Personally, I don't see what the big deal is about moss. Why all the hubbub?
So why don't we ease into things with a game about one of the animals people are most likely to describe as "good at jumping", the humble Frog. BY WHICH I MEAN, Time on Frog Island! Based on the trailer, it seems that this here is an Animal Crossing-em-up, or maybe a completely non-violent Zeldo where you're some kind of ships captain what gets washed up on the shores of Disneys Amphibia, and has to do random odd jobs in order to repair your boat and get the heck out before hell comes to Frogtown!
Nothing in the eShop suggests that there is any kind of hell looming over this town of frogs, but don't tell anyone, eh? That'll just be out little secret.
And speaking of critter-people with a zest for life, we have FIST, a troid-em-up where you're a bunny rabbit with a GIGANTIC diesel-powered pair of gauntlets (Fists, if you will) that you use to traverse a sprawling cyber-city and punch the ever-cussing mustard out of everyone who looks at you funny. And then you get an upgrade that lets you explore a different part of that city you couldn't reach before. Kind of looks like a grimdark version of a Ken Penders comic.
Worth Life kind of looks like Fantasy Life, but side-scrolling instead of top-down. And also the main character looks enough like Alex Kidd that I keep thinking it's a new Alex Kidd game every time I scroll past it in the eShop. But it's not! It's about yardwork and sometimes you smite a dragon!
If you're in the mood for pretending you're a pretty, pretty Princess, we have two games kind of designed to disabuse you of the appeal of that process; Ambition: A Minuet in Power is half visual novel and half royal court intrigue and HOT GOSS simulator as you try to connive your way into the greatest position of power via schmoozing and subterfuge. And it's during the French Revolution so... poor timing for a go at that. And Long Live the Queen is... basically straight up Princess Maker. That one carries a ringing endorsement from our own ViolentVixon who said "I had to uninstall it".
Pascals Wager is some manner of action RPG, ported from your very telephone, with a kinda Souls-y aesthetic. That's all you're getting out of me about this, the video game Pascals Wager, named after a French guy who thought he figured out the mathematic odds of the afterlife.
Also a mobile port, but one that is VASTLY more appealing to me for an inestimable number of reasons is Spidersaurs! It's Wayforwards latest, and it's them making Contra, except instead of YOUR DADDIES Contra, this one has giant bug/dinosaur hybrids instead of Xenomorphs and robots and one of the playable characters shreds wildly on an electric guitar instead of shooting bullets.
...huh, I guess I just innumerate all the reasons I'm interested in this. It wasn't inestimable afterall.
Well, can't nobody accuse me of not engaging in hyperbole from time to time.
Darker Skies is a Resident Evil-em-up set in a Post War Britain. Post War OF THE WORLDS, Britain, I should say! Except it's set in the present day when the premise of "Invading alien force" really shouldn't have been *that* incomprehensible and also there's zombies because... y'know... why not throw some of them in there. Honestly, doesn't look too shabby from the trailer, but it's also a sequel to Grey Skies, which is apparently... not the kind of game that warranted a sequel.
Speaking of games about monsters set in the past, we also got Mothman 1966, a text adventure game based on Americas favorite cryptid who hates bridges and is ambivalent about Jon Cusack, it's got some *real cool* superVGA graphics that make this story about a bug guy who's going to make it much harder to get around West Virginia really pop off the page.
THE TV PAGE!
And on the subjects of video games based on real things (well... I mean... a bridge did fall down), we also got Kursk; the "first ever adventure/documentary" game, about a spy on board a Russian nuclear submarine, what sank in the early 2000s. You can also take a break to play a Game and Watch game. I suppose there COULD have been a convincing knock-off of a Game and Watch game available on Russian subs in the early 2000s
Finally, we've got Table of Tales, which... looks *way* cooler than I was expecting when I saw it on the list. It's a Stratactical RPG about pirates set on a table that creates dioramas of everything as you play it, which looks pretty dang spiffy, truth be told. And it's from the same peeps as what made Warlock of Firetop Mountain (which I loved) and Warhammer Underworlds (which I have never heard of before), so it's already batting a .500 for my enthusiasm.
Well, .750, since the trailer looked neat.
That's all you're getting out of me, now I just have to wait a half hour for my movie to start.
