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  #31  
Old 08-02-2013, 10:57 PM
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Yeah, but do you know the verses? If you do you'll be my favorite Tyrant
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  #32  
Old 08-02-2013, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Droewyn View Post
Yeah, but do you know the verses? If you do you'll be my favorite Tyrant
Something something Sea Ponies when you're in a mess(?)

Helpful as can be ponies they'll give you an SOS (maybe)

you get the gist, I haven't actually thought of that song since 1988

(I'm super wasted atm btw)
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  #33  
Old 08-03-2013, 06:52 AM
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Getting this back on track.

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"All's well that ends Welles" - official motto of the Committee to Kill Orson Welles
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  #34  
Old 08-22-2013, 02:07 PM
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Why is it that one of the first things that anti-feminism/ists people bring up is "I should be able to slap women no problem since women can slap men no problem!" like dude your first thoughts on the argument about equality between genders is about violence TOWARDS WOMEN that is legit scary dude
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  #35  
Old 08-24-2013, 03:27 PM
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Upon second thought:

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Toilet seat covers are a total waste of trees.

Yes, someone else's butt was on that toilet seat before yours, but butts are really not that dirty. Hands are dirty, that's why you wash your hands. If your butt needed to be clean, we would have thought of ways to efficiently wash our butts a long time ago. But nobody cares. You put your butt back into your pants and move on with your life.
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  #36  
Old 08-24-2013, 06:51 PM
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But Japanese people have invented pleasant and effective methods to cleanse one's arse, I thought.
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  #37  
Old 08-24-2013, 07:49 PM
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But Japanese people have invented pleasant and effective methods to cleanse one's arse, I thought.
Not the whole arse. Just one specific part of it. Which I've sorta already mentioned.
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  #38  
Old 08-26-2013, 07:39 PM
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I had some downtime at work today, so I got the chance to catch up on some of my professional journals. And, in doing so, I ran across an article about the importance of performing a full physical exam on all patients.

In particular, it went on to define a physical examination as 'the routine assessment of a patient by using our five senses...'

I would like to take this opportunity to state that, no matter what anyone, up to and including the licensing board, says, I AM NEVER LICKING MY PATIENTS.
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  #39  
Old 08-26-2013, 07:46 PM
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Doctors in the Middle Ages thought that sampling urine was a good diagnostic tool to tell them what was wrong with their patients.

Which it probably was at the time, but I expect that also went out with the Middle Ages.
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  #40  
Old 08-26-2013, 08:09 PM
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This actually came up in the thread; it's particularly useful for diagnosing diabetes.

The OP is also a veterinarian, so we're not just talking human piss here...
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  #41  
Old 11-24-2013, 09:59 AM
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!Remember the yarn I showed you the other night?!!! On sale two bux a skein!!!! We need you to buy enough to make a sweater. We're knitting off the deep end!!!
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  #42  
Old 12-16-2013, 03:39 PM
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Dear Dude at the Pharmacy,

As an unabashed book lover, I appreciate the attempt I overheard to use literary references to describe possible side effects of medication. But I think you meant "Flowers for Algernon", not "Flowers in the Attic". ....or that's quite the side effect.

Hugs and platonic kisses.
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  #43  
Old 12-17-2013, 03:16 AM
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Default seemed better here

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Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
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  #44  
Old 12-17-2013, 12:38 PM
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There's plenty of ways to tell the truth without coming across like an ass. It's called communication skills. I'm not going to [ban the guy] because I like the content of his posts, but he needs to learn how to express himself to others if he wants to get a better reception. A "Well, I'm just telling it as it is. If people can't handle the truth then that's their problem." attitude is just immature. It's not the truth that bothers people -- it's the way you choose to express that truth.
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  #45  
Old 12-28-2013, 01:47 PM
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If God does not exist, then how is it that a banana fits so perfectly in this banana slicer? CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!
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No, you do not understand. The slicer is the product of fourteen million years of evolution. The earliest banana slices were crude arrowhead-like stones, which shredded the banana and cut the hand of the wielder. Competition between these and their smaller contemporaries, the one-inch sharpened disk, eventually led to the disk population overwhelming the stones. The disk, a product of convergent evolution (see the recent scholarly study "Re-Inventing the Wheel," by D. Wheeler and W. Dealer), eventually lost its prominence when an oval with a handle (See "The Cutting Edge," by C. Dickens and Brooks of Sheffield), began to colonize the banana-rich environment. The ovals gradually evolved into thin rectangles, and the handle, like the tail in humans, began to disappear, remaining only in vestigial frame form (See "No matter how you slice it," by T. Sharper Image). By cloning, something that occurs in nature as a structure repeats itself, the small rectangles, like the base pairs in DNA, became arranged in a set of parallels, and the frames grew together. The superiority of this multicellular structure caused it to out-reproduce the individual small knife-like objects, thus resulting in the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer (capable of slicing 571 bananas in 571 tries) that we know today.
Because evolution never stops, the reader should continue to check this site for more changes. But be aware that evolution produces adaptation to the current environment, and should bananas die out, or produce a self-slicing variety, the Hutzer Slicer may go the way of the dodo (See "Extinction in Your Kitchen," by M. Stewart and J. Child; compare C. Darwin, "The Origin of Species").
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I don't understand all your fancy book learnin' but you could search the four corners of the earth for 6,000 years and you'd never find a more awesome banana slicer my friend.
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Can we not just come to a compromise here and agree that the banana slicer is the method by which God enables us to slice bananas?
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  #46  
Old 12-29-2013, 08:08 PM
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One of the reasons why I weightlift with as much fervor and passion as I do is because I was never able to draw or create any art and I've always loved the idea of muscle bound men but could never express these ideas. So through weightlifting I endeavor to bring these images to fruition with my own body.
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  #47  
Old 01-19-2014, 08:45 AM
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Default Yeah, it's from tumblr. So what

