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The Valdez Museum for Video Game Box Art Presents...The 59 Greatest Lines of Dialogue in a Video Game EVER, as performed by Puppet Von Puppington, Esq

WildcatJF

Act
(he / his / him)
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Yo yo yo yo, Talking Time! The results are in, and it's time to reveal what y'all thought are the 59 Greatest Lines of Video Game Dialogue!
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That's right Shi, but before we get to the main event with our esteemed marketing and outreach coordinator and world famous actor Puppet Von Puppington, let's first give thanks to the 15 Talking Time patrons who devoted the time to curate this event: WildcatJF (wait, he's the one running this, is that allowed?), Purple, Daikaiju, Lyrai, Torzelbaum, Johnny Unusual, Gahitsu, Solitayre, Kirin, Issun, Violent Vixen, RT-55J, naetaeryn, spines, and Aurelia! *clap*
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A few cat-veats: due to the nature of this contest, everyone's third place and above will be featured. Only two entries received over 100 points, which indicates the breadth and variety from our patrons! In fact, 263 individual submissions were tallied!
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...wait, what the actual hell is all this? This was NOT what I signed up for!

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Cuz, we hired you to serve as a host for our event...
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No, the invoice quite clearly states that I am hosting a gala event full of pomp and circumstance that needs a high energy, funny, charming, and electric co-presenter to introduce the main performer!

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...isn't that what this is?
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NO!

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...but look at how full the house is?
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...my sister?!! And the poor souls she keeps dragging back to this dump?

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Considering our theater only has three seats, yes...we are slowly but steadily rebuilding after the katamari incident...and the mecha incident...and the Mr. X incident...and...
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...

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Cuz, c'mon, do this for ME, please!
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All right, fine.
I need that new amp bad enough to humiliate myself.
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...you all realize you are live, right?
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HELLO...and without any further delays, your friend and mine, the acclaimed and furry superstar of the Valdez Museum of Video Game Box Art, PUPPET VON PUPPINGTON!
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
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#49
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Salutations! Before I begin, a quick little note about decorum. We welcome all sorts of responses, but please refrain from being particularly cruel, mean, or vindictive towards any of our winning quotes! Let's keep this a positive environment! And one last bit of housekeeping: updates will be weekly for this contest, likely on Saturdays. We're going full on to kick off this little jaunt, but we'll be scaling back to 5 per week until the top 11, then 2 per week until we reveal the BEST QUOTE EVER.

I've kept you on tethers for long enough! Let the show begin!


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...and to recap, #49 belongs to the following submissions!
“I was sure that deep down, all people are inherently good at heart…But now…You made it sound like you were bound to kill him at any cost… and now I understand why.” Eupha, Metaphor Re:Fantazio - WildcatJF, #3
"Itchy. Tasty." – Keeper, Resident Evil - Purple, #3
"It was something else. It was that somehow, within the horrors of the derelict void, they had learned to see inside something ugly and broken...and take away its pain." - Narration from Ballas, Warframe from The Sacrifice - Lyrai, #3
"You're the one holding the stone. You can change not only the world, but the truth of everything with its power." Cardinal Draclau, Final Fantasy Tactics - Torzelbaum, #3
"Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism." – GLaDOS, Portal - Johnny Unusual, #3
"I'm a god! How can you kill a god?" - Dagoth Ur, Morrowind - Solitayre, #3
"I'M GIVE UP. YOUR APPELLATION'S: TECHNICAL MONKEY." - End credits, Gradius III - Kirin, #3
“Slayer” Multiplayer Announcer, Halo - Violent Vixen, #3
"Fire! Fire! Don't let them through!" - Area 6 Commander (Star Fox 64) - RT-55J, #3
"Look here you little bastards, this thing's not a toy, and even if it was, it's an adult toy. Not that kind of adult toy, like adults ONLY, not ADULTS only, or a—look, just let me—" -I-no, Guilty Gear Xrd - spines, #3
“I’ve got a lot on my mind. And, well, in it.” - Tav, Baldur's Gate 3 - naetaeryn, #3


We'll see YOU next week for more! For us, we'll still be here like time never passed...too true, too true.
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CUZ!
 
