Johnny Unusual Ate This - A near-weekly series of terrible mistakes

[Johnny Unusual]

Next week...

Splashing Cola Center Shock

Due to my love of cola gummis, I'm hoping this will translate to sour gum.

E. Wedel Dark Tiramisu

Why is there a monkey and a boy on this? I missed them on the last one.

Island Punch Outrageous Orange

I'm sure it will be fine. I just think food related adjectives are... too much for any given flavor. This will not inspire outrage.

TGIFriday's Party Bites Mac n Cheese

I don't think this will live up to the hot fries but I will totally inhale them.

Fanta Soda Kem Trai Cay

I suspect based on the name this is a fruity variation on cream soda.

 

[Kirin]

Drinks made from "bird's nest". Or more accurately bird's spit. Pray for me.

So are these still actually made from swallow nests? Because that just seems difficult to mass-produce in a sustainable fashion.

Why is there a monkey and a boy on this? I missed them on the last one.

That's a very zebra-looking monkey.

 

[Daikaiju]

So are these still actually made from swallow nests? Because that just seems difficult to mass-produce in a sustainable fashion.



That's a very zebra-looking monkey.

The zebra-est

 

[Johnny Unusual]

That's a very zebra-looking monkey.

Yeah, the problem wasn't a typo, it was me correcting something (I thought the boy was a monkey) and then correcting the wrong word, making it even wilder.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Splashing Cola Center Shock

Due to my love of cola gummis, I'm hoping this will translate to sour gum.

This was OK. It's the best of them but like all of this brand, strong start for flavour but it's quick to disappear.

E. Wedel Dark Tiramisu

Why is there a monkey and a boy on this? I missed them on the last one.

Pretty good. Like the last flavour, it's good but the flavour doesn't excite me. But it works well with the dark chocolate.

Island Punch Outrageous Orange

I'm sure it will be fine. I just think food related adjectives are... too much for any given flavor. This will not inspire outrage.

This is good but the interesting thing is the nature of the sweetness kind of gives it a creamsicle flavour, which I don't think is intended.

TGIFriday's Party Bites Mac n Cheese

I don't think this will live up to the hot fries but I will totally inhale them.

As I suspected, not as good as hot fries but yummy. And maybe I'm projecting, it does taste like the cheese of mac and cheese rather than just a wrong cheeto.

Fanta Soda Kem Trai Cay

I suspect based on the name this is a fruity variation on cream soda.

Very good. I don't like cream soda but giving it the proper fruity flavours of pineapple and banana work shockingly well, particularly since I actually don't like pineapple soda that much.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Today, I'm gonna eat...

Dairy Milk Snowman

This won't be unique, but it will be a decent enough chocolate (mostly, I'm trying to help get rid of whatever Christmas snacks are left).

Yo-Yo Mania

Clearly the appeal is the toy and now that treat. But frankly, I'm just trying to see if I can have every treat in the store that I can morally buy. Plus, there's another reason I'll get into later.

Lay's Stax Flamas Mas Caliente Que Rico

Stax is Lay's doing the Pringles thing and these seem to be from a Spanish speaking country and is "flaming", "spicy" and "rich".

LOOK! Dark Chocolate

I've never heard of LOOK!, but it seems to have nougat and peanut.

Fanta... orange?

Huh. So Fanta is usually orange but maybe the difference is it's Mandarin orange? I think the label is in Russian. Or maybe Polish?

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Dairy Milk Snowman

This won't be unique, but it will be a decent enough chocolate (mostly, I'm trying to help get rid of whatever Christmas snacks are left).

I expected this to just be fine but it was shockingly good. It wasn't just air-bubbled on the inside, I think they used a different chocolate. Yummy.

Yo-Yo Mania

Clearly the appeal is the toy and now that treat. But frankly, I'm just trying to see if I can have every treat in the store that I can morally buy. Plus, there's another reason I'll get into later.

The gum itself had the same issue of most sweet gum; the flavour disappears too quick. But the flavour that is there was better than I expected. Terrible yoyo though. One of the preschool songs had a yo-yo in it and I was hoping it could be a fun bit of realia.

