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Eff It, I'm Going Through The Whole Zelda Series (And Then Some) Until I Get Bored (Now Reading: a bunch of pre-OoT manga)
Sarge
hardcore retro gamin'
Glad you ended up finding some enjoyment in Zoda's Revenge in the end. I do agree that the boss rush is a bit much. I remember smacking against that wall back in the day. I don't know which game I actually prefer, since despite the similarities they also play out quite differently. But I like them both, and would certainly welcome a revival of the property, or some sort of indie spiritual sequel.
RE: Zeldo's Adventore
Some of it might be because a half-assed Zelda 1 clone is more passable than a half-assed Zelda 2 clone?
Some of it might be because a half-assed Zelda 1 clone is more passable than a half-assed Zelda 2 clone?
Kzinssie
(she/her)
I mean, the thing about the Animation Magic games is that they aren't really Zelda 2 clones, they're just sidescrolling platformers with the Zelda branding - there's no low/high blocking or down/up thrust or even a magic meter. I really do just think it's that much of the reputation around the CD-i games is based on impressions divorced from actually playing them, and the Animation Magic games have the impression of "insane platformer with surreal nightmare cutscenes" and Zelda's Adventure has the impression of "decent mocapped adventure game".
Is that boss called Raeb?
No! It's called Susru...
Kzinssie
(she/her)
Tangential, but I actually managed to get in touch with one of the writers of the Zelda cartoon! I'll be doing a sort of retrospective on the "DiCverse" and some of my personal theories about its development once I've finished up Zelda's Adventure, so I'll save my theories about this info for then.
(yes bob forward talking about his boner completely unprompted was weird, no im not going to confront his sister about it)
(yes bob forward talking about his boner completely unprompted was weird, no im not going to confront his sister about it)
Violentvixen
(She/Her)
That is cool! And also weird.
Phantoon
I cuss you bad
That's very forward, Bob
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994): SHRINE OF ILLUSION
So like, this isn't a Zelda game. That's not a knock against it - it's just a statement of fact. What this is is a weird CD-ROM adventure game from 1994, and when you embrace that mindset you can start to enjoy it. A guide is basically required, especially with a buggy and crash-prone emulator, but once you have that you can start to drink in the weird atmosphere. This dungeon captures that best, being an evil abandoned carnival that alternates between canvas tents full of monsters, trap-filled "attractions", and mazes of false doors, and the atmosphere is top-notch - especially the out-of-tune calliope music that slowly gets more and more deranged the further into the dungeon you go (this video has all the versions of it playing in order). I'm actually surprised no canon Zelda game has gone for this dungeon skin to my knowledge - it would particularly fit right in with Majora's Mask, both aesthetically and with the N64's penchant for massive elaborate deathtraps that would work great as deadly carnival attractions. Oh, one other fun detail: this dungeon's miniboss is a delightfully unpleasant claymation Pols Voice that, true to the Zelda 1 manual, can only be defeated with the sound-based Noise spell:
So like, this isn't a Zelda game. That's not a knock against it - it's just a statement of fact. What this is is a weird CD-ROM adventure game from 1994, and when you embrace that mindset you can start to enjoy it. A guide is basically required, especially with a buggy and crash-prone emulator, but once you have that you can start to drink in the weird atmosphere. This dungeon captures that best, being an evil abandoned carnival that alternates between canvas tents full of monsters, trap-filled "attractions", and mazes of false doors, and the atmosphere is top-notch - especially the out-of-tune calliope music that slowly gets more and more deranged the further into the dungeon you go (this video has all the versions of it playing in order). I'm actually surprised no canon Zelda game has gone for this dungeon skin to my knowledge - it would particularly fit right in with Majora's Mask, both aesthetically and with the N64's penchant for massive elaborate deathtraps that would work great as deadly carnival attractions. Oh, one other fun detail: this dungeon's miniboss is a delightfully unpleasant claymation Pols Voice that, true to the Zelda 1 manual, can only be defeated with the sound-based Noise spell:
Did you see this? Your Twitter interview reached the wider internet!
