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LET'S STREAM LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - Teen Cyclops Simulator 2015
Hello Ladies and Gentelmen, welcome to Let's Stream Love at First Sight. Love at first sight is a visual novel first made available in English on Steam in May of 2015. The more astute among you might notice that May 2015 is also the month this LP is getting posted! That's right people, Talking-Time.net has it's very own dude that rushes to do a video LPs of brand-new games with a face-cam & a shitload of booze. We've finally arrived. Love at first sight is a visual novel with emphasis on the "novel". There are no choices, no challenges, no failure states, and no multiple endings. Some people would claim that means it's not a "game" at all. To those people I say "shut the fuck up you pedantic nerdlinger". The battle for what qualifies for the lofty title of "video game" is one fought exclusively by idiots, and anyone trying to fight it in this thread can fuck off back to their village, which dearly misses you and has been writing passive-aggressive Facebook updates about how they're the only one that really gets you. Phew! Glad that's out of the way! Okay, Now that we've established that video games are a valid medium for focused storytelling, let's take a look at that story! ... Oh. Oh no. Please god no. YOUTUBE PLAYLIST Last edited by BEAT; 06-01-2015 at 01:25 PM. |
#2
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Oh, BEAT.
BEAT, I'm so sorry. |
#3
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Wait, it's not interactive? I thought that was, like, a requirement. (Wikipedia tells me I'm wrong about this, but mentions that visual novels without decision points are limited to "shorter works.")
Steam recommended this game to me. I don't know what I did to deserve that. |
#4
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I believe they just called it a kinetic novel in the stream, which is basically just a (generally porny) novel with pictures.
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#5
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SERIOUSLY GUYS.
Last edited by BEAT; 05-26-2015 at 12:36 PM. Reason: SERIOUSLY. |
#6
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EPISODE ONE: MEET MY WA'EYE'FU
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - ACT I "CATCH MY EYES" AKA: MY CHANCE MEETING WITH MOE KAWAII MONSTER GF CAN'T BE THIS CLICHE! COOL KIDS EATING LUNCH TOGETHER Caliscrub - Patito - FanboyMaster - Smiler In which we are an ordinary high school studentTM go to another ordinary day of high schoolTM where nothing interesting ever happensTM. We hang out with our exceedingly normal friends and live our exceedingly normal life in perfect normalcy, because everything is normal and not weird. But then our lives suddenly get turned upside down, when we happen across sad, obviously-bullied monster girl! WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED?! DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy (Rum & Ginger Ale) IN PROGRESS Cuba Libre (Rum & Cola) TOTAL: 1.5 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: BUZZED BEAT: Also, I take offense to you calling her "Powerful Monster Girlfriend". Powerful Monster Girlfriend can crush you with her enormous snake body. PATITO: Yeah she's uh, she's not very powerful. BEAT: This is bullied monster girlfriend. This is weakling monster girlfriend. Last edited by BEAT; 05-26-2015 at 04:05 PM. Reason: IT TOOK ME 20 MILLION HOURS TO THINK UP OF THAT TITLE TEXT. |
#7
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I'm glad you dressed for the situation. It really shows how much you care about your beautiful new love.
