Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?

[muteKi]

I once insisted on going to work with a bad cold because I wanted to prove that I could earn an income regardless. Almost passed out a few times from weakness but I decided to power through it. The next day I was diagnosed with bronchitis and pneumonia.

So yeah, I am Gregor.

I want to make it clear that I personally volunteered to come in and help, as I wanted to prove to myself that I could be of use (I was a private caregiver) to others even at my worst. Income was a bonus. I do understand and appreciate what you say, but I was not mistreated.

 

[FelixSH]

Warning: Homophobia, but also really dumb.

I think we all agree that god created dinosaurs on the 6th day. In the bible they're referred to as "serpents" and "behemoths". The serpent is the symbol of a sexual deviant, satanism, and homosexuality. I think we all agree that reproduction is impossible through homosexual sex. Many homosexuals, like Jeffrey Dahmer & John Wayne Gacy, who were violent serial killers and cannibals. Much like today's serial killers, who are all homosexuals, dinosaurs lived a life of violence and sodomy. The logical conclusion is that dinosaurs were homosexuals. Dinosaurs lived a life of violence, and as I have already proved, homosexuals live a life of violence and sodomy. Fueled by violence, sodomy, and satanism, dinosaurs had little chance to survive.

Isn't it more reasonable and logical that dinosaurs really died off because they were really homosexuals, and not because food was scarce when they got off the ark?

 

[nosimpleway]

Isn't it more reasonable and logical that dinosaurs really died off because they were really homosexuals, and not because food was scarce when they got off the ark?

To give this post some credit, yes, I'd say that is more reasonable and logical than dinosaurs being on Noah's ark.

 

[Felicia]

There sure are some interesting uses of "I think we can all agree" and "logical conclusion" in that post.

 

[Zef]

Well, someone hasn't watched the Land Before Time movies.

 

[Exposition Owl]

Wow! It’s like someone made a post specifically to make me angry! Like, specifically me!

 

[Zef]

I mean, the very last quoted sentence is just all by itself, the preceding paragraph is thermite eating through one's skull, causing that fire.

 

[q 3]

Excuse me but science has now proven that dinosaurs were birds and therefore created on the fifth day.

 

[Becksworth]

Birds have feathers. Feather boas are common fashion statements at pride parades. Checkmate libs.

 

[muteKi]

The way you put down computers as if humans are inherently superior harkens back to Nazi-era Übermensch ideology. In reality there's no reason to believe that any algorithms in your brain can't be implemented in silicon and making computers out of meat is probably inefficient

 

[RT-55J]

The secret sauce to video games is humor, yes even in serious games. Humor is the most difficult thing to do, it doesn't have to be "laugh out loud" but the player should feel amused. Ask yourself if Angry Birds® would be a hit if it was called The Catapult Game (without birds exploding etc.) Add humor to your games and you immediately step away from your competitors as most don't even try. Humor entertains both males and females, so you can double your audience when you entertain both. When you come up with designs, ask yourself, "Is this for males, or females, or both?" We highly recommend you focus on both, as it doubles the audience of your game before you even start coding!

 

[Mightyblue]

You had me until the males and females bit, which means that the poster is an icky person.

 

[Mogri]

At least the poster is equal-opportunity icky?

 

[q 3]

Did the Earthworm Jim guy write that.

 

[WisteriaHysteria]

At least the poster is equal-opportunity icky?

Haha, that was kinda my takeaway. Like, usually you see someone go, "men and females". At least they're consistent in their dehumanizing of people.

 

[RT-55J]

Did the Earthworm Jim guy write that.

That's a very, very close guess. It was Tommy Tallarico

 

[nosimpleway]

Did the Earthworm Jim guy write that.

 

[Becksworth]

That's a very, very close guess. It was Tommy Tallarico

The real kicker is it’s not a random social media post, it’s in the leaked dev portal documentation for the Amico.

 

[Kirin]

Huh. This is somehow the first I'd heard of the Amico, or the fact that Tommy Tallarico evidently bought the rights to the Inellivision brand.

 

[Octopus Prime]

Honestly, he’s pretty low on my list of Video Game Making Guys I’d be surprised to find out are Icky.

Matter of fact, that’s a substantially less icky comment than I would expect from him.

 

[muteKi]

Also there is nothing bad about Goblin Slayer. Goblins are monsters, not humans. In some settings you have female demons killing men or harpies ripping males appart. If anyone thinks getting abused, eaten or worse is some kind of lewd fanservice, they might have problems. Just think of the Xenomorph from Alien. They aren't a statement about some nation or meant as wank material, they are simply there to spook you.

 

[Zef]

Bets on this guy being big on "egalitarianism" in opposition to feminism.

 

[Sprite]

Sometimes a sentient vagina that impregnates men with a giant dick monster is just a cigar

 

[Felicia]

Huh. This is somehow the first I'd heard of the Amico, or the fact that Tommy Tallarico evidently bought the rights to the Inellivision brand.

I've been following the Amico on-and-off for a while just because it possibly will have a TRON game on it, and it just seems like such a weird thing. The classic "answer to a question nobody asked".

 

[Kirin]

I've been following the Amico on-and-off for a while just because it possibly will have a TRON game on it, and it just seems like such a weird thing. The classic "answer to a question nobody asked".

I mean it looks like they're trying to bring back couch co-op as a main focus, which could be a cool thing in theory. A lot of the games look like pretty cheap quickie HD conversions or off-brand imitations, though, so who knows whether it'll actually be fun for more than a few minutes.

 

[q 3]

Context: from a Kickstarter FAQ section:

Why did you block me on social media?

Because we do not have time for negativity and trolls. We are here to make the best damn anime app on the planet, trolls and negative people are just trying to get in the way. If you believe in what we are trying to do, then support our campaign, otherwise find someone who wants to listen to you!

 

[Becksworth]

What’s the over/under on whoever wrote that complaining about “censorship” in localizing Japanese media in the west on the internet?

 

[conchobhar]

I don’t understand why, if the film is set in Canada, we see a Chinese street. Has anyone figured it out?

 

[karzac]

lol

 

[Mogri]

I don't understand why, if the film is set in New York, we see Vancouver.