Yeah, I was bored and wanted to do some sort of project. (There’s only so many KEMCO games one can play before they start to blur together.) Fortunately, Amazon and eBay seem to have a limitless selection of cheap handhelds with a dubious approach to copyrights. I looked at a few, and settled on the wondrously-described:
Aojiao Handheld Game Console for Kids 3.0" Large Screen with Built in 268 Classic Retro Video Games Seniors Electronic Gaming Players Boys Girls Birthday (Blue)
I mean, you’d be a fool to turn this down. Perfect for on-the-go entertainment! Easy to operate even for 4 year olds! Work 5-6 hours! Joystick Design and Colorful Appearance!
…though I’m a bit concerned about this being a “Child’s Intimate Partner.”
I figured you’d also appreciate being able to read the official product description:
Also, this accurately describes what comes in the box. Handheld, battery, charge cable (micro-USB, we’re not fancy here), and a “manual” in more Google Translated Chiese-to-English.
Let’s have a look at the real thing, shall we? The advertised 3” screen is actually 2.8” with a simply enormous bezel. It has both a D-pad and a weird sliding analog stick thing. We have all six face buttons plus the R (reset) button; and they don’t actually feel that bad. (Start and Select are very clicky, but the other buttons aren’t.) When we start playing games we’ll see that everything is using NES controls, so Y and X are just turbo B and A buttons.
On the top, the shoulder buttons are lies—they’re just attached pieces of plastic that don’t depress. We also have a power switch, our micro-USB port for charging, a headphone jack, and a volume wheel.
Turning on the device jumps straight to the selection screen, which gives us six categories of games in glorious NES-era pixelation: Action, Shooting, Sports, Casual, Puzzle, and Venture. I’m pretty sure we’re working with a Famiclone hardware variant, but one of the lower-end ones from the graphical quality of the games. From my first glance through, it look like we’re going to have a mix of real NES roms, NES bootlegs, and Nice Code originals at the very least.
There are 270 games total, none of the titles repeat, and my initial scan against the FC500, GamesPower, and My Arcade Go Gamer lists indicate we might have as many as 80 titles we haven’t see before.
I’m going to be methodical and start with the Action section, which has 40 games. Our very first choice in the Action section is Bubble Bobble 2. And it is, in fact…
Aojiao Handheld Game Console for Kids 3.0" Large Screen with Built in 268 Classic Retro Video Games Seniors Electronic Gaming Players Boys Girls Birthday (Blue)
I mean, you’d be a fool to turn this down. Perfect for on-the-go entertainment! Easy to operate even for 4 year olds! Work 5-6 hours! Joystick Design and Colorful Appearance!
…though I’m a bit concerned about this being a “Child’s Intimate Partner.”
I figured you’d also appreciate being able to read the official product description:
- NOVEL DESIGN: This handheld game console features a stylish colorblock design. Free with preloaded 268 classic games.Join the joystick with the same function as the direction button, you can experience the fun of arcade.It's a great kid's birthday, Christmas gift!
- USER-FRIENDLY DESIGN: Regardless of the screen size (3.0 inches) or the size and layout of the buttons, this game console fully considers the portability and practicality of the child. Parents are worried about their little cute excessive use of mobile phones or pads, easy to be affected by bad content on the Internet. This game console is a very good substitute. No matter whether your kids are on the road or at home, it is a reassuring partner.
- RECHARGEABLE: Built-in a rechargeable lithium polymer battery, providing a steady stream of energy for your child's happiness. It also eliminates the parents from buying and replacing batteries frequently. Use the micro charging interface, compatible with most electronic product adapters. It only takes 1-2 hours to fully charge and you can play for 5 hours.
- SIMPLE AND EASY TO USE: This handheld game console is an easy to use and portable gaming device that lets you play your favorite games on the go. With its comfortable and intuitive controls, even 4 year olds can enjoy gaming fun without having to worry about complicated buttons or controls.
- KID'S FAVOURITE GIFT: This game console is suitable for birthday, christmas, and party gifts for both adults and children. This will be a big surprise for them. This game console is the perfect gift choice! Your child will love,and you'll love seeing their smile as they embark on epic adventures in the world of gaming.
Also, this accurately describes what comes in the box. Handheld, battery, charge cable (micro-USB, we’re not fancy here), and a “manual” in more Google Translated Chiese-to-English.
Let’s have a look at the real thing, shall we? The advertised 3” screen is actually 2.8” with a simply enormous bezel. It has both a D-pad and a weird sliding analog stick thing. We have all six face buttons plus the R (reset) button; and they don’t actually feel that bad. (Start and Select are very clicky, but the other buttons aren’t.) When we start playing games we’ll see that everything is using NES controls, so Y and X are just turbo B and A buttons.
On the top, the shoulder buttons are lies—they’re just attached pieces of plastic that don’t depress. We also have a power switch, our micro-USB port for charging, a headphone jack, and a volume wheel.
Turning on the device jumps straight to the selection screen, which gives us six categories of games in glorious NES-era pixelation: Action, Shooting, Sports, Casual, Puzzle, and Venture. I’m pretty sure we’re working with a Famiclone hardware variant, but one of the lower-end ones from the graphical quality of the games. From my first glance through, it look like we’re going to have a mix of real NES roms, NES bootlegs, and Nice Code originals at the very least.
There are 270 games total, none of the titles repeat, and my initial scan against the FC500, GamesPower, and My Arcade Go Gamer lists indicate we might have as many as 80 titles we haven’t see before.
I’m going to be methodical and start with the Action section, which has 40 games. Our very first choice in the Action section is Bubble Bobble 2. And it is, in fact…