Talking Time Presents: The Top 60 Video Game Enemies Exhibit at the Valdez Museum of Video Game Box Art

[WildcatJF]

The other HAMM3R BROZ (Super Mario)

#31.5 (N64 points, nominated by WildcatJF [woot], Octopus Prime [research], Daikaiju [robot])
First Appearance: Super Mario Bills (pictured: Mario & Luigi: Babes in Paradise)

Can you find the hammer bro in the water?

Here's what our donners had to say:

“Time for Hammer Bro's drum solo! Ha! My music's so MOVING! Take this, tiny!” ~ Hammer Bro

Spoiler: Please click me

GOTTIE

There is no hammer bro in the water. There never has been

This is a joke, new content tomorrow​

 

[WildcatJF]

Spoiler: Soundtrack #1

Um..............what happened on my day off? Holy halibut, this is super fishy.

......yeah, Dad doesn't write like that. Usually. Did we get hacked?

Hm. Yeah...whoever did this was fairly skilled. Almost as if they themselves were part of the code to get in....

Not bad. I could have used someone as quick and resourceful as you for our Thunderdome years ago.

What...who's speaking? My headphones aren't even plugged in...

I does heard it

Aye, me as well.

Spoiler: Soundtrack #2

Huh...well, whoever that was, they're gone. Thunderdome...you mean those music contests the Talking Time forum does? What would...I get the feeling our hacker friend has been here before. Well, maybe not this version of the boards...I'm going to need some time to investigate this with the staff here. But I can say we shouldn't have any more "l33t" posts like that for a while. I'll work on beefing up our digital security.

Thank you Marina. I'll do some detective work on my end, too. We do not need any further deterioration of the Valdez Museum of Video Game Box Art brand.

I's touch boots with mai kinections to

 

[WildcatJF]

MURLOC (Warcraft)

#30 (65 points, nominated by nataeryn [3], Daikaiju [4])
First Appearance: Warcraft III (pictured: Warcraft III: Reforged)

Gmmmlmrmrgmg flllurlog urka mmgr uuua. Mglrmglmglmgl!

Here's what our donors had to say:
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I just can't get enough of their gargle warcry. such derps ~ nataeryn

This isn't a robot. Out of my sight. ~ Mr. X

Spoiler: Matlock theme

*horns*

 

[Bulgakov]

Killing these time and again, then realizing the singlehanded genocide I had wreaked upon their kind was what made World of Warcraft too dark for me to continue.

I am a monster.

 

[Daikaiju]

 

[Daikaiju]

Where there's one murloc, there's twenty. And they've all aggro'ed on YOU.

Well except for this guy. Solo murloc is sad murloc.

 

[WildcatJF]

ATTENTION: We had a small incident at the Valdez Museum of Video Game Box Art. A thorough report will be issued tomorrow.

 

[WildcatJF]

That's right: A TWO-FOR-ONE DEAL

INVADERS (Space Invaders)

#29 (68 points, nominated by Torzelbaum [15], Ixo [24], Positronic Brain [1])
F rst pp nc :Sp c nv d rs

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Some of the earliest enemies in all video games, this iconic sprites blazoned themselves on the eyeballs of millions of "heroes" trying to shoot them down in 1979 and beyond. They slowly crawl closer to the Earth over time, and gain speed as their numbers reduce. Legends!

Here's what our donors had to say:
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Invaders are like the defacto go-to enemy in broader culture, y'know? Plop a picture of an invader down and it works basically like shorthand for video games as a whole. There's even a little invader emoji on smartphones for heck's sake. ~ Ixo

​

So iconic it is often what is used to graphically convey 'Space Invaders' to people. ~ Torzelbaum

​

He won "Most chances of becoming an icon of videogames" in its high school yearbook ~ Positronic Brain

Spoiler: Space Invader

[Instrumental]

---

SHYGUYS (Super Mario)

#28 (68 points, nominated by Johnny Unusual [10], Beta Metroid [23], Rascally Badger [7])
First Appearance: Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic / Super Mario Bros. 2

These mask-covered baddies made a memorable debut in Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic, and Nintendo incorporated them into the Super Mario canon thanks to the localized Super Mario Bros. 2. Shyguys were among the first to be introduced outside of Subcon, following Bob-ombs and Pokeys by becoming one of the primary foes in Yoshi's Island. While fairly benign in SMB2, piloting Autocannons and Ostros being their most ambitious endeavor, Nintendo has let their creative sparks fly with them since, with a multitude of offshoots like the tribal Shyguys, Flyguys, Pastry Guys, and even serving as the Kart substitute in Super Smash Bros. They love tennis.