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The new principal at my school used two phrases while addressing new dress code rules to a class.

"Modest is hottest." and "Boys will be boys."

He should have said something more along the lines of: “The school dress code was established to provide our students with a safe and orderly learning environment that is free from distractions.”

Let’s start with the phrase “Modest is hottest.” Shall we?

Modest-Having or showing a moderate estimation of one’s own talents, abilities, and value.

If modest is hottest, then it’s not modest.

You are literally sending the message to young girls, who are already struggling with self confidence, that hiding their body makes them more attractive. You are establishing a sense of shame in these young, developing minds and bodies. A human has the right to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Showing less skin doesn’t make you any more attractive. Showing more skin does not make you any less attractive. When someone calls you attractive that just means that they are attracted to you.

At what point in your career did you find it appropriate to define my “hotness”? Why are you at all concerned with how “hot” I am? You are teaching us, through modesty, to be objects of sexual arousal. I’m sorry, but I don’t dress myself to look “hot” for anyone. I dress myself as a way of expressing myself and my body. “If covering up my body is supposed to make people sexually/physically attracted to me, then how would those people feel if I decide to have sexual relations with them, without clothes on?” “How am I supposed to love and feel proud of my naked body and develop a sense of sexuality when exposing my body is deemed shameful and unattractive?” Since when should being “hot” be my concern. I don’t want to be with someone who just thinks I’m hot. I want to be with someone who loves and respects all the parts of my mind, personality, and body. THAT’S what you should be teaching, not “How to be hot.”.

My body is not a sinful temptation that needs to be hidden.
My body is not your personal, sexual object.
My body does not overshadow my character.
My body is not any more sexual than a man’s body.
My body is not here to look “hot” for you.

Next up is “Boys will be boys.”

Being a boy refers to your gender. That’s all.

It does not make you constantly sexually aroused, animalistic, or sexually uncontrollable, but for some reason society has come to the conclusion that you are this stereotype. This is extremely sad. This gender stereotype is unfair to all men. By telling them who they are as a man you are absolutely taking away their moral agency. “But he’s a teenager. He’s raging with hormones.” You don’t think I’m raging with hormones as well? Believe me I am. Men are not stupid. They are not unable to see when someone is not consenting to sex. It’s not ‘in their nature’ to rape because they are a man, it’s not ‘in their nature’ because IT’S WRONG TO RAPE SOMEONE. Raping someone is a cognitive choice. (how modestly the victim dresses does not affect them being raped). When the few people that do sexually harass people happen to be male and you use the excuse “Boys will be boys.” you are not only excusing their behavior, you are condoning it. It’s this “Boys will be boys.” mentality, culture, and attitude that condone sexual assault. Whenever the excuse “Boys will be boys.” is used, it’s just an exercise of male privilege. It’s this attitude that condones sexual assault. You are giving them a free license that makes it okay for them to be sexually violent, that says “Well I’m a boy, it’s just who I am.” Sex needs to stop being about “no no no bad dirty gross shameful” and start being about “Yes. Let’s have consenting sex because I want to.” Consent. THAT’S what you should be teaching, not “Well you know how they are… Boys will be boys!”

Boys are not sexually uncontrollable.
Boys do not have a genetic, animalistic, violent nature.
Boys are not born with a natural desire for destruction or control.

