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Eff It, I'm Going Through The Whole Zelda Series (And Then Some) Until I Get Bored (Now Playing: Zelda's Adventure)

Kzinssie

(she/her)
Yeah, it's definitely far worse than the Animation Magic games so far, but the cutscenes are less comically bad and it looks like it might be decent in screenshots so I can see how it built up a reputation as "the good one", mostly from people who never played it.
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
Glad you ended up finding some enjoyment in Zoda's Revenge in the end. I do agree that the boss rush is a bit much. I remember smacking against that wall back in the day. I don't know which game I actually prefer, since despite the similarities they also play out quite differently. But I like them both, and would certainly welcome a revival of the property, or some sort of indie spiritual sequel.
 

Mightyblue

aggro table, shmaggro table
(He/Him/His)
RE: Zeldo's Adventore

Some of it might be because a half-assed Zelda 1 clone is more passable than a half-assed Zelda 2 clone?
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
I mean, the thing about the Animation Magic games is that they aren't really Zelda 2 clones, they're just sidescrolling platformers with the Zelda branding - there's no low/high blocking or down/up thrust or even a magic meter. I really do just think it's that much of the reputation around the CD-i games is based on impressions divorced from actually playing them, and the Animation Magic games have the impression of "insane platformer with surreal nightmare cutscenes" and Zelda's Adventure has the impression of "decent mocapped adventure game".
 

RT-55J

definitely not a robot
(He/Him)
I still can't get over the fact that Tolemac is Camelot spelled backwards.
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
And the first boss is called Llort! I'm pretty sure later on there's a boss that's just a bear too. This game is insane
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
his name is Ursore

 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
Tangential, but I actually managed to get in touch with one of the writers of the Zelda cartoon! I'll be doing a sort of retrospective on the "DiCverse" and some of my personal theories about its development once I've finished up Zelda's Adventure, so I'll save my theories about this info for then.


(yes bob forward talking about his boner completely unprompted was weird, no im not going to confront his sister about it)
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
I watched the entire show and learning that the head writer was half-erect for much of the writing process is entirely unsurprising
 

Beowulf

Son of The Answer Man
(He/Him)
That is amazing. And for that matter, having grown up with a lot of media tie-in authors of that era, I can believe 100% of the anecdotes and also that Bob Forward would include a crack about his boner in an email to his sister.
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994): SHRINE OF ILLUSION

So like, this isn't a Zelda game. That's not a knock against it - it's just a statement of fact. What this is is a weird CD-ROM adventure game from 1994, and when you embrace that mindset you can start to enjoy it. A guide is basically required, especially with a buggy and crash-prone emulator, but once you have that you can start to drink in the weird atmosphere. This dungeon captures that best, being an evil abandoned carnival that alternates between canvas tents full of monsters, trap-filled "attractions", and mazes of false doors, and the atmosphere is top-notch - especially the out-of-tune calliope music that slowly gets more and more deranged the further into the dungeon you go (this video has all the versions of it playing in order). I'm actually surprised no canon Zelda game has gone for this dungeon skin to my knowledge - it would particularly fit right in with Majora's Mask, both aesthetically and with the N64's penchant for massive elaborate deathtraps that would work great as deadly carnival attractions. Oh, one other fun detail: this dungeon's miniboss is a delightfully unpleasant claymation Pols Voice that, true to the Zelda 1 manual, can only be defeated with the sound-based Noise spell:

 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
I did! It's wild to see, but I'm glad every site reporting on this is forced to accompany it with lesbian pride Medli and "hunted by bazinga, haunted by jumanji"
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994): SHRINE OF AIR

The voice acting in this game is really something - big high school theater production energy. This is where the items clogging up your inventory get really weird, including a bottle of Zola repellent that stops Zolas from spawning entirely, a pair of golden boots that, according to the guide I'm using, do literally nothing but are placed directly in your path and have to be obtained, and a rug that, when equipped, prevents you from attacking but keeps you from being affected by ice physics. Speaking of: Ice physics! This dungeon has them. They're pretty bad. What's cool, though, is that it's not an ice dungeon - it's a shrine suspended in the air (you have to get a condor to carry you there), and it's made entirely out of crystal. It's actually a pretty cool aesthetic, and it makes sense it would have ice physics. The guide writer talked about this dungeon like it was really hard, but I didn't have too bad a time with it honestly. It's the kind of ice physics where your solution is "move as little as possible". Boss was annoying, but mostly because she needed to be hit with a spell fired from your sword/wand, and hitting her with the wand itself takes priority so she won't take any damage, and also she has a giant nonsense hurtbox where you sometimes hit her with your sword despite her being nowhere near you. Unrelatedly:


(shoutout to this game's surprisingly huge cult following btw, i did not expect this of all games to have one even though i totally get it. zelda + myst is a pretty cool idea even if this is a bad execution)
 

muteKi

Women want fish fear meme
I feel like I've never given this game the attention it apparently deserves. All this time I presumed it was just a really janky and kinda ugly top-down action game that's maybe the easiest of the CD-i games to appreciate as having Zelda heritage, but easily as a game to play was the worst of the 3 and had no redeeming qualities. Perhaps it's just the way that, as I like to say, the past is a foreign country with a non-extradition treaty, but these cutscenes are quite charming in that goofy low-budget way.
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
I mean, it's definitely not what I'd call a good game, but it's consistently engaging in a way I didn't expect. It's definitely a tedious game at times, though, and more than a bit of a hard sell given how hard it is to emulate. I hope it gets the same remaster treatment as the Animation Magic games one of these days.
 

Kzinssie

(she/her)
ZELDA'S ADVENTURE (1994) - SHRINE OF DESTINY

After a brief hiatus to practice Wind Waker randomizer speedrunning and do some qualifier races (badly), I return with a bite-sized Zelda's Adventure update. The entrance to the fourth shrine is literally like 4 screens away from the third shrine, and it's a fairly boring shrine with mostly reused enemies and room gimmicks elevated by probably my favorite boss so far conceptually - Malmord, a grim reaper lady(!) who supposedly knows the path of destiny, and knows she will be your doom. Obviously you beat her, and while she just dies without a word because the game is unfinished, I already knew she had unused dialogue where she is shocked that you've managed to defeat fate. It's kinda generic, but her hammy delivery sells it. Also, I went into the boss fight with low health, and due to the emulator crashing when you die I can't just die and continue with full health, so I ended up reloading my savestate over and over again and memorizing her seemingly-random movement around the screen - it felt incredibly satisfying to finally take her down, and it's honestly a fitting way to defeat a boss with this conceptual gimmick. Malmord, I've come to bargain.

Also, according to the guide I used, the final room where you get the macguffin is broken - you can't exit the way you came, because they accidentally coded it so that it expects you to be exiting to the north (where there is no pathway) instead of the west. It doesn't matter because you grab the macguffin and get out, but it's still funny.
 
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