The Return of Talking Time

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  #151  
Old 07-16-2016, 12:29 AM
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Had to strike while the Marmaduke market was red-hot and growing, I suppose.
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  #152  
Old 07-16-2016, 02:02 AM
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Had to strike while the Marmaduke market was red-hot and growing, I suppose.
Marmaduke lasted 50 years. That is SO depressing.
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  #153  
Old 07-16-2016, 02:30 AM
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You'd think that, in that time, they would have run out of jokes about how that dog is large.
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  #154  
Old 07-16-2016, 03:13 AM
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You'd think that, in that time, they would have run out of jokes about how that dog is large.
I continue to think that. It never quite went into the weird unintentional anti-comedy direction that Heathcliff seems to have gone in, though.



Guest written by J.D. Salinger.
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  #155  
Old 07-16-2016, 04:09 AM
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That was a thousand times funnier before I noticed the phones.
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  #156  
Old 07-16-2016, 12:25 PM
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IF you were more of a hack you could have made a fight club joke about clue club. I'm just enough of a lazy hack to mention such a joke without actually writing one.

Also, I see that Frank Welker provided the voice of the dog. Why am I not surprised?
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  #157  
Old 07-16-2016, 03:09 PM
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It’s an image so great, it was used again.

Heck Filmation used the sequence and title again:
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  #158  
Old 07-16-2016, 03:24 PM
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Heck Filmation used the sequence and title again:
What's interesting about this one is that apparently the robots not only fly into one another but break to pieces from the collision.
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  #159  
Old 07-16-2016, 04:48 PM
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What's interesting about this one is that apparently the robots not only fly into one another but break to pieces from the collision.
Yeah, it's rare that the opening credits are revealed to be the series finale. REALLY short series.
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  #160  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:17 PM
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What's interesting about this one is that apparently the robots not only fly into one another but break to pieces from the collision.
It's pretty accurate to the toys.
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  #161  
Old 07-16-2016, 05:56 PM
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I had a few of those toys as a kid(Got them second hand. I was young enough to not know the difference and didn't know until I looked it up on the net like 12 years later). The ones I had were durable as hell. One of them had an all die-cast torso.
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  #162  
Old 07-16-2016, 06:19 PM
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I had a few of those toys as a kid(Got them second hand. I was young enough to not know the difference and didn't know until I looked it up on the net like 12 years later). The ones I had were durable as hell. One of them had an all die-cast torso.
Mine lost the occasional arm or leg. In truth they were more durable than most Transformers.

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  #163  
Old 07-16-2016, 08:21 PM
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The ones I had were durable as hell. One of them had an all die-cast torso.
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  #164  
Old 07-17-2016, 02:17 AM
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Default Dr. Dolittle

Dr. Dolittle



I’m not too familiar with Dr. Dolittle outside of references from the Simpsons (“Doctor Dolittle is really Police Chief Wiggum” “This bird’s going to fly!”) though I have also heard lately (including through the Simpsons) is that it’s kind of an overblown slog. So that’s sort of where it begins and ends for me. I do like the idea of a story about a guy who can talk to animals, I guess, but that’s sort of old hat for a cartoon to be interesting.

Anyway, we begin our animated adaptation with “David H. DePatie and Friz Freleng present” in a jungle background, so you’ve been warned. A lion roars and the words turn into our title! Suddenly, the good doctor emerges from behind a bush and offers a lion an… apple? It’s a round red fruit but it seems to not have the proper apple shape, missing it’s oral and anal ends. The lion, having never seen such a fruit, makes an exclamation mark with his head. A happy monkey then takes the round thing, to Dolittle’s surprise and also a snake shows up and eats the titles and fills the screen with his eyes.

“I love to talk to the animals!
It’s incredible!
Chatting with a chippy chimpanzee.”

I had to look up with chippy means as an adjective and according to Merriam-Webster dictionary it means belligerent. It also describes a prostitute and a carpenter. This cartoon about learning the language of animals is likely (hopefully) abusing the English language by its third lyric.

Anyways, the eyes back off into a tree and Dr. Dolittle looks on. It turns out the set of eyes now belong to a tigers, who jumps out and growls at him. Dr. D leaps in surprise and falls on a stone which turns out to be a cheetah.

“To sit and natter with a tiger,
Chatter with a cheetah,
That’s a neat achievement, you’ll agree.”

I will, but even more impressive is what happens next. Now, as the two big cats look to devour him, Dolittle turns the tide and befriends the animals by saying “Good morning” in a word balloon. This IS impressive, but it isn’t what I’m getting at, see, that cheetah from before didn’t look like a curled by cheetah, it looked like a rock. And then, in response to making friends with Dolittle, he reveals more shapeshifting powers as his neck grows upwards.



