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Movie Time 2.0: TT mini reviews

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
The presence of a cat on a spaceship is only slightly less explainable than the presence of a Drippy Chain Room and a harpoon gun on a spaceship
 
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spock-petting.gif
It would strike me as weird if there weren't cats on spaceships
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
And my dad wanted to watched a another sci-fi classic that aged surprisingly well (which is a surprise because this is not his genre), and so we watched the 1953 War of the Worlds

It isn’t as good as Alien, but, well, there’s no shame in coming up as the lesser film to a borderline perfect movie.

The plot, once it got going, never let up, and you can really tell how much Independence Day was a knockoff of this. Visually it’s also incredible looking, still. There’s a few shots where I asked out loud how the hell they managed to film that.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Lately, I've needed to watch some shorter movies and there are that on Shudder so I ended watching two deep cut late stage giallo. And neither of them were good.

The Sister of Ursula is a pretty easy one to predict one of two endings for; one of which could be transphobic and one of which is merely eye-rollingly dumb. Thankfully they went for the latter but it's still a very dumb movie.

Worse is Arabella, the Black Angel, probably the most explicit giallo I've seen yet it actually doesn't make it more interesting save as a weird curiosity (a giallo made in 1989, way past the heyday). There are twists that neither make sense nor don't matter. Why did this guy pretend to be wheelchair bound? It... made his writing better. That's not satisfying and it's way too late in the game to be a good red herring. I also may have missed something about the actual fate of the killer at the end of the movie but I was so disinterested, I can't be bothered to go back and figure it out. As far as I can tell, the killer just wandered away from the movie, maybe. It's a movie that's far more interested in being sleazy than intriguing and it's worth no one's time.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
And tonight, it was Aliens. Which, perhaps unsurprisingly is still at The very top of it’s field.

My father categorically preferred it to the original, my opinion changes depending on which day of the week you ask me. There was a lot of cheering when Burke got got, and he had to leave the room for the climax when it looked like Bishop abandoned them, angrily declaring “this movie sucks”!
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Trying to make more time with Critierion Channel. Aside from watching some short films, I watched the Indian classic Aar Paar. I was excited because it was described as a rom-com noir and aside from Bollywood parodies I'm not actually that familiar with Indian cinema. Unfortunately, the film's noir elements were there but very downplayed and it's really more of a crime caper with very basic morality as opposed to the murky ones of the best noir. Really, it's a rom-com that occasionally dips into crime film. And one that mostly didn't grab me.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
And the “Watching a movie I’m surprised my father hadn’t seen” trend continues with The Thing.

First Five Minutes he says to me “I know they’re the bad guys because good guys wouldn’t be shooting at a dog”.

Took all my self control to maintain a straight face and say nothing.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Been watching more giallo and after the lows I'm getting to some decent stuff. And weirdly all the titles imply a very lurid movie but in fact they are all a little toned down.

Watch Me While I Kill sounds like it is on the trashier end by the title (at least most of the others try to sound poetic) but it's actually a decent little thriller.

Similarly Crazy Desires of a Murderer SOUNDS like it's more lurid than it actually is. It's really just a servicable whodunnit with a bit more sex.

Not really a giallo except for a few gruesome kills is the fun crime thriller The Suspicious Death of a Minor. Sadly, all the descriptions I've read give away the mid-film reveal but basically it is about a brute living in the crime filled street of... an Italian city (I don't remember which one) and giving people beatings and such in trying to get to the bottom of a murder of a young sex worker which leads him to hunting down a killer with some targets. I really enjoyed this one.
 

Olli

(he/him)
The new All Quiet on the Western Front filmatisation didn't really bring much new to the table for war films, but the cinematography and score were both outstanding.
 

Paul le Fou

24/7 lofi hip hop man to study/relax to
(He)
Bullet Train was a delight. The characters, both as written and as performed, really went a long way toward selling this absolutely absurd carnival of good, bad, and mysterious luck. The one character I'll say really didn't work was Michael Shannon - I just didn't buy his performance at all after all the build-up the character got. Lemon was my favorite.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Continuing my weird journey through lesser known giallo because they are short and I don't need to think.

