Wait, I thought it was supposed to be easy to be green. What else have I gotten wrong?!?
And speaking of things owned by the Walt Disney corporation, did you know that that incredible mouse, Mickey is among that number? It's true! And that brings us to the first game I'm yammering' on about this week; Epic Mickey: Rebrushed! An extesnively gussied up remake of the original Wii release wherein beloved rat-man mascot, Micheal is inadvertently hucked into the Disney Vault and has to platform his way through a whole bunch of levels worth of forgotten Disney characters, like Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and Clarabelle Cow.
I remember deeming it "neat, but kind of disappointing in a way I can't articulate" back int eh day, but opinion seems to have shifted to "Oh, this is pretty good!" for the remake. Good for Disney; they could use a win.
Speaking of themeparks designed to invoke an entire world, we have Beyond Galaxyland, a sci-fi pixel-y RPG where you're a guy who narrowly avoided Earths demolition and was thus relocated to the Dyson sphere relocation habitat for the last survivors of a destroyed planet; Galaxy Land. And also learns that being the refugee survivor of an annihilated planet forced to live in a gargantuan halfway house kiiiiinda sucks and may have to uncover a space conspiracy or two to improve things.
Sounds like things could stand to be improved, what with the annihilated planets and all.
Speaking of very large towns with a sinister, otherworldly secret, we also have Bloomtown, which opted for the very small town with a sinister otherworldly secret instead. Kind of looks like a mish-mash of Stranger Things and Gravity Falls. And I know what you're thinking; wouldn't a mish-mash of Stranger Things and Gravity Falls pretty much be Earthbound? And you'd be right to think that, but I don;t really get Earthbound vibes from the trailer, so perhaps not.
Truly there are stranger things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamed of in your hypothetical combination of similar media. Pretty sure William Shakespeare said that; that guy knew a thing or two about media crossovers.
Speaking of things very similar to beloved Nintendo properties; there's a new Legend of Zelda game this week. It's The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, and this one stars Zelda and relegates Link (the Green Zelda) to the status of "Macguffin that must be saved from peril". Truly this is the very definition of dramatic irony. And I stand by that by merit of not looking up or caring what the term means.
JUST COME AT ME, SEE HOW I REACT.
Anyway, Zelda must come to town to save the hero link BUT THIS TIME.... she can make doubles of things.
And speaking of new entries in a series I absolutely love with all my heart and soul and most of my better bones, we have Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2, the sequel to the original World Brothers which took the tried and true EXPLODE EVERY ALIEN gameplay of the main EDF games and gave everything a voxel makeover and made it intentionally goofy instead of stumbling into a perfect level of earnest silliness. It also let you field multiple characters at a time instead of just the one which does keep things feeling lively.
Anyway;
To save our mother Earth from any alien attack
From vicious giant insects who have once again come back
We'll unleash all our forces, we won't cut them any slack
The EDF deploys!
Our soldiers are prepared for any alien threats
The navy launches ships, the air force send their jets
And nothing can withstand our fixed bayonets
The EDF deploys!
Our forces have now dwindled and we pull back to regroup
The enemy has multiplied and formed a massive group
We better beat these bugs before we're all turned to soup
The EDF deploys!
Speaking of using a truly outrageous amount of bullets to persevere over the forces of giant bugs (THE EDF DEPLOYS), we have Iron Meat, which is a Contra-em-up starring a bunch of guys who don't like Gross Bio Horror Monsters and have the guns required to inform the bio horror monsters of their personal aesthetic preferences. It's from the same peeps as what made Prison City which was a *pretty darn good* take on Power Blade, but also the competition for Real Good Contras is also much fiercer than the competition for Real Good Power Bladeses.
Speaking of games that look like old games; a game that's actually an old game is Worms: Armageddon, which, like many people, I've played the absolute holy bajeezus out of back in the day and which I think I would still consider the Most Fun Multiplayer Game. This version seems to be pretty barebones of a re-release (which is more bones than most worms have, to be fair), but it DOES have a series retrospective, and is formatted for modern displays AND it includes the GBC port of Worms Armageddon which... uh... which is a weird bonus, but I ain't gonna scoff at it.
