You know, I've held my tongue on this for long enough; there's enough girls with dragon tattoos that "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" is *not* a helpful descriptor in and of itself.
And speaking of MURDER MOST FOUL (and usually the non-seqiuitor I start these threads with has no bearing on anything, so... weird that I can tie it in this time) we have a game about CRIMES! CAT CRIMES! But not, like, intentionally knocking a coffee cup off a table or putting a whole fish in their mouth and pulling out a skeleton; we've got the other, more larcenous kind. On Your Tail is a crimes-em-up where you're a kitty peep who went on vacation and just happened to stumble into the most felony-rich seaside vacation town in Fake Italy.
And sicne your kitty peep is a mystery writer and one who wants to go all Murder She Wrote on everyones asses, this is a perfect confluence of events.
Speaking of cat peeps and violence, we have a more cartoony expression of that in KinnikuNeko: SUPER MUSCLE CAT. And I feel like everything I needed to be told there was laid out right in the title. This here is a platformer where you're a little kitty that can turn into a greased up muscle-boy. Like Altered Beast, but in reverse. It brags about being hilarious, and that usually means it is not!
Next up we have one of the Big Dog Hoo Nelly releases of the month, and it's technically a big dog hoo nelly release from a decade ago; Xenoblade Chronicles X is back and it's better than ever! Meaning they realized there was large swathes of the game that desperately needed lots of quality of life adjustments and opted to provide them. Plus a whole whack of bonus content and post game stuff and everything.
It's the year "Future", and the Earth was completely annihilated because it happened to be in the way of two warring alien races looking to throw hands at one another so everyone picked up sticks and moved to a NEW planet, founded a new Los Angeles and then said "Wait... this ecosystem wants to murder us too... this still sucks.". But you've got a bunch of mecha and space guns so... problems should resolve themselves.
And speaking of bucking the norms of its respective series; we've got Atelier Yumia: The Alchemist of Memories and the Envisioned Land, which opts to go for a more Breath of the Wild-y open world-y approach to the game, as well as a plot that's about Doing RPG Stuff instead of cozy vibes. Which means it's the first one I've said "Oh! OH! Oh I am DEEPLY INTO THIS" as opposed to me shrugging and saying "I'm sure it's fine".
The Ryza games notwithstanding; I really liked those.
Anyway, you're a SCIENCE WIZARD who solves all her problems by kicking the crap out of monsters with her two damn legs and also turns smushed up monsters and spider-webs and whatever into ingredients that you can free-cycle into new gear and grenades and healing potions and whatnot and also has to teach everyone that the thing that the series is named after is *just fine, actually*. And also kick the every-loving hell out of big dragons.
Just stomping them all into monster-sauce.
Oh, also there's another new Assassins Creed game, it's Assassins Creed Shadows, and this one is an actual-Ninja one instead of an Italian Ninja, or Greek Ninjas or Pirate Ninjas or whatever.
Surprisingly, some people had vocal complaints about the main guys melanin levels. A surprise given how famously understated their reactionary responses are.
Tales of Autumn is a Starman Farmgame where the animals are all monsters. That's about all I got to say here. Enjoy farm!
And now, of course, the Old Video Games; kicking off with Egg Console presenting us with a shmup so the lack of localization efforts means nothing; Gulkave, a game that the eShop raves is "a simple gameplay experience", and features what seems to be a weird unintuitive version of Gradius' upgrade system.
WOO!
And speaking of side scrolling shooters that never left Japan, we have a MUCH higher profile one with Assault Suit: Leynos 2 finally getting a North American release!
It's the year 79 of the Universal Century calendar and there's an all out war between Earth and its space colonies with combat being handled by gargantuan walking tanks that look like some kind of mobilized suit. If this all feels vaguely familiar, it's because you may be thinking of the earlier releases in the series, Target: Earth and Cybernator. Or perhaps Metal Warriors, which I am constantly surprised to learn was totally unrelated.
Definitely one of those and not anything else.
Anyway, it up to you to endlessly waltz as you make some stardust memories for a bunch of iron blooded orphans and launch a counter attack for anything charred by the war in a pocket.