Knife of Ice isn't about a literal knife of ice. Apologies. I kinda saw the ending coming but I was cycling through a lot twist endings that are kind of the standard for "I bet THIS will blow your mind". It's perfectly OK. But lately, I've been noticing a trend and realizing there's a lot of really tame giallo out there. I'm used to it being a genre that's "gory/sexy murder mystery" but I could show this to my mom. It's just a murder mystery, with a few similar stylistic choices to the more famous giallo. That said, it's just an OK movie. Watchable but not terribly memorable.
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
And I’m continuing my journey through watching movies I like that I figure my dad would like too. And therefor Brightburn was our choice tonight.

he doesn’t really read or know comics, so it being a Superman Horror Story completely escaped his notice (“Oh, he reminds me of Spider-Man with the costume” is about as close as he got). And while “Superman, except he’s bad” is as tired a thing to do with the character as there is, Superman as a Horror Movie Antagonist is not, and the movies a real fun romp.

My only complaint is that it sets up a sequel so hard, and I want a sequel very badly, but it’s, like, the only horror movie to never get one.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Orgasmo is NOT to be confused with the Trey Parker movie Orgazmo. Rather than being a superhero comedy about the porn industry, it's an Italian giallo psychological thriller with Hitchcockian twists. And I have mixed feelings on it. It does a lot of things right. I like that through the film it turns a fun pop song into a psychological weapon as a young woman starts spending sexy time with a young man and his sister (yep, sexy time with both) but soon it turns out they might be trying to drive her insane with "fun" (and drug and pill addiction). I like that our heroine is set up that she "could" be unlikable; a woman who gained her wealth being with an older dude who croaks, but it's more that she's... OK. She's not great but not nearly deserving of the torment she goes through and the film doesn't want you to think she is. Maybe she's just a little callous.

But it can be tricky to do this kind of movie right. I don't need a movie to have a happy ending or even present a world that is fair to the protagonist. When the bad guys are constantly 3 steps ahead, it risks straining credibility but MOSTLY this one doesn't (though there's a section that's clearly more for the reaction of the audience than the characters in a segment of the plan that's too needlessly elaborate, even for their sadism). I think the reason it sits ill is there's very little push and pull. Our heroine does fight back but I like to at least have the illusion she has a chance, before they reveal she's fallen further into the web. I guess the movie spends too much time punching her when she's down and it feels a little too mean spirited. And the film does get a karmic ending but one that is really unsatisfying. having the villains die in a car crash only speaks a little too their evil and it feels more like "don't worry, they're dead now" rather than a delicious turn where their own brand of evil is somehow turned back on them. There's a lot to like but in the second half it becomes tiring rather than engaging. A well-made movie that is just a little too nasty.

Also, How Did This Get Made? watched Ski School, so I watched it. Basically, watch this...


Because it's the same thing. If you are thinking "this movie is going to have issues with consent and also maybe some homophobia" you are right but it's a movie with the spirit of the 80s, so it's hardly surprising. A lot of the movie is also improvised, which I believe because the plot makes no sense. Yes, it's the same plot as Animal House but that makes no sense in a ski school. I don't think ski schools have people living in party dorms. Even the movie admits this when the "dean" type expels them and they are like "I don't think you can do that" and he's like "yeah, OK".

Also, apparently there's an entire It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia about this movie.
 

Rascally Badger

El Capitan de la outro espacio
(He/Him)
I know that movie only through the Always Sunny episode, which is largely 20 minutes of everyone realizing that '80's hijinks' is a synonym for 'sexual assault'
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
john Wick 4 is coming out soon, and I realized I still hadn’t seen the third one and therefor John Wick Parabellem was the movie to watch tonight.

It was fine, good even, but it really felt more interested in explaining the worldbuilding of John Wick than focusing on the elegant simplicity of Man Wants Revenge for Dog or Man Must Deal with Unexpected Consequence of Dog Revenge Plan that made me like the first two so much.

The movies over two and a half hours long and, outside of a couple of really really good action sequences, the entire middle third could have been cut entirely.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Rewatched The Pirates: Band of Misfits (I much prefer the overseas title of The Pirates! in an Adventure With Scientists) a fun, silly Aardman film that I wish became a franchise. Especially since the third book is "In an Adventure with Communists" where the pirates team up with Karl Marx against Richard Wagner.

I watched it because on the Octo film discord (I'm sure he'll send you an invite if you want to take part) and I was going to go with the other films of the bi-week The Return to Treasure Island (the Soviet treasure Island with an amazing Dr. Livesay) or Treasure Planet. But Pinocchio (del Toro version) won the Oscar and I decided "Hey, I think I have Netflix".) This movie won it's Oscar. It was described as bonkers and "not for kids" but I think both overstate it. It's definitely a wilder and much darker Pinocchio but kids who are prepared for some dark stuff can definitely enjoy this one. It really does harken to the darker fantasy films of the 80s. Replacing the Coachman with a fascist and Pleasure Island with a Hitler Youth-esque training camp (I know technically not Hitler Youth because it's Italy but same awful vibe) works shockingly well. The whole movie is amazing and I highly recommend it. It continues Del Toro's pet theme about the humanity of monsters (Pinocchio and one of his friends are pretty freaky and unsettling) and the inhumanity of humans and concludes his Children and War triptych. But also, if you liked Over the Garden Wall, this is co-written by Patrick Hale, which I did not realize until the end of the movie but the visuals like the rabbits are SO him.
 

