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  #13531  
Old 01-04-2017, 05:20 PM
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wait does that wall say "rape sux"

I mean I agree but, to what end is it on the wall
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  #13532  
Old 01-04-2017, 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by madhair60 View Post
Neither have I! It was a very funny joke about console wars I thought but apparently NOT
it was a totally funny joke about console wars that I totally missed because I haven't been in spaces where people console-warred at all in years

which is an interesting realization to stumble upon as regards my current outlook so thank you for that
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  #13533  
Old 01-04-2017, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by madhair60 View Post
wait does that wall say "rape sux"

I mean I agree but, to what end is it on the wall
I thought it said Rare sucks. Which makes me think he's not a fan of the SNES DK games...
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  #13534  
Old 01-04-2017, 05:26 PM
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I thought it said Rare sucks. Which makes me think he's not a fan of the SNES DK games...
He's incensed about Rare's betrayal (acquisition by Microsoft).
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  #13535  
Old 01-04-2017, 05:27 PM
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People on the internet are under a continual pressure to generate 'opinions', even in the rudimentary form of a Like or Subscribe. But forming an actual opinion requires actual work. (Note: work is distinct from 'effort' or 'caring' or whatever). You have to go through the process of interpretation.

Let's go over the basic plot of TFA, for example:

The evil Snoke is for some reason obsessed with killing Luke Skywalker. He has the basic goal is pure technological progress or whatever, but killing Luke is his main concern. To that end he has brainwashed a bunch of children by putting them in robot suits. He then uses his new robot army to convert the ancient planet Ilum, source of the mystical Force-related Kyber Crystals, into a giant factory and secret base for a nuclear-grade laser weapon.

That's the wookiepedia backstory, of course. In the actual film, the characters are just dumped into this conflict and told that they've got to go fast. Run really fast in a straight line and avoid traps. Bop the stormtroopers in the head and they will immediately revert to an 'innocent' state of nature. There is CG imagery of greenery and of ancient temples being crushed by Snoke's progress, but the heroes don't really think about the implications. The plight of the stormtroopers is an afterthought. The goal is simply to burn away 'impurity' with cleansing light - humiliating the bad, pompous totalitarian.

So yeah, as I was getting to earlier, TFA is absolutely identical, in both plot and narrative, to the original Sonic The Hedgehog series of games:

"The evil mad scientist Dr. Eggman is up to his old nasty tricks again. 'Sonic... that annoying, impertinent hedgehog. Thanks to him, my great plans are always laid to waste! Oh, but this time, I'm going to rub him out with the power of science! Ha ha ha ha ha...'

South Island is a treasure trove of gems and ancient ruins. They say that it's the island where the mystical Chaos Emeralds lie. The Chaos Emeralds are a super-material that give energy to all living beings. Also, when applied to scientific purposes, they can be used for nuclear and laser based weaponry. However, nobody knows exactly how to get ahold of these emeralds. At the same time, though, they do say that the reason why South Island is always moving is because the emeralds are somewhere inside the island's hazy depths.

One day, crisis visited upon the island. And who showed up with it but Dr. Eggman and his cronies. 'I'll find those emeralds even if I have to dig up the entire island to do it!'

Dr. Eggman set up a fort in one corner of the island, and went about carrying out his plan.

'Eggman, you still haven't had enough?' Sonic hurried as soon as he heard the news. Dr. Eggman never seemed to leave him alone, even though Sonic had beaten him every time so far. It sounded like Dr. Eggman considered Sonic his sworn enemy, but he was never any match for Sonic.

However, this time something is amiss.

'Have you seen it, Sonic? This time is going to be different! Because this time, I've turned all the animals on the island into robots!'

'E, Everybody!?'

''All of them go about in accordance to my orders. In other words, Sonic, everyone on the island is your enemy! Gya- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ^cough^ ^ack^ ^ahem^. This time, the world really will be all mine!'

This is terrible! Hurry! Sonic the Hedgehog - everyone is waiting for your help!"
-Sonic The Hedgehog instruction manual, 1991

The comparison of TFA to Sonic is obviously not limited to that aforementioned weird adult presexuality; these works share an ideology. One of Sonic's subgoals is to 'free' the industrious worker drones from their tools and into nature. It's just taken as a given that they don't want to have cool mech suits equipped with drills and saws. The animals are tossed naked into the virtual paradise of polygonal trees and grid-textured dirt. (It's his status as an immortal adult plastic cartoon in a virtual Garden Of Innocence that gives Sonic his immense proto-furry appeal. It's the stuff inflation fetishes are made of.) In Sonic's view, he will be 'greeted as a liberator.' None of those ugly factories are allowed on South Island - but then, who makes Sonic's red Nikes?

TFA is pretty much a straight adaptation of this. Not even the more-nuanced JC Avatar has as many points in common.
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  #13536  
Old 01-05-2017, 02:48 AM
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Originally Posted by madhair60 View Post
Neither have I! It was a very funny joke about console wars I thought but apparently NOT
It's not your fault madhair. We remember the console wars. We fought in the console wars. But this newer generations... they haven't. They have been spoiled by console peace.