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"Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism." – GLaDOS, Portal - Johnny Unusual, #3
Oh I had to cut and still included SO MANY quotes from the two games. I'm excited to see what else shows up. I feel these games have tons of iconic quotes but that risks splitting votes. Very intrigued.

“Slayer” Multiplayer Announcer, Halo - Violent Vixen, #3
I know the series isn't a thing for most people on the board and totally understand, but it's really iconic to me and I have so many wonderful happy memories playing it with friends. And the little explosion was great, thank you.

Also this is a neat little video of the voice actor going through all the iconic ones (not in the game's intonation for most of them but still very fun).
 
Oh I had to cut and still included SO MANY quotes from the two games. I'm excited to see what else shows up. I feel these games have tons of iconic quotes but that risks splitting votes. Very intrigued.
This was my only Portal. I love Portal but it had the misfortune of being almost too memed. This is the one I remember making me laugh out loud when it happens. Of course, the effectiveness is also dependent on the context, being that GLaDos says this after you beat the puzzle while at the start she claims "This puzzle is impossible. Do not even attempt it."
 
I only allowed myself one quote per game. Will there be a Portal quote? We shall see!

Not terribly surprising that I wasn't the only vote for my #3.
 
Thank you for hosting this! Not surprised to learn that my #3 was voted for others but excited to learn where it’s placed. A lot of fantastic quotes in peoples #3 so far is making me realize that this is going to be a great Thunderdome.
 
Hah, well, fun that my complete nonsense from the Gradius III ending got to have a showing. I've always had a soft spot for that particular bit of Engrish. It's just kind of poetic. I also imagine it's a bit of a mouthful to say.
 
If I could make one request; Maybe add the Rank # in large font somewhere on the posting.
 
If I could make one request; Maybe add the Rank # in large font somewhere on the posting.
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Now that I'm not in the heat of the proverbs, most certainly! I've asked our resident tech marvel to incorporate it into the original posting. Isn't that just grand! It's like it was always there! Typewriters never gave one such luxury of illusion!
 
I matched games but different quotes for FFT, SF64, and Portal.
I only picked one quote from each game and tried not to pick all the most meme'd lines.

"slayer" from halo was a good pick.

I'm really interested to see where people picked the same quote.
 
"Itchy. Tasty."
I had considered this iconic line for my list but it didn't make the cut. Nice to see it show up.

"You're the one holding the stone. You can change not only the world, but the truth of everything with its power."
Interesting to see your interpretation of this and all of the other lines so far. I'm sure doing this is an interesting but possibly intimidating endeavor for an actor. But it seems to be a challenge that you wanted since you didn't ask us to provide any stage direction. (So I guess that means that we're producers and not directors for this.)

We welcome all sorts of responses
But should we hold our applause until the end?

I only allowed myself one quote per game.

I placed no such limit on myself.
I'm with RT-55J : there were multiple games that I pulled more than 1 quote from.
 
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#40 Part 1
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A very warm welcome to our second collection of iconic idioms dropped within the ideals of interactivity! We're even a day earlier than expected! Smashing! This week's selection moves us into the #2 votes of our patrons, but only a selected few; we will wrap the remainders up next week and shift into #27 of our esteemed curation. Without further dallying, let's crack in, shall we, folks?


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...and to recap, #40 belongs to the following submissions!
“You're about to become the immediate past president of the being alive club.” ~ GLaDOS, Portal 2 - Issun, #2
“Not sure if Turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we both end up there, meet me at the bar.” Garrus, Mass Effect 3 - Violent Vixen, #2
"Daddy screamed REAL good before he died!" - Pigma Dengar (Star Fox 64) - RT-55J, #2
"I know there's nothing wrong with me…That's all I wanted to say to you." Asellus, Saga Frontier - spines, #2
“All right, everyone, let’s mosey.” - Cloud, Final Fantasy 7 - Aurelia, #2


Y'know, this ain't so bad. Maybe I've just had a bad impression of this place.