Lay's Stax Flamas Mas Caliente Que Rico

Stax is Lay's doing the Pringles thing and these seem to be from a Spanish speaking country and is "flaming", "spicy" and "rich".

This was pretty good. Spicy but also slightly acidic. I don't think it's lime but it reminds me of something similar.

LOOK! Dark Chocolate

I've never heard of LOOK!, but it seems to have nougat and peanut.

Finally, a candy bar that sounds like an 80s Wall Street guy making a slight karate chop motion as they say this to get your attention so they can make their point. Anyway, it was a pretty decent bar. I thought it was going to be like a Charleston Chew but I think this is better.

Fanta... orange?

Huh. So Fanta is usually orange but maybe the difference is it's Mandarin orange? I think the label is in Russian. Or maybe Polish?

Slightly different orange Fanta is good.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Yesterday was cheat day...

Beeman's Chewing Gum

"Um-m Good Old Fashioned Flavor!"
You seem uncertain, Beemans. But this "pepsin" gum has a slight cola flavour and though the taste doesn't last long, I quite like it. Which is good since I bought a big tin of it.

Lay's Stax Bacon and Cheddar Potato Skins

I mean, good, but it's a pretty generically flavoured cheese/bacon chip. Any day of the work I'd prefer sour cream and bacon.

Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate Bomb

I've had two hot chocolate bombs and both have been disappointing. Maybe it's that I use milk substitutes, largely almond milk, but I think a regular hot chocolate would be better.

Jujubes Nougat

I think this is available in regular stores but I don't see them frequently. They are fine and good but not much to note. If you like Jujubes and nougat... it's pretty good.

Hawaiian Punch Blue Ocean Breeze

Forgot I had this and to photograph it. It's another fine zero sugar low cal sweet drink mix and it's fine. Frankly, though, I feel I'll appreciate these mixes more when the weather heats up.

Fanta #whatthefanta

I think this is my last Fanta, this one with the classic "guess our flavour gimmick". I think it might be citrus and blueberry. I'm not going to bother doing the research, even though if I go to the website it could tell me.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Next Tuesday, I'm going to tell you, it gets a bit basic.

Dad's Cream Soda Drink Mix

I don't have a lot of faith in this because cream soda is one of my least favourite kinds of soda.

Fanta Grape

I thought I was done with Fanta but it occurred to me I never did talk about having the basic Fanta flavours.... I think. You can find Fanta in Canada but I think Crush is more common in this part of Canada. I think.

Kit Kat 70% Cocoa

A dark chocolate. I know this one used to be at the gas station I worked at. Usually my candy shop's stock is just stuff that isn't common so now I'm wondering if this one isn't regularly in stock anymore.

Pringles Pizza

OK, I know this one is everywhere and have had it often. But I feel married to the idea of seeing if I can eat one of everything in the store.

Amish Country Red Hot Cinnamon Glaze

A popcorn topping. You need to heat it up with oil and drizzle it over. I'll probably try it on Monday, since I'll be watching a movie that night.

Fun Dip Funbook

Still trying to help the shop get rid of their Christmas stock. And I haven't had Lik-M-Aid in forever.

Galaxy Gum Tape

So... off-brand bubble tape. Got it.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Dad's Cream Soda Drink Mix

I don't have a lot of faith in this because cream soda is one of my least favourite kinds of soda.

I'm not a cream soda this and this doesn't turn me around.

Fanta Grape

I thought I was done with Fanta but it occurred to me I never did talk about having the basic Fanta flavours.... I think. You can find Fanta in Canada but I think Crush is more common in this part of Canada. I think.

Tastes like grape. You know, I never found "grape flavour" to reflect any grapes I've eaten until I went to Korea. There I had "black" grapes where the flesh is jelly-like and the skin comes off and has a sour tang. It was a revelation. That said, I much prefer the taste of red grapes.

Kit Kat 70% Cocoa

A dark chocolate. I know this one used to be at the gas station I worked at. Usually my candy shop's stock is just stuff that isn't common so now I'm wondering if this one isn't regularly in stock anymore.