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994): SHRINE OF AIR
The voice acting in this game is really something - big high school theater production energy. This is where the items clogging up your inventory get really weird, including a bottle of Zola repellent that stops Zolas from spawning entirely, a pair of golden boots that, according to the guide I'm using, do literally nothing but are placed directly in your path and have to be obtained, and a rug that, when equipped, prevents you from attacking but keeps you from being affected by ice physics. Speaking of: Ice physics! This dungeon has them. They're pretty bad. What's cool, though, is that it's not an ice dungeon - it's a shrine suspended in the air (you have to get a condor to carry you there), and it's made entirely out of crystal. It's actually a pretty cool aesthetic, and it makes sense it would have ice physics. The guide writer talked about this dungeon like it was really hard, but I didn't have too bad a time with it honestly. It's the kind of ice physics where your solution is "move as little as possible". Boss was annoying, but mostly because she needed to be hit with a spell fired from your sword/wand, and hitting her with the wand itself takes priority so she won't take any damage, and also she has a giant nonsense hurtbox where you sometimes hit her with your sword despite her being nowhere near you. Unrelatedly:
(shoutout to this game's surprisingly huge cult following btw, i did not expect this of all games to have one even though i totally get it. zelda + myst is a pretty cool idea even if this is a bad execution)
The voice acting in this game is really something - big high school theater production energy. This is where the items clogging up your inventory get really weird, including a bottle of Zola repellent that stops Zolas from spawning entirely, a pair of golden boots that, according to the guide I'm using, do literally nothing but are placed directly in your path and have to be obtained, and a rug that, when equipped, prevents you from attacking but keeps you from being affected by ice physics. Speaking of: Ice physics! This dungeon has them. They're pretty bad. What's cool, though, is that it's not an ice dungeon - it's a shrine suspended in the air (you have to get a condor to carry you there), and it's made entirely out of crystal. It's actually a pretty cool aesthetic, and it makes sense it would have ice physics. The guide writer talked about this dungeon like it was really hard, but I didn't have too bad a time with it honestly. It's the kind of ice physics where your solution is "move as little as possible". Boss was annoying, but mostly because she needed to be hit with a spell fired from your sword/wand, and hitting her with the wand itself takes priority so she won't take any damage, and also she has a giant nonsense hurtbox where you sometimes hit her with your sword despite her being nowhere near you. Unrelatedly:
(shoutout to this game's surprisingly huge cult following btw, i did not expect this of all games to have one even though i totally get it. zelda + myst is a pretty cool idea even if this is a bad execution)
muteKi
Geno Cidecity
I feel like I've never given this game the attention it apparently deserves. All this time I presumed it was just a really janky and kinda ugly top-down action game that's maybe the easiest of the CD-i games to appreciate as having Zelda heritage, but easily as a game to play was the worst of the 3 and had no redeeming qualities. Perhaps it's just the way that, as I like to say, the past is a foreign country with a non-extradition treaty, but these cutscenes are quite charming in that goofy low-budget way.
Kzinssie
(she/her)
I mean, it's definitely not what I'd call a good game, but it's consistently engaging in a way I didn't expect. It's definitely a tedious game at times, though, and more than a bit of a hard sell given how hard it is to emulate. I hope it gets the same remaster treatment as the Animation Magic games one of these days.
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994) - SHRINE OF DESTINY
After a brief hiatus to practice Wind Waker randomizer speedrunning and do some qualifier races (badly), I return with a bite-sized Zelda's Adventure update. The entrance to the fourth shrine is literally like 4 screens away from the third shrine, and it's a fairly boring shrine with mostly reused enemies and room gimmicks elevated by probably my favorite boss so far conceptually - Malmord, a grim reaper lady(!) who supposedly knows the path of destiny, and knows she will be your doom. Obviously you beat her, and while she just dies without a word because the game is unfinished, I already knew she had unused dialogue where she is shocked that you've managed to defeat fate. It's kinda generic, but her hammy delivery sells it. Also, I went into the boss fight with low health, and due to the emulator crashing when you die I can't just die and continue with full health, so I ended up reloading my savestate over and over again and memorizing her seemingly-random movement around the screen - it felt incredibly satisfying to finally take her down, and it's honestly a fitting way to defeat a boss with this conceptual gimmick. Malmord, I've come to bargain.