Don't get me wrong, console peace is good. Is why we went to the trenches. But console peace is all these younglings know - they don't remember the big crash, the resurgence of console loyalty, the sniping, the posting from the trenches, the big revolt during Sonic Tuesday... They don't remember so they haven't learned the right lessons. I'm afraid time flows like a river, and console war will break upon the next generation one day....
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  #13537  
Old 01-05-2017, 03:09 PM
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The console wars will always be with us. Some, like Raider may think they have forgotten, but they are wrong. And they will know it when they wake from some half-remembered nightmare, drenched in sweat, a small moan escaping their lips.

"Seee-gaaa"
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  #13538  
Old 01-05-2017, 03:33 PM
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  #13539  
Old 01-05-2017, 04:32 PM
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Well... YouCanjam isn't wrong per se... just a bit of an understatement.
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  #13540  
Old 01-06-2017, 02:20 AM
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So that's why he kept trying to build the Death Egg
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  #13541  
Old 01-07-2017, 09:43 PM
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Quote:



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  #13542  
Old 01-08-2017, 09:56 AM
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  #13543  
Old 01-08-2017, 07:08 PM
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yes that's what star wars needs

more retconning for continuity

*uses both arms and a leg to push up nerd glasses at bridge*
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  #13544  
Old 01-08-2017, 07:21 PM
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My favourite thing about the prequels is that someone realized Anakin has to lose all of his limbs, but it just looks silly and overly cruel if they get cut off one by one. So Anakin's final move in that fight is to ineffectually scream and do a ridiculous flying somersault so that Obi Wan can cut off all three of his remaining limbs in one go. It's the dumbest thing.


reminder: I have never seen any of the good Stars War
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  #13545  
Old 01-08-2017, 10:30 PM
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Default I may have shared this in IRC a while back, but it merits a postin'

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I'm not sorry for comparing the social justice movement to the alt-right, because I honestly believe that the modern social justice movement acts in such a way that it defeats its own stated goals by acting in an obnoxious manner. Talking down to people, or giving them caustic labels, for merely disagreeing or doing something obviously innocuous, only strengthens the vilest people on the other side. A genuine racist doesn't shrink away from being called a racist; he accepts the label, and seeing people he opposes react in an extremely negative manner only emboldens him. There's also the fact that demonization creates demons. If someone is to be labeled a bigot, why wouldn't he decide to act like one, if only to anger the opposition? I'd bet top dollar that a good percentage of those Twitter neo-Nazis don't actually believe anything they're saying, they are just saying it to be provocative. By throwing condemnation around like candy, the social justice movement has succeeded only in making bigotry hip, cool and edgy.
You know, out of...pretty much everything said here, I think the point I'd want to reply with - if I had to of course - would simply be that pretty much every fascist dictator we've seen in history has quite vigorously attempted to act on their rhetoric and promises. This includes our buddy Adolf.
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  #13546  
Old 01-09-2017, 05:04 AM
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I have to agree with "demonisation creates demons", but, you know, sometimes demons is demons.

I laughed out loud at "a genuine racist doesn't shrink away from being called a racist". Billy bollocks.
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  #13547  
Old 01-09-2017, 06:07 AM
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I was in a Wetherspoons in Birmingham one time, slightly pissed. I ordered some food. When it arrived, I was mildly baffled. Apparently I ordered something off the menu that didn't exist - I'd read it wrong. Presumably the barman just put through the nearest thing that sounded like what I ordered. Ten minutes later the waitress brought me a free bowl of chips - to apologize for a mistake she didn't even make on behalf of a pissed bald idiot who can't even read a Wetherspoons menu properly. I tried to stutter out a marriage proposal but she was already gone.
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  #13548  
Old 01-09-2017, 08:07 AM
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Always takes a second to remember what "pissed" means over there.
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  #13549  
Old 01-09-2017, 08:09 AM
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All my favourite ones aren't especially good stories, they're just prosaic examples of me having a nice time with lovely people whilst off my box. I will say though that I thought the mirror at the back of Bar Rhumba was the entrance to another room and I danced up to it thinking 'that bloke looks like me...he's noticed the resemblance, he's grinning...I'll give him a wave...he's waving at me!'