The cheetah turns into a giraffe with an old timey gangster hanging off of his neck. The giraffe eats another round fruit and the bolus pushes the gangster off of his neck. The gangster then bounces, like, 5 times over to the rest of his gang, which I’ll by because if this is a world of shapeshifting animals, then a jungle floor with trampoline-like qualities isn’t entirely out of the question.

The gangster gets to sing, in the meantime.

“If I could talk to the animals,
Learn their languages
I could be the greatest man on Eart (sic)”

I’m not sure I agree with this. I mean, I’d be impressed but it if was a contest, you will find that Malala Yousafzai and Muhammad Yunus get ahead of the guy who talks to llamas. But go for it.

“If I could only find a teacher,
I could reach ech creepy creature,
Then think what Scurvy’s empire would be worth.”

Wait, his name is Scurvy? That’s an unfortunate nickname/given name. Also, I don’t care about the worth of an empire of a man named Scurvy. But if I were, I don’t really have a baseline of what it currently is and (call me unimaginative), I don’t really know what the potential of animal communication can do for your empire. I guess you could ask cats which old people are going to die soon and marry them for their money. You know what, Scurvy? I’m all turned around on this already. Sign me up, jungle gangster.

Anyway, we see the gangster hang out with his gang of pirates (potentially fun premise, but not amusing in and of itself), who are promptly devoured by a snake and they run around inside a snake before escaping.

During this moment, we end on a close-up of Scurvy’s eyes (a leit motif!) and they turn into Dolittle and a polar bear. The good doctor asks the bear to “say ah!” and he does. Look, I’m just going to get the lyrics out of the way before I get to the most horrifying aspect of this opening that was hinted at since the beginning of this damned thing.

Dolittle: “I can converse in polar bear and python”
Scurvy: “Yeah, he can curse in fluent kangaroo.”

I actually believe that if Kangaroo’s do have a language, whether audible or in body, it almost assuredly has swears. Not as foul as koala-talk though.

But the real horror here is THIS!



That’s right. The snake isn’t a snake and that tiger isn’t a tiger. They're one of those… THINGS!



As we see, the “snake” first absorbs the polar bear, taking on its form. With Dolittle as a witness, the snake absorbs him to, even before he finished his transformation. Then as it begins to take Dolittle’s form, it absorbs a kangaroo who was really in the wrong place at the wrong time. As it begins taking on the kangaroo’s shape and is visibly upset by his own existence, be finishes his Dolittle form, ready to spread the infection to the mainland.

“If people ask ‘can you speak rhinoceros?’
I say ‘of courseros’ and do!”

The erstatz Dolittle flesh beast then speaks to a rhino saying “Rhinoceros”, presumably as a formal greeting, and the rhino confusingly answers “courseros”. And then Dolittle rides off with him, presumably merging with him to become a rhino/centaur beast like in that episode of Futurama almost marries that guy who turns out to be a… shapeshifter! It all comes together.

We then see Scurvy trying to communicate with a skunk who becomes overwhelmed by SCURVY’S stench! It’s a switcheroo. Then he tries to communicate with some tropical birds while dress as a bird while tied to a tree, which causes one bird to cut his rope. I got to say, Scurvy’s winning me over. He doesn’t turn up his nose at talking to a skunk and is willing to meet birds half-way. For all his naughtiness, he’s not half-assing it. He’s willing to put in the time and the effort while most gangsters would say “Nyah, see! You’re gonna talk, see! Nyah! Stop looking at my floozy gal with the big pink boa, see! Arrh!” I threw in the arrh because he hangs out with pirates, so you know something’s going to rub off.

“If I controlled our four-legged friends,
And all our universe,
What a wicked place the world would be.”

I’d usually scold this kind of villain where it seems like he’s making the jump from talking animals to universal dominance, but please note that it is a hypothetical statement. They could be his plans, but I like to think this is more to show his hopes, dreams and values. Still, if you control the animals, don’t you control the animals anyway? But that’s just me nitpicking. Continue.

Dolittle: “Until then, only Dolittle talks with the animals”
Scurvy: “He grunts and he squeaks and he squawks with those animals.”
Dolittle: “And they can talk to me.”

We then see Scurvy trying to talk with a fish but it blows him into a bubble. Then talking to an elephant by using his nose and trunk as a phone. Then the thing-snake tries to eat the elephant and is blown up balloon style and it flies about the screen while being deflated.

Here, I think that even the creators where more into Scurvy. The end of your intro should tie it all together by this is where we end (with a “PLACE COMMERCIAL HERE” sign.)

Did It Make Me Want to Watch It?

