I've been reading some old Batman comics, and they're that special brand of batty that's too good to keep to myself. You get to be the beneficiaries of my reading.
#191
Batman announces that he's giving up crime-fighting, and he auctions off all his paraphernalia. Alfred and Robin are distraught. What could be going on? Flash back to an earlier battle with one Ira Radon. Batman beats him soundly, but then he discovers a hidden message written in radiation on the batmobile: Radon has blasted Batman and his gear with radiation. The dose is harmless, but if Radon ever discovers that Batman is fighting crime again, he'll activate the radiation in Batman's body, killing him. Radon demands that Batman retire and auction off his stuff. Radon does some research and finds that the Wayne foundation bought up everything to put it into a museum -- everything but a single batarang. That one was bought by Batman under a pseudonym. Radon traces down the fake buyer and finds himself attacked by a man he quickly deduces is Batman. Batman has covered himself in a thick layer of clay, which protects him from the radiation, so he manages to defeat Radon without getting radiated to death. The day is saved!
---
Alfred is kidnapped by some no-name who became a millionaire through illicit but undescribed means. Since the crook is rich, he wants to live like the rich, so he orders Alfred to make him some food. Alfred, that clever so-and-so, makes a menu full of hints as to his location, but Batman and Robin thwart one of the grocery store robberies. (Of course they're robbing the stores. You don't become a criminal millionaire by throwing away cash.) This is a problem, because they're now lacking a crucial hint. They revisit the store and find the criminals' shopping list, which they cross-reference with Alfred's recipes, which he keeps in a safe because of course he does. This gives them the final clue they need to recover Alfred. The day is saved!
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#197
Catwoman is on a crime-stopping spree. Batman and Robin show up late to each crime scene, only to find that Catwoman has already saved the day. She pointedly remarks that she's way better than Batgirl. At one point, Batman and Robin are basically defeated, but Catwoman saves them. Later, Batgirl arrives at a crime scene at the same time as Catwoman, and Batgirl finds herself utterly unable to fight the goons. Catwoman cleans them up just before the dynamic duo arrive, and Batgirl is forced to concede that Catwoman is the better crime-fighter. Catwoman asks Batman to marry her now that he's seen how good she is, but Batman declines (only to change his mind decades later). Catwoman later apprehends all three of our heroes and unmasks them all, but they anticipated this and painted their faces black under their masks. Our heroes deduce that all the crime Catwoman thwarted was actually set up by her, and the earlier defeats they suffered were a result of a shiny bauble Catwoman was wearing. They de-bauble Catwoman and apprehend her. The day is saved!
There's so much to unpack in these stories that it would entirely derail the story if I attempted it, so I'll leave the commentary to you this time. See you again -- same Bat-time, same Bat-thread!
#191
Batman announces that he's giving up crime-fighting, and he auctions off all his paraphernalia. Alfred and Robin are distraught. What could be going on? Flash back to an earlier battle with one Ira Radon. Batman beats him soundly, but then he discovers a hidden message written in radiation on the batmobile: Radon has blasted Batman and his gear with radiation. The dose is harmless, but if Radon ever discovers that Batman is fighting crime again, he'll activate the radiation in Batman's body, killing him. Radon demands that Batman retire and auction off his stuff. Radon does some research and finds that the Wayne foundation bought up everything to put it into a museum -- everything but a single batarang. That one was bought by Batman under a pseudonym. Radon traces down the fake buyer and finds himself attacked by a man he quickly deduces is Batman. Batman has covered himself in a thick layer of clay, which protects him from the radiation, so he manages to defeat Radon without getting radiated to death. The day is saved!
---
Alfred is kidnapped by some no-name who became a millionaire through illicit but undescribed means. Since the crook is rich, he wants to live like the rich, so he orders Alfred to make him some food. Alfred, that clever so-and-so, makes a menu full of hints as to his location, but Batman and Robin thwart one of the grocery store robberies. (Of course they're robbing the stores. You don't become a criminal millionaire by throwing away cash.) This is a problem, because they're now lacking a crucial hint. They revisit the store and find the criminals' shopping list, which they cross-reference with Alfred's recipes, which he keeps in a safe because of course he does. This gives them the final clue they need to recover Alfred. The day is saved!
--
#197
Catwoman is on a crime-stopping spree. Batman and Robin show up late to each crime scene, only to find that Catwoman has already saved the day. She pointedly remarks that she's way better than Batgirl. At one point, Batman and Robin are basically defeated, but Catwoman saves them. Later, Batgirl arrives at a crime scene at the same time as Catwoman, and Batgirl finds herself utterly unable to fight the goons. Catwoman cleans them up just before the dynamic duo arrive, and Batgirl is forced to concede that Catwoman is the better crime-fighter. Catwoman asks Batman to marry her now that he's seen how good she is, but Batman declines (only to change his mind decades later). Catwoman later apprehends all three of our heroes and unmasks them all, but they anticipated this and painted their faces black under their masks. Our heroes deduce that all the crime Catwoman thwarted was actually set up by her, and the earlier defeats they suffered were a result of a shiny bauble Catwoman was wearing. They de-bauble Catwoman and apprehend her. The day is saved!
There's so much to unpack in these stories that it would entirely derail the story if I attempted it, so I'll leave the commentary to you this time. See you again -- same Bat-time, same Bat-thread!
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