How do you find room for video games in your life as you get older?

[Alex]

In before "short answer: you don't"

As someone who is officially middle-aged, with a wife, children, and associated responsibilities thereof, I find it's hard to engage fully with this hobby that consumed my 20s and much of my 30s.

Money is certainly an object, but I've definitely accumulated a backlog through various impulse purchases and other means of obtaining access to software over the years, to the extent that I could theoretically never buy another game again and not run out of new things to play again for the rest of my life.

But more often, I find that when I settle in for some video game time at the end of the day, if I can focus on a game for any length of time I end up involuntarily falling asleep while playing. So I don't tend to play as many games as I have access to.

For me, personally, I've decided that trying to keep up with new releases and systems is simply not happening, which is liberating in its own way. I'm lucky enough to have a PS5, and if a game comes out that isn't available on that, I can just ignore it. I've also been thinking about letting my Playstation Plus subscription lapse altogether, because I think that I would spend less money on games I actively want to play rather than sorting through the dozen or so games that come in and out of that service on any given month.

 

[JBear]

I mean, this isn't a healthy answer, nor a recommended answer, but I feel like it's a common one nonetheless:
I forcibly make time by staying up too late and robbing myself of sufficient sleep. I'm constantly tired, but carving away some me-time every night is important enough for my mental well-being that I do it anyway.

Oh, and I comfort myself with the lie that I'll finally have time to play through my backlog when I retire.

ETA: And yeah, keeping up with the new hotness is absolutely impossible, and feels like it has been for years. Even if I decide to splurge and buy the big new game, everyone else has inevitably rinsed it and moved on long before I've progressed very far (and the fact that I take 4x as long as most folks to play any given game doesn't help), which just makes it frustrating to even try.

 

[Classic]

I mean, this isn't a healthy answer, nor a recommended answer, but I feel like it's a common one nonetheless:
I forcibly make time by staying up too late and robbing myself of sufficient sleep. I'm constantly tired, but carving away some me-time every night is important enough for my mental well-being that I do it anyway.

Oh, and I comfort myself with the lie that I'll finally have time to play through my backlog when I retire.

Part of the hobby for me has been taking steps to preserve the backlog against hardware failures. I managed to perform a (very minor) repair on my old Game Boy Color recently.

 

[Patrick]

I've talked about this elsewhere, but I've dealt with this by scaling way back. I play retro games these days, which are a much better fit for short amounts of free time.

I started with a hacked 3DS, which is nice for being official Nintendo hardware, but has issues with the screen resolution and slow OS. Next I hacked my Vita, which had better screens and controls, but I disliked the bubble menu and retroarch. Finally I bought a Brick - a Game Boy shaped emulator machine with MinUI as the OS. It's basically perfect for PS1 and earlier games.

My time playing Switch and PS4 has dwindled to nothing. Maybe I'll pick modern games back up when Henry is older, but for now I am catching up on all of the older stuff that I missed out on when I was younger. It works very well for playing on the train and on lunch breaks at work, plus occasionally in the evening or when Henry is napping. And older games and handheld games are just a better fit for bite-sized gaming times.

 

[zonetrope]

I don't, honestly. Having a kid has meant removing at least one major hobby from my life, and unfortunately that hobby ended up being video games. On the other hand, my son loves watching my wife play Pikmin 4 and Kirby: The Forgotten Land, so I could see games working their way back into my life as he gets older.

 

[MetManMas]

I still play games fairly regularly since as a caregiver, I have a job where (outside of emergencies) I generally have a lot of free time on my hands. Cook, clean, vacuum, sweep, mop, help my dad indoors and outdoors as needed, be prepared to act on a moment's notice if there's a spill or a fall, that sort of thing. Work as I go, work as necessary.

With that said though, as I get older and as games get easier to acquire I find I don't just have the focus I did when I was younger. Where I originally tore through Final Fantasy VII in a week, I find it harder to commit to finishing one Final Fantasy nowadays, and not just the newer ones. Sometimes when I could be playing a game I opt to browse the Internet or watch a streaming show or take a nap instead. And while there's no shortage of new things I'd like to play the backlog keeps on growing.

