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  #61  
Old 09-05-2017, 01:44 PM
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I don't see how anyone could fairly criticize that movie.

I mean; katana dinofight alone makes it one of the best films of the year.
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  #62  
Old 09-11-2017, 10:59 AM
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Godzilla Vs. Space Godzilla is a huge disappointment, if only because you can see a much better story struggling to break free of its mediocrity. And the name of that better story is "Godzilla: The Half-Century War" by James Stokoe.

Really, can't recommend that book enough.

Anyway, this movie juggles about a dozen plots and while its easy to infer connections between all of them, none of them really conclude; it's more like the scriptwriters just forgot about them. The important bits are that the G-Force decided to give Mecha Godzilla another shot, but, this time make him look silly as hell, giving us the goofiest looking giant monster in this franchise with Mogera. And it's a good thing they did as a Terrible Space Monster (my favorite term ever) that doesn't actually look like Godzilla whatsoever, but is nevertheless called Space Godzilla is about to attack the Earth.

Meanwhile, on Monster Island, Godzillas little Baby has grown up into the Godzooky-lookin' Little Godzilla and, more relevant to the plot, the brother of... one of the many ineffective soldiers who tried to kill Godzilla in one of the earliar movies (Biolante, I believe) wants revenge on that green whale, and decided to plant teargas bombs all over the beach and is going to shoot Godzilla in the arm! With a gun!

I am completely unsure whether or not this is supposed to be treated as a credible threat. I mean, it super isn't one, but everyone is acting like Godzilla is in peril. Also, they're back to Godzilla being the defender of the Earth in this movie, despite the content of every other film.

Besides this, there's also another subplot that almost drives the plot but is, again, totally forgotten without any kind of resolution in that G-Force is also trying to use telepathy to control Godzilla. Using it only ever seems to attract Space Godzilla, however, and eventually the Mafia gets involved for reasons that are murky beyond words.

Anyway, Space Godzilla shows up on Monster Island and kidnaps Little Godzilla (who thought the giant, blue and red monster covered in crystals was his dad...) and this cheeses off Big G to no end. Then Space G heads to the city and starts building an Energy Zone (another stupid term I love) as part of an effort to start his attack on the Earth in earnest.

Godzilla winds up working together with the old guy who tried to shoot him earlier, and who is now piloting Mogera, and together they smash all of Space Gs crystals, weakening him enough for Godzilla to wrap up the movie with his Red Spiral Breath.

As Godzilla walks back into the sea, the old man chases him on the beach to say he forgives him, and we get our enviromentalism message d'jour; that Space Godzilla was created by Godzillas cells entering space, that we shouldn't pollute outer space, or else more giant monsters will come.

That's certainly a relevant message.

The movie almost felt spiteful in being so mediocre. So many minor plot points that could have helped the plot are just ignored. There's plenty of set up from earlier movies that could have affected the plot that aren't even acknowledged, and the ones that are called back are inexplicable. Coming after the rock-solid MechaGodzilla, and being so similar to the exceptional Half-Century War just makes it stand out as being all the worse.

In conclusion; read this instead;

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  #63  
Old 09-13-2017, 12:08 AM
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Uhm, ahem, *derisively snorts and pushes glasses up on his nose*

The kooky guy who wants to kill Godzilla by shooting him with a gun is not the brother of Colonel Gondo, aka one of the Badass Heaven Trifecta of Doom, he was his best friend. That one scientist lady who is not a psychic is Colonel Gondo's hot sister.

I, ahuh, hope you fired whoever's fact checking your work!
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  #64  
Old 09-13-2017, 03:49 AM
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This is not the first complaint we've had about his work. Rest assured that the problem is being addressed.

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As an apology for your poor customer service, please accept your choice of either a free pizza, or a personal hug from our mascot; Huggzo the Octopus.
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  #65  
Old 09-14-2017, 12:38 PM
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The Heisei era is, frankly, kind of a wreck. A lot of the plots made little sense, and while having a through-line of the formation of G-Force and Godzilla becoming a dad was nice, there were maybe two movies that are worth watching on their own merits, rather than to experience and sit with a transfixed expression.

