Bring Potions, Boots, and Bombs! Let's Play The Legend of Zelda: Parallel Worlds

Of all the Zelda games we've seen throughout the years, the one that I've played the most would have to be A Link to the Past. The first two Zelda games were great for their own reasons, but I'd be hard pressed to label LttP as anything other than the watershed moment for the series. The first two games were strictly Action games with light RPG mechanics and with a heavy emphasis on dungeon crawling, but Zelda 3 was a different creature entirely. Yes, the action and role-playing elements returned in a much improved form, but now the name of the game was puzzle solving. How many of you remember shooting an arrow into the Eyegore statue in the Palace of Darkness? What about realizing that the Cane of Somaria could be used to create moving platforms in Turtle Rock?

It's pretty easy for me to say that A Link to the Past is the pinnacle of 16-bit action games and that without it, the games industry might look quite different. Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way, because many fans have clamored and waited for a return to form from the series to revitalize what made Zelda 3 so great. Obviously, Nintendo has their own plans with their cel shading and their waggle, so the fans decided to take up the mantle themselves. Through blood, tears, sweat and booze, two ambitious little rom hackers forged a game that aimed for the lofty goal of succeeding one of my favorite games. Did they succeed?

Fuck

No

Parallel Worlds is one of the biggest abominations in the world of rom hacking. I say this fully aware of hacks like Pussy City Pimps, Little Remo and Dick Dug; Those are all crass juvenile projects by crass, juvenile people making it hard to take seriously. Parallel Worlds on the other hand is a romhack that's relatively well made and aesthetically pleasing. The game looks so good and it's actually one of the most impressive efforts from the rom hacking community. The problem with the game lies solely on it's level design. Let me just say it now, never before has a romhack been this unplayably hard. There is no way I'd ever recommend playing this game to the average video game enthusiast and I'd be hard pressed to say that even the most hardcore of Zelda fans would enjoy it. The entirety of the game borders on unfun and irritating.

So why am I playing it?

This is a game that word of mouth does no justice. Parallel Worlds has to be seen to be believed. While it may not be that fun for the average person to play, I do believe it's at least a bit entertaining to watch. Beyond that, Parallel Worlds actually has some nice elements behind it and some of the ideas could potentially be beneficial to the Zelda series if they were ever applied to it. Still, why would I want to do this to myself for the amusement of a bunch of strangers? For all my gripes about the game, I still manage to eke out enough enjoyment from the basic gameplay elements that bled through from the original game to make it all worth while. I enjoy playing Parallel Worlds and it goes beyond masochism. The original gameplay elements from A Link to the Past are so strong that they can make one of the worst things fun for me.

Things that you should know before I get started

First and foremost, I’m actually brand new to the whole Let’s Play thing and I’m always looking for advice and corrections wherever they apply. I’m not the greatest writer in town and I’ve never really messed around with the LP format before, so I hope to learn from the experience.

Beyond that, I’m actually playing through the game twice for you fools; once in the traditional screen shot formula that everyone is familiar with and once more in the video format because I believe this to be the best way to convey the horrors that lurk beneath the surface of this game. I would stick to the videos, but I’ve gotten the impression that no one actually watches the videos, so I’ll be using snapshots to entice people into giving the old moving pictures a view.

The Videos Thus Far
Update #01: The Guardhouse
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Update #02: Overworld Stuff
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Update #03: Nayru's Bay
Part 7
Part 8
Bonus: The Halls of Pain
Update #04: Din's Catacombs
Part 10
Part 11
Update #05: Overworld Stuff #2
Part 12
Part 13
Update #06: Farore's Isle with special guest, Dart Zaidyer
Part 14
Part 15
Update #07: Draegor's Castle with Kalir
Part 16
Update #08: Darkworld with Beat
Part 17
Part 18
Update #09: Saria's Garden's with Demoweasel
Part 19
Update #10: Impa's Ways with Loki and son.
Part 20
Update #11: Ruto's Fortress with Dart Zaidyer
Part 21
Part 22
Part 23
Update #12: Nabooru's Hole with Nodal
Part 24
Update #13: Darunia's Cavern with Beat
Part 25

Parallel Worlds is a pretty well known hack within its community and as such, has been Let’s Played quite a bit. Most of these LPs flat out suck either because of blind plays, excessive swearing and meme-spouting to the point of nausea and technical problems. The best of these LPs would have to be Zomodok and Diabetus' video set over on the Something Awful forums a few years back. Despite it being the best, it too suffers from blind play and technical issues up to and including missing the entirety of the endgame. I’ll just say it now, I’ve completed Parallel Worlds before and as such, I’ll hopefully be nipping some of these complaints in the bud.