 

[Kazin]

The only reason I have room for video games in my life is because I have a consistent work time (9 to 5 on weekdays) and a wife with a similar schedule, and no children. I have no idea how anyone with kids are able to do anything besides raise their kids outside work hours, at least until the kids are old enough to largely take care of themselves.

 

[Mogri]

I mean, this isn't a healthy answer, nor a recommended answer, but I feel like it's a common one nonetheless:
I forcibly make time by staying up too late and robbing myself of sufficient sleep. I'm constantly tired, but carving away some me-time every night is important enough for my mental well-being that I do it anyway.

I come at it from the other angle: get to bed around 11:30, find myself unable to sleep around 2, and figure I might as well be playing Monster Train 2 if I'm not sleeping anyway.

 

[Johnny Unusual]

I try to give myself around an hour for gaming, some time for light reading, a small work out and end the evening watching (and sometimes sleeping) through a movie. On a weekday.

 

[jpfriction]

Kids go to bed at 9, I go to bed at 11. That’s my vidjamagame time.

Or I guess “spending a quiet hour with my wife” time, but who are we kidding. She’s got baldur’s gate to play.

I do miss wasting most of a weekend playing a new game. I took a couple of vacation days when Elden Ring came out and just vegged out while the kids were at school, that was a good time.

I am blessed to have a work from home job for the most part so I can walk the dogs and exercise during the day. I’d imagine those would be the first sacrifices if I had to start going into an office every day.

 

[Violentvixen]

For me, I have more control of my time than I ever did before and absolutely play more games as an adult than I did as a kid. My childhood wasn't super consistent but a very stringent rule for most of it was no video games on weekdays and even on weekends playing more than an hour in a sitting was rare. We were constantly traveling, I was in lots of after school stuff and I know now that I had a learning disability that made homework and studying far, far longer for me than others. Through high school I only slept four hours a night because there was always something to do and I was so stressed. In college I was taking extra credits due to how my scholarship worked, working three part time jobs to fill in the gaps and on the fencing team. I slept in two shifts of 2-2.5 hours each, my schedule was completely regimented and I had pages of color coded printouts for how to get through each week. Grad school was just insane.

But throughout all these I think I just made a point of picking one game to focus on or a specific way to play for a while. Secret of Mana is a great example, because I wasn't allowed to play in sessions long enough to progress the story very often I think it took me two years to beat that game. The Dreamcast came with me to school my senior year. In college we played a few things in the dorm and apartment. In grad school playing Animal Crossing right before bed, even only for five minutes, became a ritual.

All that to say the fact that I can just come home and decide what to do with my evening is still fucking wild to me. Cooking food, studying Japanese, reading a book, go for a hike, playing a game, I get to pick. Do I feel guilty when I play a game sometimes? Yeah, and sometimes I stop to do something else, but sometimes I remind myself I need a break.

Also I have no games on my phone and basically no social media. Looking at my app history I spend 7-20 minutes a day on Instagram every day total throughout the day. I'm in this community but will skip a day of social media if I really want to play games or read a book and I'm on here much, much less than others.

The volume of games now is also wild. I used to get maybe 2-4 games a year? Now there's so many options on Steam and Gamepass and whatever. I'm a lot more ruthless about quitting a game if I'm not enjoying it.

 

[lincolnic]

The only reason I have room for video games in my life is because I have a consistent work time (9 to 5 on weekdays) and a wife partner with a similar schedule, and no children.

I have no games on my phone and basically no social media.

These are most of the situation for me, but there's another factor: most of my friends don't live here anymore. My best friend still lives just a few blocks away, but almost everybody that I used to hang out with in person moved to other states over the past decade or so. I'm not isolated or anything, between texts and Discord I talk to many of them daily, I just don't have a lot of opportunity for in-person socializing these days.

It also helps that I'm not super interested in a lot of games, which lets me really focus on whatever game I decide I do want to play at the moment. And my girlfriend usually enjoys watching most things I'm playing, so it still feels like something we're doing together even if I'm the one holding the controller (she knits next to me on the couch).

