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Patrick

Magic-User
(He/Him)
EDIT: I posted this when I was sleep deprived, and in retrospect I think it came off poorly. Removed.
 
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I watched Black Widow the other day. I had a good time, the movie was a decent if extremely predictable and formulaic Marvel movie (even for Marvel movies). But when watching the movie, I just weirdly got angrier and angrier, and when it was over I was just low key furious. I've waited a while to post impressions because I wanted to cool off and think about it, but nope, still angry at the movie.

Most of it boils down to the fact that Marvel/Disney keeps abusing this character I like, even after she's been rather uncerimoniously killed off. It's ridiculous we had to wait this long for a solo feature about her. And it's annoying as hell that the movie is basically about everyone but her. More time is spent fleshing out ScarJo's replacements than her. And I think the point in the movie that was the breaking point for me personally, was when they tried lampshading Black Widow's whole stylized landing sequence thing she does. Like, the movie effectively mocked her character for doing that, which like, ok. It's a little silly granted, but that's what heroes of all genders do. I still really hate lampshading though. The act of acknowledging you're doing something stupid doesn't suddenly make you better. You're still doing that stupid thing! Then, the substitute Black Widow decides after repeatedly mocking her sister about what she does, decides to just do it herself just to try it out which brings the whole obnoxious lampshading to a new level.

By the end of the film, ScarJo is having a free-falling insane fight through the clouds doing action stunts that would make Cap blush. And her surviving all these death-defying stunts, and also discovering she too has a family to go home to, further makes her death in Endgame even more infuriating. Like, she sacrifices herself to save Hawkeye who is a piece of shit because he has a family he has to return to and she doesn't... except she secretly did! Ugh!

I really really really really really really really really really really really hope Kevin Feige or someone near him gains suddenly gains some sensibility and uses Loki S1 to retcon her death because short of that I'll never forgive Disney for this insult and injustice.

In Ang Lee's "Hulk" (2003)
This is a hill I've repeatedly died upon. That movie is a masterpiece and I adore it. The lacking audience and critical response to that film was an early indicator to me that humanity might be doomed.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The first Captain America movie is still one of my favourite movies in the MCU, but… honestly, the first episode of What If makes me dislike it, because know I know what we could have had.

Being animated means they can get some fight scene choreography that would have been… a lot tougher to achieve if nothing else. Also; SHUMA GORATH!!!

Anyway… I like this. This is some good streaming TV
 

madhair60

Video games
By the end of the film, ScarJo is having a free-falling insane fight through the clouds doing action stunts that would make Cap blush. And her surviving all these death-defying stunts, and also discovering she too has a family to go home to, further makes her death in Endgame even more infuriating. Like, she sacrifices herself to save Hawkeye who is a piece of shit because he has a family he has to return to and she doesn't... except she secretly did! Ugh!

there's your problem, you're using your brain to think about it. it's the MCU, you just gotta sit back and consume.
 
there's your problem, you're using your brain to think about it. it's the MCU, you just gotta sit back and consume.
You might be right. But it's never a good look imo when enjoyment of something rests on "just turn your brain off and stop thinking." Sometimes I'm in that mood, but I'd like to be able to enjoy things on multiple levels.

Anyway… I like this. This is some good streaming TV
Meanwhile I thought it was a big downer/mixed bag. I liked the scenario and a lot of its ideas in the abstract. But I thought the execution was lacking.
I liked Steve as proto-Iron Man. "Captain Carter" is a pretty lame name for a professional butt-kicker, but I don't know what else they could have done there. Some of the animation was choreographed in a way that you could tell whoever was storyboarding this had some real talent. But whoever was then turning the storyboards into animation was very trick or treat. Some of it looked great, some looked stilted and horrendous. The voice acting felt extremely phoned in, but I'm willing to chalk that up to the actors probably literally phoning in their lines via zoom b/c of pandemic scheduling. And the writing was bad. Just some of the corniest stuff. I like corn, but the dosage makes the poison, and this one was stepping over the line a bit. I want something a little higher budget than this, and it's more than a little disappointing as a result. Hollywood suits seem to think TV cartoons = phone it in/cheap out when it doesn't have to be that way.
 