Enough chatter, let’s get to the game itself.





Okay, as I mentioned, this romhack comes from the delirious minds of Euclid, author the Link to the Past editor and Seph, creator of the romhack masterpiece, Goddess of Wisdom. Something tells me that Euclid wore the pants in their relationship since we didn’t see -Euclid/Seph- in place of the Nintendo logo.

Anyways, like all great creations from the fertile minds of any great fanbase, Parallel Worlds has one of the greatest stories ever penned in a video game.





From the clouds and the sky, we’re whisked away to the throneroom of the Hyrule Castle







Well, that was sure something.

Next time: Let’s sneak into the den of our enemies!

Actually, fuck that!
Let’s name this dude

Also, this is where the videos start:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3



I’m well aware that the Talking Time tradition is to name your character “Pants” or to have the general audience come to a consensus, but I really wanted to just jet through the first update. I’ve decided that I have a story to tell.

This is the story of a young man with heroic dreams and lofty goals. In a time when the world was filled with perils and life just wasn’t fair, this young man decided to set things right. This was a man who was driven to insanity by his own feats and would eventually go on to become the harbringer on the end and the immortal enemy twisted become the very thing he fought against. This is the zero story.



And with the naming complete, our journey unfolds before us







With his words of wisdom, Gannon’s uncle went off on their dangerous mission. Gannon didn’t quite understand what this “X button” was, but he knew that this advice alone would surely get him through the darkest of nights. They had planned tonight for a long time, and how could they not? They knew the horrors that Draegor had unleashed upon the seven visitors. So well did they know how Draegor filled the world with the cretins from the monster dimension. The land had been stripped of its class and elegance and filled with things that were simply inappropriate. Proper grammar and sentence structure had all but disappeared and everyone knew that Draegor was to blame. Truly was he the tyrant king!

With Gannon’s lessons learned, he went on his way to prepare for the night that could possibly be his last.

Oh, and just in case people somehow got confused on what they’re playing, Gannon’s bed now has a telepathy monument attached to it.



How Quaint. This has erased all doubts in my mind that this will be the horrorfest I had in mind.

With Gannon’s lessons learned, he went on his way to prepare for the night that could possibly be his last.



Okay, so there really isn’t much to talk about yet, so I’ll go ahead and talk about the new HUD. Euclid and Seph just weren’t happy with the simplicity and perfection that was ALttP, so they went hogwild when it came to changing things. Most of this is unimportant, but I figured it would be nice to point out some of the nicer things that came along for the ride. First and formost, the magic bar is a lot better. It’s been elongated to give you a better idea of how much magic you actually have. Not only is it easier to tell how much magic you have, but they also threw in regenerating magic. This kind of kills off the need for Green Potions, but it’s all but essential for balancing the items without making things too unfair. Also, they added names to pretty much every area in the world map. This isn’t really a necessary change to the game, but it’s one that gives the game a more cohesive feel.



Gannon was always a very devout man and often took strolls on the Church Path to give his respects to the goddesses that birthed the land. Every day he gave offerings to Din, creator of Death Mountain, Forore, Mother to the Lost Woods and Nayru, owner of his favorite bay.



After his respects were paid and his prayers said, Gannon decided to help himself to the offerings that were presented before him. He knew in his heart that the godddesses had something greater in store for him.

Gannon had heard rumblings of a Magic Lamp hidden near the Church Path, so he took his newly blessed body into the deepest, dankest hole in the ground he could find. After all, Gannon knew that the best place to find a Magic Lamp would be in the Dungeons of Doom. Gannon couldn’t help wonder what terrible perils he would face in this dark abyss. Regardless, he went in.



What. The. Fuck.

This is one of the first moments where you see just how evil Parallel Worlds really is. What the hell, man? Gannon hasn’t even gotten his sword and shield yet and he’s been thrown the final form of the first boss. This is part of the reason why I decided to get the heart piece before the Guardhouse and not after like it was intended. Seriously, a red Armos Knight and a room full of spikes.



