I didn't know where to put this and if this is the wrong section of the forum, Mods are free to move it. I turned 40 a year ago. I know that many here are also solidly in the 'middle' of their lives. And, while there have been deaths in my life, blessedly, they have been unexpected, sudden, and/or accidental. But, my parents are getting older, my aunts and uncles are aging, they are all solidly into the 'end' of their lives. And, the ailments and frailties of old age have become common for them. As I type this, my mom is dealing with a fractured foot that she got from a mere trip, my uncle is going in to have a hip replaced, an aunt had a hysterectomy to deal with a cancer, another aunt had to spend three days in the hospital recovering from a fall, and last Friday an uncle had a massive heart attack that felled him in a single blow, despite being otherwise relatively healthy. In the larger cultural sense we see this in that the familiar faces that we grew up with on TV and in Movies are also dying.
And while previously deaths of family, friends, and acquaintances were deviations from the norm, they are moving to become the norm. The people who have influenced me the most, who as I child I idolized are slowly, but surely, exiting Life. And, I am finding it hard to come to terms with this. As an agnostic, I don't hold any hope for an afterlife wherein I will be reunited with these people, as a Buddhist I am familiar with sitting with my feelings, emotions, and then letting them go. In practice though this is difficult. I suppose, I made this thread to force myself to sit here with these thoughts. To have to process this emotion into something more than turmoil.
Apologies for journaling on the forum, I guess. But, I just thought there should be a place here where most of my friends are where people can share their thoughts and feelings on this most important part of living, the end. IRL my family is scattered across the country, and there really isn't a dense, physical support network for me to call on in times of distress like this. So, here I am typing this out and crying alone.
If people have practices, rites, or thoughts on how they deal with these emotions please do share.
And while previously deaths of family, friends, and acquaintances were deviations from the norm, they are moving to become the norm. The people who have influenced me the most, who as I child I idolized are slowly, but surely, exiting Life. And, I am finding it hard to come to terms with this. As an agnostic, I don't hold any hope for an afterlife wherein I will be reunited with these people, as a Buddhist I am familiar with sitting with my feelings, emotions, and then letting them go. In practice though this is difficult. I suppose, I made this thread to force myself to sit here with these thoughts. To have to process this emotion into something more than turmoil.
Apologies for journaling on the forum, I guess. But, I just thought there should be a place here where most of my friends are where people can share their thoughts and feelings on this most important part of living, the end. IRL my family is scattered across the country, and there really isn't a dense, physical support network for me to call on in times of distress like this. So, here I am typing this out and crying alone.
If people have practices, rites, or thoughts on how they deal with these emotions please do share.