as absolutely awful. As my favorite movie blog I Watch Stuff said, I guess John Cho is Robert Patrick in Double Dragon now. The Mass Effect 2 robots look really similar to the ones in the game though, so that's good use of the licWAIT. And the CG when he's falling into the roof looks like something from a late night commercial.

Plus, so...okay, he gets the treatment done, and then there's that ridiculous video game cutscene where he shoots all the dudes and then he freaks out? Is going to Rekall like turning into a werewolf or The Hulk now or something? "OH GOD I'M TURNING INTO A BAD ASS AGINAAIANIANINNNNN" What the fuck is this? Arnold didn'...and! ARAHJGHAJKLDSNHAJKL FUCKKK FUCK

So yeah. Not excited for this one but I'll probably go see it anyway because I'm a fucking idiot and then I'll shoot myself to wash away the bad memories and also my life. Thoughts?

Dizzy 04-02-2012 09:29 PM

I only care about seeing Bryan Cranston play a baddie. Again.

Alixsar 04-02-2012 09:34 PM

That is the one redeeming thing, yeah. But I don't know if his ridiculous haircut can save this.

Dizzy 04-02-2012 09:38 PM

Yeah, the setting seems bland too. Aren't they supposed to travel to Mars or are they already there? Seems like they set it in a futuristic Bangkok. I wonder if all the scenes take place in the same neighborhood.

Torzelbaum 04-02-2012 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dizzy (Post 1280704)
Yeah, the setting seems bland too. Aren't they supposed to travel to Mars or are they already there? Seems like they set it in a futuristic Bangkok. I wonder if all the scenes take place in the same neighborhood.

I was already bored with that trailer after only watching 25-30 seconds of it. I stopped watching it after that.

Damn it Hollywood! Stop pulling this shit! :mad:

O..O~ 04-02-2012 11:26 PM

Minority I' rocall

Savathun 04-02-2012 11:30 PM

I still don't understand why this was remade. I didn't' think Total Recall was the biggest deal in the world or had a huge cult following to begin with.

If they were going to remake it, I wish they'd done it by adapting the weird, surreal "story" of the NES game.

We'd have a slow mo scene of Quaid jumping over a hobo's flying hat.

Torzelbaum 04-02-2012 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggie (Post 1280782)
I still don't understand why this was remade. I didn't' think Total Recall was the biggest deal in the world or had a huge cult following to begin with.

If they were going to remake it, I wish they'd done it by adapting the weird, surreal "story" of the NES game.

We'd have a slow mo scene of Quaid jumping over a hobo's flying hat.

And don't forget the epic battle with the "little bearded midget dwarf in a pink jumpsuit".

Googleshng 04-03-2012 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggie (Post 1280782)
I still don't understand why this was remade. I didn't' think Total Recall was the biggest deal in the world or had a huge cult following to begin with.

It exists, and people at least vaguely recall having heard the name.

That's how low the bar is on this stuff these days.

The original was one of the more insultingly cheesy PKD adaptations out there though, so I'm actually pretty OK with this getting made.

Octopus Prime 04-03-2012 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Googleshng (Post 1280820)
It exists, and people at least totally recall having heard the name.

It was also popular enough to get a short-lived tv series to serve as a follow-up for some reason.

David Cartoon 04-03-2012 08:11 AM

I did not care about the movie before I saw the trailer - but I gotta say, that looks kinda cool. As said, maybe it'll be more faithful to the book (which I haven't read, but maybe I will now).

Büge 04-03-2012 08:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Googleshng (Post 1280820)
The original was one of the more insultingly cheesy PKD adaptations out there though, so I'm actually pretty OK with this getting made.

But that's what made it so charming. There was a hooker with three boobs! An exploding old lady head! A weird parasitic twin mutant! Plus it probably had the greatest Arnoldgrunt-to-dialogue ratios of any film!

TheSL 04-03-2012 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dizzy (Post 1280704)
Yeah, the setting seems bland too. Aren't they supposed to travel to Mars or are they already there? Seems like they set it in a futuristic Bangkok. I wonder if all the scenes take place in the same neighborhood.

Didn't you hear? They replaced Mars with China because lol topical.

Googleshng 04-03-2012 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime (Post 1280873)
It was also popular enough to get a short-lived tv series to serve as a follow-up for some reason.

Wait, really? I may need to hunt that down. Especially considering how unambiguous the movie was that nothing at all actually went wrong anywhere and this was all exactly what he ordered, to the letter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Büge (Post 1280918)
But that's what made it so charming. There was a hooker with three boobs! An exploding old lady head! A weird parasitic twin mutant! Plus it probably had the greatest Arnoldgrunt-to-dialogue ratios of any film!

Oh, I don't expect to actually LIKE the remake more. Odds are it will be completely dull and forgettable, while the original will live forever on in song if only because of the hilariously bad call of casting Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Philip K. Dick protagonist. My favorite part though is always going to be that totally convincing city street set that absolutely wasn't thrown together haphazardly in the time it took to secure a big Pepsi sign.

Zef 04-03-2012 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Googleshng (Post 1281115)
My favorite part though is always going to be that totally convincing city street set that absolutely wasn't thrown together haphazardly in the time it took to secure a big Pepsi sign.

My favorite part is how most of it (if not the whole thing) was filmed at the famous Estudio Churubusco soundstages in Mexico City, and every scene on Earth was actually a real-life Mexico City location that happened to look futuristic to the producers.

(The subway station? Pino Suárez Station, Downtown. The highway tunnels? Viaducto Avenue. The plaza where he grabs that cab? The Insurgentes Roundabout. Those are all real stores, too. They didn't even bother putting up fake signs or billboards :D Peñafiel is my favorite drink from home!)