 

[ThornGhost]

It really does help to know what you're looking for out of video games. For me personally, I want to have some quiet time for my brain to focus on something else besides my daily life. RPGs work well for that because there's just enough story and strategic decisions to keep me engaged if not overwhelmed.

I'm definitely "when my kid is asleep" kind of gamer because I can't get into that zoned out state when she's around and could need me at any time.

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

And yeah, keeping up with the new hotness is absolutely impossible, and feels like it has been for years

I just watched a friend via twitch play through Death Stranding 2. Turning that game into a passive experience, vs one I have to actively play. Doing that meant I could experience the game more on my own time, while doing other things like at work or doing chores, etc. It's not the same as playing a game yourself, but I also was never going to have the time and capacity to play it by myself, and it also added something new to the experience, of sharing the experience with a friend. Kinda like a technological remote way of doing what we used to do with kids.

 

[Falselogic]

As someone who works from home, is salaried, and overworks, if I am playing a game, I'm carving time out of 9 to 5 when the kids are at school/daycare and the partner is working. It is the most ideal time for me to do any. I realize that this is not normal and really a privilege but it is how I've been able to get any consistent game time in.

 

[LBD_Nytetrayn]

In before "short answer: you don't"

Dammit.

Okay, look, I tried to find a more tailored version of this gif before coming in here and had to settle, so I'm damn well going to use it:

In all seriousness, though, part of it helps if it's your job. Probably not too useful, but maybe...

Most of my game playing time is for work. A little bit is for Animal Crossing until I get that damn Lucky Cat, and if I've seen Gulliver come by, then I'm out until Saturday as a rule. And then there's a tiny bit of mobile gaming at night.

But...

Probably most of my "me" gaming time, so to speak, is when I'm doing a stream. Nadia and I do one every two weeks, give or take (as that's about as frequently as she can handle, at least with our old and worn-out sofa), and stream for about an hour and a half.

Maybe just setting aside that block of time for something where you are, for lack of a better term, responsible for showing up would help? Just a thought.

For me, personally, I've decided that trying to keep up with new releases and systems is simply not happening, which is liberating in its own way.

Oh, I gave up on playing everything long ago. Definitely pick and choose, over here.

 

[Beowulf]

From the parenting front: You get more time back for yourself as they get older, and you also can play games together. (And they jump from needing unequal co-op play to beating you at their favorite games very quickly.) In that time, I've found I'm playing more casual games (where you can play in 10-15 minute increments and stop very quickly) and shorter games overall. in my 20s, I played plenty of 40-60 hour games. Now I tend to want a 10-20 hours experience that I'll actually finish before I forget the opening scenes.

I gave up on the "keeping up with new releases" long ago, but then again, I've always had the five-game rule for new systems, so it's been very rare that I was going to be the first in line to upgrade to anything. At this rate, it's more likely my son will drive the decision to buy a Switch 2 more than I will.

And I'm addicted to retro handhelds, of course, which are great for playing SNES games instead of fiddling with my phone and I highly recommend.

But all of that said, you can still play plenty of games as an adult. You just need to be choosier about your time.

 

[Baudshaw]

I have to wonder if I'll even have time for this forum, let alone video games, when I go to college

 

[Olli]

Being an adult in a mostly-WFH desk job means that I need to schedule regular exercise so my body doesn't completely fall apart. This takes a surprising amount of time. I think I generally average about 2-4 hours of video game time per week, if you discount some mobile puzzle games I play while waiting for other things.

And yeah, not having to keep up with things is definitely liberating. Yeah, I could probably scrounge together enough money to get a PC that can play the latest $game at 80hz on a 4k display, but... I'm glad I don't need to.

 

[lincolnic]

I have to wonder if I'll even have time for this forum, let alone video games, when I go to college

Video games definitely took a massive backseat for me during college - not having access to a TV made it mostly impossible, and Steam didn't exist yet. But I was mostly too busy with my actual schoolwork and hanging out with people to notice anyway. Games will still exist once you finish school, if you decide you're still interested.

