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Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
I don't understand why, if the film is set in New York, we see Vancouver.
 

Tegan

dirtbag lesbian
(She/Her)
Comment from a hentai site:
i am so stressed and angry all the time. i cannot take living much longer. why did i have to be born. i hate this.hot pic tho
 

muteKi

Hashtag give it to gilly
Well! I guess [name] leaked all our discord convos because I warned two people he was a massive creep!
I may be a huge racist and transmisogynist, but at least I don't constantly talk about being tiny. Try not to shoot up your workplace, buddy.
 

Issun

Let's 90s gaming
For some strange reason, Tinydude is not the one I'm worried about committing a mass shooting.
 

muteKi

Hashtag give it to gilly
Breaking the spirit of the thread to deliver quotes from the most hubristic douchebags of the internet to provide you this fun comment
I hate to objectivy him but every time he's on screen i think "oh, he's so cute!".
 

Zef

Find Your Reason
(He/Him)
Can I send that back in time to every Christian nation that sent out boatloads of people to colonize the savages? Or even just to that one nation that somehow keeps sending planeloads of people to colonize economic interests in the name of freedom?
 

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
(they/them)
9 inch three layer cake. Ecuadorian chocolate cake with Ecuadorian vanilla bean pastry cream, vanilla Swiss meringue buttercream. Contains wheat, egg, and dairy. White frosting with a guillotine on top and assorted buttercream flowers. The flowers are purple, yellow, amd reddish orange. The writing says “Happy Birthday Tevis” in red block print.
 

muteKi

Hashtag give it to gilly
This post may not be fully in the spirit of the thread as it was originally conceived but I think it will grant you the freedom to imagine the post it responds to that would be.

sir, i'm sorry if your college experience gave you PTSD, but I would not quite compare it to serving in Iraq
 

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
(they/them)
"I did put on some darker color on my skin part that showed and I was going about my morning duties, and as there was opportunity to talk with the staff, I would say something or sometimes other staff would say to me, oh you look beautiful, and I would say oh I'm representing Rosa Parks today regarding segregation," she said.

In the interview she explained she doesn’t think there was anything wrong with what she did.

"I never once thought of the word Blackface because I honestly don’t even know that term. I don’t know what people mean by that, I don’t use that language," she said.
 

Mogri

Round and round I go
(he)
Staff member
Moderator
"on my skin part" does not sound like language written by a human.
 

q 3

here to eat fish and erase the universe
(they/them)
When we say Cotton Candy🍬, first thing come to my mind is; it's not healthy, doubting that may be its not safe and it's just pure sweet. But I was wrong, Cotton Candy has it's health benefits, based on research cotton candy helps create new artificial blood vessels. How? Researcher said that, the fiber that make the cotton candy are almost the same size of small blood vessels of our body. Also it has carbohydrates and calories, just like other calories it can also gain weight but the cotton candy has less sugar than one can of a soft drink.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The book in question

 

Daikaiju

Rated Ages 6+
(He, Him)
Oh, I remember that from the original Random Image thread… One of my better choices.
 

muteKi

Hashtag give it to gilly
I don't think that's a trumpet. It looks like a mellophone from this angle, which is an instrument more akin to the french horn (such that one of its primary uses is by french horn players in marching band contexts). It could also be a euphonium, but in my experience those usually have larger bells than the one he's carrying. Hope this clarifies!

EDIT: some discussion suggests it could be a trombone and while the top of the instrument seems consistent with some varieties of trombone I am not sure that it is one, as the distinguishing slide valve does not appear to be present
 
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muteKi

Hashtag give it to gilly
I go into more detail on distinguishing features in my guide to symphonic instruments, May the Sound Wash Over You, whose cover was inspired by the time I heard an outdoor wind band concert near the old city square while on a hunt for mushrooms
 

lincolnic

can stop, will stop
(he/him)
I think it's too big to be a flugelhorn -- the tubing on a flugelhorn goes almost right up to the edge of the bell, but on this one it stops well before that.

With a little Googling I managed to find a more zoomed-in version of the picture, and this horn doesn't have any valves at all. My best guess is that it's a trombone but with the slide either removed or hidden behind his leg.

 

muteKi

Hashtag give it to gilly
The precision of Sonya’s insight into Dawn — and the way she chose to amplify Dawn’s narcissism for fictional purposes — was the real dagger. Her refusal to acknowledge this dagger stabbed it even deeper. A different person might not have been so wounded, and thus so retaliatory. But Dawn (as Sonya well knew) was eager to be recognized for her generosity, not ridiculed. She was openly insecure.
 
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