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Carp, the Mets are trying to free Banjo-Man from the Katamari again!
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Ugh. With Dr. Wily's zombific host long gone, they've lost their source of obedience and seek it from the evilest replacement possible...if it wasn't such a grand exhibit, I'd have decommissioned the cursed thing back to the King of All Cosmos...
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..................................................I stand goddamn corrected.
 
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Posted at the same time! Yay more quotes!

Garrus is my video game boyfriend, I love him so much. This is at the end of Mass Effect 3 and you're (vague ending spoilers) gearing up to the final push. Despite Mass Effect 2 having the well-known Suicide Mission in the endgame, this one feels different. They don't break the fourth wall, but this is a clear goodbye to the characters as well as acknowledging many of these characters may not survive the next bit of the game. But this conversation actually made me tear up.

 
Picking only one GLaDOS quote might be a fools errand but I think this one distills her essence pretty well.
 
Little confused. We jumped from #49 to #40?
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Ties are weird. The 59th through 49th quotes were tied, thus having the highest number of #49. There are 9 quotes tied for our current place on the list of #2s with 1 vote, making them all 40th place. Then we have all the 1st place quotes tied for #27...just go along with us, it'll all make sense.
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...will it really, though? I'm still not sure what's happening.
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Quiet from the house, please.
 
that's a good list of quotes.
That Pigma quote was a contender for my SF64 pick.
I wanted to pick a quote from FF7, but ended up not fitting one in. I ended up only picking one quote from all the FF games.
 
#40 Part 2 and #27 Part 1


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...and thus, these #40s belong to!
"But you must always remember that the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Alucard, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night - WildcatJF, #2
"Pride, it is the most insidious of sha. It is good until it is bad, and then it is more dangerous than all the others combined." - Emperor Shaohao, World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria - Daikaiju, #2
"It shall be engraved upon your soul! Divine Assault — Nibelung Valesti!" Lenneth Valkyrie, Valkyrie Profile - Torzelbaum, #2
"The rantings of an up-jumped zealot make for tedious listening." - Grigori, Dragon's Dogma - Solitayre, #2


And our first #27 goes to!
“Einstein would turn over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.” Chairman Sheng-ji Yang, Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri - Nataeryn, #1

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......Takara, what the hell are you doing?
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Kinuyo, what the hell are you doing? Hm? Hmmmmmmmmmmm?
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...
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...
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Okay. I'll go sit in the audience and you do this then. Have no fucks here! But I'M still getting paid for it! You didn't sign a damn contract to host this shit.
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Are you so sure?
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..................*rustles out contract* *reads furiously* Wait! When, how...fuck!
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She zinged ya, brother.
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 
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Most excellent, I am available for royal busking and barding!
His spirit currently resides and holds court on the Timeless Isle off the coast of the Jade Forest in Eastern Pandaria. Be advised it's a Brigadoon situation, so maybe don't book an extended gig.
 
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Splendid advice! Roaming is in my blood so I can't coop up anywhere too extended, so a one-night only would be on the table. I'll plan a vacation around this! Marvelous!
 
I love the quotes when you discover a tech from all of the Sid Meier games, but I didn't want to include any from the Civ franchise because those are quotes from literature or famous real life people. So I went with a SMAC quote. I wanted a quote from Academician Prokhor Zakhaov, but each character sort of has a personality to their quotes. Yang spends a lot of his quotes on philosophy that make them quotable. I like the reference to "God does not play dice". Also, if you think about it for just one second, not playing dice, and playing with loaded dice is kind of saying the same thing. All of the characters in SMAC sort of feel like villains because they are extreme in their ideology and its one of my favorite things about that game. No matter who you pick, all the others are so easy to be hated and to make wars feel justified.
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri is just so good.
 
I was lying in bed last night and realized I forgot one of my favorite quotes, dang. It’s somewhat well known though, so maybe other folks picked up my slack.
 
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