 

[Beowulf]

Video games definitely took a massive backseat for me during college - not having access to a TV made it mostly impossible, and Steam didn't exist yet. But I was mostly too busy with my actual schoolwork and hanging out with people to notice anyway. Games will still exist once you finish school, if you decide you're still interested.

Meanwhile, I...probably played too many video games during college. (I brought a TV and also discovered emulators and had unrestricted access to my own state-of-the-art PC for the first time.) I probably should have played fewer video games and spent more time on schoolwork, in retrospect.

 

[Violentvixen]

I have to wonder if I'll even have time for this forum, let alone video games, when I go to college

Video games definitely took a massive backseat for me during college - not having access to a TV made it mostly impossible, and Steam didn't exist yet. But I was mostly too busy with my actual schoolwork and hanging out with people to notice anyway. Games will still exist once you finish school, if you decide you're still interested.

Meanwhile, I...probably played too many video games during college. (I brought a TV and also discovered emulators and had unrestricted access to my own state-of-the-art PC for the first time.) I probably should have played fewer video games and spent more time on schoolwork, in retrospect.

Yep, I also had no console/TV in the dorms and I made a point not to bring any handheld systems to distract me. There was a lot of social gaming in the dorm, some people did bring TVs and played Smash. Also the Sims got weirdly popular and the people with computers powerful enough to play it were remaking everyone in the dorm. My high school was tough and I don't think college was ultimately more difficult but very different structure.

Senior year when I was in an apartment with friends and became video game editor of the campus paper and got to play/review games and get paid, that was great. Still only one game a month and it was always tough to fit in. I admit I cheated and looked up other people's reviews a couple times when I hadn't played enough of/finished a game because I had too much other stuff going on, so I guess even then gaming was limited.

Then grad school took what I thought was "busy" in college and doubled the work and responsibility. I bought a 360 when it came out a few months before my Qualifying Exams, made sure it worked then put it back in the box until I passed. Even then it was only a social/Halo machine.

 

[Kazin]

I played a shit ton of games while in college. But then I didn't have too many IRL friends at school, and my girlfriend was long distance. Being a loser is great for gaming time! lmao

 

[4-So]

I don't feel like I've sacrificed any gaming time as I've gotten older. In many ways, it feels like I have more time now. The lion's share of my free time is spent playing games and that's been the case since I was about 7 years old. Never been much of a movie person. I watched The Wolf of Wall Street and Gladiator 2 over the past week because I was on vacation and bored at night with nothing better to do. But I can count on one hand with fingers to spare how many movies I watch in a year. Television? Well, I watched all of Andor S2 and prior to that...Andor S1 back in 2022. I watch even less television than I do movies. I'd rather spend my time playing a game. Books? The last time I finished a book was probably a decade ago and I couldn't even tell you what it was. I spend a lot of time listening to music and while I do make it point to set aside time for active listening (depending on the artist and record), it's mostly passive - music in the car, music while working, etc. And where other folks are concerned, family and friends, I tend to keep my distance for no reason other than natural inclination. My friends know that phone calls, texts, emails, social media, DMs, are not the realms I inhabit. Tabletop gaming or other kinds of in-person games - perish the thought. For better or worse, I've always been a "no news is good news" person and I do a lot of living in my own head. If you want to talk to me or see me, you are the one reaching out to do so (outside of my wife and children, who conveniently live in my house.)

In terms of keeping up with games, with so much time invested you'd imagine I keep pace and you'd be mostly correct. Going through the gaming site rotation a few times a day is typical. Just looking for news and previews and the like. (I don't read reviews because the only reviews I trust are my own.) Twitch perusal to see what's new and interesting, or to just watch Arcus play through Ninja Gaiden one more time. YouTube videos for both news and takes.

