Johnny Unusual Ate This - A near-weekly series of terrible mistakes

[Johnny Unusual]

Picked these up today! It was more expensive than usual.

Trident Pineapple Twist

There's a brand new gum and it goes like this.
And the name of the gum is the pineapple twist.

Crush Birch Beer

I have no idea what this is but I'm excited.

Clark Cups

I've heard of Clark Bars but I haven't had one.

Haribo Fruity Penguins

Seems like a generic gummy. If it was Gummi brand, I'd be more interesting.

Amish Country Popcorn Chocolate Glaze

I fucked up the cinnamon glaze back in the day but I want to get this right. I probably won't get to it until the weekend.

Kool-Aid Sour Snappin' Green Apple

I feel like I lost my patience with the Skittles drinks so I'm hoping this return to Kool-Aid feels good.

Cocoa Pebbles Milk Chocolate and Cereal Bites

Yabba Dabba Do! These were... too expensive.

Pringles Fiery Loaded Nachos

Mr. P sayin' "MMMM Hurts so good."

Marshmallow Peeps

This is just... blue peeps. Makes me think of toilet cleaner. But on marshmallows.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Trident Pineapple Twist

There's a brand new gum and it goes like this.
And the name of the gum is the pineapple twist.

Fine. Just fine.

Crush Birch Beer

I have no idea what this is but I'm excited.

This is very root beery. I guess birch is a plant so it's a specific root for their beer? Anyway, I really liked it. Not sure why they put this under the Crush label, though.

Clark Cups

I've heard of Clark Bars but I haven't had one.

A decent enough off-model Reese Cup

Haribo Fruity Penguins

Seems like a generic gummy. If it was Gummi brand, I'd be more interesting.

This was... hard to chew. Or easy to chew, as there was a lot of give, but it broke up hard to the point it tired my jaw. Perfect for teething if they weren't choke sized.

Kool-Aid Sour Snappin' Green Apple

I feel like I lost my patience with the Skittles drinks so I'm hoping this return to Kool-Aid feels good.

Pretty good actually. Really needs to be watered down because the sour part isn't that great but a lot more refreshing tasting than skittles.

Cocoa Pebbles Milk Chocolate and Cereal Bites

Yabba Dabba Do! These were... too expensive.

They are basically milk chocolate balls with a slight crunch. American Pebbles barely have a presence.

Pringles Fiery Loaded Nachos

Mr. P sayin' "MMMM Hurts so good."

Pretty decent. And while not as hot as Hot Ones, spicier than a lot of these chips.

Marshmallow Peeps

This is just... blue peeps. Makes me think of toilet cleaner. But on marshmallows.

It was peeps all right. I think it's just my mind playing tricks but maybe the blue sugar was coarser. But, yeah, probably all in my head, like people who claim Shamrock Shakes have some sort of mint in them.

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

Haribo is weird. Lotta ppl love them, my mother included. But they're very so-so to me specifically because of how tough and chewy they can be. But! They're not always super chewy. Sometimes they're soft. It feels like a freshness thing, where for whatever reason, Haribos go stale on shelves very frequently.

 

[Daikaiju]

This is very root beery. I guess birch is a plant so it's a specific root for their beer? Anyway, I really liked it. Not sure why they put this under the Crush label, though.

Actually it's usually made from the bark of the birch tree, and some herbal additions. It's usually reddish as opposed to Root Beer's brown, at least in Pennsylvania.

 

[jpfriction]

Haribo is weird. Lotta ppl love them, my mother included. But they're very so-so to me specifically because of how tough and chewy they can be. But! They're not always super chewy. Sometimes they're soft. It feels like a freshness thing, where for whatever reason, Haribos go stale on shelves very frequently.

My grad school advisor bought a big bulk thing of haribos for a chemistry demonstration and then gave us the leftovers. We picked away at them for the better part of a year, like eating a tire by the end of it.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

For Wednesday.

M&M's Peanut Bar

Probably good.

David Nacho Cheese

I'm not sure what makes it different than regular cheese. "Spice" maybe?

Thank You

You're welcome, sweet.

Coca Cola Cherry Vanilla

I like cherry coke OK. A little vanilla will be a decent edition.

Kool-Aid Grape Drink Mix

I really liked the green apple. I feel like these will taste better a little "over" watered.

Fruity Pebbles Bites

Yabba Dabba Do! These things never seem to need the actual cereal. Like, they are a slight texture.