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#8
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I am proud to have witnessed this along with my friend:
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#9
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - ACT II "HAVE AN EYE FOR..." AKA: SHE LIKES MANGA I HAD BETTER GIVE HER ALL THE MANGA THAT EVER WAS COOL KIDS EATING LUNCH TOGETHER Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler In which Mamoru and Cyclops Lass take turns fleeing eachother, then finally have something resembling a conversation! Cyclops Lass makes a critical tactical error of revealing to a nerd that she doesn't totally hate comic books, so Mamoru responds by bringing her all the comic books ever, and uses it as an excuse to follow her home like a puppy. DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy Cuba Libre IN PROGRESS Captain Do (Rum & Mt. Dew) TOTAL: 2.1 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: TIPSY BEAT (Reading): Until up now [sic] I was fixated on her eye, but the rest of her is pretty striking as well! BEAT: So now he's staring at her tits. Gahitsu: Oh yes. BEAT: Just gonna look at them titties. Caliscrub: Does she only have one breast? Last edited by BEAT; 05-27-2015 at 09:33 AM. |
#10
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - ACT III "HAVE ONE'S EYE ON" AKA: A VERY DELICIOUS FORCE LUNCH FOLLOWED BY GLORIOUS WORDS WAR PUNKS EATING LUNCH UNDER THE STAIRS Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler The act kicks off with our best bro who's dating the hyperactive girl dropping by Mamoru's place and being like "Yo you like this girl, right?" Of course Mamoru gets all like "hahah whaaat of course not man you're crazy", which makes him a giant fucking liar. It's cool though, that's just what trash animes do. The majority of their existence is desperately denying the fact that they experience crushes to anyone within earshot. Then we get some totally-not-sexual bento eating, and meet a mean girl named Sadokawa*, because subtlety. We engage her in a "Verbal duel" that's quite possibility the most amazing thing I have ever recorded and I'm not even fucking kidding. Goddamn amazing. *I'm not actually 100% sure of her name other than the fact that it's Sado-something. But it doesn't matter because Caliscrub immediately dubs her "Stone Cold Beitch" which is a much better name. DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy Cuba Libre Captain Do IN PROGRESS *NOT YET REPLENISHED* TOTAL: 3.0 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: DRUNK BEAT (Reading): Oh shit! are we just giving her... [LONG UNCOMFORTABLE PAUSE] Smiler: THE D! Smiler: The reason why we don't know if there's a porn version is because it's on the darknet. FanboyMaster: You can only purchase the porn version for BitCoin. Caliscrub: Hey! Don't bring BitCoin into this! BitCoin has not wronged you! Last edited by BEAT; 05-27-2015 at 12:04 PM. |
#11
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I'M SO IN LOVE THAT I'M FEELING LIKE GARFIELD
This is the part where things start getting TRULY weird.
And I'm saying that about a game where the entire premise is "awkwardly hit on a girl with one eye the size of a volleyball". Last edited by BEAT; 05-27-2015 at 02:40 PM. |
#12
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WHY DO I EVEN POST THESE?
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - ACT IV "SEE EYE TO EYE" AKA: DOKI DOKI DAY OUT TOUCH HEARTS & RUB SCARS MOVIE SWEEPSTAKES ENTRANTS Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler Mom (PHOTO NOT AVAILABLE) won free tickets to a movie! But she's not gonna go, because any movie that's not Fury Road is for squares so Mamoru gets the ticket. After a lot of hand-wringing and needlessly tormenting his friends, he decides to give the other ticket to Cyclops Girl, because of course. Smiler: I hope it's not a 3D movie. Anyways then it's off into TOWN for one of those things that's totally a date even though everybody's too nervous to call it one. Caliscurb swears that somewhere buried in all that skippable text is Mamoru trying to get Sachi to wear sunglasses because lol cyclops, but I didn't catch it. Also I think that's the first time I actually used Cyclops Girl's actual name in any of these writeups wow damn. But nothing that's happened so far even ranks when we suddenly crash headlong into what can only be described as an earnest celebration of scar rubbing. I assure, you everybody on the call flipping their shit is completely genuine. And as the narrative reaches new sappy romance heights I stand defiant in the valley, cursing the foul earth that allowed this to happen. DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy Cuba Libre Captain Do IN PROGRESS Rogue Dead Guy Ale TOTAL: 3.2 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: REALLY DRUNK Smiler: Look, there's no bangin' in this game so there's no mom to bang in this game. Patito: Your mom is not a disinterested schoolgirl, so we could not be bothered to draw her. Last edited by BEAT; 08-12-2015 at 09:50 AM. Reason: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? |
#13
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I think the only appropriate response is to repost the following conversation (not in the original order) from the Ho-Hum Fanart Thunderdome:
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#14
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Oh God I just noticed in her first appearance she has this one giant eyebrow which, of course, is visible over her hair because anime.
At first I thought it was the seam from her bandage, but nope. Giant eyebrow. Visible over her hair, AND the bandage behind her hair, apparently! I guess it just kinda floats in front of her forehead? |
#15
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I am desenitized to the point that when I see Cyclops Lass I just go "whatever".