"Keeping up" doesn't mean I play everything I want to, of course. There's no shortage of games (and movies, television, music, etc.) fighting over my limited free time. I made peace a long, long time ago that I would never get around to all of it and that I wasn't missing out. In fact, it's probably healthy not to jump on that treadmill. And I have long despised the idea of a backlog, as if entertainment should be belt-notched. There is no backlog. There are only games that I haven't played yet and might never play, and that's totally fine, especially considering that they keep making new ones that I might be more interested in. I have games sitting on my shelf right now that still have the cellophane on them from when I bought them years ago. Will I ever play them? Who knows! Maybe, maybe not. But clearly something else was more worthy of my time, hence the shelf, the cellophane. Being a "physical only" person probably helps- no desire to just click that shiny and easy "Purchase" button on any respective storefront. I imagine I could get myself into a bit of financial trouble if something like Steam was the only thing I had available. So easy to just press the button, no sweat equity involved.

Where the kids are concerned, even when my kids were younger I still had plenty of time to play. I'm a night owl by nature, rarely in bed before midnight. The kids were usually down for the count by 8 PM, which leaves plenty of time for games after they were in bed. I can see where folks with a more typical sleep schedule would be affected but that ain't me for better or worse. Now that my kids are older - one in college, two in H.S. - there's even more time to just play a game.

 

[Sarcasmorator]

For a few years, when the kids were young, I played a lot less (switched heavily to board games with family and friends, which we still do). But for the last few I've been playing a lot more. I prefer it to watching TV and such most of the time, so when there's free TV time that's what I'm doing, and if we're watching a show I'm not into I'll often be on a handheld so I'm not avoiding family time but still get some game time in.

But most days I play an hour or two, maybe more if there's something on handheld I'm playing. I tend to be kinda picky about what I'll play extensively. It has to be something good enough that it's worth playing over the course of months (I tend toward longer games). I TRY a lot of things, but usually pick one or two games per system (PS5, Steam Deck, Switch/2) to focus on and play whichever device is available when I get the urge, and do so until I either finish it or decide I don't want to, and move on, or get something "shinier" that knocks me off a playthrough. Happens a lot, I've learned to just roll with what my brain wants to play and not worry too much about it otherwise. I had a windfall this year with a work bonus and bought a bunch of things, and I need to remember to space those out, because if I get more than one thing I want at a time I can't play them all at once and it becomes harder to get to them all.

re: the falling asleep thing, I did the same thing for a bit. Hard time staying awake at night to play, some games would put me out. Turned out I had severe sleep apnea! Getting treatment for that helped a lot. For a few years I was falling asleep easily during movies and any game that wasn't super engaging. Some nights I still get sleepy and turn in early, but not all the time anymore.

 

[Violentvixen]

Oh, I guess that's worth pointing out too, we have an antenna to watch sports but I basically don't watch TV/movies. Occasionally Lumber watches something, or when my mom visits we steal her Netflix. But if the TV is on and not on a video game it's to watch Japanese language stuff or sports. And sports usually doesn't require my full attention.

 

[lincolnic]

Oh yeah, neither me nor my girlfriend are big TV people either. We'll watch something occasionally if it grabs us, but just as often it's an episode of How It's Made to wind down at the end of a day. We do both read a lot, though my book time is during my daily commute and before I fall asleep at night.

 

[Sarcasmorator]

I like watching shows and movies, but I don't really like to watch things alone; it feels like just sitting there instead of enjoying something with someone. So if it's just me I play a game, which feels participatory. Basically they're just lower-priority.

 

[4-So]

For me shows are too much of an investment. I have to really like the thing I'm watching and it has to be short. Even if a show is really good, if it has umpteen seasons, I'm out. Too much time. Movies are less of an investment but, same deal, I have to really like what I'm watching to sit through one. More often than not, I'll watch maybe half of it, get bored and look up the plot on Wikipedia, and then stop watching it.

I'd just rather play a game, where I can fool myself into thinking I'm doing something actionable, unlike a show or a movie, where I am passive and inert and letting someone else entertain me. Those latter things feel - well, not cheaper per se but certainly 'less than' in my mind.

 

[Beowulf]

I feel like watching a show vs. playing a game is very dependent on whether there's something else I want to do with my hands. If I want to do a jigsaw puzzle or do the ironing or grind Gems of War, I'll put on a show. If the only thing I'm doing is looking at the screen, I'll play a game.