Tecmo Super JRPG! Let's Play Secret of the Stars! Blind!

Hello there, everyone! Long time no see! I decided that it's high time that I do another Let's Play, because I make poor life choices. My previous Let's Plays have been deep dives on childhood favourites that I know inside and out. This... will not be that.



"A Fantasy"

I know absolutely nothing about Tecmo Secret of the Stars. The entirety of my familiarity with it is seeing it in Nintendo Power and thinking "this is a dumb ugly JRPG for babies", and noting that the box art had strong "redrawn for American audiences" energy. It had the misfortune of coming out in North America at roughly the same time as Chrono Trigger, and well... it is somewhat less beloved than history's most adored JRPG. However, in the many years since, I've come to realize that I love playing old RPGs for the first time and meeting them on their own terms. There's a lot of fun to be found if you can check your preconceptions at the door. I've played a lot of old RPGs that way in recent years (favourites of the past couple of years include FF3, DQ3, and Treasure of the Rudras), and this time I've decided to bring Talking Time along for the ride!

I genuinely have no idea what I'm in for here. Maybe you do! If so, kindly refrain from spoiling me, because I want to experience this unsullied. There will be no save states or fast-forward button employed here, and certainly no FAQ consultation. For that matter, I'd also encourage folks to try and avoid the urge to be too snarky or mean to the game. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'll be poking fun when there's fun to be poked, but ultimately I'm here to have fun, and you should be too! Games are fun! Let's have fun together!

Finally, I'm going to try and take things a little looser with this one. My previous Let's Plays all stretched on for years because I spent way too much time making everything "perfect", so I'm going to try and fight that urge and just get this done in a reasonable time-frame. Wish me luck!

(I already made a GIF for this introductory update-- I'm doomed. >_<)

With that out of the way, let's get started!



I can't wait to find out what the world's finest purveyor of football ninjas has in store for me!



It's those guys what make the Marios! They put their official seal of quality on cover!



The game wastes no time showing me an introductory scene. I haven't even touched a button yet!



Our hero is apparently a nerd.



As a matter of fact, I do!



Wait, so is this guy an author or some kind of retired adventurer? Both?



The screen fades to black with what feels like may have been a title drop in the original Japanese as the music gets appropriately twinkly...



...and fades back in with a single blinking "star", which is quickly joined by four others.



Then the five collapse to a single point...



...before exploding outward. Exciting!



The title slowly mode-7s its way to the screen from behind the "camera"...



...and a bi-plane flies in from the left side of the screen as the buoyant title screen music cuts in. Alrighty, it's finally time to get started! I'm excited!



Aw, dangit. I wanted to play more! Quick, Talking Time, decide on a name for our hero! Presumably it's the old guy or the blond kid? It looks like you have 6 characters to work with, as well as upper and lowercase, but no special characters other than the few that are visible above. Don't leave me hanging!

Pants

Hooray! This should be fun!

I'm going to start greeting people with "I know you're here daily".

Random name suggestion: SCOOTY

...I'm expecting this to be very entertaining.

Call your hero Starro. He shall be the true Star Conqueror.

I don't so this will be new for me as well.

Starro is a very good name.

Did some free associating with "star" and the first name that came to mind was Ziggy.

Thirding "Starro"

ahahaha, this game

Well, this oughta be entertaining.

All caps isn't a great first impression!

Remember how the back of the 7th Saga box says you won't be ashamed to name the characters after yourself? I think you should go that route here.

Don't look into the Death Star, or you will die.

PS. You seem to be right about the box art being redrawn for America ("pentagrams considered harmful").

Starro gets my vote too!

I played some of this game when I was younger, and I recall it being an ok game. Certainly not great, but not a dumpster fire.

I like naming the character JBEAR after Mogri’s suggestion.

- Eddie

Clearly the character's name should be "FANTASY."

Name everyone STARS

STARS, you and STARS need to find the STARS.

I'll change my vote to JBEAR.

Split the difference; JSTAR

Don't think I don't see you trying to sneak a JoJo into my Let's Play, you delinquent Octopus.

ETA: Anyway, presuming that Octo's vote has changed, that leaves us currently at 3 for Starro, 3 for JBEAR, and 1 each for Ziggy, STARS, & JSTAR (Drac's vote isn't being counted because he can't read). Someone hurry up and untie this so I can play more!

alright alright I vote "STARRO"

ETA: if only because this forces you to put an american comic book reference in your japanese video game

Hey, there should be 1 vote for PANTS!

(Sorry, I guess I missed one.)

JSTAR!

EDIT: oh i misread the vote counts

JBEAR!

I don't really care what the name is. I just want it to get started!