Mike and Ike Tropical Typhoon

With my Mike and Ike love rekindled, I'm looking forward to this.

Dubble Bubble Gumballs Machine Refills

A milk carton? Hey, there's even a missing child on the side.

Make it home safe, kid.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Probably good.

I mean, yeah. Though if you are a peanut fan, I BARELY noticed them.

David Nacho Cheese

I'm not sure what makes it different than regular cheese. "Spice" maybe?

Seriously I have a lot of sunflower seeds with potentially interesting flavours but it's all in the service of delicious shells I shouldn't eat.

Thank You

You're welcome, sweet.

I think one was rum. All good but generic chocolate.

Coca Cola Cherry Vanilla

I like cherry coke OK. A little vanilla will be a decent edition.

Fine. I feel like cherry cola and vanilla cola is something I never get super jazzed about. Heck, I'm not even a big cola guy. But I do think the can looked kinda classic.

Kool-Aid Grape Drink Mix

I really liked the green apple. I feel like these will taste better a little "over" watered.

Pretty good but grape is rarely my first choice in flavours.

Fruity Pebbles Bites

Yabba Dabba Do! These things never seem to need the actual cereal. Like, they are a slight texture.

I'm actually shocked. So the chocolate ones are fine but the pebbles add little, not even texture. I really didn't care for birthday cake. But I feel like they made those ones because they HAD to. But these make this entire Pebbles exercise worth it. It's basically Froot Loops cereal milk in a ball. This is one of the most addictive and yummy things I've eaten from the Candy Depot. NOTED FOR GOODNESS.

Mike and Ike Tropical Typhoon

With my Mike and Ike love rekindled, I'm looking forward to this.

Pretty good! Almost everything is half-banana flavoured. But Mike and Ikes really nail down that flavour/texture magic.

Dubble Bubble Gumballs Machine Refills

A milk carton? Hey, there's even a missing child on the side.

Make it home safe, kid.

For better and worse, this is the platonic ideal of a gumball.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Thursday

Krabby Patties Gummy Candy

The Easter ones weren't great and these probably won't be better.

Chipoys Chile Lemon

Small bag. Frankly, I feel like these kinds of snacks benefit from small portions.

Prime Blue Raspberry

A hydrating beverage for the end of the Summer.

Bigs Old Bay Seasoned

Sunflowers with seafood seasing. Again, I never dislike them but the taste is always very light.

Sonic Ocean Water

This might just be salt.

Bubbaloo Menta

The color makes me think blue raspberry but I think it's mint.

Mike and Ike Jolly Joes

It's just grape but Jolly Joe is a fun name all the same.

Fruity Pebbles Bar

Yabba Dabba Do! Last one!

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Krabby Patties Gummy Candy

The Easter ones weren't great and these probably won't be better.

Yeah. They are fine but you can't out-Gummi Gummi, usually.

Chipoys Chile Lemon

Small bag. Frankly, I feel like these kinds of snacks benefit from small portions.

These were pretty good. Um... that's about all I got. Little spicy, little crunchy, good snack

Prime Blue Raspberry

A hydrating beverage for the end of the Summer.

Man, the fridges were stocked with Prime and either they were sold out or recalled but they were gone when I came back. There's an artificiall flavouring that could be better but it was fine and tasted more overtly hydrating than Gatorade.

Bigs Old Bay Seasoned

Sunflowers with seafood seasing. Again, I never dislike them but the taste is always very light.

OKish. I feel like seafood flavouring works better in other contexts.

Sonic Ocean Water

This might just be salt.

This was weird. I have never had the "original" Ocean Water cause I've never been to a Sonic but it has a smell of the beach and a slight roughness to remind one of ocean water... which is weird. But I'm also willing to admit it might simply psychosomatic. I'm not sure how to describe the taste but its slightly coconutty, smells like sun lotion. I'm pretty sure it's the coconut.

Bubbaloo Menta

The color makes me think blue raspberry but I think it's mint.

Um... it's mint Gushers gum. It's fine

Mike and Ike Jolly Joes

It's just grape but Jolly Joe is a fun name all the same.

Mike and Ike has yet to have a dude in it's line up.

Fruity Pebbles Bar

Yabba Dabba Do! Last one!

Real good. I don't know if it's white chocolate with flavouring or something similar but different but, again, I loved it much more than the birthday cake flavour, which just tastes like white chocolate. Just that fruity flavour mixed in is what does it.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Hey hey for Friday

Kool-Aid On the Go Cherry

What's that gesture mean, Kool-Aid Man?

