Well, it's the middle-ish of December again, the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, Santa has a renewed sense of self confidence following another successful MEGAMAS and the New Games list is looking pretty sparse for another month or so, and that means Last Thread of the Year, suckers! So, as the year draws to a close, whether you celebrate Squishmas, Rey Mysterios Birthday, The Feast of Stevens, Tooth Awareness Day, Parasite Eve, X-Marse, The Death Anniversary of the Ghost of Christmas Future, Bricksmas, Reverse Halloween, Zombbuka, Isthmus Eve, Sanguinalia, St Octeaux’s Day, Fleecester, Oops! All Saints Day or St. Swithens Day, you'll find just the perfect thing to hope a stranger breaks into your home and shove under an indoor plant.
So we're keeping things off with a game that, very appropriately, snuck in without anyone noticing last week; The Thing: Remastered! The latest remaster of a game everyone forgot about from Nightdive; continuing to justify their position at the top of the heap of completely inexplicable, extensive remasters of forgotten video games. And its one I'm particularly excited for since Nightdive has a real knack for fixing up what needed fixing when they get their mitts on a remaster; and the original version of The Thing was the very definition of Neat but Flawed. It's a direct sequel to the '82 movie with you leading a rescue team sent to figure out why nobodys heard from Kurt Russel or Keith David in a minute and then WHOOPS, find a big ol' shapeshifting ball of carnivorous meat slopping about; and now neither you nor the rest of the team knows who is a little more ectomorphic than the average person. Naturally this leads to a Resident Evil game except with way more tentacles.
And I guess Santa DOES listen to Squishmas wishes sometimes, because that's not the only game I've spent, like, twenty years wishing and praying got a gussied up re-release for coming out this week; Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver Remastered is next and BOY OH BOY, am I excited for Santa Law to lift so I can play it. It's a fancied up re-release of the two Soul Reaver entries of the Legacy of Kain series (which makes them part 2 and 3 overall, I think... time travel is involved so the chronology gets fuzzy) starring angsty "I have no mouth and I must complain" angry son, Raziel as he gets turned into a Double Vampire courtesy of a big ol eyeball-and-tentacle monster and instructed to go kill his entire extended family because they're kiiiiiinda responsible for the ongoing vampire-apocalypse. Then he learns he's been hoodwinked but good and opts to use Time Travel to address the problem a bit more indirectly.
The games are like if Guillermo del Toro made a Legend of Zelda game and I am HERE FOR IT!
And what the heck, let's stick with Old Games Getting Re-released, and so what better time to mention that the NSO got another Gameboy update, and its another Donkey Kong game and no, it's still not Donkey Kong '94; it's Donkey Kong Land 3, the Gameboy remix/port of Donkey Kong Country 3! I... uh... didn't know there was a Donkey Kong Land 3, but I guess there was, since here it is. I'm not sure if it's a reasonably faithful adaptation like DKL2 was, or a largely original game like DKL1, but I DO know that Country 3 was the one that nobody seemed to think too strongly on one way or the other and it starred a giant muscle baby instead of either Donkey or Diddy Kong.
Anyway, this is that but with a weaker soundtrack and on a smaller screen.
A retro compilation re-release that's MUCH easier to get excited about is Taito Milestones 3, which... *might* be the strongest selection of the Taito Milestones collections? In any case, this here has Bubble Bobble, Rainbow Islands, Growl, Rastan Saga, Rastan Saga 2, Cadash, Champion Wrestler, Warrior Blade, Dead Connection and Thunderfox.
I've only heard of about half of those, but that half includes Growl and Bubble Bobble so knowing anything more is superfluous information.
And what would any given week of the year be without another port of a Japanese PC game; and this week Egg Console brings us Legend of Heroes 2. And, as usual, the game offers no localization efforts and the game is VERY text heavy so unless you're capable of reading Japanese you... uh... may find steadier purchase in other fields.