No, but I’d be into a Scurvy show.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Apparently, every episode had a scene where some grasshoppers would use Dolittle's medicine chest as a stage and play a pop song, presumably in order to pad the show.
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  #165  
Old 07-17-2016, 08:25 PM
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He’s willing to put in the time and the effort while most gangsters would say “Nyah, see! You’re gonna talk, see! Nyah! Stop looking at my floozy gal with the big pink boa, see! Arrh!”
Do you mean the type of snake or the fashion accessory?
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  #166  
Old 07-18-2016, 08:12 AM
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OK, first of all, dinky feels like a bad description and name for a small, cute dog. Dinky always seemed like a negative adjective to me, used to descript disappointing penises and cheap toy cars.
I agree, but it's possible that that connotation wasn't there in the 70s.
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  #167  
Old 07-20-2016, 09:42 AM
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Dynomutt, Dog Wonder

It’s been a while since we did a really iconic one of these (I guess Challenge of the Super Friends counts but still…) and we have a great one today. It’s not one of THE great cartoon openings. Not even one of the great ones of the 70’s. But it is surprisingly good: sets up the premise and mood with ease. It does have some problems: the theme is sort of spoken word so it isn’t really a sing-a-long kind of deal. But all the same, there’s a lot to like here.



First we start with some class with a classic fanfare while “Hanna=Barbera Presents” is seen with the Blue Falcon symbol is in the background. As far as superheroes symbols go, its pretty good. It’s a little bit busy with the legs, though. A good superhero symbol is one you can draw from memory, so the detailed feet is slight too much in my opinion. The fanfare continues with Dynomutt’s name splashed across the screen. It pans back and adds “Dog Wonder” in a way that looks like it was edited in after the fact. I mean, it was because that’s how TV works, but I mean it looks like was edited in 5 years after the original editing process.

Anyway, we see Dyno in a dynamic pose and then as the titles fade, he skedaddles away with the appropriate skedaddling sound effect that I love the sound of but sounds like nothing that exists in the world of flesh. We then see him spring into and out of a night scene with springy legs. Then we see Blue Falcon, staring dramatically like he belongs in a more traditional superhero cartoon. So really, this is about a straight-laced traditional superhero with a wacky animal sidekick. This is actually kind of a neat aspect that really isn’t truly mined for comedy gold until Mystery Inc.



The problem with the show as it actually was (and keep in mind, I never saw the original show and am basing this as members of the Scooby Doobies on the Laff-a-Lympics) but it was mostly Dynomutt screwing up and Blue Falcon calling him “dog blunder”, which isn’t terribly funny.

“Flashing through the sky,
He’s a go-go guy.”

Dyno lands from his springing through a secret door on the roof of a building as it is opening. Turns out he’s landed on a rocket piloted by Blue Falcon that streaks across the sky. Then we see Dyno holding back a slowly approaching train. The weather and/or ground appears to be unnaturally pink but that’s probably because that’s how HB rolled back then. I’m starting to suspect that the cheapness of the company has them resorting to using tainted cells that where discoloured and decided to use them anyway. Anyway, Dyno then using his finger (and an extendo-arm) alone pushes the train away.

“Stronger than a train,
With a so-so brain.”

An insult, sure, but so-so is better than bad. It’s the same rating I give Monster Squad and that’s not bad company. Dyno responds while a glory aura fills the background.

“Are you talkin’ about me, Blue Falcon? Gosh.”

He then flies at the screen D first. We then see him open up that D (that’s a fun euphemism) and press a button and his whole body goes nuts with extendo-limbs. He collapses to the ground, which was lower then… uh, Dyno lead us to believe since he was just standing on a vague, green background. He then looks all broke and picks himself up.

“He’s fearless!
Scareless!
A little too careless!
Dynomutt!

He’s a go-go dog person.”

I swear to God, I did not just make that last thing up. That’s such an odd line for a cartoon from the 70’s. I would expected it from the 90’s at soonest. In a 90’s or beyond scenario, it would be a character trying with difficulty to describe something they are struggling to understand. I can’t imagine that is what is happening here (especially since Blue Falcon is saying it with such confidence). Also, he’s not really a “dog person”. He’s a dog. Just a dog.

Anyway, Dyno responds

“That’s me, dawg!”

Wow, this does skew modern in a way, I didn’t expe—

Oh, what he’s saying more things.

“Wonder!”

Oh, he’s was saying “Dog Wonder”. That… that space between dog and wonder threw me and disappointed me.

