It's dangerous to go alone! Let's Play The Legend of Zelda!

I've been on a Zelda kick as of late, so I opted to start my own Lets Play/Master Class a bit early. Since we have, like, 5 open already, and I'm impatient, I didn't think this would be an issue.

Anyhow, most of the Lets Play try for beating the game quickly and with as few items as possible. This is not how I roll. I play Zelda like Conan enjoys life. I drive my enemies before me, crush them, and hear the lamentations of the Red Octoroks.

My point is that I will be grabbing every item I reasonably can, as quickly as possible. Lets get this train-wreck a rollin':

Also, I apologize in advance for the quality of the screen shots. The Emulator I'm using for this is kind of crummy for them.
Chapter One:
In Which it is Too Dangerous to go Alone
I neglected to get a Screen shot of the opening, but I trust we all know what to expect. Jerk kidnaps Princess, you need a bunch of magic triangles to save the day.

Here you can see that I have opted to name the Great Hero of Hyrule as would benefit a conquerer such as he. A name that shall strike awe and fear into all hearts of the land. I have named him "The Dude". A proud, noble name that shall be struck into the hearts of eternity.

Lets see what he begins his Holy Crusade against the darkest of forces with

...absolutely nothing. The Dude sets off to save the world without so much as a Rupee to his name and nothing more destructive then a heroic cry of "Please, not in the face" to ward off enemies.

Luckily, that cave looks inviting. Think I'll wander on in...

And meet a confused old man offering a Wooden Sword to passers by. A wooden sword that can shoot lasers. The Dude is certainly not one to pass by some charity, Especially the Stabby-kind of charity. He grasps the mighty blade and sets forth. Being sure to note the almost cathartic sound of the Lasers that this wooden sword produces. For a brief, glorious second, The Dude understands his role in the world, and all of Hyrule shall run glittery with the sparkly innards of those who would do her harm.

Normally, one would be in a rush to run off to try to obtain the first Magic Triangle. But The Dude isn't like that. No, he goes in the very opposite direction in an attempt at personal wealth.


As it would happen, the tenth foe that The Dude slew yielded a package of Bombs. A dropped watch turned The Dude into a flashing, indestructible force of pure destruction, moving so quickly that all enemies seemed to halt in motion. But... that statue, it looks like it's been moved recently...


Ahh, underneath that statue is a humble Moblin. Normally such an orange monstrosity would fall quickly to a pair of strikes from The Dude's wooden lasers. This cur realizes this and attempts spare his life by the magic of the bribe. It works and The Dude leaves, 30 Rupee's richer.


Using some of his Bombs to recklessly blast apart the giant spiders who reside within these hills, The Dude inadvertantly blew open an entrance into a hidden cave. What fiend and rogue would be hiding in such a hole?


Ah, another confused old man living in a cave. Hyrule does seem to have a lot of them. Personally, I blame the rising home costs. Also the monster army. Anyhow, this Old Man, unlike the previous Old Man, offers two items, but The Dude can only get one. One is a Potion, capable of bringing one back from the very brink of death, twice. The other a Heart, capable of making one more powerful then ever before. Feeling as though the Potion would be available in stores and pharmacies in the near future, The Dude opted for getting The Heart.

Next-
Will The Dude attempt to go to a dungeon? Will there be more Cave Men? Is there anything less implausible as a weapon then a Wooden Laser Sword?

That was wonderful. Thank you.

Get the wand first. You know you want to.

This thread and I are in love. We're going to run away together and get married and you can't stop us!

ARGH broken images. I hate my office's draconian internet policy.

I think you should do an expose on every single "PAY ME FOR DOOR REPAIR CHARGE" man in the game. Seriously. And none of this "savestate before I go in, open state after I get the screenshot" business, you need to pay every one, full price, or you sir are not a real man.

If you do the second quest, this includes the old men in dungeons who mug you (YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE).

If you don't know where the all are, don't worry, I'm sure I can find a checklist or something somewhere online. I'm here to help!

I've always wondered: on the 2nd quest, if you don't get any heart containers, and choose to relinquish your hearts on those "Your money or your life..." guys, do you die permanently or something?