Anyway, explode a bunch of British annelids with some bazookas and Concrete Donkeys, it's okay, I won't judge ya none.
And lets go even farther back in time for retro re-releases; all the way back to the NES in fact! Does that mean it's time for another port of a forgotten Jaleco game? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS! It's Bio Warrior Dan: The Increaser War, which was never localized back in the day, so this whole pile of nonsense is BRAND NEW! From context clues, this here is a Troid-em-up where you're none other than Dan himself, who has travelled back in time to the distant past of 1999 in order to wipe out an entire species of rapidly evolving super monsters that kiiiiiiind of jack up the planet beyond habitation over the course of the next century. Besides things you'd expect from a retro re-release of this type, like a rewind and savestate option, we've also got some achievements and a replica instruction manual on top of the new localization.
It also includes liner notes for the keyboard in case you want to play the Bio Warrior Dan: The Increaser War soundtrack at home.
Speaking of fancy extensive re-releases of beloved, underappreciated classics, I... I really hope that can apply to the Night Slashers remake; Night Slashers Remake. I'm more skeptical about that than I would like, but, dammit, hope springs eternal. It is, as the title coyly suggests, a remake of Night Slashers a wild and rowdy 90s beat-em-up that was, quite probably, the best game in Data Easts catalog. And was only re-released as a pretty shoddy form in the Johnny Turbo line of arcade ports. But now it's back! And... kind of looking a bit worse than it did in the early-90s. And being released by Forever Entertainment, who have a reputation of sometimes patching a game enough to be, y'know, *fine* after a year or twos worth of updates. But it DOES include one of the characters from Fighters History as an extra playable character. That's... that's a weird inclusion, but okay.
Not Karnov, one of the other ones.
Astreas: Six Sided Oracles is a Slay the Spire, except it's dice instead of cards!
...well it IS!
And finally, we have Reynatis, which I THINK is a character action game (like your Bayonettas or Devils May Cry or the like), but I can't readily assume that based on the screenshots or description. But what I CAN tell you for certain si that you will witness the clash between wizards and the law in REYNATIS!
I can say that with certainty because that's what the eShop tells me.
Okay that's all, go to bed.
And speaking of things owned by the Walt Disney corporation, did you know that that incredible mouse, Mickey is among that number? It's true! And that brings us to the first game I'm yammering' on about this week; Epic Mickey: Rebrushed! An extesnively gussied up remake of the original Wii release wherein beloved rat-man mascot, Micheal is inadvertently hucked into the Disney Vault and has to platform his way through a whole bunch of levels worth of forgotten Disney characters, like Oswald the Lucky Rabbit and Clarabelle Cow.
I remember deeming it "neat, but kind of disappointing in a way I can't articulate" back int eh day, but opinion seems to have shifted to "Oh, this is pretty good!" for the remake. Good for Disney; they could use a win.
Speaking of themeparks designed to invoke an entire world, we have Beyond Galaxyland, a sci-fi pixel-y RPG where you're a guy who narrowly avoided Earths demolition and was thus relocated to the Dyson sphere relocation habitat for the last survivors of a destroyed planet; Galaxy Land. And also learns that being the refugee survivor of an annihilated planet forced to live in a gargantuan halfway house kiiiiinda sucks and may have to uncover a space conspiracy or two to improve things.
Sounds like things could stand to be improved, what with the annihilated planets and all.
Speaking of very large towns with a sinister, otherworldly secret, we also have Bloomtown, which opted for the very small town with a sinister otherworldly secret instead. Kind of looks like a mish-mash of Stranger Things and Gravity Falls. And I know what you're thinking; wouldn't a mish-mash of Stranger Things and Gravity Falls pretty much be Earthbound? And you'd be right to think that, but I don;t really get Earthbound vibes from the trailer, so perhaps not.
Truly there are stranger things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamed of in your hypothetical combination of similar media. Pretty sure William Shakespeare said that; that guy knew a thing or two about media crossovers.
Speaking of things very similar to beloved Nintendo properties; there's a new Legend of Zelda game this week. It's The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, and this one stars Zelda and relegates Link (the Green Zelda) to the status of "Macguffin that must be saved from peril". Truly this is the very definition of dramatic irony. And I stand by that by merit of not looking up or caring what the term means.