OKAY, GO TO BED
And speaking of MURDER MOST FOUL (and usually the non-seqiuitor I start these threads with has no bearing on anything, so... weird that I can tie it in this time) we have a game about CRIMES! CAT CRIMES! But not, like, intentionally knocking a coffee cup off a table or putting a whole fish in their mouth and pulling out a skeleton; we've got the other, more larcenous kind. On Your Tail is a crimes-em-up where you're a kitty peep who went on vacation and just happened to stumble into the most felony-rich seaside vacation town in Fake Italy.
And sicne your kitty peep is a mystery writer and one who wants to go all Murder She Wrote on everyones asses, this is a perfect confluence of events.
Speaking of cat peeps and violence, we have a more cartoony expression of that in KinnikuNeko: SUPER MUSCLE CAT. And I feel like everything I needed to be told there was laid out right in the title. This here is a platformer where you're a little kitty that can turn into a greased up muscle-boy. Like Altered Beast, but in reverse. It brags about being hilarious, and that usually means it is not!
Next up we have one of the Big Dog Hoo Nelly releases of the month, and it's technically a big dog hoo nelly release from a decade ago; Xenoblade Chronicles X is back and it's better than ever! Meaning they realized there was large swathes of the game that desperately needed lots of quality of life adjustments and opted to provide them. Plus a whole whack of bonus content and post game stuff and everything.
It's the year "Future", and the Earth was completely annihilated because it happened to be in the way of two warring alien races looking to throw hands at one another so everyone picked up sticks and moved to a NEW planet, founded a new Los Angeles and then said "Wait... this ecosystem wants to murder us too... this still sucks.". But you've got a bunch of mecha and space guns so... problems should resolve themselves.
And speaking of bucking the norms of its respective series; we've got Atelier Yumia: The Alchemist of Memories and the Envisioned Land, which opts to go for a more Breath of the Wild-y open world-y approach to the game, as well as a plot that's about Doing RPG Stuff instead of cozy vibes. Which means it's the first one I've said "Oh! OH! Oh I am DEEPLY INTO THIS" as opposed to me shrugging and saying "I'm sure it's fine".
The Ryza games notwithstanding; I really liked those.
Anyway, you're a SCIENCE WIZARD who solves all her problems by kicking the crap out of monsters with her two damn legs and also turns smushed up monsters and spider-webs and whatever into ingredients that you can free-cycle into new gear and grenades and healing potions and whatnot and also has to teach everyone that the thing that the series is named after is *just fine, actually*. And also kick the every-loving hell out of big dragons.
Just stomping them all into monster-sauce.
Oh, also there's another new Assassins Creed game, it's Assassins Creed Shadows, and this one is an actual-Ninja one instead of an Italian Ninja, or Greek Ninjas or Pirate Ninjas or whatever.
Surprisingly, some people had vocal complaints about the main guys melanin levels. A surprise given how famously understated their reactionary responses are.
Tales of Autumn is a Starman Farmgame where the animals are all monsters. That's about all I got to say here. Enjoy farm!
And now, of course, the Old Video Games; kicking off with Egg Console presenting us with a shmup so the lack of localization efforts means nothing; Gulkave, a game that the eShop raves is "a simple gameplay experience", and features what seems to be a weird unintuitive version of Gradius' upgrade system.
WOO!
And speaking of side scrolling shooters that never left Japan, we have a MUCH higher profile one with Assault Suit: Leynos 2 finally getting a North American release!
It's the year 79 of the Universal Century calendar and there's an all out war between Earth and its space colonies with combat being handled by gargantuan walking tanks that look like some kind of mobilized suit. If this all feels vaguely familiar, it's because you may be thinking of the earlier releases in the series, Target: Earth and Cybernator. Or perhaps Metal Warriors, which I am constantly surprised to learn was totally unrelated.
Definitely one of those and not anything else.
Anyway, it up to you to endlessly waltz as you make some stardust memories for a bunch of iron blooded orphans and launch a counter attack for anything charred by the war in a pocket.
OKAY, GO TO BED