I regret to inform readers of this forum that actually happened twice.
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  #13550  
Old 01-09-2017, 12:53 PM
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Now I want to know what the commenter thought they'd ordered and what they wound up getting instead, but my guess is they were too far gone to recall what it was to get it right anyway
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  #13551  
Old 01-09-2017, 03:33 PM
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Hate people who [write in the margins] in library books. Except that one time I was struggling through a book on Catholicism for an essay that was very obviously written by an angry Protestant and it was really laying into the ~idolatry involved in the Mary ~cult and someone wrote in red ink all caps SHE BROUGHT THE LITTLE BUGGER UP, YOU CUNT! and I just about died laughing.
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  #13552  
Old 01-09-2017, 04:46 PM
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You tell 'em, you beautiful Papist pottymouth.
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  #13553  
Old 01-09-2017, 05:13 PM
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Sailor is David Bowie btw. This was on his own fan forum.
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  #13554  
Old 01-10-2017, 03:29 AM
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Following a typically robust 'Cum hosepipe' ejaculation from Sir Alec Guinness, a bespattered Noel Coward exclaimed "My Goodness!...My Guinness...." this was overheard by a fellow Lyon's Corner House diner, Mr Jasper Clam , who scuttled back to his office at S H Benson's advertising agency and shouted "I've nailed the Guiness contract !! Listen to this ,guys : 'Guiness..Drink it and cum like a fucking geyser' ". Mr Clam's Idea's often needed slight finessing: 'Chill..have a wank' was a smidge away from the 'Keep Calm And Carry On' it became.
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  #13555  
Old 01-10-2017, 05:37 AM
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You've been a Taxi driver for the last few weeks. Pretty good, you know all the shortcuts, the best times of these wretched streets and junctions. You can take fleet street on a good 40, whatever the hell that means.

You're a bit chirpy, you take interest in your passengers. How's life? Bloody weather eh? You tell your passengers that you wish there were MORE immigrants if anything. You don't like to be typecast. You get a name as being a bit of a maverick. A cool cat amongst the pigeons. Even the rival taxi drivers are wary of you. A silent nod as you pass the ABC fleet street yellow cabs. Lowered eyes amongst the Black cab crew. Not so much of a beep as you pass down King street, as you roll past the 292 rank. You pass the lower district, your foggy headlights shining amongst the dagger-like rain. A thumb, a woman no less. Dressed all in black. Red lipstick. A black rose at her breast.

'You going to Orlean street?', she says in a husky voice (quite loudly to be honest, as all your windows are all up and she's still about thirty feet away down the road), you remain quiet and pull up alongside her. You wind down your window all cool. You then wind down the other window, the one closer to her.

'Wanna ride? I can take you to Orlean street, wherever the hell that is'.

She jumps in. You risk a glance at the rear view window (as is standard practice in all safe driving regulations and you insist she fastens her seatbelt, otherwise you'd be liable in court should anyone injure themselves in your vehicle). The coast is clear, no approaching vehicles who might be closer than they actually look. You take drive North.

'Mind if I smoke?', her cat like eyes flick over yours in the mirror.

'No, I'd rather you put it out, it's a no smoking vehicle'

She licks her lips and winks and lights up the cigarette, blowing out a puff of blue smoke. Her eyes like pools of shadow in the dancing light.

'Oi! I just told you to fucking put that cig out. Do you wanna get out the fucking cab? You'll cost me my job. OI... stop it... Stop smoking in my Cab!'

---


We zoom out. To reveal you've been sat in a cardboard box for two weeks. You're using a frozen pizza as a steering wheel and a banana for a gear stick. The smell of burnt plastic is emanating from the oven in the nearby kitchen. It's the real steering wheel melting in the oven. No sign of any passengers

LOUD KNOCKING AT THE DOOR. IT'S THE POLICE.
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  #13556  
Old 01-10-2017, 06:39 AM
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Would watch.

Alternate post: YELLOW cabs???!!!???
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  #13557  
Old 01-11-2017, 04:01 PM
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Gamers scandalized upon learning Resident Evil 4 has dynamic difficulty:

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i fucking hate this system so damn fucking much it is an abomination of mankind.
the challenge in videogames (and life) is not only about being good enough to overcome something but also to GROW enough to be able to overcome it.
if a videogame makes itself easier if you fail, how are you supposed to grow? this is not how mankind evolved ;D
it basically robs us of our deepest human essence. our unique feature that only we have. the only species on this planet that, given enough time, can overcome basically ANYTHING. even flying to another motherfucking planet in the universe.

fuck _ this _ game
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What was the point of this video?! I fucking don't like this. I pride myself at being a champion at res evil only to learn that I was probably aided by the game?! I just don't know why there's a VIDEO on this information to begin with and not just left in the magazine. Was it to discredit all who believed themselves legends and superiors, leaving this uploader as the only real deal?! I hate this video.
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So there's a chance that I'm not as good as I think?! I wish I never watched this video. I'm totally bummed right now. :(
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  #13558  
Old 01-11-2017, 04:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Kishi View Post
Gamers scandalized upon learning Resident Evil 4 has dynamic difficulty:

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it basically robs us of our deepest human essence. our unique feature that only we have. the only species on this planet that, given enough time, can overcome basically ANYTHING. even flying to another motherfucking planet in the universe.
I KNEW there was a reason Capcom couldn't finish Mega Man Legends 3! It's because it took away our planet-hopping capacity!
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  #13559  
Old 01-11-2017, 07:48 PM
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"Legends and superiors."
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  #13560  
Old 01-12-2017, 09:04 AM
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The thing is that every game is designed to be beaten. Resident Evil 4 gives you ammo and health items so you can shoot enemies and heal injuries. Gamers see themselves as accomplishing something when they beat a game, but it's all a psychological trick.
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