After narrowly avoiding what could have been a fatal encounter with a Giant Bat, Gannon had found the treasure he had come for. Gannon got a good feeling when he procured the Lamp that he didn’t even bother using the Scroll of Identify that he had in his bag. He KNEW that luck was in his favor after seeking the help of his gods. Soon he would have Djinn sidekick to help him in his quest.



and with his trusty lamp in hand, Gannon found his way out of the dangerous cave that had claimed numerous adventurers’ lives. As Gannon collected his bearings, he asked himself why he never noticed that the cave was conveniently next to his house. “No matter” he muttered to himself. He knew that he had one more place to go before attempting the impossible



Gannon had no sword at his side nor had he a buckler upon his back. He knew that he couldn’t just waltz into Draegor’s Hell unequipped, so he went to go gather the one thing he knew he could depend on.



Many times in his childhood, Gannon saw fit to experiment with explosives. Sometimes he’d find a cave, other times he’d use them for traversal despite the sheer stupidity of it all. Regardless, He knew bombs well and knew that the best place to get them was under the ceramic pottery that littered the shop’s storeroom. “They wouldn’t mind” Gannon thought to himself, “Once I become a real hero, they’ll practically beg me to take their goods.”



Gannon had heard old wives tales of a set of caverns on the edge of the Kakariko Village. Many had said that it led to treasure beyond man’s wildest dreams, while others said it led only to a spike-filled death. In his time with his group of rebels, however, Gannon had learned the true secret to the caverns. These caverns with an air so foreboding, lead straight to the Guardhouse! Gannon once again counted his blessings and went on his merry way after stashing the ruppies that littered the place in his money satchel.

After clawing his way through hellish holes and the dens of monsters, Gannon found his way to the surface. His great joy was shortlived, however, as he realized that he was merely on the Lupo Intersection and still had one more cave to go. He had heard things about this place, and these were not good things. After collecting himself and putting on his big boy tights, he found himself gallivanting through a cave that would kill most men upon a simple gaze.



Something about this dungeon had caught Gannon’s eye and he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. After some much needed pondering, he had come to the conclusion that this cave was filled with holes of all things. He knew he was on a slippery slope, but luckily he remembered that he was a world champion gymnast as a child and could stand on the tiniest of surfaces. With this being the only trick the caves had in store for him, he knew that was in for an easy time.



Oh god, fireballs everywhere. This is another one of those early indicators of what Parallel Worlds is actually going to end up becoming. This room is straight up evil and causes much of the frustration that people playing the early game usually suffer through. As awesome as it sounds, this is baby stuff as far as Euclid and Seph were concerned, so this is just the first of many glimpses into the evil that haunts their hearts.



After a brief runaround with a guard, Gannon decided to dive straight into the lungs of the building that practically churned out evil on a timely basis. Gannon had finally arrived at the Guardhouse.

Gannon had found himself at his intended target, and couldn’t help but wonder what fate had planned for him. Would he be felled by Draegor’s sword, or would he successfully travel through the Guardhouse and achieve his lofty goal. Never the thinker, Gannon stopped thinking about his thoughts and went off to try and find himself a princess.



"Oh my goodness!” Gannon whispered quietly to himself. He had found a key on the floor of the wine cellar and knew that all keys eventually led to good things. He had found a locked door in the same room, but it turns out that the hole was entirely too big for his puny key. Were he a locksmith, he could have probably stuck his hand in the hole to flip the switches and hit the hammers, but he knew nothing of locks. Nothing at all.



After being completely stumped by the big hole, Gannon decided to try his luck on the locked door in the main hallway. Once he arrived, he had found success and knew exactly where he needed to go next. As he was passing through the doorway, however, he managed to catch a glint of light out of the corner of his eye. He quickly turned around to catch whatever will-o-wisp was causing mischief and found that the light was actually coming off of a loose floor panel. “I’ll teach you” Gannon thought to himself, “I’ll show you all that poor craftsmanship only leads to broken floors.” With the click of his boots, the door on the eastmost wall shot straight open and Gannon could catch the wafting smell of the most familiar of odors. “I know this smell..." Thought Gannon.