Despite what society and culture keeps trying to cram down everyone’s throat, having a penis doesn’t make it okay to sexually harass someone. The false idea that men can’t control themselves is so unfair and completely ridiculous.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
The next day He called me down to his office to discuss my concerns. (Students and teachers told him about it, which I expected)
I spent a good hour and a half arguing with the principle about his comments when he called me down to his office, today. I offered to send him what I posted if he was interested in reading it. He said “No, that won’t be necessary.” I explained to him that I wanted him to read what I wrote and I would appreciate it if he did. He said “No, I don’t really care to read it. That’s okay.”

I asked him what he meant by the phrase “boys will be boys” and he explained that if a girl is inappropriately dressed that it can lead to inappropriate, sexual touching and staring (sexual harassment). If a boy chooses to sexually harass someone, it’s his choice no matter what his gender is.
He explained to me that boys are more “wound up” than girls are. I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that so I asked him for a different adjective and after a minute of mumbling he chose the word “aggressive” but then followed that up with “…well I don’t think that’s the correct word to use…”. I agree, not the best word to use, eh?

I asked him to explain why boys are different than girls in this regard and he said “Well to start, all boys are attracted to girls…” I interrupted with “No. There are actually boys who are attracted to other boys.” He laughed and said “Oh, yes of course!”… I guess that part must have slipped his mind.

I asked him, in general, what the difference is between girls and boys. He said that boys “misbehave more” and are “outgoing”. He said that girls are “reserved”. That’s all. That’s the word he used, “reserved”. Boys and girls are different because they have different organs and hormones. Being a girl doesn’t automatically make me reserved. Just like being a boy doesn’t make you automatically misbehave. I explained to him that by using the phrase “Boys will be boys.”, he is excusing and condoning bad behavior from boys, such as sexual harassment and rape. “But that’s not reality, that’s your opinion.” he said.

He explained that his daughters “behave” and that his nephews were disrespectful… because they are boys. I said “That has nothing to do with their gender. They act that way because of how they were raised, the environment they are living in, and the choices they make.”

I told him that the phrases he used were sexist and stereotypical and unfair to all genders. I explained to him that many students and people of society were offended by what he said and the phrases he used. I told him that I thought he should apologize for what he said and explain to students and society that this kind of message is not okay or appropriate.

He said he wouldn’t apologize for that, but he would give me an apology, which was “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

After he dodged almost every question I asked by sharing his plans to improve LHS, he decided that he had had enough of not being able to answer my questions or concerns and ended our discussion by saying “I’m going to end this discussion.” and I was sent back to class.
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  #48  
Old 01-19-2014, 09:41 AM
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Link plz? I'd like to share that woth some people.
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  #49  
Old 01-19-2014, 10:25 AM
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I am wondering if this is a genuine thing or if it's just "normal" existential depression.
I have always been plagued by existential thoughts and suffer something called Pure O, which is a sub-category of OCD. Meaning the more I try not to think about things, the more I think about the thing.
For the last 5 years I have thought about all sorts of existential things and feel like I have ended up in a sort of "existential psychosis" if you will.
I no longer have free will.
The universe has no creator and thus no purpose.
Life is meaningless objectively and subjectively if we're honest with ourselves.
There is no moral truths.
Deep love/Real love/Romantic love doesn't really exist. It's all oxytocin released in the brain to make me think I care about this other piece of complex meat so our genes can be passed on
Noone really cares about eachother, it's all a illusion caused by the evolutionary psychology. E.G. I pretend to care about your well-being so you will care about my well-being or the well-being of my kin.
And on and on and on...
All of this has left me completley dead. There is a complete void inside of me. Nothing interests me. Not money, not sex, not food. Nothing. I am sure everyone will just call it "depressed", but if that is all there is, then this is the truth and "non-depressed" means being deluded into thinking life is worthwhile and meaningful ;\
I struggle to even go outside anymore as things just make no sense and is too absurd.
From reddit.

You know, I think I know a lot of gas station attendants and fitness club custodians who think the same exact things!

So many secret geniuses among us.
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  #50  
Old 01-19-2014, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Wolfgang View Post
Link plz? I'd like to share that woth some people.
Here.

EDIT: Also, wrong thread, Dizzy.
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  #51  
Old 02-08-2014, 09:07 PM
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Default Fan-culture

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It's a personal theory - fandoms don't emerge simply because something is good but because people saw a subculture they wanted to be a part of. Once that first tiny spark happens, a huge internet fandom - and therefore a sudden influx of new interest in whatever it's for - becomes a possibility.

I do not know dick about Homestuck, but using it as an example: I know what it is because I saw people talking about it and mentioning it. If that piques your interest, you go read about it - and probably become a fan yourself and start discussing it with the rest of the people who got you into it in the first place. It's self-perpetuating. What makes that interesting is that means that, at some point, there was like one guy bringing up Homestuck around people who had no idea what he was talking about, and some of his friends probably thought he was a hipster*. But then some of them read it and so on and then eventually everyone in that group accepts it as a thing, even if they don't see it themselves. It becomes a 'real thing' that you're no longer an outsider for talking about. Doujins, I have to assume, have a similar sort of effect on the original work.