And, fortunately, this is not only one of those, but one of the best assembled movies in the franchise; Godzilla vs. Destroyah. Or "Destroyer" is you prefer. And I imagine everyone does prefer.

Movie starts oddly, as Godzilla attacks a city. That doesn't sound odd, but that's because Godzilla usually has a goal in mind and a city happens to be in his way. Also, he isn't typically on fire when he's doing it, and saves the Red Spiral Breath for the last few minutes of the movie. Here's he's in a pained rampage; seems the living nuclear reactor that is his heart has a bit of an overdose of radiation since Space Godzilla (Monster Island has a high Uranium content and is also volcanic; it wound up over-radiating him). This is pretty bad as while a regular-sized nuclear reactor could obliterate a city were it to explode, one that's four-hundred feet tall and built entirely out of rage could crack the planet in half.

So while G-Force is scrambling to figure out a way to stop Godzilla without harming him (and trying to find Little Godzilla, who's gone missing), a new problem crops up. Seems that, at some point over the previous fifty years an oil rig was built directly over the site where the Oxygen Destroyer was deployed that killed Godzilla back in the 50s; and while the destroyer melted Big G and killed every fish in Tokyo bay, it also wound up mutating microscopic sea-bugs. Making them ten feet tall and giving them SKELETON BREATH. And the work on the oil rig has just broken through their nest, releasing them to the surface.

While the police try to kill off the escaped bugs loose in the city (in a scene that is, frankly, pretty much exactly Aliens), G-Force finishes rebuilding the SUPER-X2 into the SUPER X-3 and armed it with freeze rays, hoping they can freeze Godzilla solid and thus prevent him from going nuclear; and, meanwhile, they ALSO find Little Godzilla who has finished going through Dino Puberty and is now a second (smaller) Godzilla! The freezing plan doesn't work as well as hoped as, while he's frozen completely solid, Gs body is still building up heat at a startling rate and is scant hours from exploding.

And, because THAT isn't quite enough going on, the bugs come back, since the police were only able to stop like, three of them. And, more to the point; they apparently have the power to combine into one massive super monster; GIANT NUCLEAR INSECT KING: THE DESTROYER! A vast spider-like dragon that, besides being able to breath out lightning, also exhales micro-oxygen, a chemical that behaves just like the Oxygen Destroyer.

Fortunately, Godzilla Jr. (taking after his dad), absolutely CAN NOT ABIDE the sight of another monster and hops right into combat. And manages to do pretty well; taking a few lumps but also blasting a hole through The Destroyers chest, then Godzilla, thawed off shows up and we have a Father/Son Tag Team Atomic Dinosaur Throwdown as both Zillas attack Destroyer!

Unfortunately, Destroyer was taking a few pages from the anime playbook and hadn't yet revealed his True Form; undergoing a mutation that granted him into a new EVEN STRONGER body, and replacing the spider-parts with bat parts (kind of a step down aesthetically, but quite a step up offensively). Then he up and kills Jr. by throwing him around like a sack of potatoes.

And, buddy, if you think you've seen Godzilla ticked off before, you haven't seen him just after you kill his son. I mean, he was already literally on fire with rage and busting out movie-ending super attacks before anything happened in the movie. Here he smacks The Destroyer so hard he breaks into his component spiders.

Its like Popeye punching a cow so hard it starts raining hamburgers.

Now; good news bad news; killing off the spiders is no big deal, so the threat of the Destroyer is gone. Bad news is that it's too late to stop Gs meltdown; he's going to explode now.

But; like The Doctor (or, Rodan, a couple of movies ago) instead of just dying, he breaks apart into sparkles and those sparkles flow into the dead Jr. Resurrecting him and turning him into a new King of the Monsters; who absorbs the apocalyptic level of radiation no problem, and remains to keep the world safe from gigantic monsters. And also sometimes wreck stuff.

And so ends the middle (and middlin') part of the franchise.
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  #66  
Old 09-14-2017, 01:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
And, fortunately, this is not only one of those, but one of the best assembled movies in the franchise; Godzilla vs. Destroyah. Or "Destroyer" is you prefer. And I imagine everyone does prefer.
Thank you.
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  #67  
Old 09-14-2017, 02:51 PM
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Yeah I always used to think of the Heisei movies as "the cool new ones," but really they're sorta more like Godzilla's awkward teenage years.