We then see a couple villains: a Mr. Hyde-type dude and a guy who looks kind of like they put Syndrome’s hair on Sabretooth and gave him a generic bad guy costume. Blue Falcon is then shown running, leaping up and swinging from a rope. Meanwhile, Dynomutt with 2 propellers coming out of his butt and his arm transformed into a giant vacuum hose. The vacuum chases the villains and sucks something out, but when he check his hall he sees it’s Blue Falcon. Dyno’s eyes pops out of springs! Oops! I guess that he’s lucky to have checked that and find his mistakes but if he really thought he had those guys, releasing them right there probably would have been a mistake. I mean, even if he could take them, they could have escaped. But it has been established that Dyno is very careless so we really shouldn’t be surprised that he done fucked up.

Also, spring loaded eyes seem like a design flaw. The butt propellers seem to work fine, though.

“He’s fearless!
Scareless!
A little too careless!
Dynomutt!

He’s a go-go dog person.”

We see Dynomutt using his extending body to scare off a giant villain, only to accidentally sit on a plunger (explosive kind, not toilet kind) and blowing himself sky high. As he falls he presses a button and makes a parachute happen, showing us a broken dog can be right twice a day. He then flies up (without propellers, so I guess those aren’t necessary?) and flies at the audience. We then see a still shot of him flying with the titles in the fore and a star in the back (I love a star! And it’s a Steven Universe yellow on red background star, which is great). I like that they gave us this shot of Dynomutt, as I like his unique flying pose and he get to see that when using them as feet, this dogs got two pairs of shoes.

Decent opening, all around.

Did It Make Me Want to Watch It?
A little. That says a lot for one of these.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Hey, I was right, the villain was Mr. Hyde. Oh, and the show had the first African-American public official on a Saturday morning cartoon. On the down side, it also had a laugh track. Ugh.
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  #168  
Old 07-20-2016, 09:49 AM
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Interestingly enough, despite what the Top Fifty threads may indicate, I've never once watched an episode of Dynomutt.

Just that one episode of Mystery Inc and the two-parter of Harvey Birdman about his murder-trial.
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  #169  
Old 07-20-2016, 10:02 AM
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I've never once watched an episode of Dynomutt.
I have lost all faith in humanity. I believed in you.

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  #170  
Old 07-20-2016, 10:44 AM
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All the God-Awful cartoons on Teletoons Retro and they can't even carry the one that wouldn't have made me a charlatan.
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  #171  
Old 07-20-2016, 05:38 PM
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All the God-Awful cartoons on Teletoons Retro and they can't even carry the one that wouldn't have made me a charlatan.
It wasn't Canadian and only 8 episodes enough.
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  #172  
Old 07-20-2016, 05:40 PM
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Everything about that channel is a load of horse apples
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  #173  
Old 07-20-2016, 05:48 PM
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Interestingly enough, despite what the Top Fifty threads may indicate, I've never once watched an episode of Dynomutt.

Just that one episode of Mystery Inc and the two-parter of Harvey Birdman about his murder-trial.
He was also in an episode of Dexter's Lab that parodied the edgelord shit going on in comic books at the time.

It's fuckin' great.
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  #174  
Old 09-06-2016, 10:49 PM
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Emergency +4

Emergency is a show I'm aware of in only the vaguest sense. I only knew this was an animated version of that based on one of my patented pop culture hunches. I looked it up and yep, it's an adaptation of a show that, like, 5 people remember. I only know of it, like most things, through MST3k references (that and the Simpsons really filled out my pop culture knowledge). Having never seen the show, I think it is easy to guess that an episode is like this: an emergency happens. people solve the emergency and it's probably quite dull because it's TV from the 70's. I mean, there always has been a fascination for me for that decade of TV, but to actually sit down and watch a full episode of a 70's TV drama sounds like a tremendous chore.
Also, since I assume there was an adventure aspect to Emergency, was there a demand for Emergency action figures and lunch boxes? It seems boring enough to say no, but remember, there were action figures for the Waltons, a heartwarming drama about a large (in number, not weight, though there combined weight is probably quite considerable) family living through the great depression.



Man, based on the sound of that commercial, I think this is one of the first talkies.
Well, there was enough demand (or an assumption of such) for a cartoon version for children who couldn't get enough of the adventures of Captain Emergency and his assorted friends.
OK, so let's get to it.



So we here the intro to the theme which is... clever is stretching it, but not a bad idea. And presumably cribbed from the original. The theme music, though not an actual alarm has an alarm like sound and we are given a close up of where the actual alarm might come out. Then we see some fireman putting on their stuff in a staccato non-animated montage. Again, this is probably from the original series but in animation it looks like they are being extra cheap.

However, then we get fully animated scenes of them sliding down poles and a guy closing a door, which looks about as good as the aforementioned series of still images. Then the firetruck drives away and I think they are going for the still image thing again, but I can't quite tell because they are either happening more rapidly or they have reached that Sorites Paradox for animation: how quickly and sequentially do the series of stills have to move before it becomes just... really bad animation?