But then it suddenly moves and I'm "AAAA GOD WHY FUCKIT PLEASE STOP". |
#16
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Spoony? That's not an eyebrow.
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#17
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I don't know if it was the animation, or just the idea itself, but I'm scarred for life.
I can't look at cyclopses the same way ever again. |
#18
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I can get behind the idea of a visual novel in general, even if it isn't interactive beyond clicking on to the next screen. There must be ones that are better than this.
I've watched just the first ep so far. Even zapping through the text as Beat is, it's SLOW! You've got something between a novel and a comic, so it should be kinetic, suspenseful, emotionally engaging, something. Instead right out the gate you've got screens and screens of foofaraw where protag faffs on about the school and has interminable conversations with boring friends. The idea of a battered monster girl could be cool, if she's given something to do aside from responding to the protag (not yet? ever?). Also: she has a tear duct on both sides? |
#19
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - ACT V "CRY ONE'S EYE OUT" AKA: THINGS ARE GOING SO GOOD WE HAD BETTER BREAK UP RIGHT NOW FOR SOME REASON MOVIE SWEEPSTAKES ENTRANTS Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler I think it's safe to say this episode starts off with a bang- BEAT: I HOPE YOU DIE!! ...because it's finally time for the game to show off it's storytelling chops with a chunk told from Saki's perspective! A rare opportunity to see the world through the eye of someone truly unique! Surely the developers will use this portion to impart keen insight on the suffering of one who's born different in a world that values normalcy, right? Lol no. Saki decides to break up with Mamoru even thought they never officially entered a relationship because "drama". Mamoru's like "Or instead we can date for real" and Saki's like "Sob cry yeah alight." Logically the rest of the act should be just standard "now we are a couple" shit. And it is, until suddenly things get weird. "Oh come on now BEAT" you might be tempted to say. "It's a game about hitting on a bullied Cyclops. You should have expected weird." Call me a fool if you must, but I don't think ANYONE could have called the stuff that starts happening around 8:20. DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy Cuba Libre Captain Do Rogue Dead Guy Ale IN PROGRESS *NOT YET REPLENISHED* TOTAL: 4.0 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: WASTED BEAT (Reading): I'm just touching her wound, but it's starting to feel like I'm doing... much... BEAT: UUUUHH! UUUUUGGGGHHH! UUUUHHH! Patito: I guess it's a- It's a metaphor for... uh... Caliscrub: For all ages! Smiler: Well it's a metaphor until he sticks it in there. BEAT: Oh god. Last edited by BEAT; 06-01-2015 at 06:45 AM. |
#20
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It's a shame you don't have the chatbox recorded BEAT, as there was some choice commentary there at that part.
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#21
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Quote:
It's honestly really frustrating, because I love the element of human interaction the chat can offer, and this whole video series, (due to aspect ratios and webcam feeds) has a giant blank space in every frame that's just begging to be filled in with the written wisdom. Next time I record something like this, I'm gonna actually take some time to see if I can figure out a fix or a workaround. You guys deserve at least that much. |
#22
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I was doing PRETTY GOOD with the two-a days things, in some vain attempt to match the terrifying efficiency of my Sword of Asumi and dinner date LPs.