The third series does a better job with theming its movies, even if it tosses out the whole continuity thing. Maybe that's for the better, anyway.

Vs. Destroyer was sorta the white whale G movie for me back when I learned about these movies - like I've said, it didn't get a release in the US until well after Emmerich's not-zilla, and in the meantime all I had was a plot summary in a book with associated still photos and poster art. Trendmasters didn't even make a figure of him in their 90s toyline! C'mon, Trendmasters. You make a god damn Varan figure, but not a Destroyer? What's wrong with you?

But about the movie, I thought it looked like the boss-est G movie ever, and Godzilla totally dies at the end! Whoooaaa! That's crazy! Turns out, the movie actually is pretty boss, and if I was showing someone ten Godzilla movies, this might be the one I pick from Heisei.
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  #68  
Old 09-14-2017, 03:07 PM
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I prefer 'Destroyah'
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  #69  
Old 09-14-2017, 03:19 PM
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Desutoroyaa or バースト
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  #70  
Old 09-14-2017, 03:19 PM
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You also prefer uncooked chili dogs.

Destroyer is perhaps the most Final Boss-looking of all Godzilla monsters. Maybe Kaiser Ghidorah too, but that's it. Everything else ranks mid-boss at best.

Gigan is perhaps Starscream-tier. That's it.
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  #71  
Old 09-14-2017, 03:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
You also prefer uncooked chili dogs.

Destroyer is perhaps the most Final Boss-looking of all Godzilla monsters. Maybe Kaiser Ghidorah too, but that's it. Everything else ranks mid-boss at best.

Gigan is perhaps Starscream-tier. That's it.
Those dogs were cooked! It says it right on the goddamn package!
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  #72  
Old 09-14-2017, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
You also prefer uncooked chili dogs.

Destroyer is perhaps the most Final Boss-looking of all Godzilla monsters. Maybe Kaiser Ghidorah too, but that's it. Everything else ranks mid-boss at best.

Gigan is perhaps Starscream-tier. That's it.
Not Ghidorah, Madou Kaizer Ghidorah!
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  #73  
Old 09-15-2017, 11:18 AM
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Not Ghidorah, Madou Kaizer Ghidorah!
IS that the four legged one that is merged with mechagigan?
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  #74  
Old 09-15-2017, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Gigan is perhaps Starscream-tier. That's it.
I've always seen Gigan as having a sort of Starscream-like personality, so this checks out.
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  #75  
Old 09-15-2017, 08:44 PM
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My buddy is trying to find a kaiju movie title that starred a giant kappa. But it isn't Death Kappa, but rather something from the 50's or 60's, he thinks. Anyone got any idea what it could be?
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  #76  
Old 09-15-2017, 09:07 PM
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The closest I can think of is Gappa: The Triphibian Monster, but from what I can tell, it's not specifically based on a kappa. It just has a beak and is semi-aquatic. Apparently the plot is basically a knockoff of Gorgo.

Speaking of which, I just realized that Gorgo (1961) appeared in color before either King Kong or Godzilla (1962). How about that.
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  #77  
Old 09-19-2017, 02:57 PM
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Buddy, you might like Godzilla. You might love Godzilla.

But if you haven't opened your heart and let Godzilla 2000 into your life, you don't know jack squat about Godzilla. Before I saw this movie, my exposure to the Atomic Dad was just in catching the movies being rerun on Space as a wee-un. And believe me when I tell you that watching Godzillas Revenge and Monster Zero with commercial interruptions does precious little to endear you to the franchise. Then I saw this movie as one of the very first DVDs I rented. And I said "Okay, I guess this series is my entire jam, now.

I also liked the cartoon based on the Matthew Broderick movie, I guess.

With perhaps the exception of Final Wars, I don't think there's another Godzilla movie that perfectly encapsulates exactly what I love about that big ol' lug.

