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Gripe about What You're Playing 2: Bellyache-tric Boogaloo

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The first statue does give you a hint; actually; the first time you enter it the statue always moves, but you Won’t have the double jump at that time to make use of it.

Why the statue moves isn’t obvious, but you’ll know that it does
 

Peklo

Oh! Create!
(they/them, she/her)
I'm a little confused by which part of the clock room is the issue, since it has no less than six entrances, four of which are obstructed in some way. The upward shaft can be traversed by either the Power of Mist or the Soul of Bat, which is simple enough. The leftward passage to Olrox's Quarters opens and closes on its own at fairly regular intervals (communicated with the passing of time through the giant clock face), in the process cluing in that its rightward counterpart can probably also be moved through some means, and connecting the dots from there with the high emphasis on clockwork around the location is a pretty good themed puzzle, I think (there's a stopwatch just a few rooms over, so it's not a long search for the tool if needed, either). It's the most obscure function of the set, which is why it only houses the optional and half-gag Alucart gear. For the other progression-critical passage below, accessible by wearing the rings, you can see that there's a section of the floor that looks like it could open up, and when you do find the rings, the game just straight up tells you with their combined hint of "wear in clock tower" in their descriptions. The potential trip-up here is that you might go in the literal area called the Clock Tower, but exhausting possibilities there would eventually lead you to the most conspicuous clock in the castle before long, which is highlighted amply by it being the stage of the first meeting with Maria, and how you'll only hear the ticking of the clock absent of music while there, signaling that it holds something of importance.
 

FelixSH

(He/Him)
Ok, with all that knowledge I accept that this is my mistake. I didn't know that the rings have the description on them, telling you what to do with them (hadn't gotten them at the point of writing the post, but knew about it from memory).

The main problem I had was with the upper left way, where you might have to wait for some time, so another minute passes. I still think it isn't ideal - the first time I got there, I was focused on the cutscene, which seems to have make me not notice the moving statue. Maybe it would help to make this a room you might want to traverse more often, so that you get a chance at seeing the statue there at times, and not at others.

Dunno, having the statue move, when you get there the first time, should be enough, so I take the blame here. Thanks for the explanation, everyone.
 

Peklo

Oh! Create!
(they/them, she/her)
Some part of the myriad passages there did stymie me the first time through, but that was a feeling that in retrospect I appreciated and would go on to long for in the subsequent games in the same style, which had far less of such headscratching instances--Harmony being the lone exception and thus well loved by me on that basis.
 

Bongo

excused from moderation duty
(he/him)
Staff member
The rings, like so many other hidden things, are also a pop culture reference, specifically to Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
So the latest Humble Bundle has Command & Conquer Remastered in it. And you know, I never really played C&C back in the day, so let me do my best to use like, WarCraft 1 as a comparison point and give this a shot...

... and OK wow yeah it's total garbage turns out.

All buildings have to be touching other buildings, so no getting clever with base structuring AND no expansions.

If you make a second barracks, whatever, everything's still going to queue up to come out of that first barracks.

You kinda just get the one big worker, unless you build a second resource gathering return point building, but the resource fields don't really seem to have enough in them to justify that, at least unless you need more than one and are doing awful long-distance mining.

Units don't seem to have any sort of active-use abilities, nor is the ability to A-move a thing so far as I can tell.

So... there's basically no macro AND there's basically no micro.

Or at least, there WOULD be no micro if we didn't have REALLY bad unit AI where people will just stand there staring blankly while being shot in the head, and where you can have like a dozen units attack something and only 3 actually will because pathfinding around to where they're all in range is beyond them.

And then the 4th mission is this whole thing where the floor is lava and the enemies do extra damage to transports so you're just constantly loading/unloading incredibly unresponsive soldiers into and out of minivans and then at the end of this no-build mission there's a unit producing base in a valley so the profoundly bad pathfinding means you might get to the end without having lost a thing and still lose because your units just won't actually fight.
 

R.R. Bigman

Coolest Guy
I remembered that I had bought Star Fox 64 3D a couple months ago, and got around to playing it today. The on-rails sections are fine. It’s only when I get shifter to All Terrain Mode that my brain cannot track to targets are shooting me and the liabilities that are my team mates. The final boss (yes, I reached the final boss in under an hour) spends 95% of the time off screen. Why is there no lock on function, or readable radar? Come on, eleven-year-old remake of a twenty-five-year-old game!
 

