Merry Christmas, you beautiful old savings and loans!
Kicking things off with the game most receptive of the thread title; Twelve Minutes! A Time-loop whodunnit where you're stuck reliving the last twelve minutes of your life when a cop breaks into your house, accuses your wife of murder and then kills you. This is why they should be defunded.
The game stars Rey Skywalker, The Green Goblin and Professor X, so you KNOW it has a pedigree worth listening to!
And another game that I THOUGHT would have fit with the thread title, but Jbear informs me it's just about seeing emotions instead of time travel, we have Life is Strange: True Colors. The sequel to one of the preeminent Cool, Sad Lesbians in the Mid West games of recent memory! This time, you have the psionic ability to see peoples emotions as swirly magic gas coming out of their head and poke around inside it to find a dang ol' murder guy has been sneaking and poking holes in people! Given the pedigree I will assume the main character is cool, likes smoochin' ladies, and is sad about something.
Presumably the murders.
Next up, and far and away the thing I'm most excited to crack open once the cruel shackles of Santa Law have been broken, is Shovel Knight: Pocket Dungeon. It's a new Shovel Knight game just in time for MEGAMAS to come to a close! But it's also the first Shovel Knight game that doesn't adhere itself to Mega Man-like gameplay (give or take Showdown). This one appears to be a combination of Grindstone and Desktop Dungeons and *buddy, let me tell you* that is one hell of a tasty cobbler right there.
We also have Asteroids Recharged, which is significantly farther down the list of things to get riled up about this week compared to those last few. It's Asteroids, but with fancy-pants glow-y neon graphics, you know, like Geometry Wars. Just with fewer colours and vastly reduced enemy variety.
But hey, Geometry Wars ain't in the eShop so y'know... where else are you going to get that?
Now, what is arguably the most significant release of the week (or year), and definitely one of the most surprising releases in recent memory and biggest surprised for Old Game Preservation; we have Clockwork Aquario! The long lost, thought-to-be unfinished arcade game from Westone (the Wonderboy peeps). Much like Star Fox 2, It was nearly completed decades ago, but shelved and only existed in prototype form. And now, well; they went and finished making it! And here it is!
It's a side-scrolling platformer where you throw peeps at junk! That's always fun! And you couldn't have possibly played it before now! And it's officially dethroned Duke Nukem Forever and Star Fox 2 as being the game with the longest development time!
Omno is next, and from the screenshots I was assuming it was some manner of Journey-em-up, but with a little... matchstick boy instead of a robed kitty, but then I looked at the trailer and NOPE, it's a Zeldo. But it's a Zeldo with some *real nice* art direction and a lot more snowboarding. Trailer didn't explain the game much beyond "enviromental puzzles" and "hit monsters w/ sticks" but, hey, that's a Zeldo for you.
Now what if your favored genre defining Nintendo series isn't Zelda. Maybe it's Metroid. And maybe you prefer your Metroids to instead focus on the noble garbage-baby. To that end, perhaps you'd like Trash Quest. Which is a troids-em-up starring a raccoon! Explore a space station because you are a raccoon! And get your hands on trash, because you are a racoon!
YUP!
The Enigma Machine is a spooky walks-em--up game where YOU get to pretend to be a robot! And find out once and for all if they DO dream of electronic sheep. As it turns out, no they don't. They dream of weird spooky stuff. Sorry, Philip K, you goofed it up pretty bad on that one!
Carebotz is a twin-sticky deal that looks more than passably similar to Galak-Z, except Troidy instead of Rogue-y. And also without the ability to pilot a Veritech Fighter; you're some kind of... i'unno... gun-egg?
Explore a busted up satellite and fix it. And shoot all the BAD BOTS inside it. That's Video Games, baby!
And that's all I know about for now. And presumably all I know about until after Squishmas mornin'. So, though it's been said in many ways, many times.
Merry Video Games, to you.
Kicking things off with the game most receptive of the thread title; Twelve Minutes! A Time-loop whodunnit where you're stuck reliving the last twelve minutes of your life when a cop breaks into your house, accuses your wife of murder and then kills you. This is why they should be defunded.
The game stars Rey Skywalker, The Green Goblin and Professor X, so you KNOW it has a pedigree worth listening to!
And another game that I THOUGHT would have fit with the thread title, but Jbear informs me it's just about seeing emotions instead of time travel, we have Life is Strange: True Colors. The sequel to one of the preeminent Cool, Sad Lesbians in the Mid West games of recent memory! This time, you have the psionic ability to see peoples emotions as swirly magic gas coming out of their head and poke around inside it to find a dang ol' murder guy has been sneaking and poking holes in people! Given the pedigree I will assume the main character is cool, likes smoochin' ladies, and is sad about something.
Presumably the murders.
Next up, and far and away the thing I'm most excited to crack open once the cruel shackles of Santa Law have been broken, is Shovel Knight: Pocket Dungeon. It's a new Shovel Knight game just in time for MEGAMAS to come to a close! But it's also the first Shovel Knight game that doesn't adhere itself to Mega Man-like gameplay (give or take Showdown). This one appears to be a combination of Grindstone and Desktop Dungeons and *buddy, let me tell you* that is one hell of a tasty cobbler right there.
We also have Asteroids Recharged, which is significantly farther down the list of things to get riled up about this week compared to those last few. It's Asteroids, but with fancy-pants glow-y neon graphics, you know, like Geometry Wars. Just with fewer colours and vastly reduced enemy variety.
But hey, Geometry Wars ain't in the eShop so y'know... where else are you going to get that?
Now, what is arguably the most significant release of the week (or year), and definitely one of the most surprising releases in recent memory and biggest surprised for Old Game Preservation; we have Clockwork Aquario! The long lost, thought-to-be unfinished arcade game from Westone (the Wonderboy peeps). Much like Star Fox 2, It was nearly completed decades ago, but shelved and only existed in prototype form. And now, well; they went and finished making it! And here it is!
It's a side-scrolling platformer where you throw peeps at junk! That's always fun! And you couldn't have possibly played it before now! And it's officially dethroned Duke Nukem Forever and Star Fox 2 as being the game with the longest development time!
Omno is next, and from the screenshots I was assuming it was some manner of Journey-em-up, but with a little... matchstick boy instead of a robed kitty, but then I looked at the trailer and NOPE, it's a Zeldo. But it's a Zeldo with some *real nice* art direction and a lot more snowboarding. Trailer didn't explain the game much beyond "enviromental puzzles" and "hit monsters w/ sticks" but, hey, that's a Zeldo for you.
Now what if your favored genre defining Nintendo series isn't Zelda. Maybe it's Metroid. And maybe you prefer your Metroids to instead focus on the noble garbage-baby. To that end, perhaps you'd like Trash Quest. Which is a troids-em-up starring a raccoon! Explore a space station because you are a raccoon! And get your hands on trash, because you are a racoon!
YUP!
The Enigma Machine is a spooky walks-em--up game where YOU get to pretend to be a robot! And find out once and for all if they DO dream of electronic sheep. As it turns out, no they don't. They dream of weird spooky stuff. Sorry, Philip K, you goofed it up pretty bad on that one!
Carebotz is a twin-sticky deal that looks more than passably similar to Galak-Z, except Troidy instead of Rogue-y. And also without the ability to pilot a Veritech Fighter; you're some kind of... i'unno... gun-egg?
Explore a busted up satellite and fix it. And shoot all the BAD BOTS inside it. That's Video Games, baby!
And that's all I know about for now. And presumably all I know about until after Squishmas mornin'. So, though it's been said in many ways, many times.
Merry Video Games, to you.