Anyway, we then get the fire truck headed towards us and its flashing light turns into the title "Emergency". So far so good. Then a fireman awkwardly spazz runs through the G in the title and before he can reach us or not have his body obscured by the letter, two firemen (one of who may not be the guy who embarrassed himself with really awkward looking running) obscure him completely.



It's a shame, because JUST as he's reaching his stride and has a less embarrassing run, he's interrupted by maybe himself. The two fire guys soon become trapped in a little box that is shunted off to the corner of the screen while the rest of the screen is taken up by an enormous fire, either symbolizing the enormity of their task or because fire is more interesting and more deserving of screen time than these characters.

Suddenly, through the fire comes an explosion and some seemingly random shapes that come together to form a +4 logo. The logo is on some kind of... ambulance fire truck minivan driven by some young people types. Soon, they are driving through a nightmare-scape mosiac of traffic signs and things, making it look like THEY are the real danger. Trapped in a dimension of rules without purpose, they drive forever. It is no longer an emergency. It is an eternity. EXCEPT NO, they drive uphill, presumably the hill that leads to and from TRAFFIC PERDITION!

Then they are put in a box, 'cause this show likes putting things in boxes. More boxes appear in a blood-red background, with a fireman descending a ladder with a baby while lighting strikes outside of the box, somewhere in the sanguine-verse. A guy spends about half a second on a walkie talkie and then points up as rocks fall beside him, making me think that rather than pointing, he should just be running.

He (or someone dressed like him) is escaping the avalanche by repelling down a mountain and jumping in the most embarassing way possible. Look, I know we can't always look our coolest in emergency situations, but this is a cartoon. Can't we leave these anonymous fire fighters with a modicum of dignity?

We also see a bunch of kids like a tree. I imagine it is a battering ram they will use to attack the firehouse and then conquer it, to become the new firefighting force. Or maybe a tree fell on another kid's leg out something, I dunno.

Then we see some raging water washing away a branch (DEAR GOD, WHO WILL SAVE THAT BRANCH?!?) while a little boy runs. I guess this running is pretty good, all things considered. So if you watching this show, you can know the animators didn't completely fuck up ambulation.

In the dimension of blood, a tree falls. Meanwhile, a fireman scoops up one shovel full of dirt and runs away. I was confused at first but it soon becomes apparent why:



Yep, one scoop in and the guy strikes hurricane. He's lucky, most times you have to break through a few more stratas of Earth before hitting major wind conditions. He was lucky to hit such a rich weather vein.

Anyway, as the hurricane that guy dug up ravages the country side, some kids get a cat out of a tree, which kind of seems like an odd note to end on after giving us fires, floods and hurricanes. That's what you build from, not to. I guess you could do it in a fashion that makes it feel like a light-hearted relief from the Roland/Emmerich-style disasterfest but it's played with all the same amount of bombast.

Anyhoo, we then get to the fire truck, the Junior Woodchuck's firetruck and the title: EMERGENCY + 4! Which isn't the worst title, but it does seem a bit odd. Do people call emergency services simply "emergency" (this seems like it could be a UK/Austalia thing) because it seems to be implying that Emergency is the team name of our heroes and then there are also four more heroes. Or do emergencies happen and there are also four people? It's not the worst title, but it's not very great.

Did It Make Me Want To Watch It?

Nope. For all the action the title is trying to present, this feels... really dull. I will give it points for not relying on an animal sidekick. I mean, if there is one, they sure as Hell didn't use him in the opening, where that shit matters the most.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Not a lot here. One of the voice actors, who was from the original show, is Randolph Mantooth. That's a great name. Oh, and there's a two part episode. That's probably where they rescue the cat from he tree.

EDIT: I just noticed it's supposed to be about "Paramedic Rescue Services". Considering these guys REALLY look like fire fighters, I'm beginning to think that Paramedic Rescue Services doesn't mean what I think it does.
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  #175  
Old 09-07-2016, 12:29 PM
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ArugulaZ ArugulaZ is offline
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I used to watch the original live action version of Emergency on Me-TV, actually! It wasn't bad. I think it's probably safe to assume that it was a lot better than this.

The "clash" animation from the Superfriends was so popular that it's a play mechanic in the Injustice video game. Still looks as cool as ever, too!
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  #176  
Old 09-07-2016, 08:32 PM
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Daikaiju Daikaiju is offline
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So basically they took an existing show and added four kids in their own fancier vehicle.
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  #177  
Old 09-08-2016, 07:27 AM
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Fabulous Funnies

Remember Archie's TV Funnies. This is basically the same thing without Archie and some of the cartoons are different.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3uqe94

First, we start with a thin caveman, who I think is from Alley Oop, the caveman comic that nobody reads, likes or knows what it is about except that there's a caveman and some dinosaurs. And if we are going to be introduced to the delightful world of the comic strip page, who better than a generic tertiary character from a comic book where half the characters look the same. WHIMSY! Standing behind an abstract colour collage, the caveman says "Hold on to your seat kids, here we go!"