York Peppermint Patties Zero Sugar

I liked the one York I remember having for this so hopefully it works well in Zero Sugar mode.


Bubbaloo Plantano

Is this banana flavoured or plantain flavoured?

Strawberry Rings

I suspect this is is going to taste generic. Still might be good, though.

Rum & Butter

I feel like this is before my time. I feel like I've seen them every so often in candy shops but never picked one up.

Mike and Ike Cherry

Grape gets to be Jolly Joes and Cherry is just cherry? Why?

Crush Peach

I like peach drinks and flavours but I've yet to have a carbonated peach drink that feels right to me.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Kool-Aid On the Go Cherry

What's that gesture mean, Kool-Aid Man?

This is good but unlike most of the time, I didn't feel the need to add extra water. Just the recommended amount is the right amount of sweetness.

York Peppermint Patties Zero Sugar

I liked the one York I remember having for this so hopefully it works well in Zero Sugar mode.

OK, but a little too firm and doesn't melt in your mouth the way you want.

Bubbaloo Plantano

Is this banana flavoured or plantain flavoured?

I think it IS plantain. And it's pretty good. Or just a banana flavour that's similar.

Strawberry Rings

I suspect this is is going to taste generic. Still might be good, though.

Perfectly servicable.

Rum & Butter

I feel like this is before my time. I feel like I've seen them every so often in candy shops but never picked one up.

This is pretty good. If you've had a caramilk, it's like that but on the inside is rummy ooze that tastes nice.

Mike and Ike Cherry

Grape gets to be Jolly Joes and Cherry is just cherry? Why?

Mike and Ike has yet to have a weak choice. Very good.

Crush Peach

I like peach drinks and flavours but I've yet to have a carbonated peach drink that feels right to me.

Liked this more than I expected. I'm always going to be orange first but this is a good Crush.

 

[Daikaiju]

Liked this more than I expected. I'm always going to be orange first but this is a good Crush.

So it's Crushing it?

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Tomorrow!

Lucas Spaghetti Sour - Green Apple

This duck is SO COOL!

Charleston Chew

Old timey choco-bar in stick form.

Bubbaloo PikPina

Based on my limited knowledge of latinx languages... spicy?

Mike and Ike Orange

Great Canadian Meat Pepperoni

Any relation to Great Canadian bagel or is "Great Canadian" just... a two part adjective. Are there "Great American things"? Because if there are, I will get them the side eye.

Oreo Straws? (maybe?)

I feel like some people can read this. Do I got it right?

Kool-Aid Rock-a-dile Red Drink Mix

Does anyone know what flavour or mix of flavors this is supposed to be?

Prime Lime

So I drank this already. And later in the week I made an unpleasant discovery about the product's co-creator (I didn't even look up the other one so I dunno) and I don't think I'll be buying any more of this drink.

 

[Torzelbaum]

Does anyone know what flavour or mix of flavors this is supposed to be?

Red

 

[JBear]

Does anyone know what flavour or mix of flavors this is supposed to be?

It looks like it's supposed to taste like the 80s, so... cigarettes?

 

[Torzelbaum]

But to be helpful instead of silly - a store website says it has "artificial mixed berry flavor". Which maybe isn't all that helpful...

It looks like it's supposed to taste like the 80s, so... cigarettes?

Or maybe cocaine.

 

[Violentvixen]

Based on my limited knowledge of latinx languages... spicy?

Piña is pineapple but I dunno about the "pik" part

Edit: Oops, there's a drawing of the pineapple on the right side, totally missed that.

Does anyone know what flavour or mix of flavors this is supposed to be?

If it's 80s, gotta be that Red 40 goodness (note: Red 40 is fine, people got confused about a Russian study on another red dye and scared)

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Lucas Spaghetti Sour - Green Apple

This duck is SO COOL!

This is good but I missed the best part is that the candy spaghetti is packaged with candy sauce at the bottom of the package, which is also good.

Charleston Chew

Old timey choco-bar in stick form.

I remember these being very chewy but this is good, probably due to being smaller.

Bubbaloo PikPina

Based on my limited knowledge of latinx languages... spicy?

It's supposed to be spicy pineapple. It's good but not actually spicy.

Mike and Ike Orange

Again, Mike and Ike kills it. But in orange flavor.