Kit Kats are always good. I'm gonna say that I'll always prefer milk chocolate but dark chocolate isn't bad.

Pringles Pizza

OK, I know this one is everywhere and have had it often. But I feel married to the idea of seeing if I can eat one of everything in the store.

Good but I find the savoury flavours never bring me immediately to mind of the flavours they are emulating, this particularly.

Amish Country Red Hot Cinnamon Glaze

A popcorn topping. You need to heat it up with oil and drizzle it over. I'll probably try it on Monday, since I'll be watching a movie that night.

Some trial and error. I think I'm ready to do it right but I'll wait until I by non-microwaved popcorn, since I through you were supposed to cook and drizzle which isn't what you are supposed to do.

Fun Dip Funbook

Still trying to help the shop get rid of their Christmas stock. And I haven't had Lik-M-Aid in forever.

In wee little packages...

And puzzles and such, including the world's easiest maze.

Even for a 6 year old, this would be insulting.

But I do feel like the dust doesn't stick to the stick as well as I remember. Maybe my saliva isn't sticky enough anymore.

Galaxy Gum Tape

So... off-brand bubble tape. Got it.

This is about as good as regular bubble tape, save I THINK it's a little less pliable. Of course, it could be that bubble tape isn't as pliable as I remember. The flavour stays around longer than some of these treats. Oh, and it looks like in theory you can hitch this to your belt but I feel like it would be bad; it opens up at half-way so your gum would probably fall out and the role of "tape" doesn't slide out very easily.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I'm getting behind so here's what I ate last cheat day...

This week is a little less boring with some boring stuff. Sorry, that's part of me being dedicated to also just getting anything in the store, maybe one day eating them all.

Wylen's Island Punch Fruity Red Punch

I got to say the flavor... "red" is surprisingly uninteresting. And I LOVE fakey sweet flavours but no, just red punch taste is boring to me.

Fanta Pineapple

If you get it fresh, pineapple is a top tier fruit but I like it less when the tartness is gone and all that's left is the sweetness. I like that flavor OK in a pina colada but the fact is pineapple flavoured things aren't that interesting all by itself and this is no exception.

Kool-Aid Popping Candy

I didn't even remember to take a picture of the story book and games. I didn't even notice the story book. It's probably about how Mr. Kool-Aid Man lost his Christmas wishes to some old man on a mountain who has yet to learn the true meaning of flavour.
Speaking of, its just pop rocks except with kool-aid dust in it. Which actually tastes good at first but it disappears fast, leaving only pop rock sweetness, which I find boring and cloying.

Yo-Yo Mania Sour Apple

Like before, the flavour is actually legit good but it doesn't last long. The gum looks like misshapen rocks so your best bet to keep flavour up is to add a new one every few minutes. But I'd rather gum with staying power.

Lay's Stax Mesquite Barbecue

I was wondering if "is this any different from regular barbecue". If it is, it's still a boring-ass BBQ flavour, sadly.

Kit Kat Chunky Popcorn

I already like Kit Kats so I knew I would be fine but I really didn't think the layer of popcorn would... be an actual sort of popcorn layer. It was condensed to prevent fall-apart to be sure but this was actually pretty darn good. Not super-novel but I really liked it.

Orange Crush Dessert Topper

I didn't care for the Dr. Pepper topper but was never a big Pepper fan. I was always an orange pop boy and I was excited but this is anything cloyingly sweet corn syrup mess and it's now awful but not something to get excited about. But I did mix it with my Dr. Pepper on my ice cream and it was interesting at least. But it's all more "decadent" than actually "yummy". I might try it again on cake; I've been using these on ice cream and maybe cake is the preferred medium for this ooze.

Mexican Hot Chocolate Cotton Candy

Best food of the week. It's cotton candy that tastes like Mexican hot chocolate. I assumed that meant a richer hot chocolate if it's anything like Spanish got chocolate. And maybe that's true. I didn't clue into the peppers on the tub. So it's actually a spicy cotton candy. It doesn't completely change the cotton candy game, it's still that weird sensation like you are eating insulation that melts into sugar with a unique flavor but it was better than I expected and that counts for a lot.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

This week...