Hey, be careful - do you want Nemesis to start attacking us?

I was going to nominate JUrsa but I guess it's already over.

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to Let's Play Tecmo Secret of the Stars! Buckle in, because judging by my draft screenshot count (~700!), this accidentally turned into the longest LP update that I've ever done!



When last we left off, we were staring at that most intimidating of all video game barriers: an empty name box. Fortunately, the rest of ya'll have my back!



I feel like I was quite clear that lowercase letters were a possibility here, but I'm going to choose to interpret the fact that the large majority of votes were for ALLCAPS as a gesture towards meeting the game on its own terms, in which case I heartily approve!



At any rate, an amazing name.



It looks like we're the blond kid after all. I am every so slightly disappointed.



We named this character JBEAR, and as everyone knows, the first thing that JBEAR does after setting out on an adventure is head right back to bed, because fuck this. As you might expect, this triggers a long fanfare and a fade to black, and presumably fully heals us.



We found an antidote! The game is very excited about this!!

Anyway, I guess I'm rubbing up against every cupboard and pot from now on. I always like when a game makes this clear right away by having a hidden item in the starting area, instead of lulling you into complacency and then hiding stuff that way later on.



This sure looks like the exit, but it doesn't seem to be functioning as one at present.



It feels a bit quick to be resorting to small talk. Note that each text character makes a little tapping noise as it appears onscreen, giving dialogue the feel that it's being typed out on an old typerwriter.



IT IS VERY PRECIOUS TO YOU.

Don't tell me how to feel, Mom.



I'm sure we won't have to worry about either of these things.



Score! I knew that pot was calling my name.



Fuck yeah! We got a PLUM-PLUM!!

What, uh... what exactly is a plum-plum?



Ohhh, a plum-plum.

(The inventory provides no further information. Your guess is as good as mine!)

I am surprised to discover that it is the B button that opens the menu screen, rather than the Start button or X/Y. Upon further investigation, none of the buttons save A & B seem to do anything.



Apparently we can leave now! Presumably small talk with Mom was the trigger.

I guess my full name is JBEAR SONYA.



Big mood.



I like-a-do sound of that.



Yes loot gimmie.



I could be obtuse here, but I feel like this makes it pretty clear that plum-plums restore HP.



It is just an ordinary well.



I start screwing around with the menu screen at this point and quickly note the return of my least favourite feature from Phantasy Star: a blinking arrow cursor. Looks like I get to spend yet another entire game taking every screenshot two to three times to make sure I capture the arrow!



Hey, we're outside! The overworld music is nice. You'll have to take my word for it, though, because one of the time-saving measures I mentioned earlier is not providing every piece of music in triplicate this time around. Feel free to go find the music yourself, though! It's about what you'd expect.



If there's any way to save our game from the menu, then I'm not able to find it yet, but while I'm looking I come across this controller configuration menu which seems to confirm that this game uses exactly two of the SNES controllers many buttons. Thanks to this innovative design decision, I am afforded incomparable flexibility in mapping my two existing buttons. Just think of how many different pairs I could assign!

(Does anyone know this game's development history? Could it have originally been intended for a different platform, I wonder?)



How mysterious!



STAT is, of course, short for STATUS... and for "SORT"?



Here's our current stats. Subject is hat-less, I repeat, hat-less.

Also, can I just say how much I love "LATER"? I had a good hearty laugh when I first saw it. I presume this means that we need 12 more experience points to reach level 2.



As we set out for adventure, two things quickly become apparent:



1. We are on an island.



2. It is not very big!



As we are exploring our tiny island, however, the screen suddenly gets blurry. You all know what that means!



A slime approaches! Command?

I can't help but notice immediately that there is an AUTO button. Given how introductory JRPG combat typically goes, I expect we'll be making extensive use of this in the future, but let's get our feet wet first before I flip the switch.



I never turn animations off in a video game. Never. If throwing myself against Hector Hard Mode over and over didn't get me to do it, then nothing will.

MSG SPD is interesting, though. A friend just told me that he just discovered this week that you can adjust this in the original Final Fantasy for NES. I weep for his childhood.



It looks like 24 is the max, which is a lot higher than I was expecting...



...or is it?



So, our message speed can be set to a number somewhere between 0 and infinity. Simple!

I leave it at the default setting to start.



It looks like you program in the actions for each character, and then they are summarized on a final confirm screen before you commit. I think some old CRPGs worked this way?



JBEAR comes out swinging!



A single blow is enough to fell the mighty slime.



The remaining slime doesn't seem particularly motivated to avenge its fallen comrade, doing only a single point of HP damage, out of our total pool of 32.



Round two, FIGHT!



This combat animation is adorable. Look at him swing his little knife!