But work was crazy yesterday. And I forgot my headset today. So I can't covertly listen to the episode while I work to do writeups at lunch. So yeah the rest gets posted on the weekend. I'd say something like "I'm sorry" But honestly I'm showing you all more mercy than you deserve. That and Monday marks the beginning of Close, so if I don't get them up by then, they'll NEVER GO UP AT ALL. |
#23
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You know what's really killing me? The art in this game shows a distinctive sense of style. It looks really good! EXCEPT FOR THAT FUCKING EYE
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#24
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - ACT VI "UP TO ONE'S EYE" AKA: I WANT TO TAKE MY CUTE GIRLFRIEND ON A DATE WHERE NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS. MALL PATRONS Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler Mamoru takes Sachi on some kinda date? I guess? Maybe? Huh. Yeah some kinda date. They run into girl who's probably insane and dude who's sick of your shit who are presumably on some much more interesting and fun date and... that's it. That's all that fucking happens. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DRINK. DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy Cuba Libre Captain Do Rogue Dead Guy Ale IN PROGRESS *WHERE IS IT I NEED IT NOW GOD DAMN YOU.* TOTAL: 4.0 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: NOT WASTED ENOUGH. BEAT (Reading): I'll try to make it as fun for Sachi as I can! I like it when she smiles so much! [LONG UNCOMFORABLE PAUSE] BEAT: I need another fuckin drink. *STANDS UP AND LEAVES* I can't! I can't even deal! I can't- |
#25
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - FINAL "MY EYES ON YOU ON YOUR EYE ON ME" AKA: IN MY TIME I HAVE DONE SUCH SIN. IT IS ONLY RIGHT THAT I SUFFER FOR IT. SCHOOL BULLIES. Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler In which we are suddenly treated to a look at life through the eyes of Rui Sadokawa: a full on sociopath that hates everyone and beats the shit out of Saki because why not and FUCK YOU IN PARTICULAR. I read more of her lines than anyone else's in the game because she's just so captivatingly crazy. But suddenly Mamoru shows up out of goddamn nowhere and saves Rui from going to jail by preventing her from actually fucking murdering Saki in a bad push down the stairs! Rin responds with graditude by claiming that she will just transfer schools so wtfever later nerds. And... that's it. That's seriously it. I smash down my final drink and relish in my newfound freedom. It's over! It's finally over! DRINK TALLEY KILLED Dark 'N' Stormy Cuba Libre Captain Do Rogue Dead Guy Ale ANOTHER Rogue Dead Guy Ale TOTAL: 5.0 BEAT IS CURRENTLY: SHITHAMMERED Mr Chris (read by Smiler): Epilogue: Blaze and get Eye BEAT: 420 Blaze it mother fucks. Last edited by BEAT; 08-11-2015 at 10:52 AM. |
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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - BONUS VIDEO! GALLERIES & EPILOGUE SCENES AKA: BEAT CLICKS THROUGH A BUNCH OF BONUS ART WHILE DRUNK & BELLIGERENT PEANUT GALLERY Caliscrub - Patito - Gahitsu - FanboyMaster - Smiler In which we check out the game's extras menu, which, in a production like this, is basically where all the post-game content goes. That said I don't actually think it was ever actually ever blocked off? Like, we probably could have gone in there without ever actually playing the game? I guess? At any rate there's galleries of all the game's art and Videos. Then we get to the image sets containing prototype and concept art, which includes evidence that at one point this storyline actually had cyclops girl get beat up so bad she was sent to the fucking hospital. I'm sincerely glad that part got left on the cutting room floor. There's also an Afterword from the creator, and a bunch of bonus scenes that take place after the main story is finished. I almost read them. Almost. BEAT IS STILL: SHITHAMMERED Smiler: Oh man, prototypes. BEAT: Prototype shit! Caliscrub: That's actually more frightening than what we actually got Last edited by BEAT; 08-12-2015 at 09:53 AM. |
#27
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This picture is delightful.
Thank you, BEAT, for suffering so we don't have to. Absolutely worth nine bucks. |
#28
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EPILOGUE BONUS POST!