We then get the most 70's titles ever for the Fabulous Funnies, in bright flashing lights that make me think we are going to Vegas to see the best clean entertainment $14 tickets can provide. We then fade to some kind of spinning... divining board, I think? It's here to tell us our future but for our futures to be told, we need some form of symbols like the tarot or chicken bones. This leans closer to the tarot images, one these are different archetypes who pop up on the screen.

- The Bearded Man with a Yellow Hat: The Symbol of Wealth

- The Woman With a Bun in her Hair: The Symbol of Motherhood

- The Big Faced Guy With a Crown: The Symbol of Leadership/Big Facedness

- The Small Child: The Symbol of Youth

- Blue Furry Guy: The Symbol of That One Blue Muppet Monster. Not, not Grover or Cookie. It's the other one. You know. I want to call him Harry? Is it Harry? I feel like I'm close on this.

- The Woman With Bad Hair: The Symbol of Not Owning a Comb

- The Buzzard With Glasses: The Symbol of Death and Wisdom.

- The Cowboy: YEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAW!

- The Witch: The Symbol of Magic

- The Other Small Child: The Friend of the Symbol of Youth. Everyone needs a friend.

- A Small Child with a Hat: The Symbol of Hats

- Nancy: OK, I actually know this character.

- The Beautiful Woman: The Symbol of Beauty. Also, how come all comics have one super pretty lady in a world of weird-lookin' uggos.

- The Caveman Announcer Guy: The Symbol of Wisdom. Wait, did I do that already? Let's just list him as "other".

- Little Blonde Girl With Glasses: The Symbol of Actually Having an Interesting Character Design.

- Guy With a Beard and a Blue Hat: The Symbol of Hipsters.

- Some Guy With a Red Collar: Nice Collar!

- Alley Oop: Wait, the other guy wasn't just Alley Oop with a crown. I just thought he was a king sometimes.

"We rounded up all our friends for you." says the caveman. But much like a rich, influential dad in a movie who is just using his child's birthday to network with other rich, influential parents, I can safely say these aren't my friends.

We then see Alley Oop, King Alley Oop and an Old Caveman with a Baby Pteradon on his head. "I'm Alley Oop with a joke or two." King Alley Oop and Old Caveman both turn to Alley Oop with the exact correct amount of incredulity at this statement. In the rare occasions that my eyes had the misfortune of scanning an Alley Oop strip, it is decidedly not comedic. I think in theory, it is supposed to be an adventure series, except it lacks anything resembling... adventure. People have concerned looks on their faces, implying there is something we should be intrigued by, but I have yet to see the evidence. But I can tell you, I have never seen any jokes in this strip. Of course, he says he has a "joke or two", so that could be how many the strip has made over the course of it's 50 year (just a estimate) run.
We get the Fabulous Funnies logo and jingle (which makes me think that Fabulous Funnies may actually be a supermarket chain). Then we see Broom-Hilda spin her eyes around like the creepy dad from Uzumaki and summon her friends with magic. But her friends heads are on the wrong bodies, until she fixes them with magic.

"Abracadra! Alakazaam! Broom-Hilda can make you smile!" says the caveman guy.

"I know I can!" Says Broom-Hilda. I would doubt her, but the fact that she's voiced by June "every old lady from the dawn of animation" Foray makes me think it just may be possible. I love June.

Suddenly, we see Nancy and Sluggo fly up and fall down.

Nancy: "Hi, I'm Nancy."
Sluggo: "And hi, I'm Sluggo."
Both: "And we have lots of fun wherever we go!"

We see they are actually bouncing on a giant drum. And if wherever they go has that giant bounce drum, then I am in total agreement. That looks great. Is that canon for Nancy and Sluggo? Or are they just bouncing on a big drum for the intro. I really have no idea what the deal with Nancy and Sluggo is.

We then get the Fabulous Funnies car rental logo and jingle again.

We then see a guy in a beard, a big blue coat and a hat fishing on a little boat.

"I'm the Captain" the man says with what I think is supposed to be a German accent "and funny adventures are on their way."

Suddenly, he catches a bit ole fish. Then the two Katzenjammer kids pop out of it's mouth, which raises a lot of questions. Were the kids actually just in a fish costume? Where the kids eaten and are now completely unfazed by their near death experience? Then it gets more confusing as the surprised captain falls out of his boat. In response, the kids either get back into their fish costume or they are once more swallowed by the fish. Either way, the fish then proceeds to save the Captain, meaning that either the kids are using their fish costume to save him or the fish wants to save the Captain and eat the kids.

