Well, it's been about a month, let's see if I remember how to write a thread.
So last week there actually *was* some stuff released worth talking about, but there was only three things so I figured it still didn't warrant clicking that ol' Create Thread button. THAT CHANGES THIS WEEK, but it's still best to bring them up, an to that end, we're kicking in the doors and waxing the floors by waging some wars! Freedom Wars, that is! Freedom Wars Remastered is up first, and it's a gussied up port of the Vita game that... I'll go ahead and assume nobody played by merit of it being a Vita game. From context clues, I infer it's a Monster Hunter-em-up, with you all crafting and customizing gear based on the pieces you break off big monsters *but* with the added benefit of an absolutely bug-nuts plot wherein you are hunting down giant monsters in order to knock time off your *one million year* prison sentence. Like if Suicide Squad had to deal with more robot godzillas.
People "in the know" tell me it's a surprisingly solid example of Monster Huntery that was kind of buried by merit of it being a Vita game, so who are you going to trust, your preconceived notions or a vague third hand pronouncement of quality?
That's what I thought. Check your biases.
Speaking of gussied up remakes of overlooked games native to now obselete Sony handhelds, next up is the long awaited (by me, and probably a bunch of other people reading this thread) Ys Memoire: Oath of Felghana! It's a re-release of the original Oath of Felghana, which was on my shortlist of "Best Ys Games", and is furthermore, itself a remake of Ys 3, which I did not like very much at all (I had it on the SNES which I understand to be a shoddy port). It being an Ys game, it follows Adol Cristin as he crashes a boat somewhere and opts to kill whatever the local satan analogue is and make the first woman you see fall in love with you even though you prioritize "killing monsters" over communicating in any way shape or form.
Now, if we were to get a remake of the PSP remake of Brandish as well, hoo nelly, we'd be in hog heaven.
And on the subject of remakes of decade-plus year old games, we've got Donkey Kong Country Returns HD! Which isn't JUST a gussied up port of the Wii original; it's also got an Easy Mode (since the original was *bonkers* hard) and the bonus content from the 3DS port! I was never especially smitten with the series, but DKCR is regarded as being among the best it had to offer and here it is again!
Get your nanners back from a bunch of weird floating wood guys, dammit! We're all counting on you!
Speaking of games where the powers of the beasts of the earth are united to battle an implacable foe, Blade Chimera, and it's the latest from Ladybug (the same peeps as what made the superlative Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth, and the... also fine Luna Knights and Drainus). And, as is in their wheelhouse, it's a Troid where you've got to manage several kinds of resources bars, Ikaruga style in order to use either your weird magic demon-sword or... like... guns depending on which one you of those you haven't been employing recently.
Visit scenic "Monstered up Osaka" and troid your way up one end of it and down the other and smash boss monsters to get double jumps and the like.
Speaking of Troids, wouldn't you like to make your own? I don't know, maybe... it feels like a genre thats really hard to do really well but you can put your damn money where your damn mouth is and see for yourself with Star Lair! A game which appears to be Metroid Maker. Explore a functionally infinite number of planets that are all tailor made by other players or make your own dang Zebes if you think you're so smart.
Can't speak to how the beeps and boops of playing it goes, but it looks like a pretty robust and impressive level-making game and I really doubt that Nintendo is going to make a proper version any time soon...
Now I don't know how much you know about how the bodys immune system works (I'm an expert) but I have watched most of Cells at Work, where we are taught that most bodily problems are solved by little guys who get into super violent knife fights against monsters in your lymph nodes or wherever. Well, a competing theory is what is espoused by Hynpytol, which claims that most white blood cells actually fighting infection by block pushing puzzles and high-fives.
Which makes perfect sense since, if you give someone a high-five you are smushing all the germs that might be on their hand to death, whereas if you try that with a knife, you will be arrested and what kind of health care process results in you going to ol' stony lonesome?
A bad one that's what. So trust Hynpytol as the solution to all your medical questions.
And since we're already tlaking about a game that looks like an NES game, why not go all the way and talk about an actual NES game! Or a Famicom game, if you want to get all pedantic; Pizza Pop has, at long last, finally been given the English localization it has been due for... like... 35 years. I know I've certainly been chomping at the bit for it. Chomping at a bit of Pizza that is!
I... uh, I got not damn idea what this is. It's a pizza delivery themed platformer I guess. But it offers "seven stages filled with the flavour of pizza, and the energy of youth."
Try to deliver enough pizza to get a wedding ring to make an honest woman out of your lovely girlfriend, why don't you?
And speaking of very old video games that that have never got an english localization before, that streak continues with Egg Console: Crimson, since it too is entirely in Japanese. And it's an RPG, so... good luck playing it if you ain't capable of reading that particular dialect. Fromt he description is sounds a lot liek Dragon Quest 3, and a lot of unique features that sound like... things people complain about with other RPGs of this vintage like a lack of changing targets if the enemy you're attacking already died and it being really really hard to land an attack.
So... really hard to recommend this one, honestly.