Great Canadian Meat Pepperoni

Any relation to Great Canadian bagel or is "Great Canadian" just... a two part adjective. Are there "Great American things"? Because if there are, I will get them the side eye.

Eh, not particularly good. As greasy as you might expect. Not a bad snap to it.

Oreo Straws? (maybe?)

I feel like some people can read this. Do I got it right?

Using these as milk straws doesn't work as well as you might hope. On their own? They are fine.

Kool-Aid Rock-a-dile Red Drink Mix

Does anyone know what flavour or mix of flavors this is supposed to be?

Tastes like red. Which... fine but there's not much "there" there.

Prime Lime

So I drank this already. And later in the week I made an unpleasant discovery about the product's co-creator (I didn't even look up the other one so I dunno) and I don't think I'll be buying any more of this drink.

A good hydrating drink. Needlessly expensive but I thought "Sure, I'll try all the flavours." Then... Well, I drank it at my work and a co-worker said "Oh, yeah, my boyfriend's looking for those. He's a big fan of Logan Paul."
"....what?"
"Yeah, it's his drink."

Yeah, apparently he co-created an energy drink with a rapper I've never heard of. So... I don't want to try these any more.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

For today!

Mike and Ike Sour Lemon

Some have been better than other but yet to have Mike and Ike steer me wrong.

Charleston Chew Strawberry

This is the kind of Charleston Chew I expect... but will it be as hard to wolf down as I remember.

Maritime Madness Heavenly Horseradish Seafood Sauce

Decided to try the various sauces my candy store has. At least it's more candy than the mountain of Funkos they have.

Big Red

A classic cinnamon gum.

Shari Jellybeans

A beaver dressed as a rabbit isn't nearly the weirdest packaging thing I've seen so why does it feel weird. I think it's because it's assuming I know who the mascot is and I don't, even though I just ate a food with him on it the other week.

Kool-Aid On the Go Purplesaurus Rex

Is the dinosaur on a safari to watch other dinosaurs?

Whirly Pop Soda Juicy Grape

I guess it's supposed to taste like a big lolli, but I don't know if I want my drinks to taste like that.

Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Bites

Sounds good but the fact that it, surprisingly, doesn't have branding is interesting. It's both refreshing and worrying.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

Ooh, I remember loving me some Purplesaurus Rex!

 

[Daikaiju]

Ditto. Lovely berry flavored lemonade.

 

[Kirin]

Why is that video one ad, then another ad, then both ads put into an editing blender at random?

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I didn't make the video, Kirin! I can't answer this question!

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Mike and Ike Sour Lemon

Some have been better than other but yet to have Mike and Ike steer me wrong.

Yummy. A nice sour one.

Charleston Chew Strawberry

This is the kind of Charleston Chew I expect... but will it be as hard to wolf down as I remember.

Again, I remember these being too chewy but maybe it was an issue in shipping. This tastes fine.

Maritime Madness Heavenly Horseradish Seafood Sauce

Decided to try the various sauces my candy store has. At least it's more candy than the mountain of Funkos they have.

I made a seafood supper just for this and man, it was delicious. Burn rate 0, though.

Big Red

A classic cinnamon gum.

Good gum but not much to say. Just cinnamon gum.

Shari Jellybeans

A beaver dressed as a rabbit isn't nearly the weirdest packaging thing I've seen so why does it feel weird. I think it's because it's assuming I know who the mascot is and I don't, even though I just ate a food with him on it the other week.

Similarly, these taste like traditional jelly beans. They do them well but that's about it.

Kool-Aid On the Go Purplesaurus Rex

Is the dinosaur on a safari to watch other dinosaurs?

Someone mentioned lemonade and berry but to me it just tastes like purple. I'll try to taste for it next drink.

Whirly Pop Soda Juicy Grape

I guess it's supposed to taste like a big lolli, but I don't know if I want my drinks to taste like that.

I don't get the candy branding. It just tastes like a grape soda. It's fine.

Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Bites

Sounds good but the fact that it, surprisingly, doesn't have branding is interesting. It's both refreshing and worrying.

Also fine. A completely competent cookie dough with choco-topping. Hopefully next week will be more interesting.

 

[Daikaiju]

Again, I remember these being too chewy but maybe it was an issue in shipping. This tastes fine.