*Which might even be true. One of the more interesting parts about this effect is that it often starts entirely because the few people who found it of their own accord feel special being fans of it.

The point is there has to be a first fan for there to be a fandom, and that first set are really going out on a limb.

In short, if you like something obscure, recommend it to your friends incessantly and one day maybe everyone will know about it. Someone has to be that weirdo who took the first step and said 'hey guys, have you heard about ___?'

I have absolutely no sources for this whatsoever but being an internet user it isn't hard to notice the way these things start to grow. I think this is why a lot of people try to avoid popular things, they feel like it's being thrown at them instead of arising more organically.
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  #52  
Old 02-18-2014, 08:08 PM
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just found out i can edit posts. want to write "we're pregnant!", garner all the likes and congrats, then switch it to "doctor said i have terminal navel shimbles"
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  #53  
Old 04-23-2014, 07:24 PM
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Default I kind of want to eat this monstrosity anyway

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In an apparent attempt to win the gold medal in the 100-Meter Giving No Fucks at the You Have Got to Be Shitting Me Olympics, one Chicago eatery is selling a grilled cheese sandwich for $100. I am not making this up.

It's called the "Zillion Dollar Grilled Cheese" because of course it is, and it's being sold at the Deca Restaurant + Bar (apparently, the "+" is actually part of the title, because pretentious people will find a way to ruin everything, including conjunctions), located inside the Ritz-Carlton Chicago. It's actually a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, with black Iberico ham with enough eye-roll inducing descriptions attached to it ("thinly sliced black Iberico ham, sourced from pigs living primarily in the south of Spain, allowed to roam free in the pasture eating acorns until they are of proper size...then salted and air-dried for six weeks followed by a minimum curing process of 12 months") to make any hipsters reading this require an immediate change of shorts. It's then served on "artisan" sourdough bread, because that's not a word that gets needlessly thrown into everything in 2014. The cheese, meanwhile, is — no joke — 40-year aged Wisconsin cheddar infused with 24k gold flakes. You didn't read that wrong. They put gold flakes in the fucking cheese. Like you do.

Oh, but we're not done. It's also topped with white truffle aioli (no word on whether this contains ACTUAL truffles or whether it's a bastard offspring of the vomit-inducing foodstuff from Hades quite popular white truffle oil), heirloom tomatoes, 100-year-old aged balsamic vinegar (I literally just bashed my face into my desk), foie gras (OH COME ON) and topped with a sunny-side up duck egg. Why would you top it with a sunny-side up duck egg? Because why the fuck not, who gives a shit any more. The whole thing is served with a side of lobster mac and cheese, because they sat down and thought, "what's the single douchiest side dish we could serve with this?" and BOOM, lobster mac and cheese.

I'm pretty sure they invented this sandwich just to raise my blood pressure. I'm going to go make a grilled cheese sandwich with Kraft American cheese just to spite them, and I am going to MOTHERFUCKING ENJOY IT, trying, of course, to ignore the fact that I'm BASICALLY EATING PLASTIC.
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  #54  
Old 04-24-2014, 07:34 AM
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That only costs $100? And here I thought Chicago was cosmopolitan. Guess it's just another flyover city after all
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  #55  
Old 04-25-2014, 05:01 AM
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between this and Goldschalger, I have never understood the need/desire to INGEST gold.
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  #56  
Old 04-25-2014, 06:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Daikaiju View Post
between this and Goldschalger, I have never understood the need/desire to INGEST gold.
shiny poops





REALTALK: it's just an overly literal form of conspicuous consumption. gold leaf as a food additive and decoration goes back hundreds of years in European culture.
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  #57  
Old 04-25-2014, 06:46 AM
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Yeah, I know about that.
I still don't get it. /shrug
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  #58  
Old 04-25-2014, 06:50 AM
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But is it inert, and goes right through, or does it damage something along the way?
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  #59  
Old 04-25-2014, 07:42 AM
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We've got a shaker of gold leaf flakes in some drawer or other. We did fancy sundaes for a dinner party once. It does impress the hell out of guests, and nobody complained of dying afterwards.
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  #60  
Old 04-25-2014, 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Droewyn View Post
We've got a shaker of gold leaf flakes in some drawer or other. We did fancy sundaes for a dinner party once. It does impress the hell out of guests, and nobody complained of dying afterwards.
Well sure, they can't complain once they've died of gold flake ingestion.
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