We win!



Climb the ladder, Monty. Climb the ladder.



I wish I was ever as excited about anything as this game is about PLUM-PLUM.



With our circuit of the island complete, there's nothing left to do but enter this little town.

As you might expect, we have arrived in Likado. Let's talk to some folks!



This seems fine.



Good talk.



Um?

I guess he was pretty good in A Few Good Men?



Wait. Figurative monster, or literal monster? (The answer is probably "yes".)



I'd love to drive a Jeep Volcano.



Mysterious natural disasters are causing monsters to run amok, in case you forgot you were playing a JRPG.



A, finally, a whiff of plot hook. We'll have to investigate these leads further!



...Also a whiff of plot hook?



I mean, I don't see that we have much choice, friend, unless you're volunteering to join us?

Now that we've spoken to all of the townsfolk outside, it's time to start poking our heads into houses and snooping in everyone's sock drawers, as is proud RPG hero tradition.



So this house looks very familiar!



Some loot hiding in these drawers confirms that we haven't wandered our way back home.

(I assume that ANTISTOP cures a STOP status ailment.)



We can also sleep in the beds here, though, so maybe the jury is still out. We rest our weary bones and restore our single missing point of HP.



N-no?



I do not forgive you.



That's right, it's me, JBEAR! From the internet!



You should have seen his act. It was great.



David of Kustera here is about to dump a lot of plot on us, so I'm going to transcribe it below:

OUR WORLD WILL BE CONSUMED BY DARKNESS IF HE IS NOT STOPPED. YOU MUST SEEK OUT THE CREST OF STARS SOON. THEN YOU CAN BE CALLED "AQUTALLION WARRIOR". ONLY WHEN YOU BECOME THE AQUTALLION WILL YOU BE ABLE TO DEFEAT HOMNCRUSE. THE CREST OF STARS IS LOCATED SOMEWHERE IN THE MOUNTAIN. HURRY! JBEAR! HURRY! FIND THE CREST QUICK. BEFORE HOMNCRUSE GETS HIS TRUE POWER BACK!

This is a script begging for some localization love, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I find these kinds of awkward workmanlike translations adorable. It makes me nostalgic for early English fan patches. Those are some pretty unwieldy proper nouns they're swinging around here, but at least they're spelling them consistently! Hopefully it won't stand in the way of us figuring out how to progress, at least.

*ominous thunder sounds in the distance*

The next house at least looks different, so they're not all identical to our home.



Aw, this old dude just wants someone to read him a story.



...Yes?



I'm assuming that this guy would have sent us to see Ben of Kuchera if we'd spoken to him first.

Anyway, I love his hair. Strong Nash from Lunar energy.



I don't know what's in this house, but I love the dopey icon above the door.



! Oh hey! We're in the house from the intro!



Oh my god, you guys, I love Uncle Save.



God, how fucking great is this as a justification for a save system? He's a guy who literally transcribes adventures in-universe. I love it. Also, have I mentioned that his name is Uncle Save. His name is Uncle Save.



It looks like we have a healthy three slots to work with.



We're not done yet, Uncle Save! This update is barely getting started!

(Given what's coming, I probably should have stopped here.)



Fact: JBEAR can't pass a bed without sleeping in it. I thought we were supposed to be "role-playing"?



Please explain what EXPLAIN does.



Oh my god, please EXPLAIN BREAD to me. Given all that I've been hearing lately about yeast and starter cultures, I could really use it!



Yeah, that's about what I thought.



Given the tense, I guess we already used this antidote. That's a time-saver!



"AND SO ON"



It doesn't seem like the loot that we've found thus far is worth much. I probably wouldn't want to sell it anyway, but it's good to know.



I love this shopkeeper's apron, although I'm unclear if it's the blacksmithing kind or the merchant kind.



The fact that he's the armour seller does nothing to help disambiguate it.



Please, EXPLAIN HATS to me.



A surprising statement from a dude who is clearly balding.



Please look forward to my line of "THIS IS TOUGH FROM POISON" shirts and other merch.

Presumably this prevents us from being poisoned? This might be an early shopping priority, if so.

Neither of the remaining armours have any special effects.



Nor do any of the weapons that the other merchant is selling, although I suspect the SHRTSWRD here has the special effect of hitting a lot more effectively than our starting KNIFE.

Give Slime Plum-Plum. EDIT: Dang, missed our chance.

Also, you aren't Dragon Quest, Secret. You don't have to have "slime" or start with them. That said, they are certainly legally distinct from DQ slimes (both the cute ones from Dragon Quest and the less adorable ones growing behind your local Dairy Queen's Blizzard mixer).

What I hope is found in Jeep Volcano.