The Guardhouse is boring.



Gannon had followed the odor all the way to the backroom of the Guardhouse and figured out why the smell had been so familiar. The fumes that permeated the air belonged to none other than a giant chest! As soon as he drew closer, however, Gannon saw a familiar foe: He was face to face with another giant keyhole. He decided to call it quits with the treasure and went searching through the pottery. To his shock and awe, he found yet another small key! Through his small victory and his flirtations with the treasure, he made one tragic mistake; Gannon had neglected to avoid the soldiers in the room.



With nowhere else to go, Gannon went through the formerly locked door he had opened before making his statement about the proper way put in wood flooring. One his route, he decided that the only way to dispatch a soldier without a sword would be to toss around pottery with reckless abandon.

Pro Tip: After you get done shooting the cyberdemon with missiles, you may notice that spiked floors tend to hurt. If you’re tired of these floors keeping you down, you can hug the walls while walking in the direction you’re traveling to avoid damage. This is a good way to get past pits, spikes and bumper traps in the original game and is practically required in some instances here. Keep in mind, however, that this little trick doesn’t work on the northern walls and you’ll foolishly take damage if you even try it. Foolishly.



"Well shoot” Gannon thought to himself. He had been foiled by large keyholes for the third time. Somehow he got the feeling that this would be a recurring theme.



While rummaging through the dreaded dungeons of the Guardhouse, Gannon heard cries of immense pain and quickly ran towards it to find out what foul beast had been stricken by disease. Free food is free food afterall. Once he arrived at the source, Gannon quickly spied his uncle, his companion and most importantly, his friend locked up. Not only was there a fourth giant keyhole in the way, but the most dreaded trap in the kingdom prevented him from freeing his closest friend: the dreaded Whack-a-moles of Hyrule.



Not much to say here. Most of the Guardhouse is filled with guards, spikes and more spikes. We do see our first Ball and Chain Troopers here and they’ve been cranked up a notch and take quite a bit more than two pots to kill. They’re right assholes, they are.



Speaking of Ball and Chain Troopers, it’s of utmost importance that Gannon kill the one in this room. This is one of the great flaws of Parallel Worlds; Euclid and Seph looooove to have the player backtrack whenever possible. This dude holds a key and takes about four bombs to kill. If you hadn’t picked up the bombs, you’re stuck and you have to find an alternate way to get the sword and the shield. Yes, they did throw the player a bone and put another key somewhere accessible, however, this key requires a ton of backtracking to get to. This key is also guarded by about four blue guards, making it a good way to die. You really don’t want to die early in the game. Trust me, you’ll soon find out why.

Oh goodie, more backtracking required. You can technically get this heart piece, but it requires the use of the hookshot, which is something we won’t be seeing for quite a while. I do love how adeptly I dodged all three guards here, but I don’t think the screenshot does the actual game justice.




Gannon had been crawling through the depths of the Guardhouse for what felt like days.The more and more he traveled, the less he felt he was capable of achieving anything worthwhile. There were too many foes, too many spikes and too many keyholes. Finally, it had appeared he found a room to rest in with nothing of danger insight. He stood there trying to catch his breath when suddenly, he noticed a familiar glint on the ground. “Great, more bad flooring” He sarcastically muttered to himself. It was at this moment when he realized just how bad the flooring truly was. This was bad flooring. This floor was bad. This is a floor with something to prove and a dude to maim. Gannon quickly collected himself and dodged every tile that went flying towards his blonde, little head. Tile after tile, all smashing into the walls, one by one he dodged them all. When all was said and done, he looked down to see what had happened. Right there, clear as day, he spotted the most sinister of designs. It was a skull.



Mother f...

ZELDA HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT PIXEL-PERFECT NAVIGATION THROUGH SPIKES.



After a grueling fight with the basement floor and a tight squeeze though oddly placed spike traps, Gannon had finally found something to bring a smile back to his face. This was a Big Key and as such, he figured he finally had a way to open the doors that plagued him so throughout the Guardhouse.



Bad stuff happened here, and right before getting the sword and the shield too. That’s right, up to this point, I’ve been without the two most basic tools in a Zelda game. What you get in about two minutes in the original, takes upwards of a half an hour here.



What the fuck?