Here's what our donors had to say:
​

These guys do such a good job at portraying the hard-working, mischief-loving, comically inept minions. My favorite instance of the Shy Guy are the lines of them that hang out at the top of the screen and pass dynamite to each other in an attempt to drop it on you in Yoshi’s Island. If you ground pound and shake the screen, it makes them fumble it, and the one who drops it looks down in shame, while the next one in line looks back and forth in confusion, and all the rest look away and shake their heads.~ Beta Metroid

Spoiler: Shy

The door opens, the room winces

 

[Octopus Prime]

Both excellent good dogs.

The gibberin' of the shyguy is one of those perfect video game sounds

 

[Torzelbaum]

I didn't include Shy Guys on my list for this Top 50 but I did have them at #14 on my list of Top 50 Mario entities. They're good bad shy boys. One of those enemies I feel a little bit bad about killing. I would rather just leave them be but they just happen to have the misfortune of being between me and my goal.

Both excellent good dogs.

Even though the Invaders are crabs, octopuses and squids.

I had specifically voted for the Crab (AKA Medium) Invader* because it seems to be the one that is used most often to represent the game (it is used for many of the emojis** that WildcatJF mentioned). Also I do think it is the coolest looking of the three common invaders.

But all of the Invaders are good bad Space boys who have an excellent attack plan which was displayed in an episode of Futurama.

Ndnd: We're losing ships, sir. What are your orders?
Lrr: Increase speed, drop down and reverse direction!

(I'm sure some of you can hear the game's sound effects in your head just by looking at this picture.)

*Who sort of look like they move exclusively by doing jumping jacks.

** Which appear to be called "Alien Monster" to try to avoid copyright infringement.

 

[Octopus Prime]

What is a crab but a small hard dog?

 

[Torzelbaum]

What is a crab but a small hard dog?

You can't argue with that logic!

 

[WildcatJF]

Given that your vote was the only one specific to one invader, Torzelbaum, I made an executive decision to combine it with the other two.

 

[Issun]

I didn't think of Invaders. Good choice!

 

[Torzelbaum]

Given that your vote was the only one specific to one invader, Torzelbaum, I made an executive decision to combine it with the other two.

That's fine. I know you had said that there were some enemies you would count separately but I don't remember the Invaders being on that list.

 

[Falselogic]

I love Shy Guys.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Super Mario Bros. 2 was one of my first games and the Shy Guys made a big impression. Bunch of solid looking dudes.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Super Mario Bros. 2 was one of my first games and the Shy Guys made a big impression. Bunch of solid looking

guys

 

[Octopus Prime]

A Shy Guy doesn’t look like much, but consider; Mario, a full grown man, can stand on its head without It even slowing down

 

[Torzelbaum]

They're shy not weak.

 

[Lokii]

They're not really shy either.

Now boos, those are some shy fellas or ladies.

 

[Daikaiju]

Poor Snifits. Left to the dustbin of history.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Poor Snifits. Left to the dustbin of history.

Well that's where those jerks belong.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Poor Snifits. Left to the dustbin of history.

My headcanon is that Snifits are Shyguys who get over their social anxiety.

The other Snifit headcanon shoots bullets every few seconds when they jump

 

[Dracula]

The first time I ever played Space Invaders was on the Game Boy re-release in the late 90s. I remember there being a lot of hype over this reissue - it had a feature in Nintendo Power, and it had a special SNES mode that you could only access if you played it in the Super Game Boy. I think I actually bought (or, well, asked to buy) the game solely based on this hype?

And guess what, it kinda let me down! I didn't really know much about Space Invaders, and I don't think I was prepared for just how primitive it was. I was used to games with clear goals, end credits, boss battles, stuff like that. Since I didn't grow up haunting grimy early 80s arcades, the concept of playing a game solely for the challenge of learning enemy patterns to increase your point value was lost on me.

I've since grown to appreciate this type of game. I'm still really bad at Space Invaders, though.

Oh and the Invaders themselves are flawless enemy design for such an early video game. They communicate the emotion of threat easily through two frames of animation and a handful of pixels. And so many games have taken inspiration from them. They're good mollusks, I tell you!

 

[Bulgakov]

Space Invaders was the first game I owned.

 

[Zef]

A Shy Guy doesn’t look like much, but consider; Mario, a full grown man, can stand on its head without It even slowing down

They're shy not weak.

If a man who can jump tens of feet in the air and pull out radishes twice his size jumps on your head, are you going to tell him to get off?

 

[Octopus Prime]

Speaking personally, no, out of respect

 

[Ixo]

Special "Oh screw you" shout out to Game Guy from Mario Party 3.

He sucks, his games suck, I will hear no counter-arguments.

 

[Torzelbaum]

If a man who can jump tens of feet in the air and pull out radishes twice his size jumps on your head, are you going to tell him to get off?

No - because I would be unconscious or dead.