You Hold the Key to My Heart

Its a leftover Valentine's treat which is just a big key of milk chocolate and feels like they were thinking "maybe we can also use the mold for Ben Franklin's Birthday.

Twix Salted Caramel

It's like a Twix but saltier. Not a complaint, it still tastes good. The problem while I admit salted caramel can by good, I'm kind of tired of it. Still, it's fine and a decent if not exciting Twix variant.

Pringles Buffalo Ranch

I wasn't thrilled by the prospect because "Buffalo" sauce flavouring isn't my jam (at least in stuff like Hanover pretzels). Not bad, but I dunno, doesn't speak to me. But this barely has any flavour that makes it stand out from the other generic savoury chips. Happy to eat it but will never be my first choice.

Colony Uva Grape Soda

Again, a "flavour never spoke to me" starter as grape soda is not my thing BUT I liked this much more than expected. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's slightly less sweet or the sweetness isn't so fakey (even if they call it artificial flavour). If I see this around, this is one I'll be happy to pick up!

A&W Root Beer Float Dessert Topper

I'm surprised of the dessert toppers that I like this one best. I really love root beer but a lot of it comes from the frosted mug experience and the flavour on it's own doesn't mean a lot to me. And that's what this is but I got a lot more out of it than even the orange one, based on my favourite drinks. The flavour is the one that feels more true and pronounced to me and works with the ice cream. Next time, I'll return to these dessert toppers with a cake of sometime but until then, I probably won't return to any frequently, save maybe the Root Beer.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I liked doing previews before in case of recommendations for enjoyment but I often forget.

Anyway...

Andy Capp's Ranch Fries

Yes, THAT Andy Capp, the "wife-beating drunk" from British comic strips. As a kid, I always found it to be a bummer, even after the domestic violence ended. It always felt like a window into a world I never wanted any part of, which is, granted, partially classicist of me but the world of pubs and bickering households always felt like a bringdown. Also, I haven't read a TON of Andy Capp but... is he known for his great taste? I feel like the pubs he goes to are local dives that serve the most generic food. They might have ranch fries but I can't imagine them being good.

Boooom Comme Vampire

Finally, a gum for vampires. I'm expecting a coppery taste.

Yo-Yo Mania Strawberry Spin

The last of the chewing gum flavours contained in a yo-yo. I know have three unusable yo-yos.

Ummm... Chocolate with Cinnamon Hearts Embedded In Them?

Pretty much. The store put the Valentine stuff on sale.

Pure Kick Hydration Drink Mix Citrus

The graphics have the correct Gatorade energy but also a touch of energy drink.

Tahitian Treat Fruit Punch

I feel like I've heard of this brand but it's not common to my region of Canada.

Warheads Watermelon Cotton Candy

\
Is watermelon known for being sour?

 

[jpfriction]

I remember tahitian treat. Much better than Hawaiian punch (sure, whatever).

Subject of the most random adlib from one of my buddies in high school:

Brian: Oh Taitian Treat, I love that stuff but they only sell it at the elroy (gas station in Motley, tiny town seven miles down the road). You know a few weeks ago I had such a bad craving for that stuff but nobody would give me a ride so I just ran all the way to Motley. Didn’t think I could run that far but that sweet sweet fruit punch kept me going.

Me, a naive fool: Wow, really?

Brian: No, why in god’s name would you believe that story?

 

[Falselogic]

I have indigestion just reading this thread.

 

[JBear]

You neglected to mention the Rocky Road Smores in the first picture, which is the item most of interest to certain interested parties.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Darn. Yeah.
Rocky Road Smore

 

[Phantoon]

Andy Capp's Ranch Fries

Yes, THAT Andy Capp, the "wife-beating drunk" from British comic strips. As a kid, I always found it to be a bummer, even after the domestic violence ended. It always felt like a window into a world I never wanted any part of, which is, granted, partially classicist of me but the world of pubs and bickering households always felt like a bringdown. Also, I haven't read a TON of Andy Capp but... is he known for his great taste? I feel like the pubs he goes to are local dives that serve the most generic food. They might have ranch fries but I can't imagine them being good.