During this, one of the kids starts talking. What little I know about the Katzenjammer Kids tells me their accents aren't NEARLY thick and outrageous enough. It seems to me the whole premise is they talk funny. Do you remember that scene in Casablanca when two hopeful immigrants are showing off their new English?



Basically, that's what the Katzenjammer Kids was. Accents where like the funniest thing in the early 1900's. But nope, they just went and blanded it up. The kids do sound like June Foray, though, so that's a plus.

Anyway Hans (or Fritz) says
"We're Hans and Fritz
And we're here to say
That we're all going to learn a lot of lessons today
On how to work and how to play."

Despite being here to say, the boy does not rap. This is good. Not so good is learning how to work and how to play. That's probably something I don't want from Fabulous Funnies. You just ruined comic strips, TV!

Oh and during the how to work and how to play part, we see Alley Oop (this show is REALLY banking on his popularity) working on a wheel and a brontosaurus playing with a big yo-yo. Point well illustrated.

"The Fabulous Funnies!" Exclaims the $100,000 jackpot jingle.

We then see things happening, like Broom-Hilda and friends watching TV and Alley Oop et all riding a dinosaur, all obscured by the classic Lou Schiemer producer logo that tells you "oh, no, this is Filmation, isn't it?"

"So sit right back and put on your smiles,
It's a beautiful day, c'mon stay a while."

Says the caveman announcer, forgetting that reminding the kids of a beautiful day means that they can turn off the TV and go outside. I mean, it would never happen, but it is unwise to tempt the fates, caveman.
"The Fabulous Funnies!" Exclaims the furniture store jingle.

Back to the caveman: "Let's have a good time, what do you say?"

"The Fab-u-lous Funnies!" Exclaims the jingle with fireworks! Man, I can't wait for that car dealership sale!

Did It Make Me Want To Watch It?

It made me want to watch it less than the one with Archie.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Quote:
Like the earlier series Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, this series placed more emphasis on teaching the audience moral lessons than on entertaining them. Each half-hour episode consisted of animated versions of newspaper comic strips, including Alley Oop, Nancy, Broom-Hilda, Emmy Lou, The Captain and the Kids, and for a while, Tumbleweeds; acting as a "master of ceremonies" for this show was Foozy, a character from Alley Oop who always spoke in rhyming verse. Topics covered in this series included honesty, alcoholism, prejudice, and safety, among others.
Boy, this sounds like the least entertaining thing. Comic strips are already on that line that seperates "kids can tolerate this" and "NOPE!" and now you just pushed them over it. But I am curious: who had the problem with alcoholism? My money is on Sluggo.
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  #178  
Old 09-16-2016, 12:59 AM
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Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
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Fangface

We start with the moon and a strange silhouette howling over it. The lights come on to reveal a mascot for a breakfast cereal from the 90's no one remembers. We then see lightning strike to reveal our title: "FANGFACE" in what appear to be oozing letters. Are werewolves known for oozing?
Shouldn't it be a furry or toothy typeface.

Anyway, we have an establishing shot of a suburban home at night, in the light of a full moon. Our announcer introduces us to the premise:
"Every 400 years, a werewolf is born into the Fangsworth family. And so when the moon shined on little Sherman Fangsworth he changed into Fangface!"

And basically we see just that. A baby looks up at the full moon and becomes a wacky baby werewolf (also, his tail is sticking through his diaper, so I don't know if his parents were prepared for that or if they need better diapers). And I got to say, a cartoon about a baby werewolf causing trouble does certainly have some comedic potential. Also, he spins and grunts making me think that someone wanted to do a baby Taz cartoon without having to worry about the right. He ends up being turned back into a human baby after seeing a picture of the sun on a box of laundry.

The box says "Sunshine Laundry". Now there's probably a simple explanation for this I'm unaware of because of cultural changes over time and cultural ignorance, but what is a box of laundry. Is laundry another word for diapers? Or was there a time where laundry companies would give you back your stuff in boxes? I guess I'm just curious why a laundry company has a box with their name on it. Can anyone clear this up?
"And so little fangs grew up and teamed up with three daring teenagers."
It's at this point we realize, "oh, this is in the Scooby Doo genre". And it is. But with an actual monster on the side of angels, which isn't the worst idea, I guess.

Anyway, we first see whatever their equivolent of the Mystery Machine speed down a desert road and are then shown the faces of Sherman's new friends.

"Kim, Biff and Puggsy!"

Kim: a girl with a bob.

Biff: A handsome guy who is either in a white turtleneck or a doctor's white coat. From the shoulders up, it could be anyone.

