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ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry

Fuga: Melodies of Steel is the next Little Bronx Tales game, where a bunch of furry kids pilot a giant tank, blasting dog-Nazis and collecting supplies. If you don't like one of the cast members, just use him as ammo in the Soul Cannon, a super weapon that cuts through the Dober-mensch army like butter.
 

Purple

(She/Her)
Counterpoint:
tl;dw The adorable mascot critter purposely shoves himself into the refrigerator because prophecy bullshit says he has to die to the boss monster to make a MacGuffin appear.
4zRWfm.gif
 
Mobius Final Fantasy is a game where the main character is isekai'd into a recreation of FF1, where he's expected to play out the role of the Warrior of Light to defeat Chaos because that's what the game master says is supposed to happen. And he spends the entire game being a jaded asshole making smarmy comments about how stupid all of this is because FF1 has a bad story. The game tries to be like 5 levels of meta on top of itself.

Also I'm sure that video is a lil confusing when WoL is wearing Chaos cosmetics.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
While hardly a surprise in even the loosest sense of the term, the announcement I was more excited for yesterday was the confirmation that Outer Worlds 2 is in development.

They barely announced that it was in development, but still; I really liked that game and am excited to play more of it
 

Kirin

Summon for hire
(he/him)
Fuga: Melodies of Steel is the next Little Bronx Tales game, where a bunch of furry kids pilot a giant tank, blasting dog-Nazis and collecting supplies. If you don't like one of the cast members, just use him as ammo in the Soul Cannon, a super weapon that cuts through the Dober-mensch army like butter.

.... I just cannot with the fact that the special edition (a) lets you dress all the 10-year-old furry protagonists in swimsuits, and (b) gives you a fake soul so you can cheat the game's supposed big gut-wrenching choice without consequence.

The trailer in Japanese is still just as ridiculous, but a lot easier to listen to since the MC is being played by Kenjiro Tsuda

Yeah I probably won't ever play this but if I did it would have to be in Japanese because damn if Tsuda can't make anything sound good. I don't even so much mind the super stupid story stuff in English but I was extremely Done with the MC's eddddgy death quotes after, like, one of them.
 

Jeanie

(Fem or Gender Neutral)
If you had a release of Rondo of Blood for the TurboDuoCD on your 2021 E3 Bingo card, you are a dang liar.
 
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If you had a release of Rondo of Blood for the TurbographixCD on your 2021 E3 Bingo card, you are a dang liar.
Its been a pretty solid E3! A physical release of a 2018 game I already own might be my game of the show!

Maybe a bit of an exaggeration with Elden Ring. But this years E3 feels pretty weak.
 
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If you squint, 3 of my 5 intentionally funny / intentionally unlikely predictions have now come to pass, and I still think Bandai Namco could come through for number 1:

fun grab of decreasing likelihoods:
  • Tencent and/or Bandai Namco show off a new game whose description can be hastily reduced to "anime characters slapped over a recent popular AAA release" and you aren't sure whether to be excited or doubtful.
  • An unexpected, deluxe remaster of a 20+ year old Japanese game is announced (yes @Tegan basically beat me to it, but I'll take the other side of this bet)
  • A new character is added to the main cast of the Mario franchise, being roughly the same billing as Rosalina.
  • We learn "how many superhero games are too many?" when the final one announced at E3 jumps the shark.
  • Forspoken ("Project Athia") has a slick new trailer which ends by rebranding it to "Final Fantasy Versus XVI".
 

ArugulaZ

Fearful asymmetry
.... I just cannot with the fact that the special edition (a) lets you dress all the 10-year-old furry protagonists in swimsuits, and (b) gives you a fake soul so you can cheat the game's supposed big gut-wrenching choice without consequence.

If they're World War II era swimsuits as you might expect from the setting, it might not be that big a problem. If they're Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball swimsuits, well, uh...

The second thing sounds like a big cop out, regardless. "Pay ten dollars extra and we'll let you put Bubsy in the cannon instead!"
 

Gaer

chat.exe a cessé de fonctionner
Staff member
Moderator
Final Fantasy continues the streak of denying women existence. Glad the series has finally matured!
I was so honestly offended when I saw a single screen of that game. I thought it was a parody photoshop of some shootman game.

Christ as if Nomura could get any worse. Then he did!

I’m so grossed out by this.
 
I mean, it's a Team Ninja game. This was kind of always going to be its destiny. Not that that's an excuse, but the second it was first announced and we knew who was the developers, I knew it was going to be a waste of space.
 

Peklo

Oh! Create!
(they/them, she/her)
That's cynicism of a different kind which doesn't apply to what I'm actually frustrated by. Team Ninja's oeuvre, whatever else one can say about it, often features women prominently in main roles, whether it's the created character you can play as Nioh 2's protagonist, their contractual licensed work in various Musou-style games that have ensemble casts, or the one previous FF intersection in Dissidia NT. Dead or Alive alone features women more centrally than most other fighting games ever bother to, and that walks hand in hand with all the failures of that representation in how it's eternally exploited, but there comes a point that it becomes more wounding to just be treated invisibly. I can compartmentalize, rationalize and glean whatever meaning and merit out of flawed and frankly terrible media, and sometimes the bar really is so low that that is preferable to not existing at all; give me the chance to be disappointed or elated. Final Fantasy does a lot of bullshit I'm not fond of practically every game, but deeply entrenched exclusion is the avenue that fundamentally sets me on edge about what the innate character of a given project may be underneath it all.
 

RT-55J

space hero for hire
(He/Him + RT/artee)
My (very, very overly optimistic) brain thinks it would be neat if Jack the Chaos Killer leaves the party after you defeat Garland at the beginning of the game (because by killing Chaos he becomes Chaos (or something hokey like that)), and he is promptly replaced by Princess Sara or some other lady.

Granted, I don't think this'll happen.
 

Sarge

hardcore retro gamin'
If you had a release of Rondo of Blood for the TurboDuoCD on your 2021 E3 Bingo card, you are a dang liar.
In retrospect, it makes absolutely perfect sense. I mean, LRG reissued Shantae, why wouldn't other high-priced retro games be on the table? Come on, Little Samson and Panzer Dragoon Saga!
 

Exposition Owl

more posts about buildings and food
(he/him/his)
A 3D remaster of the first two Advance Wars games is coming to Switch in December! Didn't somebody have "more Advance Wars" on their prediction list?
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Weird that there’s a Legend of Zelda themed Game and Watch coming, and it has a Zelda themed Game and Watch release in it…

And it’s not Legend of Zelda
 

R.R. Bigman

Coolest Guy
Man, Majora’s Mask was made in a year and is still the most unique entry in the whole series. Botw 2 is coming out five years later and Link has a robot arm now and needs to rescue Zelda again from what looks like Ganon, who is apparently not Calamity Ganon from the first game?
 

Mightyblue

aggro table, shmaggro table
(He/Him/His)
Well, you could make the argument that we only killed the manifestation of evil, "Ganon", and now you have to kill the 'Dorf instead.
 
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