Violentvixen

(She/Her)
Biomutant is just not working for me. It's mainly the combat, it's just not fun despite all the tweaking you can do. I'm stuck a boss that keeps annihilating me and extra annoyed that it keeps repeating the little boss intro every. damn. time. I liked the Attenborough-satire thing they had going on but now this has ruined it for me. And I've barely gotten anywhere in the game, ugh!

The other aspects of the game besides combat fine, but that's it. Everything seems like it needs a bit more polish. I have so many other games to play that are better than "fine" that it's hard to justify putting time into this one when I could be playing something I enjoy more.

I'm going to take one more intense look at my skills and stats and see if there's something I'm missing then give the boss one more shot but I think I may just move on.
 

ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry
Pac-Motos is a hateful game which exists solely to bring misery and despair to those who play it. If you're not squeegeed off the playfield by the final boss, your view is obstructed as it pelts you with explosive orbs, or a panel opens under your character, dropping him into oblivion. By the way, even if you somehow survive the Anti-Fun Equation that is this battle, there's a second phase, because clearly you haven't suffered enough.
 

Violentvixen

(She/Her)
I tried Bugsnax since I heard good things from a few people, but there must be some heavy nostalgia for 90s cartoony "do these minigames to collect shit" games.

I do not have this nostalgia and the whole premise is creepy so no thanks.

Edit: Revisiting this post later because I feel like such a cartoony game doesn't deserve such ire... but I really don't like it. It really grates on me although I can't quite put into words what the issue is.
 
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Sprite

(He/Him/His)
Biomutant is just not working for me. It's mainly the combat, it's just not fun despite all the tweaking you can do. I'm stuck a boss that keeps annihilating me and extra annoyed that it keeps repeating the little boss intro every. damn. time. I liked the Attenborough-satire thing they had going on but now this has ruined it for me. And I've barely gotten anywhere in the game, ugh! The other aspects of the game besides combat fine, but that's it. Everything seems like it needs a bit more polish. I have so many other games to play that are better than "fine" that it's hard to justify putting time into this one when I could be playing something I enjoy more. I'm going to take one more intense look at my skills and stats and see if there's something I'm missing then give the boss one more shot but I think I may just move on.
I was obsessed with this game in the lead-up to release and was going to use it as the game to christen my new gaming PC, but then it was universally panned as charming but dull. Heartbreaking.
 

Becksworth

Aging Hipster Dragon Dad
I love the graphical aesthetics of Anno Mutationem, but the main story pacing and side quest design is just weird.
 

Violentvixen

(She/Her)
I was obsessed with this game in the lead-up to release and was going to use it as the game to christen my new gaming PC, but then it was universally panned as charming but dull. Heartbreaking.
Yeah, I was really excited for it as well and was quite sad. Charming but dull is exactly it. I beat the boss but realized I just wasn't having enough fun to continue investing time into it.
 

ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry
I jumped into the Playstation 2 late, missing many of its launch titles. I was curious about The Bouncer and fired it up in an emulator, hoping that the reviewers of the time didn't give it a fair shake and that it was an underappreciated gem. No, the reviewers gave this game exactly what it deserved. It's one of those Square titles that's in love with its storytelling but isn't nearly as invested in its core gameplay. You beat up a few mooks with a frustratingly limited handful of attacks, get thrown into a character customization screen with power ups you can't afford, then get fed a heaping helping of the plot in action packed cut scenes, with familiar anime voice actors in desperate need of a paycheck. Steve Blum sounds as excited to be in this game as I am to play it.

I mean, it looks nice. The characters are trademark Square, although perhaps a little overdesigned. One guy is covered with tribal tattoos, while another has metal horns on his forehead along with a bunch of piercings. It's like Square wanted these brawlers to be edgier than the characters in their RPGs, but made them too fanciful and elaborate to take seriously as head busting thugs. That would be easy enough to forgive if the gameplay were entertaining, but it really isn't. You wallop enemies with showy punches and kicks that take too long to execute, then once everybody in the room is sucking concrete, the game hits the brakes and feeds you another cut scene. It's a game that's almost embarrassed to be a beat 'em up, which is understandable as so many other Playstation 2 games are so much better at it. Def Jam: Fight for New York, Urban Reign, Yakuza, even (heaven help me for saying so) God Hand provide greater depth and more impact than this. Even Beatdown: Fists of Vengeance at least tries to give the player more to do than just twiddle their thumbs through yet another cut scene.
 