Now if something with absolutely no localization efforts doesn't appeal to you, how about something with some *excessive* creative liberties taken when bringing it across the pond; I speak of course of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Ritas Rewind, a side-scrolling beat-em-up based on the original Power Rangers series. Well... I guess based on the Netflix movie that served as a sequel to that, but I digress. The evil future robot version of Rita Repulsa has travelled back in time to team up with her younger, fleshier, early-90s moon witch self and beat the crap out of a bunch of teenagers with attitudes before they can thwart her plans to conquer Earth five or six times a week.
It looks like the kind of beat-em-up that weirds up the gameplay constantly, and it also looks fun as hell and if this weren't a week with in it, it would definitely be the thing I'm most excited for. Well, no shame in a silver medal.
Now, out of all video game characters what one best represents the spirit of the Holiday season. Probably Wario, right? It's gotta be Wario. And what's the best way to experience Wario? Depends on who you ask, but general consensus is Wario Land 4. But that ain't on NSO yet, for some reason so we have to go to the next best thing; Anton Blast, a game where the only way to tell it's NOT Wario Land 4 is that your guy is green and red instead of yellow and purple.
So... if you're colour-blind, there's no difference at all.
And why would you want there to be a difference? Wario Land 4 is fun as hell! And based on the demo, this is precisely as fun as hell! So what are you complaining about? We've gone 20+ years with no Wario Land 4s and we got two in the same six months!
And next up is Victory Heat Rally. It's a racing game and it's got a nice Beetle Adventure Racing kind of vibe to it, but with some neat sprite-based cel-shading visuals and... that's all I got. It ain't a genre that really appeals to me but I've heard lots of praise for it. So now I'm sharing that information to you, no charge.
Speaking of things that are very colourful and cel-shaded, we have Fairy Tale 2, and... the title implies that this is only the second video game based on the anime Fairy Tale and that doesn't sound right. Has to be more than that, right? Anyway, it's a video game adaptation of one of the later arcs of the series so... umm... watch out for spoilers if you're just playing an anime tie in video game instead of watching or reading the original work.
And finally, we have Chernobylite which I learned, just now, is *not* a spinoff of the STALKER games. Except for being survival FPSs taking place in a cthulhu'd up Chernobyl exclusion zone full of competing factions of awful people and mutated monsters. This one looks more like Fallout than Deus Ex. Anyway, explore a scenic Nuclear Wasteland full of everything that hates you while searching for your probably extremely dead fiance.
Sounds like a real cheerful time to chase away the holiday blues.
Though its been said, many ways, many times. Merry Video Games, to you.
So we're keeping things off with a game that, very appropriately, snuck in without anyone noticing last week; The Thing: Remastered! The latest remaster of a game everyone forgot about from Nightdive; continuing to justify their position at the top of the heap of completely inexplicable, extensive remasters of forgotten video games. And its one I'm particularly excited for since Nightdive has a real knack for fixing up what needed fixing when they get their mitts on a remaster; and the original version of The Thing was the very definition of Neat but Flawed. It's a direct sequel to the '82 movie with you leading a rescue team sent to figure out why nobodys heard from Kurt Russel or Keith David in a minute and then WHOOPS, find a big ol' shapeshifting ball of carnivorous meat slopping about; and now neither you nor the rest of the team knows who is a little more ectomorphic than the average person. Naturally this leads to a Resident Evil game except with way more tentacles.
And I guess Santa DOES listen to Squishmas wishes sometimes, because that's not the only game I've spent, like, twenty years wishing and praying got a gussied up re-release for coming out this week; Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver Remastered is next and BOY OH BOY, am I excited for Santa Law to lift so I can play it. It's a fancied up re-release of the two Soul Reaver entries of the Legacy of Kain series (which makes them part 2 and 3 overall, I think... time travel is involved so the chronology gets fuzzy) starring angsty "I have no mouth and I must complain" angry son, Raziel as he gets turned into a Double Vampire courtesy of a big ol eyeball-and-tentacle monster and instructed to go kill his entire extended family because they're kiiiiiinda responsible for the ongoing vampire-apocalypse. Then he learns he's been hoodwinked but good and opts to use Time Travel to address the problem a bit more indirectly.