JUST COME AT ME, SEE HOW I REACT.
Anyway, Zelda must come to town to save the hero link BUT THIS TIME.... she can make doubles of things.
And speaking of new entries in a series I absolutely love with all my heart and soul and most of my better bones, we have Earth Defense Force: World Brothers 2, the sequel to the original World Brothers which took the tried and true EXPLODE EVERY ALIEN gameplay of the main EDF games and gave everything a voxel makeover and made it intentionally goofy instead of stumbling into a perfect level of earnest silliness. It also let you field multiple characters at a time instead of just the one which does keep things feeling lively.
Anyway;
To save our mother Earth from any alien attack
From vicious giant insects who have once again come back
We'll unleash all our forces, we won't cut them any slack
The EDF deploys!
Our soldiers are prepared for any alien threats
The navy launches ships, the air force send their jets
And nothing can withstand our fixed bayonets
The EDF deploys!
Our forces have now dwindled and we pull back to regroup
The enemy has multiplied and formed a massive group
We better beat these bugs before we're all turned to soup
The EDF deploys!
Speaking of using a truly outrageous amount of bullets to persevere over the forces of giant bugs (THE EDF DEPLOYS), we have Iron Meat, which is a Contra-em-up starring a bunch of guys who don't like Gross Bio Horror Monsters and have the guns required to inform the bio horror monsters of their personal aesthetic preferences. It's from the same peeps as what made Prison City which was a *pretty darn good* take on Power Blade, but also the competition for Real Good Contras is also much fiercer than the competition for Real Good Power Bladeses.
Speaking of games that look like old games; a game that's actually an old game is Worms: Armageddon, which, like many people, I've played the absolute holy bajeezus out of back in the day and which I think I would still consider the Most Fun Multiplayer Game. This version seems to be pretty barebones of a re-release (which is more bones than most worms have, to be fair), but it DOES have a series retrospective, and is formatted for modern displays AND it includes the GBC port of Worms Armageddon which... uh... which is a weird bonus, but I ain't gonna scoff at it.
Anyway, explode a bunch of British annelids with some bazookas and Concrete Donkeys, it's okay, I won't judge ya none.
And lets go even farther back in time for retro re-releases; all the way back to the NES in fact! Does that mean it's time for another port of a forgotten Jaleco game? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS! It's Bio Warrior Dan: The Increaser War, which was never localized back in the day, so this whole pile of nonsense is BRAND NEW! From context clues, this here is a Troid-em-up where you're none other than Dan himself, who has travelled back in time to the distant past of 1999 in order to wipe out an entire species of rapidly evolving super monsters that kiiiiiiind of jack up the planet beyond habitation over the course of the next century. Besides things you'd expect from a retro re-release of this type, like a rewind and savestate option, we've also got some achievements and a replica instruction manual on top of the new localization.
It also includes liner notes for the keyboard in case you want to play the Bio Warrior Dan: The Increaser War soundtrack at home.
Speaking of fancy extensive re-releases of beloved, underappreciated classics, I... I really hope that can apply to the Night Slashers remake; Night Slashers Remake. I'm more skeptical about that than I would like, but, dammit, hope springs eternal. It is, as the title coyly suggests, a remake of Night Slashers a wild and rowdy 90s beat-em-up that was, quite probably, the best game in Data Easts catalog. And was only re-released as a pretty shoddy form in the Johnny Turbo line of arcade ports. But now it's back! And... kind of looking a bit worse than it did in the early-90s. And being released by Forever Entertainment, who have a reputation of sometimes patching a game enough to be, y'know, *fine* after a year or twos worth of updates. But it DOES include one of the characters from Fighters History as an extra playable character. That's... that's a weird inclusion, but okay.
Not Karnov, one of the other ones.
Astreas: Six Sided Oracles is a Slay the Spire, except it's dice instead of cards!
...well it IS!
And finally, we have Reynatis, which I THINK is a character action game (like your Bayonettas or Devils May Cry or the like), but I can't readily assume that based on the screenshots or description. But what I CAN tell you for certain si that you will witness the clash between wizards and the law in REYNATIS!
I can say that with certainty because that's what the eShop tells me.
Okay that's all, go to bed.
