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Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?

RT-55J

definitely not a robot
(He/Him + RT/artee)
I was thinking about why so many in the radical left participate in "speedrunning"

The reason is the left's lack of work ethic ('go fast' rather than 'do it right') and, in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace ('fastest mario') 1/14
 

lincolnic

can stop, will stop
(he/him)
Yep, because if there's one thing speedrunners never do, it's spending days/months/years working to master something.
 

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
(they/them)
ok but this is the secret best part (also: profile pic of Commander Shepard)

In the sexual marketplace, which archetypes are simultaneously deemed the most creative and valued the highest? 10/14
The answer is obviously entrepreneurs like Elon Musk and others.
 

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
(they/them)
I did speak about this with my wife before posting, even, and she seemed excited and leant me some ideas for how to resolve the "glitchless 100%" question.
 

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
(they/them)
Tom is not a raccoon that gains power legitimately over the player. Instead, he forces the player into a contract against their own free will/choice.

He is not a true capitalist. This is the act of an authoritarian pretending to be a capitalist. A wolf in sheep's clothing.

It is telling that leftists derive pleasure from this act of being dominated by a masculine figure (the male Tom) pretending to be a capitalist.

Read into that what you will.

I think the message is fairly obvious.

PS: I do not know if "Tom" is in the recent "Animal Crossing" as I have not played it (or any of them).
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
By playing Animal Crossing, you, the player, agree to the terms and conditions laid out by Tom.

No, the actual reason Tom is not a true capitalist is that he is a monopolist.
 

Exposition Owl

Owl of the not-so-wild
(he/him/his)
I "love" how the scare quotes suddenly show up in the PS. I get the impression that our boy here is suddenly worried that ever having played Animal Crossing, or even knowing too much about it, will damage his cred as a big, strong, manly capitalist.
 

Büge

Arm Candy
(she/her)
He's half-right. Tom is not a raccoon, he's a Bake-danuki (化け狸).

That's why all the items in Animal Crossing transform into leaves in a puff of smoke. They're all magical illusions.
 

Positronic Brain

Out Of Warranty
(He/him)
He's half-right. Tom is not a raccoon, he's a Bake-danuki (化け狸).

That's why all the items in Animal Crossing transform into leaves in a puff of smoke. They're all magical illusions.
Illusions, you say? Like the value of money under capitalism? 🤔
 

Exposition Owl

Owl of the not-so-wild
(he/him/his)
Illusions, you say? Like the value of money under capitalism? 🤔

I'm not defending capitalism here, but I think it's worth making the distinction between something that's an illusion and something that's socially constructed. A word has no meaning beyond the one that people give it, just as a commodity has no value beyond the one that people give it, but that doesn't mean that the concepts of linguistic meaning or monetary value are just illusions that we should or can ignore.
 

Sprite

(He/Him/His)
This is why I switched to crypto and only deal in Nook Miles Tickets, free from the controlling influence of… Nook…

wait a minute
 

muteKi

As charming as a grinch
This one's been all over the place but it belongs here
If I have hurt anyone out there, I can’t tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I’m so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos and that’ll be a home run, and so that’ll make it a 4-0 ballgame.
 
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