The games are like if Guillermo del Toro made a Legend of Zelda game and I am HERE FOR IT!
And what the heck, let's stick with Old Games Getting Re-released, and so what better time to mention that the NSO got another Gameboy update, and its another Donkey Kong game and no, it's still not Donkey Kong '94; it's Donkey Kong Land 3, the Gameboy remix/port of Donkey Kong Country 3! I... uh... didn't know there was a Donkey Kong Land 3, but I guess there was, since here it is. I'm not sure if it's a reasonably faithful adaptation like DKL2 was, or a largely original game like DKL1, but I DO know that Country 3 was the one that nobody seemed to think too strongly on one way or the other and it starred a giant muscle baby instead of either Donkey or Diddy Kong.
Anyway, this is that but with a weaker soundtrack and on a smaller screen.
A retro compilation re-release that's MUCH easier to get excited about is Taito Milestones 3, which... *might* be the strongest selection of the Taito Milestones collections? In any case, this here has Bubble Bobble, Rainbow Islands, Growl, Rastan Saga, Rastan Saga 2, Cadash, Champion Wrestler, Warrior Blade, Dead Connection and Thunderfox.
I've only heard of about half of those, but that half includes Growl and Bubble Bobble so knowing anything more is superfluous information.
And what would any given week of the year be without another port of a Japanese PC game; and this week Egg Console brings us Legend of Heroes 2. And, as usual, the game offers no localization efforts and the game is VERY text heavy so unless you're capable of reading Japanese you... uh... may find steadier purchase in other fields.
Now if something with absolutely no localization efforts doesn't appeal to you, how about something with some *excessive* creative liberties taken when bringing it across the pond; I speak of course of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Ritas Rewind, a side-scrolling beat-em-up based on the original Power Rangers series. Well... I guess based on the Netflix movie that served as a sequel to that, but I digress. The evil future robot version of Rita Repulsa has travelled back in time to team up with her younger, fleshier, early-90s moon witch self and beat the crap out of a bunch of teenagers with attitudes before they can thwart her plans to conquer Earth five or six times a week.
It looks like the kind of beat-em-up that weirds up the gameplay constantly, and it also looks fun as hell and if this weren't a week with in it, it would definitely be the thing I'm most excited for. Well, no shame in a silver medal.
Now, out of all video game characters what one best represents the spirit of the Holiday season. Probably Wario, right? It's gotta be Wario. And what's the best way to experience Wario? Depends on who you ask, but general consensus is Wario Land 4. But that ain't on NSO yet, for some reason so we have to go to the next best thing; Anton Blast, a game where the only way to tell it's NOT Wario Land 4 is that your guy is green and red instead of yellow and purple.
So... if you're colour-blind, there's no difference at all.
And why would you want there to be a difference? Wario Land 4 is fun as hell! And based on the demo, this is precisely as fun as hell! So what are you complaining about? We've gone 20+ years with no Wario Land 4s and we got two in the same six months!
And next up is Victory Heat Rally. It's a racing game and it's got a nice Beetle Adventure Racing kind of vibe to it, but with some neat sprite-based cel-shading visuals and... that's all I got. It ain't a genre that really appeals to me but I've heard lots of praise for it. So now I'm sharing that information to you, no charge.
Speaking of things that are very colourful and cel-shaded, we have Fairy Tale 2, and... the title implies that this is only the second video game based on the anime Fairy Tale and that doesn't sound right. Has to be more than that, right? Anyway, it's a video game adaptation of one of the later arcs of the series so... umm... watch out for spoilers if you're just playing an anime tie in video game instead of watching or reading the original work.
And finally, we have Chernobylite which I learned, just now, is *not* a spinoff of the STALKER games. Except for being survival FPSs taking place in a cthulhu'd up Chernobyl exclusion zone full of competing factions of awful people and mutated monsters. This one looks more like Fallout than Deus Ex. Anyway, explore a scenic Nuclear Wasteland full of everything that hates you while searching for your probably extremely dead fiance.
Sounds like a real cheerful time to chase away the holiday blues.
Though its been said, many ways, many times. Merry Video Games, to you.