So why don't we ease into things with a game about one of the animals people are most likely to describe as "good at jumping", the humble Frog. BY WHICH I MEAN, Time on Frog Island! Based on the trailer, it seems that this here is an Animal Crossing-em-up, or maybe a completely non-violent Zeldo where you're some kind of ships captain what gets washed up on the shores of Disneys Amphibia, and has to do random odd jobs in order to repair your boat and get the heck out before hell comes to Frogtown!
Nothing in the eShop suggests that there is any kind of hell looming over this town of frogs, but don't tell anyone, eh? That'll just be out little secret.
And speaking of critter-people with a zest for life, we have FIST, a troid-em-up where you're a bunny rabbit with a GIGANTIC diesel-powered pair of gauntlets (Fists, if you will) that you use to traverse a sprawling cyber-city and punch the ever-cussing mustard out of everyone who looks at you funny. And then you get an upgrade that lets you explore a different part of that city you couldn't reach before. Kind of looks like a grimdark version of a Ken Penders comic.
Worth Life kind of looks like Fantasy Life, but side-scrolling instead of top-down. And also the main character looks enough like Alex Kidd that I keep thinking it's a new Alex Kidd game every time I scroll past it in the eShop. But it's not! It's about yardwork and sometimes you smite a dragon!
If you're in the mood for pretending you're a pretty, pretty Princess, we have two games kind of designed to disabuse you of the appeal of that process; Ambition: A Minuet in Power is half visual novel and half royal court intrigue and HOT GOSS simulator as you try to connive your way into the greatest position of power via schmoozing and subterfuge. And it's during the French Revolution so... poor timing for a go at that. And Long Live the Queen is... basically straight up Princess Maker. That one carries a ringing endorsement from our own ViolentVixon who said "I had to uninstall it".
Pascals Wager is some manner of action RPG, ported from your very telephone, with a kinda Souls-y aesthetic. That's all you're getting out of me about this, the video game Pascals Wager, named after a French guy who thought he figured out the mathematic odds of the afterlife.
Also a mobile port, but one that is VASTLY more appealing to me for an inestimable number of reasons is Spidersaurs! It's Wayforwards latest, and it's them making Contra, except instead of YOUR DADDIES Contra, this one has giant bug/dinosaur hybrids instead of Xenomorphs and robots and one of the playable characters shreds wildly on an electric guitar instead of shooting bullets.
...huh, I guess I just innumerate all the reasons I'm interested in this. It wasn't inestimable afterall.
Well, can't nobody accuse me of not engaging in hyperbole from time to time.
Darker Skies is a Resident Evil-em-up set in a Post War Britain. Post War OF THE WORLDS, Britain, I should say! Except it's set in the present day when the premise of "Invading alien force" really shouldn't have been *that* incomprehensible and also there's zombies because... y'know... why not throw some of them in there. Honestly, doesn't look too shabby from the trailer, but it's also a sequel to Grey Skies, which is apparently... not the kind of game that warranted a sequel.
Speaking of games about monsters set in the past, we also got Mothman 1966, a text adventure game based on Americas favorite cryptid who hates bridges and is ambivalent about Jon Cusack, it's got some *real cool* superVGA graphics that make this story about a bug guy who's going to make it much harder to get around West Virginia really pop off the page.
THE TV PAGE!
And on the subjects of video games based on real things (well... I mean... a bridge did fall down), we also got Kursk; the "first ever adventure/documentary" game, about a spy on board a Russian nuclear submarine, what sank in the early 2000s. You can also take a break to play a Game and Watch game. I suppose there COULD have been a convincing knock-off of a Game and Watch game available on Russian subs in the early 2000s
Finally, we've got Table of Tales, which... looks *way* cooler than I was expecting when I saw it on the list. It's a Stratactical RPG about pirates set on a table that creates dioramas of everything as you play it, which looks pretty dang spiffy, truth be told. And it's from the same peeps as what made Warlock of Firetop Mountain (which I loved) and Warhammer Underworlds (which I have never heard of before), so it's already batting a .500 for my enthusiasm.
Well, .750, since the trailer looked neat.
That's all you're getting out of me, now I just have to wait a half hour for my movie to start.