The movie opens with a father/daughter team of Adventure Scientists, who work as Kaiju Storm-Chasers who have teamed up with a plucky reporter to get the Big Scoop on Godzilla, and his fascination with smashing down nuclear power plants, in a sequence that is Basically Exactly Jurassic Park, if the T-Rex was four-hundred-feet tall.

I count, like, four things in that paragraph that make me throw my arms into the air and go "wooooo".

While they're doing that, a BADSCIENCEMAN, Mr. Katagiri (easily in the top 2 Best Human Characters in the franchise) has launched his own secret project; examining a weird meteor he found buried deep underwater. A Meteor that dug its own dang self up as soon as they shone a flashlight on it, and which seems to be tracking the strongest source of light around.

Later, Godzilla is expected to make landfall on Japan itself, so the military gets there first and launches a plan involving special missiles designed to go through Godzilla "Like Crap Through a Goose", and involving a great many bad-cg explosions and bad CG helicopters. This plan to kill Godzilla with missiles works precisely as well as every other plan to destroy Godzilla with missiles, but does distract him while the giant meteor (having been exposed to sunlight) suddenly wakes up, grows a giant laser and chases down Godzilla and blasts him clear over the horizon; sheds its rocky exterior to reveal itself as a bad CG Spaceship pilotted by the villainous Millenials, and parks itself right over the cities TV tower.

Science Dad puts aside his antagonism with him and teams up with BADSCIENCEMAN to study the Godzilla giblets that were blown off during the fight. Together they learn that Godzilla can heal super quickly (thanks, guys. Never realized that before). Meanwhile, the giant Bad CG spaceship uses a series of electrical tentacles to eat all the data on the internet, so it learns that Godzilla has unnaturally effective healing powers as well as a (newfound) hankering to hunt down and destroy powerful sources of energy, and decides to wait around for Godzilla to invariably show up and then steal his DNA to make its occupants invulnerable nuclear dinosaurs as well.

The military also tries to attack the spaceship by planting bombs in the building its parked over top of and I'm honestly not sure how they thought that would help, but it gaves us an exciting bomb-escape sequence for Science Dad, who was still in the building at the time.

Then Godzilla shows up for round 2 against the spaceship ("There's only one thing on Godzillas mind, Revenge") which manages to go even worse for him; the aliens advanced laser weaponry knocks G around like a pinball and its otherwordly skill at computer hacking lets it control every fiber-optic wire in the city and uses them like ropes to hold him down.

I'd question how hacking a computer lets you control the wires it's hooked up to, but, well, obviously it does work exactly like that so who am I to complain.

With Godzilla in a severe state at having been knocked down, the Millennial ship shoots out more electro-tentacles and steals the regeneration right out of Godzillas DNA, granting the Millennials the power to assume their Final Boss form; GIANT ARMORED FROG ORGA, who kind of looks like Cloverfield, if he hit the gym a lot and took some protein supplements.

Orga trounces Godzilla pretty handily since his regeneration factor is even stronger than Gs, and he grows stronger with every bite of Godzillas tasty hide he takes. And so he decides to end the fight quickly by doing the single stupidest thing any villain has done in any movie I'd ever seen; and tries to swallow Godzilla whole.

Not quite realizing until the last moment, that, well, Godzilla can shoot nuclear fire out of his mouth. And his body is quite radioactive. So he dies.

Then Bad Scienceman pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and stares at Godzilla as he approaches. And Godzilla looks back at him. And then punches him right in the face.

And then we're treated to one of the greatest scenes in cinema history;

As we witness scenes of Godzilla furiously destroying what little of the city survived his fight against Orga, one of the Science Lads pines "It's ironic, that ship was buried on Earth for 70 million years... and Godzilla destroys it the very next day."

"We scientists produced this Monster, Godzilla. And ever since, we've tried to destroy him.", states another while Godzilla continues wrecking the city with no resistance.

"But why, why does he protect us"

further scenes of Godzilla laying waste to the city

"Because, there's a little Godzilla inside each one of us"

Godzilla roars and releases a blast of flame, turning the city to ashes, theme-song kicks up as the end credits roll.

And I stand up and start applauding and shouting for an encore.

I give this movie one hundred thumbs up and nominate it for a nobel peace prize in the field of cultural impact.
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