OKAY GO TO BED
So last week there actually *was* some stuff released worth talking about, but there was only three things so I figured it still didn't warrant clicking that ol' Create Thread button. THAT CHANGES THIS WEEK, but it's still best to bring them up, an to that end, we're kicking in the doors and waxing the floors by waging some wars! Freedom Wars, that is! Freedom Wars Remastered is up first, and it's a gussied up port of the Vita game that... I'll go ahead and assume nobody played by merit of it being a Vita game. From context clues, I infer it's a Monster Hunter-em-up, with you all crafting and customizing gear based on the pieces you break off big monsters *but* with the added benefit of an absolutely bug-nuts plot wherein you are hunting down giant monsters in order to knock time off your *one million year* prison sentence. Like if Suicide Squad had to deal with more robot godzillas.
People "in the know" tell me it's a surprisingly solid example of Monster Huntery that was kind of buried by merit of it being a Vita game, so who are you going to trust, your preconceived notions or a vague third hand pronouncement of quality?
That's what I thought. Check your biases.
Speaking of gussied up remakes of overlooked games native to now obselete Sony handhelds, next up is the long awaited (by me, and probably a bunch of other people reading this thread) Ys Memoire: Oath of Felghana! It's a re-release of the original Oath of Felghana, which was on my shortlist of "Best Ys Games", and is furthermore, itself a remake of Ys 3, which I did not like very much at all (I had it on the SNES which I understand to be a shoddy port). It being an Ys game, it follows Adol Cristin as he crashes a boat somewhere and opts to kill whatever the local satan analogue is and make the first woman you see fall in love with you even though you prioritize "killing monsters" over communicating in any way shape or form.
Now, if we were to get a remake of the PSP remake of Brandish as well, hoo nelly, we'd be in hog heaven.
And on the subject of remakes of decade-plus year old games, we've got Donkey Kong Country Returns HD! Which isn't JUST a gussied up port of the Wii original; it's also got an Easy Mode (since the original was *bonkers* hard) and the bonus content from the 3DS port! I was never especially smitten with the series, but DKCR is regarded as being among the best it had to offer and here it is again!
Get your nanners back from a bunch of weird floating wood guys, dammit! We're all counting on you!
Speaking of games where the powers of the beasts of the earth are united to battle an implacable foe, Blade Chimera, and it's the latest from Ladybug (the same peeps as what made the superlative Deedlit in Wonder Labyrinth, and the... also fine Luna Knights and Drainus). And, as is in their wheelhouse, it's a Troid where you've got to manage several kinds of resources bars, Ikaruga style in order to use either your weird magic demon-sword or... like... guns depending on which one you of those you haven't been employing recently.
Visit scenic "Monstered up Osaka" and troid your way up one end of it and down the other and smash boss monsters to get double jumps and the like.
Speaking of Troids, wouldn't you like to make your own? I don't know, maybe... it feels like a genre thats really hard to do really well but you can put your damn money where your damn mouth is and see for yourself with Star Lair! A game which appears to be Metroid Maker. Explore a functionally infinite number of planets that are all tailor made by other players or make your own dang Zebes if you think you're so smart.
Can't speak to how the beeps and boops of playing it goes, but it looks like a pretty robust and impressive level-making game and I really doubt that Nintendo is going to make a proper version any time soon...
Now I don't know how much you know about how the bodys immune system works (I'm an expert) but I have watched most of Cells at Work, where we are taught that most bodily problems are solved by little guys who get into super violent knife fights against monsters in your lymph nodes or wherever. Well, a competing theory is what is espoused by Hynpytol, which claims that most white blood cells actually fighting infection by block pushing puzzles and high-fives.
Which makes perfect sense since, if you give someone a high-five you are smushing all the germs that might be on their hand to death, whereas if you try that with a knife, you will be arrested and what kind of health care process results in you going to ol' stony lonesome?
A bad one that's what. So trust Hynpytol as the solution to all your medical questions.
And since we're already tlaking about a game that looks like an NES game, why not go all the way and talk about an actual NES game! Or a Famicom game, if you want to get all pedantic; Pizza Pop has, at long last, finally been given the English localization it has been due for... like... 35 years. I know I've certainly been chomping at the bit for it. Chomping at a bit of Pizza that is!
I... uh, I got not damn idea what this is. It's a pizza delivery themed platformer I guess. But it offers "seven stages filled with the flavour of pizza, and the energy of youth."
Try to deliver enough pizza to get a wedding ring to make an honest woman out of your lovely girlfriend, why don't you?
And speaking of very old video games that that have never got an english localization before, that streak continues with Egg Console: Crimson, since it too is entirely in Japanese. And it's an RPG, so... good luck playing it if you ain't capable of reading that particular dialect. Fromt he description is sounds a lot liek Dragon Quest 3, and a lot of unique features that sound like... things people complain about with other RPGs of this vintage like a lack of changing targets if the enemy you're attacking already died and it being really really hard to land an attack.
So... really hard to recommend this one, honestly.
OKAY GO TO BED
