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  #31  
Old 04-08-2009, 08:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Figure Four View Post
My all time favorite Onion article is from the "Our Dumb Century" book:

HOLY SHIT! MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON!

Oh God, some wonderful person has made a video out of the article.
I love that one too. And thanks to the Hindenburg article, I now exclaim "Oh, the luminosity!" at impressive explosions.
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  #32  
Old 04-08-2009, 08:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Merus View Post
The better one was the one about how America finally sucks enough for people to vote for a black president.

I also enjoy linking this one whenever it's remotely, tangentially related to a conversation, because it's so hilariously stupid.

Finally, the "Point/Counterpoint" series is fucking awesome.
European Men are So Romantic vs. American Women are Incredibly Easy
I am so starving vs. I am so starving
Life Begins at Conception vs. Life Begins at 40
The Spartans are fags vs. The Spartans did indeed engage in homosexual activity
No blood for oil vs. Exactly how much oil are we talking about?

Also, about the headlines being funnier than articles, I think for me the articles generally beat the jokes into the ground even if they have a lot of funny individual parts. But then that's the way most humor vehicles work now so I can't just fault it.
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  #33  
Old 04-08-2009, 09:10 PM
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Is one of the Onion folks a fan of the Nostalgia Critic? :P

http://www.theonion.com/content/maga...rom_duck_tales
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  #34  
Old 04-08-2009, 09:49 PM
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I've always been a big fan of Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades.

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Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.
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  #35  
Old 04-08-2009, 09:55 PM
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The sheer, unbridled arrogance of that article is great. Better than the fact that we now do actually have 5-blade razors, anyway.
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  #36  
Old 04-08-2009, 10:10 PM
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I also really love the Onion's political cartoon. It's the little guy in the corner that really makes it.
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  #37  
Old 04-09-2009, 04:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Figure Four View Post
I also really love the Onion's political cartoon. It's the little guy in the corner that really makes it.
I wouldn't have spotted that it was a satire unless someone had told me, but that DUI one is the most obvious of the ones I've seen, because the Honest Hard-working Citizens is clearly the cartoonist character except handsome.

I do love how the Statue of Liberty crying gets worked in at any opportunity, though.
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  #38  
Old 04-09-2009, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by spineshark View Post
Finally, the "Point/Counterpoint" series is fucking awesome.
European Men are So Romantic vs. American Women are Incredibly Easy
This got published a couple of months after I got back from a semester abroad. I about had a heart attack.
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  #39  
Old 04-09-2009, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merus View Post
I wouldn't have spotted that it was a satire unless someone had told me, but that DUI one is the most obvious of the ones I've seen, because the Honest Hard-working Citizens is clearly the cartoonist character except handsome.

I do love how the Statue of Liberty crying gets worked in at any opportunity, though.
Even when the content lies, I told myself the first couple times I read it that there's just no way there'd be such an insane conservative cartoonist in that context. Eventually it became more and more obvious. Or maybe it's just bias confirmation.

Anyway, this one was linked on the same page as that one, and I laughed hard enough to spit on my monitor. I'm such a horrible person.

ahahaha holy shit
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  #40  
Old 04-09-2009, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merus View Post
I wouldn't have spotted that it was a satire unless someone had told me, but that DUI one is the most obvious of the ones I've seen, because the Honest Hard-working Citizens is clearly the cartoonist character except handsome.
Speaking of Honest Hard-Working Cartoonists...

Mmm, beefy.
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  #41  
Old 04-09-2009, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grant View Post
This got published a couple of months after I got back from a semester abroad. I about had a heart attack.
So, uh, was it on the mark?
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  #42  
Old 04-09-2009, 01:13 PM
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Haha that's awesome. One of the ones where reading the article is just as funny as the headline, if not moreso. I'm a big fan of the graph showing what RadioShack's revenues should look like.
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  #43  
Old 04-09-2009, 01:18 PM
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This man gets it.

Corn will also be served.
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  #44  
Old 04-09-2009, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Healy View Post
So, uh, was it on the mark?
Month 1: The praises of Latin men, especially as regards dancing, were widely sung.

Month 2: Mass discontentment sets in.

Month 3: Rebound.
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  #45  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:25 PM
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The Chicago Meatwave holds a special place in my heart for obvious reasons.

