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  #11521  
Old 02-07-2017, 02:52 PM
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You know that trope about a lot of pre-2000 or so horror or thriller stories where you're like "all of this could have been prevented if there were cell phones"

Dracula is like that, except for just any sort of communication at all.

Mina: "I had this awful experience where mist came into my room, turned into a horrific figure, and I woke up feeling weak and despondent. But I won't tell anyone! It would just weight on their souls! But I will ask our resident vampire expert for some sleeping medication."

Van Helsing, an intellectual, who watched Mina's best friend die of the same god damn thing: "Sure here's some meds, whatever"

Jonathan, who has noticed the change in his wife: "The doctors were quite right to insist on her being kept out of this dreadful business. ... I shall not enter on the subject with her under any circumstance." (actual quote)

YOU STUPID FUCKS
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  #11522  
Old 02-07-2017, 02:54 PM
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Oh and by the way, Van Helsing explained to everyone (with penises) that Dracula can turn into mist and phase through walls, so Mina should have known exactly what was going on
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  #11523  
Old 02-07-2017, 03:29 PM
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How did he use penises to explain that? Were they some sort of visual aid?
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  #11524  
Old 02-07-2017, 03:32 PM
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It was the nineteenth century, they didn't have laser pointers.
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  #11525  
Old 02-07-2017, 03:38 PM
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"Now overs here *whap!* you'll see a diagram of Dracula turning into mist, and here *whap!* turning into a bat."
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  #11526  
Old 02-07-2017, 06:27 PM
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That's pretty much what happened.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: While Jonathan Harker is sleuthing out where Dracula hid all of his extra horcruxes boxes full of dirt, he learns that the Count purchased another abandoned building where some of them are presumably stashed. The name he used to purchase this house? Count de Ville.

According to Bram Stoker's notes, other names the Count considered using for this ruse included:
- Professor Lou Cipher
- Old Scratch McGee
- Baron Evil McBadface

Oh yeah and while Drac has Mina all in his thrall he's like "They should have kept their energies for use closer to home" and I'm all like apply holy water to burn but then I felt really bad for Mina
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  #11527  
Old 02-07-2017, 08:20 PM
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Slightly off-topic, but while we're discussing Dracula, I thought I should mention Guy Maddin's film adaptation, Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary.

It's a black-and-white expressionist ballet with an Asian Dracula representing the fear of "foreign" contagion in the original novel.

Just thought some of you might like to know this existed.
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  #11528  
Old 02-08-2017, 03:46 AM
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A few months ago I read The Necromancer and found it a pretty fun dark comedy, a bit Discworld-by-way-of-Bryan Fuller. It also picked up in medias res and I naturally thought I just came into the series mid-stride. So I picked up what I judged from the title, to be the first book in the series; The Brothers Cabal.

Anyway, turns out that Necromancer was first and Brothers is the most recent. So I am going in sideways-chronological order here.
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  #11529  
Old 02-08-2017, 07:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post
"Now overs here *whap!* you'll see a diagram of Dracula turning into mist, and here *whap!* turning into a bat."
Man, I'm bummed that this didn't get adapted in the Ford Coppola movie.
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  #11530  
Old 02-10-2017, 08:47 AM
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Finished off Neil Gaimans almost secretly released short story collection Norse Mythology, which is a bunch of stories from, well, Norse Mythology, laid out in chronological order, mostly focusing on Thor and Loki. It wasn't really in the same vein as Gaimans other works, but you could tell it was him writing them at least.

It also included the charming tale of the time Odin saved the day by sharting right into a giants mouth. And what the magical properties of that shart entail.
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  #11531  
Old 02-10-2017, 12:36 PM
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My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante
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  #11532  
Old 02-10-2017, 09:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dracula View Post
Oh and by the way, Van Helsing explained to everyone (with penises) that Dracula can turn into mist and phase through walls, so Mina should have known exactly what was going on
Wait... Are you saying Mina has a penis?
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  #11533  
Old 02-10-2017, 09:51 PM
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I think any of the protagonists of the novel would burst into flames if you asked them that question.
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  #11534  
Old 02-12-2017, 10:08 AM
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Starting Babylon's Ashes. Sure are a lot of viewpoint chapters with un-self-aware Nazi garbage. Kind of hard to stomach. Filip's enough! Clarissa, my fave, was much more tolerable... and hey, she's back and her crimes pale in comparison now. I can be thankful for that~
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  #11535  
Old 02-12-2017, 10:22 AM
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I haven't started that one yet, but you've confirmed my worst fear and greatest hope. Phew?
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  #11536  
Old 02-12-2017, 01:29 PM
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It took me a while to warm up to it (the Gentlemen Bastards upping the ante by pretending to be the secret police and warning their mark about the scam made the trick, and introducing Nazca in the next chapter clinched it) but I've been really enjoying The Lies of Locke Lamora.
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  #11537  
Old 02-13-2017, 04:37 AM
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Reading The Radetzky March by Joseph Roth.