Becksworth

Aging Hipster Dragon Dad
I love the graphical aesthetics of Anno Mutationem, but the main story pacing and side quest design is just weird.

Seriously, it feels like they had a cool idea for a cyberpunk action rpg were a nano virus forcibly turned a large part of the population into cyborgs, but then they got high and played Control and were like "DUDE!", then they got high again and binge watched Evangelion during their Mage: the Ascension tabletop rpg session and were like "DUDE!!!"
 
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Becksworth

Aging Hipster Dragon Dad
Speaking of Control inspired games, I've been playing Control on my Steamdeck, and I've made it to the panopticon, which is as far as I've ever gotten playing this...

...And this may be where I stop, because I've apparently hit some kind of glitch where a main quest line boss doesn't load up upon reaching their boss room. Restarting the game doesn't help, so I'm unsure if this is a corrupt save file, or something up with the Proton compatibility layer.

Edit: I found a bug reported nearly two years ago describing the exact I'm having, so it appears to be a lingering bug from launch. Also the whole Panopticon section is buggy as hell from the sound of it, and the best people can suggest is restart the whole chapter over and hope it works better this time, which sucks if you completed some sidequests between chapters. I'm probably just going to take a break at least for now.
 
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ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry
The arcade version of Contra has a metric buttload of slowdown. I don't blame M2 for that... they're probably just giving players EXACTLY what was available in arcades back in 1987. Still, it's pretty jarring. Arcades were designed to provide a superior gaming experience in the 1980s... they were like this industry's equivalent of movies, which is why it made so much sense for arcade games to be IN movie theaters. Still, there's a lot about the arcade version of Contra that feels like it was it was cleaned up on the NES. There's less slowdown (there would pretty much have to be...), and the characters aren't so weirdly lanky. In the arcade game, they look like Sly Stallone and Dolph Lundgren in the face, but from the neck down, they're Larry Bird and Wilt Chamberlain.
 
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Purple

(She/Her)
Nonograms Prophecy is... a bad Picross!

It was free in a recent deal, and it's Picross, on the Switch, so I'm playing the heck out of it in spite of these flaws, but they are really bad flaws.

First off, you know the thing a lot of these do where they grey out stuff as you get it fully filled in, like
screenshot01

This one will do that, but it does it badly. If you have like a column that's like, 1 1 2 1 1 1 and you have filled in the first and last 1, it will grey out the first two 1s. Fill in the 2 later? It might leave those greyed out, not making any sense. Or hey, maybe it will un-grey one, and then never get around to greying it out again, even when that whole row is perfect. Really throws you off something fierce. And I swear there's some where the outermost numbers get clipped off the screen, AND the shade of grey it uses for greyed out numbers is close enough to the background color that it's quite easy to say, fill in the top row all the way across, and then start mis-filling the second row because the top row indicators are now in visible.

But what really got me stomping over to this thread is that after a while you unlock a color mode. And hey, I enjoy color modes in my Picross, those are fun... except oh no now the grey-out indicators are bugging out even worse due to whatever coding error is at play there, AND the palettes are never like, here are several primary colors. They're "here's 3 different shades of grey or red or whatever" which... turn into different colors when greyed out. Sometimes these greyed out versions look like the non-grey versions of other colors you're using, or are darker, somehow.

And YES on top of all that it totally does the thing where you hit a point where there's a coin flip on which of two pairs of pixels you fill in in multiple places so you have to do a bunch of trial and error. And not even like "well it's clear what the picture is going for" no like literally guess which way this otherwise totally symetrical thing has some corner deco oriented. Argh.
 

Violentvixen

(She/Her)
Beasts of Maravilla Island is really lacking polish. Lots of framerate dips which should not happen on an Xbox with a game that looks like this one. It's colorful but the world doesn't have a ton of detail so it looks like a PS2 game. I wouldn't mind this if it ran smoothly but again, there's no reason an Xbox should struggle here.