I was always partial to Herbert Kornfeld too. H-Dog in tha house
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  #46  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:29 PM
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Is AV Club stuff on the table, too? I like their weird food reviews a lot, and their weekly roundup of the Fox Sunday animated sitcoms - it was reading those reviews that made me want to check out American Dad! more and led me to appreciate it. And who doesn't have a use for Savage Love?
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  #47  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn View Post
And who doesn't have a use for Savage Love?
Uhh...me. (It is entertaining, though) They also don't print it in the Onion in DenverBoulder, but it's in the Westword so I guess that's all the same.

I really like the AV club movie reviews, but they have the same problem as most reviewers, that they're not very enjoyable when they're praising the movie. Fortunately they go over plenty of bad ones. And I agree even more on the weird foods thing. "It's like drinking a tire fire!"

Also, American Dad really is better than Family Guy has been since AD started, since it's less about randomness and shock value, but at the same time...Roger is wayyy overplayed.
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  #48  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:48 PM
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2008 Tax Records Reveal Sasha Obama Made $136 In Allowance Money
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  #49  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spineshark View Post
Also, American Dad really is better than Family Guy has been since AD started, since it's less about randomness and shock value, but at the same time...Roger is wayyy overplayed.
It's like, they knew they couldn't really do the exact same thing as Family Guy, so they had to create an actual show this time. Though I love Roger, especially when he does stuff with Steve. Something about McFarlane's Paul Lynde impression just tickles me to no end.
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  #50  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
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And who doesn't have a use for Savage Love?
If I'm going to get preached at by a self-righteous Catholic, I'd prefer it be in church.
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  #51  
Old 04-09-2009, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
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If I'm going to get preached at by a self-righteous Catholic, I'd prefer it be in church.
He's not Catholic. Well, maybe culturally in that he was raised Catholic.
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  #52  
Old 04-09-2009, 03:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringworm View Post
He's not Catholic. Well, maybe culturally in that he was raised Catholic.
Yeah, he might be self-righteous, but at least it's about the right stuff. Ie. getting people to dump their terrible significant others, something I wholeheartedly endorse.
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  #53  
Old 04-09-2009, 03:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringworm View Post
He's not Catholic. Well, maybe culturally in that he was raised Catholic.
I don't care if Jesus lives in your heart or not; if you were raised Catholic, you're still Catholic enough to count.
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  #54  
Old 04-09-2009, 03:08 PM
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Regardless of self-righteous and preachiness (both of which he totally is), I think Dan Savage is pretty damn funny. I get a lot of enjoyment out of both the column and the podcast every week.

And he gave us definitions for "santorum" and "saddlebacking". Awesome.
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  #55  
Old 04-09-2009, 06:59 PM
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Ocular Penetration Restriction Act of 2007 [NSFW]
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  #56  
Old 04-10-2009, 12:59 AM
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  #57  
Old 04-10-2009, 05:52 AM
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Area Man Hasn't Told Co-Workers About His Billy Joel Fanpage Yet

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Hudek said he spends approximately 10 hours a week on maintenance and upkeep of the website, typing in trivia questions, scanning photographs he took at various Joel concerts, and posting the results of weekly fan polls.

"This week's question is: What is your favorite song on Turnstiles?" Hudek said. "Surprisingly, 'Miami 2017' is in the lead, with seven votes. I was sure it would be 'James' or, at the very least, 'I've Loved These Days.' Not that '2017' isn't a great song--it is. But the best on all of Turnstiles? My suspicion is that there's one person out there who really likes it and is casting multiple votes. Right now, there's nothing to prevent that."
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  #58  
Old 04-10-2009, 05:05 PM
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Stop Anthropomorphizing Me by Gerald the Dog

Some of my favorites are their opinion pieces.
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  #59  
Old 04-11-2009, 07:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringworm View Post
From the dark days of 2004: Nation's Liberals Suffering From Outrage Fatigue. That article inspired the domain I purchased shortly after.
The Onion is there for us on our darkest days.

For instance, shortly after 9/11: Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves in Hell

"We Expected Eternal Paradise For This," Say Suicide Bombers.
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  #60  
Old 04-13-2009, 01:58 PM
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The Onion does it again.

And again.
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