Also, according to the guide I used, the final room where you get the macguffin is broken - you can't exit the way you came, because they accidentally coded it so that it expects you to be exiting to the north (where there is no pathway) instead of the west. It doesn't matter because you grab the macguffin and get out, but it's still funny.
After a brief hiatus to practice Wind Waker randomizer speedrunning and do some qualifier races (badly), I return with a bite-sized Zelda's Adventure update. The entrance to the fourth shrine is literally like 4 screens away from the third shrine, and it's a fairly boring shrine with mostly reused enemies and room gimmicks elevated by probably my favorite boss so far conceptually - Malmord, a grim reaper lady(!) who supposedly knows the path of destiny, and knows she will be your doom. Obviously you beat her, and while she just dies without a word because the game is unfinished, I already knew she had unused dialogue where she is shocked that you've managed to defeat fate. It's kinda generic, but her hammy delivery sells it. Also, I went into the boss fight with low health, and due to the emulator crashing when you die I can't just die and continue with full health, so I ended up reloading my savestate over and over again and memorizing her seemingly-random movement around the screen - it felt incredibly satisfying to finally take her down, and it's honestly a fitting way to defeat a boss with this conceptual gimmick. Malmord, I've come to bargain.
Also, according to the guide I used, the final room where you get the macguffin is broken - you can't exit the way you came, because they accidentally coded it so that it expects you to be exiting to the north (where there is no pathway) instead of the west. It doesn't matter because you grab the macguffin and get out, but it's still funny.
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994) - PRE-SHRINE OF WATER
Yep, I'm finally back to this! Not too much done - as noted by me not actually including the dungeon itself in this post - but a good bit of gameplay and derusting on this game. That said, despite my long break, it felt very much like coming home - this stupid game immediately reminded me of its weird, janky charms as soon as I was wandering around hitting badly-compressed clay models with my sword-wand.
The bulk of this leg of the game is a completely linear jaunt through first a canyon, then a beach at the base of a cliff. It was a nice chance to get back into the swing of things, since none of the enemies were anything too tricky. There's also a brief side room where you can meet Shurmak, the magic woman who has been contacting you telepathically throughout the game, but she says nothing of consequence and gives you no items. Hooray? Also one of the rooms just has a dude napping in the corner. Completely uninteractible, serves no purpose at all, I thought he was dead for a second when I saw him. The other NPCs here also have this bizarre gimmick where, I guess they're supposed to speak a foreign language? They don't have an accent or anything, but they begin all their dialogue by saying "imsouree" and cap it off by speaking vaguely foreign-sounding gibberish. Weird. At the end of this segment you have to ride a raft to the island holding the Shrine, and... mwah. The raft follows a pre-drawn path that is weird as hell, with the raft jerking around the screen at bizarre angles to, I suppose, create some illusion of currents. The layering with the raft is also broken, causing parts of it to disappear if they're too close to Zelda's sprite. Partway through you fight a Loch Ness Monster type in what I assume is meant to be a miniboss, but it does nothing of consequence and goes down in like three hits. Perfect. Beautiful. I decided to start playing the game at like 3 AM, though, so I opted not to do the shrine itself tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow, hopefully!
Yep, I'm finally back to this! Not too much done - as noted by me not actually including the dungeon itself in this post - but a good bit of gameplay and derusting on this game. That said, despite my long break, it felt very much like coming home - this stupid game immediately reminded me of its weird, janky charms as soon as I was wandering around hitting badly-compressed clay models with my sword-wand.
The bulk of this leg of the game is a completely linear jaunt through first a canyon, then a beach at the base of a cliff. It was a nice chance to get back into the swing of things, since none of the enemies were anything too tricky. There's also a brief side room where you can meet Shurmak, the magic woman who has been contacting you telepathically throughout the game, but she says nothing of consequence and gives you no items. Hooray? Also one of the rooms just has a dude napping in the corner. Completely uninteractible, serves no purpose at all, I thought he was dead for a second when I saw him. The other NPCs here also have this bizarre gimmick where, I guess they're supposed to speak a foreign language? They don't have an accent or anything, but they begin all their dialogue by saying "imsouree" and cap it off by speaking vaguely foreign-sounding gibberish. Weird. At the end of this segment you have to ride a raft to the island holding the Shrine, and... mwah. The raft follows a pre-drawn path that is weird as hell, with the raft jerking around the screen at bizarre angles to, I suppose, create some illusion of currents. The layering with the raft is also broken, causing parts of it to disappear if they're too close to Zelda's sprite. Partway through you fight a Loch Ness Monster type in what I assume is meant to be a miniboss, but it does nothing of consequence and goes down in like three hits. Perfect. Beautiful. I decided to start playing the game at like 3 AM, though, so I opted not to do the shrine itself tonight. Stay tuned tomorrow, hopefully!