I've beaten the first area and was shocked to discover nothing happens with the photos you take? You just move on? I expected some rating system, the main character to review them or something, anything. There's a checklist of behaviours in a journal but it's not terribly interesting.

Also there was this absolutely awful whistling puzzle where you have to match the musical pattern of some creatures. It's not at all clear when the pattern begins and ends, and your character's whistle is so different from the animal sounds I had no idea if I was doing the right thing at all. Made me quit the game for days and finally gave it to my husband to help me solve.

This was on Gamepass so can't complain too much, but I was really excited for a relaxing photography game since I liked New Pokemon Snap so much. It doesn't seem like this is a photography game and the little frustrations are piling up so I'm not very relaxed. I want to see the second area so I'll play at least a little more as there are some cute creature designs in here but dunno if I'm finishing it.
 

FelixSH

(He/Him)
This is not about Inscryption being bad (because it is really, really good), just me being a bit frustrated with what happened.

I found an easy way to make my deck super overpowered. What I did was to make the Stout (is that it's name? The first talking card you get) super powerful, by always using him at campfires. Which lead to him with health of 9 and power of 8, something like that. If I drew him, it was an instant win, because he still only cost one blood, which is easy with the bunny you draw at the start. If he wasn't in my starting hand, I would soon draw one of my two Magpies, which made it easy to get him. He also got the flying power near the end, which lets him attack the other player directly.

Also, despite having no ring(what ring? don't tell me), I got both boons for the final fight, and drawing two times is super powerful. Even the final boss was no problem at all. I also got the card, that started out weak, developed into a cocoon in the second round and then into a super powerful creature in the next. The whole final boss went down very easily.

Why am I am this thread then, you ask?

Because I didn't use the knife. Dunno, I wanted to wait until I would need something and had no other option, and that situation never came. So I have to win the game a second time. It could be much worse, the game is a lot of fun, but now that I beat it one time, I'm not as motivated anymore, and I wished I just had used the knife first.


Oh, well.
 

Violentvixen

(She/Her)
That... doesn't sound like the final boss. I'll leave it at that because if you are where I think you are the game is about to start blowing your mind.
 

JBear

Internet's foremost Bertolli cosplayer
(He/Him)
FWIW, Felix, I had similar problems (although very different mechanically-- there are a lot of ways to break the game in the player's favour, by design), winning on... my second run, I want to say? It's actually possible to win on your very first run, but the game clearly doesn't want you to, and tries to cheat in a very transparent and funny way if you progress further than it would like (it floods the enemy board with flying bears).

All of that said, VV is right: keep with it. And maybe focus on meta-progression as much as possible, if you feel as if you have the card game part figured out, lest you find yourself needing to do it a 3rd time. (Although, I have to say, I enjoyed every run.)
 

ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry
Really quite pissed off at the mille-feuille of layered menu options Street Fighter V forces you to wade through to get your fighting game fix. Snap! It! The! Hell! UP! Already! I don't need to press start, select a game mode, select the number of players, select a stage, select a character, select the CPU's character, select their wardrobes, select their preferred special moves, visit the travel agent, buy the ticket for a trip to Russia, go to the airport, get searched by the TSA, wait six hours in an uncomfortable seat to get to Moscow, leave the Moscow airport, take a taxi to the sports stadium, and THEN fight Zangief.

Here's a better path you can take... press start, pick guy, fight guy. See? Easy. You're not padding it out with prompts and advertisements and whatever else the hell you can throw at me to keep me from actually fighting the fighters in this fighting game.
 

Peklo

Oh! Create!
(they/them, she/her)
Those all sound like integral and fundamental parts of starting a basic match in any game in the genre. I'm not sure what the issue is.
 

ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry
I feel like the interface could be peppier, a bit more streamlined. I get that fighting games are more complex than they were in 1991, and it's nice to have customization options available, but there's much to be said for ease of use and expediency in actually getting the fight started. Arcade fighters typically had you drop in a quarter and sent you right to the arena, but here you're expected to pick through a lot of options, and sit through a lot of visual flourishes. The pacing is poor for a game like this. Everything feels longer than it needs to be.

Beyond that, I've gotten a lot of copyright agreements and dialog boxes and explanations for all the modes the game has available. This happens when you run it for the first time, and it's a lot to wade through.
 
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