As a Britishman I am hugely puzzled by this. One, I don't recall the last time I saw Andy Capp, so why does he have merchandise?
Two, Andy Capp would have no idea what ranch dressing is, and he wouldn't call them fries.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Andy Capp's Ranch Fries

Yes, THAT Andy Capp, the "wife-beating drunk" from British comic strips. As a kid, I always found it to be a bummer, even after the domestic violence ended. It always felt like a window into a world I never wanted any part of, which is, granted, partially classicist of me but the world of pubs and bickering households always felt like a bringdown. Also, I haven't read a TON of Andy Capp but... is he known for his great taste? I feel like the pubs he goes to are local dives that serve the most generic food. They might have ranch fries but I can't imagine them being good.

Two, Andy Capp would have no idea what ranch dressing is, and he wouldn't call them fries.

This just makes this all the more confounding. As for the taste... it's fine? It's about the quality of a product from a pub that smells like cigarettes and sounds like deafening fruit machines so this is on brand. Or should I say, "on bland".

Boooom Comme Vampire

Finally, a gum for vampires. I'm expecting a coppery taste.

I assumed this would be filled with red goo but instead it was all crunchy. It was supposed to be fizzy but there wasn't a lot of that.

Yo-Yo Mania Strawberry Spin

The last of the chewing gum flavours contained in a yo-yo. I know have three unusable yo-yos.

The last one. Now I need something to do with these yo-yos.

Ummm... Chocolate with Cinnamon Hearts Embedded In Them?

Pretty much. The store put the Valentine stuff on sale.

Tastes as uninspired as it sounds.

Pure Kick Hydration Drink Mix Citrus

The graphics have the correct Gatorade energy but also a touch of energy drink.

It's not much different than the other powders sweet low cal no sugar drinks except... it tastes slightly medicine-y?

Tahitian Treat Fruit Punch

I feel like I've heard of this brand but it's not common to my region of Canada.

I didn't realize it was a soda, I thought it was just fruit punch... and I don't think I care for it. Not bad or anything, but I just would have preferred a non-fizzy punch.

Warheads Watermelon Cotton Candy

\
Is watermelon known for being sour?

It was OK, but I feel like for whatever reason, sour cotton candy doesn't work for me. And sour watermelon is a nonsense flavour.

Darn. Yeah.
Rocky Road Smore

This was not super amazing, it was just as nice marshmallowy chocolate bar with a big of graham cracker in it.

 

[Phantoon]

It's about the quality of a product from a pub that smells like cigarettes and sounds like deafening fruit machines so this is on brand. Or should I say, "on bland".

I think your view of the British pub experience is out of whack. They're like bars, but actually friendly

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I think your view of the British pub experience is out of whack. They're like bars, but actually friendly

Fair enough. I had a pleasant time a decade ago visiting them in the afternoon. And I also visited them as a child but while I'm sure they were friendly then, too, as a 6 year old I mostly remember the cigarette smoke and noise. But a hazy (no pun intended) memory of a boring pub when you wanted to go play somewhere is not the strongest case. Still, I always imagined whatever pub Andy went to had to be the worst of the worst. Andy isn't a guy looking for ambiance, he's looking to get plastered and for a place that will tolerate his shit.

As for this Saturday...

Fanta Shokata

Nope, I didn't put the can upside down, that's just what it looks like. The flavour is lemon and "elder flower", which I know very little about. Quite interested (and the flower seems perfect for the coming spring).

Sneaky Stardust - Sour Green Apple

It's a little jerry can of gum!

Bigs Buffalo Wing

I'll actually be eating these on my non-cheat day. Big and bold is a promise I have little faith in.

Andy Capp's Cheddar Fries

There's a surprising number of these Andy Capp snacks. This is probably the least adventurous flavour.
Weird fact., they made an Andy Capp live action series.

Starburst Fruit Punch Drink Mix

I do like Starburst, though I imagine this will just taste like normal fruit punch.

And now my biggest challenge...

Pray for me.

EDIT: I failed to upload the picture but I also have Twix cookies and cream. It's an obvious mix but it's all stuff I like, so I'm looking forward to it.