Puggsy: Has a rumpled hat (I'm not sure what kind), a shirt with a HUGE collar and a big 'ole face. He is probably the dumb one or the harried one, meaning he has an actual personality, likely giving him an advantage over Kim and Biff. Yeah, we all know how these Hanna Barbera cartoons work.

"And together they find danger, excitement and adventure!"

We see then walking up a long flight of stairs in a building covered in spider webs. They look up and at the top of the stairs is a mummy looming down on them. We then see them running down the hall way in classic Hanna Barbera fashion: after the second step, there's no new animation in their stride.

One of the kids holds a picture of a moon in front of Sherman. What happens next is Hanna Barbera actually doing some animation.



He turns into Fangface and in classic cartoon fashion, he grabs a mummy's wrapping and unravels him. We then see Kim reading a book. I don't know if this is supposed to be a different scene or if she has attention deficit disorder and totally forgot she was in the middle of a chase. A wall opens up behind her and a hand grabs her, muffling her mouth so she can't scream. She was never seen again.

We then see Fangface grunting in front of a green screen. Because this is Hanna Barbera, this is probably just a familiar grunt from a 1930's comedy star that I don't care about. We then see a barrage of images of the monsters Fangface will face.



Blue, long haired caveman! Obese vampire with neanderthal brow! Zzzax! Offbrand Wonder Woman who looks really disappointed in you! Gorilla in a singlet and viking helmet! Based on the mummy thing, these probably aren't guys in costumes, so I got to say, Fangface has a disappointing rogue's gallery, except for the last two. Gorilla in a singlet or a viking helmet would bore me, but the combo makes me more interested. Plus, I would never want to disappoint Wonder Woman, so she already has the advantage.

"Who can save the day? Who can wrong the rights-- er, right the wrongs! None other than FANGFACE!"

We then see Puggsy jump into a teeny garbage can. Fangface then ejects him to a level I think most kitchen garbage cans can't do. He then catches him between two slices of bread. But instead of eating him, he gives him a kiss. Then we get the title.

Now this cartoon seems to be in that zone between Scooby Doo and Warner Bros reality so maybe I shouldn't ask this (like I shouldn't ask where bugs bunny gets all those costumes) but where DID Fangface get those bread slices. Was Sherman carrying two regular bread slices and when he became Fangface, the bread transformed two? Or was this a clip from the episode where they visit a giant bakery?

Whatevs. I will say that I mostly liked the opening. It had a lot of energy that a lot of the other intros of the era lack and the animation seemed slightly (just slightly) better than a lot of the Hanna Barbera output. I will say the design of Fangface isn't too bad, but as mentioned, he really looks like the lost mascot for Gogurts or Lunchables.

The other problem is the music. I'm used to a lot of these themes not being conducive to humming but this one seems to be reminding you at ever moment that "THIS IS WACKY! DON'T YOU NOTICE HOW WACKY THIS IS!? HE'S A MYSTERY SOLVING WEREWOLF! IT'S WACKY!" Wacky, I guess is my point.

Did It Make Me Want to Watch It?

It actually kind of did. I mean, it doesn't look great, but it looks a lot more interesting than a lot of the stuff I see here. The one impediment is I'm really bothered by Fangface's grunting "OO! OO!" catchphrase. Putting aside that I don't care for the thieving ways of cartoonists (unless the stealing is as good as Foghorn Leghorn), it's... just kind of annoying. I would have put it aside but the fact that he says it again at the end lets you know "Oh, he's going to say this a lot, isn't he?"

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Fangface isn't actually Hanna Barbera. It's actually from Ruby-Spears, who had collaborated with Hanna Barbera often before doing their own thing. Most of their stuff is garbage. Probably this too. But the opening is better than I would have expected from them.

Also, I guess Puggsy and "Fangs" (what Sherman is called on the show) are supposed to be based on two of the Bowery Boys, which means nothing to me. They are basically just the Dead End Kids, but not, right? Also, "Fangs" is unaware that he's Fangface, making Fangs friends REALLY shitty.
The "Oo! Oo!" thing is ripped off from Joe E. Ross. Don't know who it is, and neither did the audience, I imagine.

Oh, and the second season introduced a baby werewolf named Fangpuss, DIRECTLY CONTRADICTING the part where we learn that Fangs was the only werewolf of his generation. They just betrayed their premise. All the hours put into not having heard of this show until a few hours ago. FUUUUUCK! THIIIIIIS! SHIIIIIT!
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  #179  
Old 09-19-2016, 03:18 AM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
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Huh, I always thought that Fangface was a cereal.

Maybe I was thinking of Fruit-Brute
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  #180  
Old 09-19-2016, 05:00 AM
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Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
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Fangface is what Fruit Brute would have become if he lasted a few decades. He looks like he's ready to join the Burger King Kids' Club
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