SO BEAT TELL US WHAT YOU REALLY THINK. There's no shortage of valid criticisms I could use to claim that Love at First Sight is a bad game. The plot is predictable, and acted out by anime stereotypes that we've seen a million times before. The writing is dull, except when it derails into in-dept descriptions of rubbing someone's hand or patting their head, at which point it's just weird. The villain has no logical reason for her actions, she's just there because someone needs to be bullying Sachi so the player character can get all the protective. And speaking of "protective", I would be much remiss If I didn't point out that the whole "defend helpless girl" thing is very much a sexist male fantasy. The problems with Love at First Sight are so immediately apparent that anyone who watched the videos or even just read the little blurbs I wrote beneath them is fully equipped to absolutely savage the game in the form of a 10-page Polygon thinkpiece. I don't need to tell you how much this game sucks, because I just finished posting 2 hours of myself drunkenly ranting about how much it sucks. So instead of continuing to beat that particular dead horse, let's take this in a slightly different direction. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS WAY, WAY BETTER THAN SWORD OF ASUMI. That's not exactly a difficult bar to clear, but my experiences with this genre are pretty limited. Still, when you put them next to eachother, First Sight absolutely crushes the competition. It has less characters than Sword, but they feel more like actual people compared to Sword's crew of screaming anime stereotypes. They both use anime art, but First Sight has something resembling a unique style while sword remains entirely cookie-cutter and generic. They're both kind of obviously fetishy, but First Sight's esoteric fixations with Monster Girls and holding hands are a lot easier for me to forgive than Sword's endless parade of badly-drawn "schoolgirls" wearing a combination of saran wrap and lingerie. Even the writing and storytelling in First Sight is better than Sword's, which is kind of impressive considering it was originally written in Japanese while Sword was written in English. It's honestly kind of amazing when I think about it! I have been presented with an interactive story about ninja assassins trying to get to the bottom of a dark conspiracy, and a non-interactive story about the monster girl tag on an animu image site, and I'm actually telling you the monster girl one is better. How the hell did that happen?! Well, I've actually got some thoughts on that. FOR ALL IT'S FLAWS, LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT IS VERY SINCERE. Shit like Sword of Asumi is absolutely desperate with it's pandering. It's entire existence is dedicated to giving you what it thinks you want immediately. It was funded by 600 kickstarter backers drawn in by the promise of anime titties barely concealed by a variety of fetish outfits, and it's desperate to appease it's depraved masters. "THESE GIRLS ARE NINJAS AND THEY MIGHT KISS! YOU WANT THAT RIGHT?!" it screams at it's audience. "WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU LOVE ME!" Love at First Sight on the other hand is the work of one guy called Ray-K. He drew a Cyclops girl because he thought it was cute. He then wrote a story about a clueless guy following her around like a lost puppy, the exact course of action most young straight males take when they stumble headfirst into their first crush. He then put that story into a Ren'Py game, because he wanted to share what he'd made with whoever cared enough to check it out. A simple little do-it-yourself project that's now available on Steam. I just don't have it in me to say that any of that is a BAD and WRONG thing to do, especially since my first experience with the genre is such an incredible example of how absolutely BAD and WRONG a visual novel can get. I don't like Love at First Sight. It's not something I would ever pay money for, play by choice, or recommend to others. It doesn't stand out from the crowd as a phenomenal achievement in writing or games as art or anything of the sort. Hell, the only way I could even play it was as a one-off stream with a ton of friends and a ton of booze. But it could be worse. CREDITS: THE FOUNDER OF THE FEAST: ATurtleDoesBite: I went off on him for daring to sully my steam library with such filth, but honestly, I always have a blast making these things and this game was no exception. So aturtledoesbite, thank you so much for gifting me this game! I hope the videos lived up to your expectations! SKYPE BROS: Caliscrub: The best drinking buddy a man could ask for. FanboyMaster: He's capable of identifying bad ideas! He might be the only one! Smiler: "THE D!" Patito: Watched a few animes, he knows how this works. Gahitsu: Wasn't able to see what was happening and I'm thinking that's for the best. NON-SKYPE BROS: Everyone in the Hitbox Chat: I'm really really sorry I didn't have anything set up to capture your immense wisdom. Next time I'll do better. You have my word. Everyone that Posted: It's always really encouraging to see people actually respond to my deleriously insane writeups. Thanks for keeping hope alive! AND FINALLY... YOU: Thanks again for reading and watching! I continue to be overjoyed that people like these dumb things enough to actually pay attention to them. I hope you all enjoyed it! Last edited by BEAT; 12-07-2016 at 11:13 AM. Reason: CLEANED UP THE WRITING BECAUSE OH MY GOD THAT NEEDED A PROOFREAD. |
#29
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I rather liked that positive end-note, and I'd agree. For all its problems, Love is a very sincere labor of love about first love, which I think most people could identify with at some level (to wit, the horrible awkwardness of it).
And let me know when you're streaming shit again. It's been far too long. |
#30
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Hooray! Now I know to gift you bad visual novels I see on sale on Stea--[user was banned for this post]
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