I grant permission to everyone reading this thread to have a nice day.
So we're kicking off this very special ahhhromantic edition of Digital Down-Low with the game with the greatest possible amount of love in it; Tennis. And who knows more about romance and Tennis than Waluigi and Donkey Kong? *Absolutely nobody, that's who*. Which is why, with a heart swimming with affection I'm happy to say that this week has Mario Tennis: Fever. It's the latest Mario Tennis game. And, as you'd of course assume from a Tennis game starring Mario and his friends, it has a story mode where everyone turns into babies.
Now what if you want a video game about love, but don't want it to be about Tennis. What if you had a love... *for crime*?!? Well, good news you reprobates and ne'erdowells of all stripes, we've got a new Yakuza game! Technically it's an old one, as it's a remake; but it's a very extensive sort of remake that might as well be a new game; it's Yakuza Kiwami 3: Dark Ties. It's business as usual for Kazuma Kiryu as he's framed for a crime he didn't commit (nobody seems to mind the many, many crimes he totally did do) and has to show that he's very, very disappointed with his fellow gangsters for behaving unethically.
While I've never really been able to get into the Yakuza games, the general chatter surrounding this one is a whole lot of "Ooof... *OOOF*" with what they've changed or not changed about this version so... approach with trepidation, I suppose.
Speaking of wandering the mean streets of urban Tokyo and finding yourself n just an absolutely cartoonish level of *incredible* danger, we've got Tokyo Scramble. It's a survival horror game where you're a gal on the subway that suddenly derailed because the train tunnels accidentally broke into a hidden prehistoric jungle that was I guess, like, 50 feet below Tokyo and now there's dinosaurs all over the dang place.
The eShop description says it's "an engaging Teen drama about four friends and their dreams for the future" which really seems to be less relevant than the whole surprise dinosaur peril thing.
Speaking of being unexpectedly thrust into a maze full of dangerous *humanivores*, we've got The Prisoning: Fletchers Quest, it's a Troid with randomized levels and a fairly busy art style. That's about all I got for ya.
Speaking of semi-randomized Troids with lots and lots and LOTS of stuff fighting for space in your eyeballs, we've got BlazBlue: Entropy Effect X, which appears to be more of a Dead Cells, but with BlazBlue characters. Given that this is a BlazBlue spinoff, everything about the plot is... completely incomprehensible, but it being a game that looks a heck of a lot like Dead Cells; that may not really be a dealbreaker.
That the playable character list seemingly does not include The Guy Who Is a Sack of Bugs or Kitty-Cat Samurai, however, is harder to reconcile. (Taokaka is an okay conciliation prize)
Now if you want a game that is just as suffused with colour as BlazBlue, but is perhaps a bit more slow paced and puzzle-y rather than focused on chopping up Robeasts, maybe you'd like to hitch your wagon to Chromagun 2: Dye Hard. It's a Portal, but with Weird Paint instead of Weird Holes.
Get yourself down to a testing facility for a Weird Paint Gun and do some normal puzzles that involve Weird Paint. Everything will be safe!
Speaking of paint, we've got Dear Me, I Was, which is a wordsy emotions-em-up with a painty art-style about a lady, doing typical Lady Stuff. Like eating cereal, and going on bike rides and... I'unno... karate tournaments? Either competing or attending. Maybe taking up taxidermy or getting really into trains? Its possible, I don't know what this lady is up to. But YOU CAN by playing Dear Me, I Was, on the Nintendo eShop!
Speaking of just trying to live your life, we've got Reanimal, where that activity is made really *really* difficult since you're a couple of l'il scamps who got lost in a hellish factory town overrun with unspeakable twisted horrors. It's from the Little Nightmares peeps and looks a heck of a lot like Little Nightmares, or Limbo, or Inside? One of those Child Endangerment simulators.
Visit scenic; an island that children should not be on, and learn why it got that description.
So now we're on to the BRAND NEW STUFF that's actually Brand Old Stuff, kicking off with a surprise release from last weeks direct; The Super Bomberman Collection, a collection of not one, not two, but *seven* Bomberman games, with 12 localizations between them; Super Bomberman 1-5 (3 was only released in English in Europe, and this is the first time 4 and 5 were localized at all), as well as the Famicom ports of Bomberman and Bomberman 2. THAT IS SO MUCH BOMBERMAN.
Nothing will ever make up for them cancelling the Battle Royale Bomberman, but... I love Bomberman so it's nice of them to try.
And speaking of Very Old Games with an enticing new twist, and based on something I love, we've got Jaws: Retro Edition, which isn't *just* a port of the Jaws NES game (which was inexplicably solid considering how it was both based on Jaws 4, and published by LJN), but it also includes a greatly expanded rom-hacky semi-sequel based on all four Jaws films with more robust RPG elements and an expanded world.
I'm baffled, but, as noted, the Jaws NES game was surprisingly good considering everything that was against it being so, so I ain't complaining.