Oh man, that is so far from what I want to do (Level 6 is rife with Wizzrobes, and Wizzrobes freakin' SUCK). But I will do this. I will do it, because I care.

Well, not first, since I'm playing further ahead then I'm posting. But I won't save it for last. This is my oath to thee.

I think he should find this out for us too.

Because he cares.

I've never made it all the way through this game. I think it is about time I did.

Did Zelda originally come with a pack in map?

They currently occupy slot #3 on my list of enemies that should never have been.

When you get to the sixth dungeon, kill 'em all for me, will you?

So I think all of these Let's Play/Master Classes are totally cool, but at this point they really need their own forum.

...with the candle.

How much do you really care, Octoprime? How much!?

We're just being plain evil...

I tried that before. I believe they're immune.

Also, I care, but I'm not stupid. There's a difference.

Yes, but it was incomplete. If I remember correctly, the top left and top right corners were intentionally left blank.

Yeah, it was just to show where Level 2 was, really.

Incidentally, Wizzrobes are immune to Candles. Yes, I verified.

You DO care!

Admittedly, I'm sick of seeing so many of these threads everywhere, but this one looks to have the mark of greatness. Keep it up!

PROTIP: Don't get the Skeleton Key first. Not only are the blue Darknuts a complete pain in the ass, but having the key makes the game so easy it verges on boring.

Blue Darknuts are a pain in the ass, but they're nothing compared to Blue Wizzrobes when you only have 6 hearts and a small shield.

YEAH BITCHES! I GOT THE WAND WITH A SMALL SHIELD! Expect the update int he not distant future. Probably after my euphoria dies down.

I've never beaten the original Zelda. In fact, I don't think I got past the first dungeon or so, because I could never find any of the other ones. So now I'll finally get to see what's up with this game!

I have two copies of this game for the NES. I don't actually know why.

I'm actually kind of interested in seeing this go to the 2nd quest, since I've never actually seen it past, like, the first dungeon.

Chapter Two:
In Which the Use is Mastered


Adventuring around those hills has revealed to The Dude the existence of yet another helpful Old Man in a Cave. This Old Man possesses a piece of parchment that allows The Dude to purchase the afore-mentioned Medicine. The contents of the Note itself, sadly, are to remain a mystery for all of time. Perhaps it is a prescription and the Old Man needed the medicine himself. Perhaps it’s the fantasy equal of saying “It’s cool, he’s not a cop”. We may never know, but the upside is that The Dude can now purchase the Potions that make the world keep turning.


This Cave holds a somewhat younger man, offering to sell The Dude a Magic Shield, Magic Key and (presumably) Magic Candle. The Shield is prohibitively expensive, and The Dude decides to shop around on that. The Key can be found in the dungeons themselves, and is also expensive. The Presumably Magic Candle, however. That holds some merit, The Dude is not above a little arson in his quest to save the Kingdom. The Dude picks it up, and the Narrator neglects to get a screen shot of the event. Expect that kind of thing to happen a few times before we finish our tale.


The Old Woman that the Old Man mentioned is quick to offer Medicine when the Paper is showed to her, yet she does charge for it. I’d like to think that Hyrule has a pretty decent Health Care system in effect, so I’m starting to think that note might be a little suspect. The Dude has no qualms with liquids of questionable legality, but is going to withhold from purchasing for the time being. He has bigger fish to fry. Dungeon Fish.



Specifically, the third dungeon. Slightly unorthodox to start at #3, but then, The Dude is an unorthodox hero. The Dude is looking to just get the item from this Dungeon, and he is going to earn it.


The second room of the Dungeon is stuffed to the gills with Bots. Had he anything stronger then a Wooden Laser Sword, The Dude would cry out with triumph, for Bots are slow, dumb and mostly harmless. Sadly, the light thwack of Wood causes a Bot to split into two Gels. Gels are slightly faster and never drop items, so these beasts are ignored. Surely there’s nothing worse then a large ball of jelly in this cave…

…I warn you, gentle reader, you may wish to avert your eyes if your constitution is weak


There are older and far fouler things then Bots in this green building. These Red Horrors are all but immune to attacks to their front, and are capable of suffering tremendous damage before falling. These Red Darknuts, ferocious and blighted though they are, are still, by not the farthest stretch, the most fearsome creature under the grounds. Knowing this, surely The Dude can prevail.