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994) - SHRINE OF WATER
Real life came up, but I'm back once again, and God, I love this stupid fucking game. This shrine is probably the most hilariously slapdash section yet, and I had a blast. It has a gimmick(?) where it's completely linear, but the map... lies? Like, it straight-up lies. It shows the layout as spidery, but that's actually because screen warps teleport you around it more or less at random (the dungeon maps in this game don't show room connections), and it's a straight shot from room to room until you reach the end, with the last few rooms being another janky scripted raft section similar to the one before reaching this dungeon. There are three minibosses here, called the North, South, and East Kelpies in their dialogue, located in the west, north, and south sections of the actual dungeon layout respectively (and in completely random places on the ingame map). The third one is completely optional, because it's during the scripted raft sequence - it doesn't stop the raft at all, you can just completely ignore it and sail right past. Agwanda, the boss of the dungeon, is a blob of water (like Morpha but less cool), who might have been difficult if the guide didn't inform me that she has a blind spot in the top-left of the room where you can spam the attack button and she barely hits you (apparently in the very corner of the room she straight-up can't hit you at all with any of her attacks, but this game doesn't let you turn without moving and I couldn't quite press down for few enough frames to stay out of range). I like how the majority of the bosses so far have been women, and I'm almost certain it's because whatever community theater they sourced their voice talent from just happened to have more women than men that could do spooky villain voices.
Real life came up, but I'm back once again, and God, I love this stupid fucking game. This shrine is probably the most hilariously slapdash section yet, and I had a blast. It has a gimmick(?) where it's completely linear, but the map... lies? Like, it straight-up lies. It shows the layout as spidery, but that's actually because screen warps teleport you around it more or less at random (the dungeon maps in this game don't show room connections), and it's a straight shot from room to room until you reach the end, with the last few rooms being another janky scripted raft section similar to the one before reaching this dungeon. There are three minibosses here, called the North, South, and East Kelpies in their dialogue, located in the west, north, and south sections of the actual dungeon layout respectively (and in completely random places on the ingame map). The third one is completely optional, because it's during the scripted raft sequence - it doesn't stop the raft at all, you can just completely ignore it and sail right past. Agwanda, the boss of the dungeon, is a blob of water (like Morpha but less cool), who might have been difficult if the guide didn't inform me that she has a blind spot in the top-left of the room where you can spam the attack button and she barely hits you (apparently in the very corner of the room she straight-up can't hit you at all with any of her attacks, but this game doesn't let you turn without moving and I couldn't quite press down for few enough frames to stay out of range). I like how the majority of the bosses so far have been women, and I'm almost certain it's because whatever community theater they sourced their voice talent from just happened to have more women than men that could do spooky villain voices.
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994) - SHRINE OF STRENGTH
This is... I don't want to say the "best" part of the game, but definitely the part where the creator's ambitions are most realized. The run up to the shrine is pretty uneventful aside from a couple of sidequests - getting a lump of coal I'll need later from a quarry, and getting a lance spell from a friendly goblin on the opposite end of the map from the shrine itself (this game's reputation for obtuse puzzles is something I'll come back to when I do my retrospective post on the game, but suffice to say this is definitely the most I've felt it). That brings us to the shrine itself, which is... a completely different sort of carnival from the Shrine of Illusion! This one has you buying ticket stubs to enter Test Your Might competitions against mounted knights, and it opens with a market stall where you can buy some mostly-useless trinkets and, in a cute touch, avoid pickpockets that dash around in set patterns and take 25 Rupees if they touch you. There's a good sense of atmosphere, with all the ticket stubs being sold by delightfully theatrical barkers who talk up the knight minibosses. There's also a very easy archery minigame in like the fifth room of the shrine, before any of the enemies, where you can earn up to 172 rupees (175 rupee reward, minus 3 for the 1-rupee arrows if you do it perfectly), and it resets if you leave the shrine and come back. Naturally, I ended my session with 999 Rupees. As for the boss, eh. I mentioned him before - this is Ursore, the boss that is aggressively just a talking bear. He's pretty underwhelming for how cool the shrine itself is, honestly.