Paul le Fou

24/7 lofi hip hop man to study/relax to
(He)
I finally saw Everything Everywhere All at Once and kinda enjoyed it! I knew there would be goofy stuff from the trailer, but didn't realize how goofy it would be. Although I wasn't surprised since I had just realized that this is the second film by the guys who did Swiss Army Man (which I watched last month entirely by coincidence, or at least, algorithm-boosted suggestion unknown to me). That's the one where Daniel Radcliffe plays a corpse that can propel itself like a jetski through the power of its farts, and Paul Dano plays a sad and lonely man. I thought that was a good look at a creepy fellow learning to maybe respect himself just a little more, and it was deeply silly.

So like I said, I wasn't too surprised at the amount of attention focused on hot-dog-fingers and Raccacoony, and instead found it vaguely delightful. The bit at the end made me cry. I thought it might have been a little bit longer than it needed to be.

The direction and editing awards were completely warranted. Best Picture, I don't know any of the other competitors so I can't say how it compared to the field overall, but it didn't necessarily scream Best Picture at me. Yeoh and Quan gave very good performances and deserved their awards. Jamie Lee Curtis I can only think was given a lifetime achievement award in disguise because her performance didn't really stand out to me beyond doing what the story needed to be done (acting in all those different modes, which is difficult and doing it well is an achievement but doesn't, to me, feel like it deserves an award in and of itself).
 

Octopus Prime

Mysterious Contraption
(He/Him)
Scream 5 got a big ol’ pbbbbth from me.

I mean, yes, it was a basically A remake of the first movie that was being a new movie, and that was the point, but the original was very very good and this was mediocre at best.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
The memed Russian Treasure Island is not bad but in going for comedy it takes away a lot of the good stuff of the original, like the nuance of the Long John Silver character and some twists and Jim Hawkins both has super strength but somehow is a less interesting character (and he's not even that interesting a character in most adaptations compared to the people surrounding him).

But shit, this version of Dr. Livesey is incredible and the internet was right to meme him.


Also LOTS of weird moralizing live action musical numbers that it turns out were just to fill time.
 

Johnny Unusual

(He/Him)
Apparently the artist was a very successful artist for satirical magazines in Kyiv so he may be the Don Martin of Ukraine.

I also rewatched Treasure Planet, a real mixed bag. I didn't mention in my review of Treasure Island but the dude voicing Silver in that one is really good. Though his character lacks the bond with Hawkins I feel is important to both characters, the actor makes him cool, unflappable and reasonable so you believe it when he does change sides, even if the motivation is less engaging.

But Treasure Planet, for it's faults (the humour feels generic 90s Disney) gets one thing dead on; making the heart of the film it's villain. It's interesting because looking at the synopsis of the original novel, Silver gets away in the dead of night unseen but the major adaptations, there's a final goodbye scene between him and Jim. I feel like Silver needs to be a villain not that you love to hate but that you love in spite of his sins because he really does seem to love Jim. He can be treacherous but also heroic. Treasure Planet does right by this and it's really about this relationship and that's where it really works. Flawed movie that has more annoying versions of the classic Disney sidekicks and some of the weakest mealy-mouthed power pop I've heard in a while. But that music is scoring a genuinely touching bonding scene.
 

YangusKhan

does the Underpants Dance
(He/Him/His)
Scream 5 got a big ol’ pbbbbth from me.

I mean, yes, it was a basically A remake of the first movie that was being a new movie, and that was the point, but the original was very very good and this was mediocre at best.
I... disagree (?). I think it's the best sequel this series has had since #2. Whether that makes it "pretty good" or "mediocre at best" is an exercise left for the viewer, I suppose.
 

Paul le Fou

24/7 lofi hip hop man to study/relax to
(He)
X is a slashsploitation send-up that also turns into a bit of meditation on age, youth, and beauty, but in the end it fell kind of flat for me.

Source Code is a perfectly competent, unexceptional sci-fi thriller that feels like it had an extra ending tacked on by the studio. It somehow feels dated at just 12 years old.
 
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