It's pretty interesting, but I think it was hyped up too much by the reviewers. It's hailed as a majestic masterpiece about a lost era but if I was just reading it as a regular book I wouldn't be comparing it to Stefan Zweig which I prefer a little more.
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  #11538  
Old 02-13-2017, 06:55 AM
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"Therefore I, on my part, give up here the certainty of eternal rest, and go out into the dark where may be the blackest things that the world or the nether world holds!" - Mina Harker

Dracula was good.
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  #11539  
Old 02-14-2017, 11:29 AM
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Such was my immediate taste for Anno Dracula, that I picked up a collection of Kim Newmans short stories (which includes ADs immediate sequel, Anno Dracula 1889).

I'm about halfway through the book now, and I don't know how I managed to overlook this guys entire body of work before, but everything here has been so far in my wheelhouse that an exterminator takes one look inside and winces through clenched teeth saying "Geez, this is a bad infestation you've got here. Probably going to have to tent your house. Going to run a good few figures for a job this big."

I feel this metaphor has run away from me a bit, but I also feel it would be cruel to abandon it so soon after it was born, and replace it with something more concise. I'm not a monster.
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  #11540  
Old 02-14-2017, 12:15 PM
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I finished Small Gods by Terry Pratchett, read part of Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace, and now I'm reading Tales of the Dying Earth by Jack Vance. I think next up is How to Relax by Thich Nhat Hanh, which was a gift from my cousin, then some Gene Wolfe short stories.
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  #11541  
Old 02-14-2017, 12:31 PM
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The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
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  #11542  
Old 02-14-2017, 12:40 PM
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Quote:
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Tales of the Dying Earth by Jack Vance
I read The Dying Earth last year, and loved it. Probably some of the same stories in that anthology. Interesting as well for its influence on early D&D.
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  #11543  
Old 02-14-2017, 12:48 PM
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Oh yeah, it's an anthology of four novels, and the first one is The Dying Earth, so the entire book is in it. Yes, it's like a series of really crazy D&D campaigns.
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  #11544  
Old 02-14-2017, 05:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
Oh yeah, it's an anthology of four novels, and the first one is The Dying Earth, so the entire book is in it. Yes, it's like a series of really crazy D&D campaigns.
It is, in fact, one of the major, direct sources of inspiration for D&D.

The original Dungeon Master's Guide has a section, Appendix N, that is a list of works that are useful for getting in the right mood. It's in there.
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  #11545  
Old 02-15-2017, 06:59 AM
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And even more specifically, Vance's Dying Earth stories directly inspired D&D's magic system. Things like the way spells are learned and cast, and the way they're named. I remember one story having a spell named something like [Person]'s Wonderful Prismatic Spray, and then you have spells in D&D like Color Spray or Bigby's Interposing Fist.

(For a long time I carried around a list of the books from Appendix N in my wallet and I'd pull it out whenever I found myself in a used bookstore. I collected a few things from the list but kinda stopped when I realized I'd probably never get around to reading them all.)
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  #11546  
Old 02-15-2017, 07:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dracula View Post
And even more specifically, Vance's Dying Earth stories directly inspired D&D's magic system. Things like the way spells are learned and cast, and the way they're named. I remember one story having a spell named something like [Person]'s Wonderful Prismatic Spray, and then you have spells in D&D like Color Spray or Bigby's Interposing Fist.
Heck, Ioun stones are taken wholesale from a Dying Earth short story (though, they did ask permission...).
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  #11547  
Old 02-15-2017, 07:42 AM
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Oh yeah and then there's Vecna (as in, "the Hand and Eye of..."). Just an anagram for Vance.
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  #11548  
Old 02-15-2017, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bongo Bill View Post
The original Dungeon Master's Guide has a section, Appendix N, that is a list of works that are useful for getting in the right mood. It's in there.
The list is still around in 5e, and that's where I got the idea to read it.
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  #11549  
Old 02-15-2017, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
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The list is still around in 5e, and that's where I got the idea to read it.
I thought I'd remembered seeing that in there. I'm glad they brought it back.

Some other RPGs have recommended reading (such as Star Frontiers, TSR's pulp sci-fi game) and I think that's pretty cool.
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  #11550  
Old 02-15-2017, 03:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Such was my immediate taste for Anno Dracula, that I picked up a collection of Kim Newmans short stories (which includes ADs immediate sequel, Anno Dracula 1889).

I'm about halfway through the book now, and I don't know how I managed to overlook this guys entire body of work before, but everything here has been so far in my wheelhouse that an exterminator takes one look inside and winces through clenched teeth saying "Geez, this is a bad infestation you've got here. Probably going to have to tent your house. Going to run a good few figures for a job this big."
Have you read Tim Powers at all? I suspect his mashup of real-life history with the ludicrously occult might appeal to you. I haven't read much, but what I have seen seems up your alley.

Might also be worth looking into Charles Stross's Laundry books. One of the novellas in the series is free online.
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