Aww crumbs.


After meeting doom at the hands of Red Darknuts many, many times, The Dude descended far enough into the dungeon to find its item, The Raft. In gentler times, one would use this uncomfortable piece of wood to sail the world, explore the lands. Sadly, these are trying times, and The Raft can only be used to enter Level 4 and get another Heart Container. The Dude decides that Hearts are a nice thing to get.



Setting off from this Dock leads to another Old Man with another Heart. Now, with a mighty cry of joy that rends the very skies themselves, The Dude realizes that he has FIVE Hearts. With a smile, he remembers what his mother used to tell him “When you have 5 Hearts, go climb a waterfall”. The statement never made much sense, but then, neither did anything else The Dude had ever been told.

These are the Very Mountains of Madness, found directly to the right of the only Waterfall in Hyrule. Any trek to the East or south is doomed to failure here, as time and space shall warp and send you back to whence you started. Repeated journeying north will eventually hold results, as will West. The Dude heads west.


Here, at the Very Top of the World, sits the most dangerous of all enemies in the Overworld. A Blue Lynel, Capable of firing the very same Lasers from his sword as The Dude himself can. In order to differentiate the Good from the Evil lasers, the beasts don’t make that awesome sound. Whatever is in that cave must truly be worthwhile for it to be so defended…


What’s this? What is this? A New sword? A Stronger Sword? One pure as the Driven Snow, strong enough to unleash pure Hell upon Ganons forces and not made of Wood? “Oh heck yeah, sign me up!” cries The Dude.



Doot-doo-Doo DOOO!

Next-
The Dude finds more treasures, embarks on the most horrible quest ever, and may or may not bother with the whole Triforce thing.

The 2nd Quest involves a lot of hiding in doorways and occasionally jumping out to stab darknuts. I didn't finish it until the GBA version. Considering that Zelda is one of my favorite games ever, that really says something about how difficult the 2nd quest is.

This is my "text message received" sound on my cell.

I think I've found most of the "It's a Secret to Everybody" and "I'll Thank you to pay for Door Repair" guys, but I don't really think a montage of screen shots of staircases would be terribly interesting.

But you tell me.

Incidentally, I agree with Sanagi. I've played this game so freakin' many times that I probably don't even need the NES to enjoy a run-through, and I still haven't finished the Second Quest. That thing is cruel. It was an awesome bonus, especially considering the day and age, but jeez.

You could show screenshots of your rupee count increasing and/or decreasing with each one. One screenshot could be of you 50 rupees poorer, then the next one 100 rupees.

...I think I only took the shots before going into the tunnels, but then, most of them were in rapid succession (Gamefaqs had a handy map that showed where all the jerks were).

Chapter Three:
In Which Power is Played With


Having obtained a blade made of a material twice as powerful as wood, yet no less capable of firing lasers, The Dude remembers another piece of advice handed to him at a young age. It was advice to go forth and find himself a Magic Wand. As previously noted, The Dude had heard of the concept of moderation with regards to equipment, but it didn’t hold any water with him. He sets off, for those same withered woods that he got his Raft in.


Oh cruel fate, oh mean fortune, The Dude has ambled into The Lost Woods. Similar to the Mountain, he is doomed to forever wander this screen unless he can puzzle out the secret to escaping this thrice-blighted wood. Or he walks to the right, since that leads right outside too. Luckily The Dude remembers what some Old Lady said when he paid her and wandered through the true exit of the forest.


Glorious Fortune! The Dude’s bribery paid off with a path through the forest! However… Lynels of both Blue and Red, plus some Peahats. This is a bad omen if ever there was one. If monsters this powerful are just outside Level 6, then what lies within must be altogether worse. The Dude decides to retreat, for now, to restock and bolster his abilities.


Hey, that corner bush looks flammable…


Oh it was flammable. Underneath the bush is another Somewhat Younger Man. In addition to having a curiously inaccessible shop, The Somewhat Younger Man also tries to dissuade our Hero by complaining about his own pricing. This is quite possible the worst business practice I’ve ever seen. Despite his claims, this is about the cheapest Magic Shield The Dude has ever seen, and he knows it.