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Patrick

Magic-User
(He/Him)
Toward the end I thought it was going to reference some other Marvel movies or do something wild, but it just turned into a kind of watered down Hellboy setpiece. It was good overall, I think I just set my expectations too high.
 

Phantoon

I cuss you bad
I liked the concept of Captain Carter more than what we got. The execution was slightly meh but I'd like some multiverse stuff to bring her in please
 

madhair60

Video games
You might be right. But it's never a good look imo when enjoyment of something rests on "just turn your brain off and stop thinking." Sometimes I'm in that mood, but I'd like to be able to enjoy things on multiple levels.

I wish I could, but I feel like lately the MCU has been offering pretty thin gruel.
 

Jeanie

(Fem or Gender Neutral)
I liked the concept of Captain Carter more than what we got. The execution was slightly meh but I'd like some multiverse stuff to bring her in please
clean.jpg

Bonus: Her Bucky equivalent, Becky Jones, starts dating a Valkerie based on Tessa Thompson.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Captain Carter is definitely invoking a lot of Captain Britain;

IMG_A0905723A48E_1.jpeg


Just if she dyed her hair and gained at least entire person worth of muscle mass
 
Why is the neckline of her outfit a collared shirt with a tie, what a weird affectation.

Also, the entire idea of a Captain Britain is bigly problematic, maybe even more so than a Captain America. (Which is why I was like, I dunno what else they'd call her I guess)
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
In far more tragic news; Venom 2: Venom Versis Woody Harrelson has been delayed and now won’t come out until the middle of October, instead of on my birfday.

Fine Sony, I wasn’t going to invite you to my party anyway.
 

Jeanie

(Fem or Gender Neutral)
Captain Britain is more of the Arthur King of the Britons and less Boris Johnson Britain.
 

Adrenaline

Post Reader
(He/Him)
I don't understand why Uatu does his whole narration explaining that this universe is different because Peggy decided to stay in the room for the experiment when events subsequently play out differently than they did in The First Avenger independently of that decision
 
I don't understand why Uatu does his whole narration explaining that this universe is different because Peggy decided to stay in the room for the experiment when events subsequently play out differently than they did in The First Avenger independently of that decision

i feel like not actually being a "what if?" story has been a defining characteristic of Marvel's What If? brand since the 70s, so i guess it's just carrying on the venerable legacy of this kind of confused line of alternate universe stories that may or may not actually be about exploring the ramifications of a "what if?" question

alternate answer to win a letter column no-prize in 1978:
something something butterfly effect something something
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Uatu watches everything, but that doesn’t mean he cares to try to understand any of it, and is just making a guess
 

Adrenaline

Post Reader
(He/Him)
It's still a what if story, the question is just "what if the Hydra spy didn't wait until after the experiment to attack?"
 

madhair60

Video games
I don't understand why Uatu does his whole narration explaining that this universe is different because Peggy decided to stay in the room for the experiment when events subsequently play out differently than they did in The First Avenger independently of that decision
It's written solely to make more content exist rather than produce anything that stands up to any kind of scrutiny, because fans will praise it regardless of what actually happens on screen

Excuse my cynicism
 

Phantoon

I cuss you bad
Also, the entire idea of a Captain Britain is bigly problematic, maybe even more so than a Captain America. (Which is why I was like, I dunno what else they'd call her I guess)
I don't think we should compete on this, both countries' history is steeped in the blood of innocents.

What I will say is that people here who display the flag outside of football tournaments get serious side eye so nobody you'd like to meet would cover themselves in it and call themselves "Captain Britain". Going to the US where the flag was flapping everywhere was disconcerting
 

Patrick

Magic-User
(He/Him)
Going to the US where the flag was flapping everywhere was disconcerting
Yeah, I remember when distant cousins from Ireland visited around independence day and were super weirded out. I hadn’t given it much thought before that, but the US is obsessed with the flag.
 
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