Yeah, the sets may be cheesy, and the plot may be ludicrous, but seeing all those real-life locations on screen, unchanged, makes it look like a Mexican student film that somehow got a hold of American action stars.

I haven't seen the trailer for this new remake yet, but it loses point automatically for not being filmed in my home town :p

Alixsar 04-03-2012 02:47 PM

New trailer for Woody Allen's latest, Random Tangentially Related Woody Allen Movie Scenes in Rome. I mean, is there a plot for this movie? Doesn't seem like it from the trailer. Also Alec Baldwin is a weird choice for Woody Allen's kind of humor but whatever, still looks decent. I'm just surprised he's still putting out work on such a regular basis.

Since it's Alec Baldwin Day: there's a new trailer for Tom Cruise's Footlooseglee which I hadn't paid attention to before today and THOUGHT was a comedy, but apparently it's meant to be serious? Who the hell comes up with this stuff?

Also, Google, I will fight you. Total Recall is awesome.

David Cartoon 04-03-2012 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Googleshng (Post 1281115)
while the original will live forever on in song

I looooooooooove that song.

sraymonds 04-03-2012 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alixsar (Post 1281169)
Since it's Alec Baldwin Day: there's a new trailer for Tom Cruise's Footlooseglee which I hadn't paid attention to before today and THOUGHT was a comedy, but apparently it's meant to be serious? Who the hell comes up with stuff?

it's a comedy

Alixsar 04-04-2012 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sraymonds (Post 1281340)
it's a comedy

Are you sure? That trailer wasn't funny at all and was just kind of embarrassing to watch. I'm not convinced.

Edit: Hmm, Wikipedia says it's based on a Broadway musical, which would make sense since I hate Broadway/Musicals more than most of the other things I hate.

sraymonds 04-04-2012 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alixsar (Post 1281535)
Are you sure? That trailer wasn't funny at all and was just kind of embarrassing to watch. I'm not convinced.

Edit: Hmm, Wikipedia says it's based on a Broadway musical, which would make sense since I hate Broadway/Musicals more than most of the other things I hate.

At this point you should just make a list of the things you like since it'll be much shorter than a list of things you hate.

It's about saving a nightclub with the power of rock. I don't think you get much more comedy than that.

Alixsar 04-04-2012 01:05 PM

So there's some 3D Katy Perry concert movie/documentary thing who cares. However, at 24-ish seconds in, there is an image of Katy Perry in a...outfit thing...with whipped cream cans taped onto her nipples that is shooting out streams of whipped cream at the camera (and thus into the audience since it's 3D).

Finally, 3D has proven to not be a pointless gimmick.

Andrew 04-04-2012 01:35 PM

I for one find the Rock of Ages trailer hilarious.

I hate Tom Cruise, but I can enjoy him in roles where a) he's mute, b) he's barely in it, and/or c) the role is hilariously ironic.

i.e. Legend (of Zelda) fits a, Magnolia fits both b and c (a self-centered, pathological dick who is deeply paranoid, wants to scream in your face about how hetero he is, then drops his drawers and jumps around like an infant in front of an interviewer all before hooking up with Katie Holmes; oh, and it's awesome besides), and any other role that is highly homoerotic meets c as well (Like Brokeback Pilots. I mean Top Gun).

Tom Cruise in a musical playing a butt rocker has high-larious homoerotic potential. However, if I'm going to watch a musical it has to be really funny or have harder music than this poofter metal. Plus, a musical where there's no original music? Sounds like the same sort of lazy junk as Moulin Rouge. Especially if I'm going to have to put up with Tom Cruise playing not-Jon-Bon-Jovi while he's very clearly pretending to sing Bon Jovi.

For instance: why couldn't Brutal Legend have been a cgi animated musical instead, starring Jack Black? :p I guess that's what Let's Plays are for.

Dizzy 04-05-2012 10:07 PM

Hmmmm....



Other stuff:

Oliver Stone's new movie Savages.

Salma Hayek = wrong person to play a criminal queenpin. Blake Lively = no... just no. Two random white dudes in their late 20s playing hero weed dealers? Ehhhhhno. No. What the hell is going on with Benicio Del Toro? You're better than this, man.

Ray Winstone kicks ass and speaks in an unintelligible, gravelly Bri'ish voice. That's pretty much it. Nice music!

Rascally Badger 04-06-2012 05:45 AM

Am I the only one who wants to starting laughing every time that Lockout trailer plays and they say "space prison"? For some reason I find it amusing enough that I'm considering going to see it.

Dizzy 04-06-2012 06:33 AM

Cosmopolis trailer.

I still don't have any faith in this.

Wolfgang 04-07-2012 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rascally Badger (Post 1282981)
Am I the only one who wants to starting laughing every time that Lockout trailer plays and they say "space prison"? For some reason I find it amusing enough that I'm considering going to see it.

I also laugh when they call the main character a loose cannon. There was an ad on Asult Swim tonight that was trying to play the movie off as self-aware, but the cynic in me thinks that's a bait and switch. I'm not going to fall for it, though.

It doesn't matter anyway, because The Raven is the end of all cinema. Edgar Allen Poe/SAW mashup torture porn has killed the medium of film.

Anonymooo 04-07-2012 02:11 AM

My favorite trailer so far is the one where Santa, the Easter Bunny, and other fictional children's holiday/special occasion characters get together and fight a dude who rules with fear and a literal army of nightmares, all to protect the hopes and dreams of children all over the world.

And it's made by the How to Train Your Dragon people. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this one.

Wolfgang 04-10-2012 03:00 PM

I will watch this movie.

sraymonds 04-10-2012 03:14 PM

A movie starring the current Doctor Who and Eva Green? That sounds like a good WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MOVIE

Wolfgang 04-10-2012 03:59 PM

I like how art cinema has really been embracing (dull, talky) sci-fi.


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