One Celestial Sign left, and then it's off to fight Gannon! The end is close.
This is... I don't want to say the "best" part of the game, but definitely the part where the creator's ambitions are most realized. The run up to the shrine is pretty uneventful aside from a couple of sidequests - getting a lump of coal I'll need later from a quarry, and getting a lance spell from a friendly goblin on the opposite end of the map from the shrine itself (this game's reputation for obtuse puzzles is something I'll come back to when I do my retrospective post on the game, but suffice to say this is definitely the most I've felt it). That brings us to the shrine itself, which is... a completely different sort of carnival from the Shrine of Illusion! This one has you buying ticket stubs to enter Test Your Might competitions against mounted knights, and it opens with a market stall where you can buy some mostly-useless trinkets and, in a cute touch, avoid pickpockets that dash around in set patterns and take 25 Rupees if they touch you. There's a good sense of atmosphere, with all the ticket stubs being sold by delightfully theatrical barkers who talk up the knight minibosses. There's also a very easy archery minigame in like the fifth room of the shrine, before any of the enemies, where you can earn up to 172 rupees (175 rupee reward, minus 3 for the 1-rupee arrows if you do it perfectly), and it resets if you leave the shrine and come back. Naturally, I ended my session with 999 Rupees. As for the boss, eh. I mentioned him before - this is Ursore, the boss that is aggressively just a talking bear. He's pretty underwhelming for how cool the shrine itself is, honestly.
One Celestial Sign left, and then it's off to fight Gannon! The end is close.
I feel like there are still places you'll get run out of town for spelling it "Gannon".
Kzinssie
(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994) - SHRINE OF FIRE & GANNON'S GAUNTLET
The run up to the Shrine of Fire had my true victory over this game: finding the Food Dude easter egg!
For those who don't know, this easter egg references an unreleased game by the same studio, and went undiscovered for decades - it was finally found in 2020, after datamining revealed the sprite and voice clip and pure trial and error found how to access it (you have to equip the Diamond and hold the use button for around 5 seconds on this screen).
With the true game beaten it was onto the postgame, the final shrine. It was pretty uneventful - more or less a straight run through some caverns with a generic lava cave design, including a handful of "forge" rooms with stock photos of anvils scattered about. There was one room that inexplicably had circus monkeys for enemies, though - misplaced and intended for the Shrine of Illusion or Strength, perhaps? There was also a room with an enemy whose design I've already forgotten, who could only be damaged with the Gold Necklace I found in the Shrine of Strength. I have a policy of not using guides for final dungeons in puzzle-heavy games like this, so that took a bit of trial and error (thankfully, there is visual indication when you're using a weapon that can't damage something). The boss was a pretty forgettable dragon guy named Warbane, and much to my surprise, you're dropped straight into the final gauntlet afterwards, with no chance to leave! Thankfully, it was pretty easy - it's a boss rush, but none of the bosses have been upgraded and your attack increases with every shrine you clear, so only Agwanda and Warbane posed any real threat. Then it was on to the final battle with Gannon. Funny coincidence: his boss music is oddly reminiscent of the "Yuga, flawless, flawless Yuga" chorus from Link Between Worlds! He teleports around and fires waves of electric balls that feel... extremely inspired by Sonic 1's Final Zone. He would be tough, except he only ever fires downwards - staying on the top of the screen means you only have to avoid him actually teleporting on top of you. And with that... Zelda's Adventure is complete! The ending was aggressively present, but at least we got another look at the old wizard guy, who I recently found out was played by like a 20 year old wearing an old guy mask. Also, funny note: the antipiracy message is after the credits, and nowhere else in the entire game. Should probably let people know playing it illegally is a fine before they've put dozens of hours in!