 

[Phantoon]

Pray for me.

I'd definitely eat that!

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I bought this before I remembered JBear was sick so I was going to get him to try some. See, he likes pickles but I don't (excite a bit as a topping. I will order pickles on a burger and take them out so I can have the residue). I like the flavour in small doses as a compliment but full on pickle taste is too strong for me. I might save some for him to try.

 

[jpfriction]

Those Andy Capp fries have been around forever, used to be one of my standards on my daily snack run back when I still had a metabolism. Must have been a cheap license and a just popular enough snack to keep it going long past the point anyone cares about the comic strip.

Like cocoa pebbles or flintstones vitamins which are going to be the only reason my kids recognize Fred Flintstone.

 

[Violentvixen]

The flavour is lemon and "elder flower", which I know very little about. Quite interested (and the flower seems perfect for the coming spring).

Oh man, I love elder flower, curious what you think of it, or if you can even taste it over the lemon. I'd say it's similar to chamomile tea but sweeter. On the rare occasions we're near an IKEA I usually pick up some of the syrup and then mix it with sparkling water at home.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Like cocoa pebbles or flintstones vitamins which are going to be the only reason my kids recognize Fred Flintstone.

Yeah, but even then The Flintstones, despite being a prime time sitcom, is aimed at viewers old and young (at least originally) while the demo for Capp feels like it is intended to be older. And I also feel like (and someone can tell me I'm wrong), the character is less in the public consciousness then Fred.

Also, Pebbles isn't regularly sold in this part of Canada anymore.

And Trix JUST came back after a long hiatus.

 

[jpfriction]

Oh it’s a baffling branding choice, no argument there. Like I said, they must have gotten the license for a song .

Looks like the fries have been around since the 70s and the comic strip since the 50s. They’ll outlive us all.

 

[Kirin]

Elderflower also shows up in mixed drinks sometimes, I think it’s in StGermaine liquor? Just kind of herbal mostly.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Elderflower also shows up in mixed drinks sometimes, I think it’s in StGermaine liquor? Just kind of herbal mostly.

I don't drink alcohol generally so St. Germaine doesn't help. Herbal will get me interested in a potentially interesting taste.

Oh it’s a baffling branding choice, no argument there. Like I said, they must have gotten the license for a song .

I feel like there are one or two similar characters who are still largely only known through marketing another product but I can't bring it to mind. I think Mountain Dew may have begun with some Lil Abner characters or something.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

Fanta Shokata

Nope, I didn't put the can upside down, that's just what it looks like. The flavour is lemon and "elder flower", which I know very little about. Quite interested (and the flower seems perfect for the coming spring).

This was GOOD. I don't know how to describe the elderflower flavour beyond sweet and light and of all the sodas I've had at the Candy Depot, this is the best Fanta. This gets a rare "Johnny Unusual Special Notice" *, a thing I just made up but will try to keep doing if I find something good enough.

Sneaky Stardust - Sour Green Apple

It's a little jerry can of gum!

So, it's described as gum powder but it's really gum shards in sour sugar powder and the sour sugar tastes bad when concentrated.

Bigs Buffalo Wing

I'll actually be eating these on my non-cheat day. Big and bold is a promise I have little faith in.

I can barely taste the wing flavour. Basically just got a bag of sunflower seeds slightly flavoured.

Andy Capp's Cheddar Fries

There's a surprising number of these Andy Capp snacks. This is probably the least adventurous flavour.
Weird fact., they made an Andy Capp live action series.

These were as bad as I would assume an Andy Capp flavour would be. I feel like the character would choose only the cheapest ingredients. It's not good. I'm going to eat more of these but save the Hot Fries for last, since that's the one people seem to like.

Starburst Fruit Punch Drink Mix

I do like Starburst, though I imagine this will just taste like normal fruit punch.

Kind of tastes like the candy and also therefore slightly waxy. Sounds unpleasant but it isn't but also not great either.

Not as bad as you might think but also I don't like pickles so I had no desire to eat anymore. It was more like "hmm, interesting." and then done.

And the cookies and cream Twix were serviceable but for some reason it doesn't work and I'm not sure why.