And as another retro-rerelease the Gameboy NSO app got itself two more titles this week as well! The very good but oft-forgot sequel to Balloon Fight, Balloon Kid, and the block-matching puzzle game Yoshi, which was a port of the NES game, but without colours. It's MUCH harder to get excited about that one unless it's one of the Games You Had as a kid, in which case it shoots up to the top of the list.
OKAY, GO TO BED.
So we're kicking off this very special ahhhromantic edition of Digital Down-Low with the game with the greatest possible amount of love in it; Tennis. And who knows more about romance and Tennis than Waluigi and Donkey Kong? *Absolutely nobody, that's who*. Which is why, with a heart swimming with affection I'm happy to say that this week has Mario Tennis: Fever. It's the latest Mario Tennis game. And, as you'd of course assume from a Tennis game starring Mario and his friends, it has a story mode where everyone turns into babies.
Now what if you want a video game about love, but don't want it to be about Tennis. What if you had a love... *for crime*?!? Well, good news you reprobates and ne'erdowells of all stripes, we've got a new Yakuza game! Technically it's an old one, as it's a remake; but it's a very extensive sort of remake that might as well be a new game; it's Yakuza Kiwami 3: Dark Ties. It's business as usual for Kazuma Kiryu as he's framed for a crime he didn't commit (nobody seems to mind the many, many crimes he totally did do) and has to show that he's very, very disappointed with his fellow gangsters for behaving unethically.
While I've never really been able to get into the Yakuza games, the general chatter surrounding this one is a whole lot of "Ooof... *OOOF*" with what they've changed or not changed about this version so... approach with trepidation, I suppose.
The eShop description says it's "an engaging Teen drama about four friends and their dreams for the future" which really seems to be less relevant than the whole surprise dinosaur peril thing.
Speaking of being unexpectedly thrust into a maze full of dangerous *humanivores*, we've got The Prisoning: Fletchers Quest, it's a Troid with randomized levels and a fairly busy art style. That's about all I got for ya.
Speaking of semi-randomized Troids with lots and lots and LOTS of stuff fighting for space in your eyeballs, we've got BlazBlue: Entropy Effect X, which appears to be more of a Dead Cells, but with BlazBlue characters. Given that this is a BlazBlue spinoff, everything about the plot is... completely incomprehensible, but it being a game that looks a heck of a lot like Dead Cells; that may not really be a dealbreaker.
That the playable character list seemingly does not include The Guy Who Is a Sack of Bugs or Kitty-Cat Samurai, however, is harder to reconcile. (Taokaka is an okay conciliation prize)
Now if you want a game that is just as suffused with colour as BlazBlue, but is perhaps a bit more slow paced and puzzle-y rather than focused on chopping up Robeasts, maybe you'd like to hitch your wagon to Chromagun 2: Dye Hard. It's a Portal, but with Weird Paint instead of Weird Holes.
Get yourself down to a testing facility for a Weird Paint Gun and do some normal puzzles that involve Weird Paint. Everything will be safe!
Speaking of paint, we've got Dear Me, I Was, which is a wordsy emotions-em-up with a painty art-style about a lady, doing typical Lady Stuff. Like eating cereal, and going on bike rides and... I'unno... karate tournaments? Either competing or attending. Maybe taking up taxidermy or getting really into trains? Its possible, I don't know what this lady is up to. But YOU CAN by playing Dear Me, I Was, on the Nintendo eShop!
Speaking of just trying to live your life, we've got Reanimal, where that activity is made really *really* difficult since you're a couple of l'il scamps who got lost in a hellish factory town overrun with unspeakable twisted horrors. It's from the Little Nightmares peeps and looks a heck of a lot like Little Nightmares, or Limbo, or Inside? One of those Child Endangerment simulators.
Visit scenic; an island that children should not be on, and learn why it got that description.
So now we're on to the BRAND NEW STUFF that's actually Brand Old Stuff, kicking off with a surprise release from last weeks direct; The Super Bomberman Collection, a collection of not one, not two, but *seven* Bomberman games, with 12 localizations between them; Super Bomberman 1-5 (3 was only released in English in Europe, and this is the first time 4 and 5 were localized at all), as well as the Famicom ports of Bomberman and Bomberman 2. THAT IS SO MUCH BOMBERMAN.
Nothing will ever make up for them cancelling the Battle Royale Bomberman, but... I love Bomberman so it's nice of them to try.
I'm baffled, but, as noted, the Jaws NES game was surprisingly good considering everything that was against it being so, so I ain't complaining.
And as another retro-rerelease the Gameboy NSO app got itself two more titles this week as well! The very good but oft-forgot sequel to Balloon Fight, Balloon Kid, and the block-matching puzzle game Yoshi, which was a port of the NES game, but without colours. It's MUCH harder to get excited about that one unless it's one of the Games You Had as a kid, in which case it shoots up to the top of the list.