I guess I should go ahead and give my final thoughts here too. It's easily the worst game I've played for this thread so far, but I still found myself enjoying it? The fact that I took about a month's hiatus in the middle of it might seem to suggest otherwise, but I was always going to do that at some point in this thread, and it's not really by any fault of this game. It's definitely in a tradition of 90s CD-ROM adventure games that I've only ever been vaguely aware of, and I get the sense that it's not a very good one of them, but I don't play those games often, so the weird visuals, low-budget voice acting, and strange design remained intriguing for me right up until the end. Speaking of, I should address the elephant in the room - the puzzles. I used a guide for the whole game, but I honestly don't think it would be that awful without one? Most of the puzzles just involve getting a key item at point A and bringing it to gate B, and the combat is mostly easy enough to make trial-and-erroring everywhere seem like it wouldn't be that bad. There's definitely a couple puzzles, like getting a lance spell at one end of the map to damage a boss at the other, but overall I'd say this aspect of the game's reputation is a bit overblown. I'm definitely glad I played it, though - and now it's on to a handful of spinoff manga before getting to one of the things I was most looking forward to for this thread: the Satellaview games!
The run up to the Shrine of Fire had my true victory over this game: finding the Food Dude easter egg!
For those who don't know, this easter egg references an unreleased game by the same studio, and went undiscovered for decades - it was finally found in 2020, after datamining revealed the sprite and voice clip and pure trial and error found how to access it (you have to equip the Diamond and hold the use button for around 5 seconds on this screen).
With the true game beaten it was onto the postgame, the final shrine. It was pretty uneventful - more or less a straight run through some caverns with a generic lava cave design, including a handful of "forge" rooms with stock photos of anvils scattered about. There was one room that inexplicably had circus monkeys for enemies, though - misplaced and intended for the Shrine of Illusion or Strength, perhaps? There was also a room with an enemy whose design I've already forgotten, who could only be damaged with the Gold Necklace I found in the Shrine of Strength. I have a policy of not using guides for final dungeons in puzzle-heavy games like this, so that took a bit of trial and error (thankfully, there is visual indication when you're using a weapon that can't damage something). The boss was a pretty forgettable dragon guy named Warbane, and much to my surprise, you're dropped straight into the final gauntlet afterwards, with no chance to leave! Thankfully, it was pretty easy - it's a boss rush, but none of the bosses have been upgraded and your attack increases with every shrine you clear, so only Agwanda and Warbane posed any real threat. Then it was on to the final battle with Gannon. Funny coincidence: his boss music is oddly reminiscent of the "Yuga, flawless, flawless Yuga" chorus from Link Between Worlds! He teleports around and fires waves of electric balls that feel... extremely inspired by Sonic 1's Final Zone. He would be tough, except he only ever fires downwards - staying on the top of the screen means you only have to avoid him actually teleporting on top of you. And with that... Zelda's Adventure is complete! The ending was aggressively present, but at least we got another look at the old wizard guy, who I recently found out was played by like a 20 year old wearing an old guy mask. Also, funny note: the antipiracy message is after the credits, and nowhere else in the entire game. Should probably let people know playing it illegally is a fine before they've put dozens of hours in!
I guess I should go ahead and give my final thoughts here too. It's easily the worst game I've played for this thread so far, but I still found myself enjoying it? The fact that I took about a month's hiatus in the middle of it might seem to suggest otherwise, but I was always going to do that at some point in this thread, and it's not really by any fault of this game. It's definitely in a tradition of 90s CD-ROM adventure games that I've only ever been vaguely aware of, and I get the sense that it's not a very good one of them, but I don't play those games often, so the weird visuals, low-budget voice acting, and strange design remained intriguing for me right up until the end. Speaking of, I should address the elephant in the room - the puzzles. I used a guide for the whole game, but I honestly don't think it would be that awful without one? Most of the puzzles just involve getting a key item at point A and bringing it to gate B, and the combat is mostly easy enough to make trial-and-erroring everywhere seem like it wouldn't be that bad. There's definitely a couple puzzles, like getting a lance spell at one end of the map to damage a boss at the other, but overall I'd say this aspect of the game's reputation is a bit overblown. I'm definitely glad I played it, though - and now it's on to a handful of spinoff manga before getting to one of the things I was most looking forward to for this thread: the Satellaview games!
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