Yes this is what I hinted at earlier. Due to the way that A Link to the Past was programmed, if you somehow died before getting the White Sword from your Uncle, your save file would be borked. This is something that never cropped up in the original game since the first enemies that you could find appeared immediately after you would have been forced to get equipped. How in the hell Euclid and Seph thought it was a good idea to build an entire dungeon around a game-ending bug, I don’t fucking know. Seriously, if there’s one reason why you shouldn’t play this on an actual cart without the ability to savestate, this is it.

And with the most dramatic scene in the Zelda series (hahaha) over, it’s time to backtrack.



Through the wine cellar we saw at the beginning of the Guardhouse.



A key. That’s all we came here for. As you might imagine, the best way to pad your game is by adding all kinds of pointless backtracking. Being the master game designers that they are, Euclid and Seph decided to hide Zelda back by your Unclefriend. I think I’ll go ahead and spare you the details, so here, here’s a picture of Gannon rescuing the princess:



Not at all



After meandering through the Guardhouse for what felt like days, Gannon had located the girl from the other world and had managed to find an alternate exit. He’d seen more than his fair share of fireballs on the way to the fortress, so an alternate route through the sewers seemed like a dream come true. After using his newly acquired friend to push over an ornamental shelf, he managed to find a treasure chest! What wonders awaited the young hero? In truth, he couldn’t know, for a big keyhole had shown up to taunt him once again.

Okay, so the map key doesn’t work at all in Parallel Worlds. Obviously, since getting the map and the compass has always been the best part of Zelda, Eucly and Sephiepoo decided to replace these neutered items with something better. Instead of having to collect the map, compass and big key, they decided to cut the items down to the Boss Key and the Item Key. After all, we all know that the best thing to replace an effective tool with is an arbitrary barrier.

While I’m on the subject of chests, this dungeon in particular is special. The Guardhouse is actually two dungeons, the jail and the sewers. So in total, there are four Big Keys you need to collect to get everything. Now, the Item Key is just ahead, but I decided to opt out of getting the item(blue boomerang) due to something I’ll make sure to mention at another point in time.



Gannon had gone through a lot that night, so when he realized that the sewers were also filled with spikes and indefinite pits, he just laughed to himself and lead his female friend through hell in hopes. It was a man’s duty afterall to protect women, and Gannon, if anything, was a man of duty. Eventually they reached the holier wing of the sewers when Zelda warned a very fortuitous warning:

"Egads!” Gannon said out loud. Gannon had always been more of a battling soul than a man of scholarly acclaim. He wasn’t the type to travel the country sides constantly solving mysteries and solving puzzles. If it moved, Gannon knew the solution was a sword. Stationary puzzles, however, were not his forte. Regardless, he had been through a lot and didn’t think much of the actual puzzles until they reared their ugly heads.



lolwut

Seriously, what in the hell were they thinking with this one. This “puzzle” is solved in exactly one step. Hit the crystal switch and you’re good to go. To make things even worse, if you’re skipping the boomerang like I am, you don’t actually need to do anything to solve this puzzle. You can actually just waltz straight through and never even have to hit a switch.



This is what it looks like if you actually do solve the puzzle. Also, that right there is the Item Key in all its ugly greatness.



After hours upon hours of critical thinking and long division, Gannon decided that true heroes don’t solve puzzles and walked straight on through to the other side. Zelda had a feeling that they were nearly at the threshold of the church. Still though, there was one more puzzle in store for them. At the end of the room, there was a sealed door and on the opposite, two switches. Gannon knew that there was a 50% chance he’d find success, either he did or he didn’t. His first attempt, was poor. Suddenly, from out of nowhere came four peagreen bombs raining from the ceiling. One by one, explosion by explosion, the bombs were dodged. For only knowing each other for a few hours, Zelda and Gannon had learned to move as one. There was an unspoken bond and a true feeling of understanding between them that they knew would only lead to great things. They had all the time in the world to make good of their union, just as soon as Draegor had been taken care of.





Gannon had learned the details of his mission and he now knew exactly what he had to do. He had never heard of this Sahasrahla person, but he knew that wherever he was, he had answers. Gannon set about his way wondering what the three deities had in store for him. Only time would tell.

NEXT TIME: A Brief Highlight of the Overworld Activities and the Trek Through Nayru’s Bay.

