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Absurd Extracts: What Is the "Best" Post?


Find Your Reason
The above works great on its own, but becomes wonderful in the context of your post in the parallel thread.


Round and round I go
Staff member
Kylo Ren is a tortured business analyst, driven mad by the Empire's (and, later, the First Order's) wasteful expenditures.


Summon for hire
That or he's a tortured Bachelor of the Arts, thwarted at every turn by the Empire/FO's commitment to red-on-black design only.


PayPal once rejected a candidate who aced all the engineering tests because for fun, the guy said that he liked to play hoops. That single sentence lost him the job. No PayPal people would ever have used the world “hoops.” Probably no one even knew how to play “hoops.” Basketball would be bad enough. But “hoops?” That guy clearly wouldn’t have fit in. He’d have had to explain to the team why he was going to go play hoops on a Thursday night. And no one would have understood him.


definitely not a robot
I can't say I know everything about that story, but something about it makes me suspect there might have been some racism at work there.


Let's 90s gaming
I can't say I know everything about that story, but something about it makes me suspect there might have been some racism at work there.
Are you implying that Paypal, a company founded by Peter Thiel and Elon Musk, might have racist hiring practices?

Because you'd probably be right.


I'm torn about this. I discovered this site working on a personal passion project. It's a hip hop musical about Dracula set during his teenage years, sort of a hybrid between Hamilton and Twilight. I was going to title it Fang Rap High School, but then I saw that the URL for FangRapHS.com was already taken. Fortunately I'm also a huge baseball nerd, and the writing here is top notch. So I want the site to succeed, but I also want to URL. Hmm.


Hashtag give it to gilly
Anvil Drop and The Incredible “T” are a couple of non-existant pricing games that appeared years ago in the dreams of our member Mallory16. Since that time, they’ve sort of taken on lives of their own as inside jokes. They have nothing to do with the show in any reality-based sense, but they’ve been brought up so many times on our forums that I feel they merit being explained here.

Anvil Drop was exactly the same as Double Prices, except that there was an anvil hanging over the contestant’s head. As described by Mallory, “if she picked the wrong price, the anvil would fall on her head, presumably killing her. Fortunately, she won.”

Mallory’s original description of The Incredible “T” went as follows: “There were four Ts. You had to pick two of them, and if you didn’t get electrocuted (which one of the Ts would do to you if you touched it), you won.”

The post that introduced these games is unfortunately lost to time, as the original incarnation of our forums was deleted nearly 20 years ago


Hashtag give it to gilly
Rails is omakase. A team of chefs picked out the ingredients, designed the APIs, and arranged the order of consumption on your behalf according to their idea of what would make for a tasty full-stack framework. The menu can be both personal and quirky. It isn't designed to appeal to the taste of everyone, everywhere.

That doesn't mean patrons can't express exceptions. Substitutions are allowed, within reason. So you don't like test/unit? No problem, bring your own rspec. Don't care for CoffeeScript as a dessert? Delete a single line from your Gemfile.

Hell, the menu is even open for suggestions. Good ideas are good ideas regardless of where they come from. But there's a fine line between a friendly suggestion and a belligerent diner. That line is usually exposed when the suggestion is declined: "I'm sorry, but hotdogs don't really fit our sushi menu, and while you may not care for unagi, we picked it for a reason. But thanks for the suggestions!". If only most arguments about the menu would stop there.

But they don't, do they? They usually carry on and on. BUT I REALLY DON'T LIKE UNAGI!!! IT'S OFFENDING MY TASTE BUDS THAT IT'S PART OF THE DEFAULT COURSE SETTING. TAKE IT OOOOOOFFFFF!! Okay, buddy, sit down and have a sake.


Slutshaming women is not ok
Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok
Tumblr logic
he cheated. on his wife.
he’s also been dead for several hundred years this is the funniest post ive ever read in my life
fave things about this post:

  • the idea that thousands of people are calling alexander hamilton a slut
  • calling any founding father a slut
  • the idea that people are SHAMING Alexander Hamilton for being Such A Slut he is being SHAMED for being such a naughty little tart, SPREADING HIS LEGS FOR EVERYONE IN CONGRESS
  • that this was probably prompted by people expression dissaproval for Alexander Hamilton cheating on his wife - that the OP thinks “slut shaming” and “Isnt it gross that he cheated on his wife” are the same thing
  • Alexander Hamilton has been dead for 210
  • 210 slutty, slutty years
  • the way that this is presented in such a CHECKMATE SJWS way when they’re talking about a founding father who cheated on his wife and has been DEAD FOR 210 YEARS
  • the fact that the words “Slutshaming” and “Alexander Hamilton” have been used in the same sentence
  • i mean just apply what we’d traditionally think of as “slut shaming” to Alexander Hamilton.
  • His frock coat is too tight, his breaches are so short, have you SEEN how often he powders his wig??? I heard he gave Thomas Jefferson a handy behind the stables AND that he got fingered by John Hancock
  • i barely know who alexander hamilton is
date of origin: 2014