The Dude is many things, thrifty, green clad, prone to psychotic violent spells re: monsters but he is not a fool. Magic Shield- GET, Defense to various enemy fireballs, magic spells and some smaller lasers obtained. The world becomes a less terrifying place, for his Shield became large.


Not all Old Men in Caves are helpful, offering advice or items. Some are kind of jerks. Oh sure, you blow a hole in his wall and he’s quick to charge you for it instead of extending your life, or paying you to not kill him. The Dude briefly considers smacking him around with his Not-Wood Sword, but decides not to, since those pet flames on either side of him would probably start shooting back in retaliation. Hyrule is weird like that.


Underneath another Armos Statue is another staircase. This one leads too…


Another Somewhat Younger Man with poor customer service skills. This one at least speaks truly, for that Blue Ring is the most expensive object to be seen in all the country. Still, it’s mighty tempting and would go so nicely with that Sword…


Coincidentally, that Blue Ring causes The Dudes defensive power to double, and inspires him to change his clothes too. That’s Handy. The Dude decides that it’s time to leave childhood behind and step forth into the bleakest part of the Kingdom. The Graveyard. Complete with adorable little ghosts.

The spirits in Hyrule are unusually restless, even by fantasy setting standards. Casually bumping into a marker causes a new Ghini to burst forth to torment The Dude. Luckily, destroying the original ghost will causes all the copies to disappear. Normally, these undead horrors would fall like wheat at The Dudes blade, charging forth like a Bull of Righteousness inside Satans China Shop. Not this time though. The Dude decides to run for his life instead.


His continued staggering around a Grave yard haunted by rapidly spawning ghosts proves to be worthwhile anyway, for he uncovers another Hidden Staircase. Whatever could be inside?


Sweet Dins Fire! A Magic Sword! A weapon feared by all! With this blade, even if The Dude were to face God, He would be cut down. This deadly a weapon has no place in the hands of a child. The Dude accepts this, and shall leave until such a time as he proves his worth. His worth would probably be proven by having a Health Meter of no less then 12 Hearts. He bares a fond farewell to his future killing implement and returns to the task at hand.


But first he wanders through another field of living statues and finds a Power Bracelet. It is handy device capable of moving entire hillsides. Only certain Hillsides though, and moving them only reveals another Staircase that leads to other hillsides scattered through the countryside. Who built such a roadway is yet another unanswered question. Well, let us get grave-robbing.



Level 6 is the Dungeon that holds the Magic Wand. A potent weapon comparable in strength to the Not Wood Sword and it always shoots lasers, regardless of The Dudes current health level. Such a weapon would probably have some degree of defence around it, but maybe nothing particularly nasty. The Dude soldiers forth aware that there’s probably something nearby.


OH SWEET MERCY NO! This Dungeon is home to the single greatest horror in Hyrule history. It is a pestilence which causes convulsion of pure abject horror in all who hear its name. It has a name said to frighten disobedient children, and cannot be spoken without cringing. Here there be Wizzrobes. They are monsters wielding outrageously powerful magic, capable of teleporting at random throughout the room, and needlessly durable for fighting with a Not Wood Sword. Luckily, these are just the Red variety. Things get worse.


Oh, a room full of Bots. Seeing a room full of such harmless creatures somehow frightens The Dude more then anything else so far. It is the calm before the storm.


THIS ROOM IS WHAT HELL LOOKS LIKE! Besides the teleporting Red Wizzrobes, there are the far more powerful Blue variety and… Like-Likes. Immense parasitic worms who can devour Magic Shields. It is entirely possible that this room the worst thing you’ve ever laid witness too, dear reader. The Dude perishes in this hall many, many, many, many, many times. Also, he lost his Shield to a Like-Like. Damn mooching worm.


Here it is. The Magic Wand, the same item that gives the Wizzrobes their magic power.
It has been said that those who fight monsters must take care, lest they become one themselves. Knowing this, does The Dude want to be the kind of guy who is quick to wield the very same powers he himself has dedicated himself to eradicating.

“I Want to Be That Guy”, Cries The Dude. His fate has been sealed, and the Wand is his.

He then retreats for the entrance again, having gotten what he came in for.