I can only speak for my own experience but Chews were often a last resort choice at the corner store. As a result they tended to sit longer and dry out a bit, hence being more chewy. Packaging is a lot better these days so they probably don't dry out as easily.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

For Monday eatings

Chipoys Fire Red Hot

I've definitely had some hot chips (though not @JBear error hot) but I tend to be skeptical of the promise. We'll just see.

Bubbaloo Fresa

Hey, a Bubbaloo flavour I haven't tried yet.

Fitz's Premium Strawberry Pop

More strawberries? Yes please (though, as I've stated, strawberry pops rarely do it for me).

Amish Popcorn Buttery Topping

I don't think I mentioned before but I finally used Amish Country's chocolate glaze and while it took a while to perfect making, it eventually turned out good. This has much easier instructions; pour over hot poppity corn.

Treacle Toffee

This is going to be hard to chew.

Tootsie Roll

Haven't had one of these in a while. They were never my favourite but maybe my old man mouth will enjoy them more.

Handi-Snacks Oreo

It's a dunkaroo but with oreo. Good, but I was too old by the time Dunkaroos came about so I don't have any nostalgia.

Hawaiian Punch Berry Blue Typhoon

It's OK just to call it blueberry. No need to drag weather systems into this.

Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers Worms

I remember Trolli being a non-gummi brand that does good gummi (though I believe their specific focus is sour).

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Chipoys Fire Red Hot

I've definitely had some hot chips (though not @JBear error hot) but I tend to be skeptical of the promise. We'll just see.

This was pretty yummy, though not that hot.

Bubbaloo Fresa

Hey, a Bubbaloo flavour I haven't tried yet.

It's fine. Strawberry.

Fitz's Premium Strawberry Pop

More strawberries? Yes please (though, as I've stated, strawberry pops rarely do it for me).

It's fine. Strawberry.

Amish Popcorn Buttery Topping

I don't think I mentioned before but I finally used Amish Country's chocolate glaze and while it took a while to perfect making, it eventually turned out good. This has much easier instructions; pour over hot poppity corn.

Not strawberry. It worked OK but I think I liked using it more as a Kraft Dinner ingredient than in pop corn.

Treacle Toffee

This is going to be hard to chew.

I actually liked it more than I thought. I guess I think of treacle as kind of nasty sugar glop but maybe I'm just getting older I like the heavier "darker" taste.

Tootsie Roll

Haven't had one of these in a while. They were never my favourite but maybe my old man mouth will enjoy them more.

It's a perfectly fine choco-toffee.

Handi-Snacks Oreo

It's a dunkaroo but with oreo. Good, but I was too old by the time Dunkaroos came about so I don't have any nostalgia.

There was something weird about the white stuff. More liquidy than usual, presumably because it spreads easier.

Hawaiian Punch Berry Blue Typhoon

It's OK just to call it blueberry. No need to drag weather systems into this.

I liked it more than I expected. A pretty good fakey punch.

Trolli Sour Brite Crawlers Worms

I remember Trolli being a non-gummi brand that does good gummi (though I believe their specific focus is sour).

Perfectly fine sour gummi. Not unique but if that's what you want, it's good.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Tomorrow!

Hot Tamales

Never the biggest fan of cinnamon spice candies but I don't dislike them either.

Chubby Tutti Frutti

I remember a friend from Junior High was really into these for some reason. I'm not sure why. The funny name maybe that sounds like a non-flaccid penis?

Fanta Big Red

Is this flavoured like the gum?

Jelly Belly Berry Blue Drink Mix

I like jelly bellies but I don't think I want to drink them.

Bubbaloo Tutti Frutti

Huh, "tutti frutti" as a flavour, is having it's week.

Ruffles KFC Original Recipe Chicken

I like the chips that taste like savoury meats but they are rarely interesting and I can't easily differentiate most of them. I can't tell the difference between "roast chicken" and "poutine". I'm sure this will be the same.

Charleston Chew Chocolaty

It says to try frozen. Should I do it?

Peeps Party Cake

Decorate it how you want, it's gonna taste like marshmallows dipped in sugar to me.

 

[Kirin]

Fanta Big Red

Is this flavoured like the gum?

Or is it flavored like Big Red soda, a brand which my friend was into and may have been local to some area including Louisville KY? What flavor exactly Big Red soda was supposed to be was a subject of spirited debate, which somehow landed on the answer of “not bubblegum”.

 

[JBear]

"Red" and "Purple" are both classic flavours of candy/drink that have no relation to any real foods.