Godspeed, my friend...

Good luck with this, it should be very entertaining (for us). Any chance of tossing the videos into a playlist?

Either way, thanks for doing the videos, I needed another video LP to watch.

Hey, that's a good idea!

Oh, wow. This is pretty awesome, Garrison. Designing an entire level around a game-breaking bug sounds like a great idea.

You've made it further than I've been already. The guardhouse was just impossible. To my knowledge they were going to release a new version which made it easier, whether that got to the light of day or not is beyond me. I'll be watching with baited breath!

Honestly, I was kind of expecting there to be three sizes of key, and each one could only be used once. "We've given you a big chest and two jail cell doors. You have one Big Key. Choose wisely."

Anyone else see one of the viruses from Dr. Mario?

What? But.. who... who would buy something like that? Is that item just a testament to their ego or something? Do they seriously think there are people that would pay over $50 to play their crappy hack on a real SNES?

And... are they making a profit from those sales? Nintendo has always been pretty good with fangames and the like, but I cannot imagine that selling a hack based on their one of their games, especially such a terrible hack based on such a great game, for a profit is something that would fly with them.

Christ. It already looks like Parallel Worlds is to LttP what Warriors of the Wind is to Nausicaa.

I don't think I'm going to make it through this thread without invoking every possible meme (PARALLEL WORLDS) associated with this terrifying romhack. It deserves it. It deserves all of it.

Did you know pretty much every dungeon in the game can be blamed on Euclid? SePH focused more on the overworld. That's why the overworld is beautiful and wonderfully crafted, and all the dungeons are filled with death and suffering.

ohhhhhhh your avatar is a beamos. it looked like a chicken getting roasted by either one of those hair salon hats or a mining cap.

also this site sucks. I would like to buy a us version of alien soldier, but apparently nobody has had that bright idea. And they stopped selling SM:Redesign, apparently.

I think there's something kind of charming about the submerged dungeon of Nayru's Bay, and also something quite fulfilling about getting all of the clues and bringing them together in the Parallel Tower, but that's unfortunately the extent of the charm that the game's underworld has.

That's how you get your name to replace Nintendo!

I am digging the narrative style of this LP! The game itself... not so much.

Yeah, that was my guess. If you've got such high words for Seph's other hack, and yet Euclid's the guy with his name on the title screen, I figure it's the second guy's problem that all the dungeons are made of hatred.

Thanks for doing this Garrison. It's nice to see somebody playing the game who actually has an inkling of the utterly depraved method that exists behind the mind-rending madness. Most every other Parallel Worlds LP seems to just be a constant stream of savestates and cursing. While accurate to the experience, I'm fully capable of reproducing that on my own.

Best of luck sir. I hope your sanity holds.

Bah, by the looks of it its only the worst ZELDA romhack... If ya want other romhacks theres aways kaizo, SMI, SML... etc...

This LP is fantastic! A Super Metroid and LttP(ish) LP at the same time? Life is grand.

Kaizo gets kind of a bad rap, I think. Yes, it's brutally difficult and impossible without savestates, but it's supposed to be. Its genesis can be traced to two guys trying to challenge each other -- it's not the game's fault that the internet as a whole got a hold of it.

Worse, I think, are the games that try to be real games and apparently think they're fair, but... aren't. And it's not like there's any shortage of those.

Also great LP and stuff.

So I guess what you're saying is Parallel Worlds?

The thing about romhacks like these is that they never take into consideration what made the game they're hacking so great in the first place. In LttP, the Hyrule Castle dungeon is easy as pie, not because the folks at Nintendo hold their audience in contempt for not being able to handle the "challenge," but because the game is easing the player into the mechanics of the thing, and grooming them to be impressed by the late game showstopper dungeons.

If that Armos Knight thing had happened in LttP, very few people would have wanted anything to do with the game afterward.

Seconded. But thank you for playing it! I love LttP beyond all other (save maybe Link's Awakening), and when I heard about this romhack I had high hopes. I quickly learned to never ever touch it. I'm glad I get to see it, at least, without any of the bullshit.

To be fair, this game isn't meant to be picked up and played in the same way LttP was. You don't have to make early dungeons easy in what is in some ways (none of them good) the Master Quest of LttP.