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  #1  
Old 02-05-2011, 12:27 PM
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Default Tights and Taunts: The Wrestling Thread

Hell, if it's only a place for Joe and I to talk about wrestling without bothering anyone, this thread will be worth it, but I think there may be a few more interested parties.

I used to follow Wrestling pretty religiously in my high school days, and while I never lost my appreciation for it, the cheesy and absurdly raunchy (in a very Rated M kind of "mature" way) soap opera qualities coupled with a focus on bad acting over actual wrestling made me start losing interest sometime in the early 2000's. Also, turning the Undertaker in to a biker hick.

I would check in from time to time, but have watched very little over the past decade.

Then, the other day, I had a very brief conversation with Joe, and it made me suddenly want to take a look at what's going on. I decided to check out last week's smackdown on Hulu, and since that was immediately followed by the Royal rumble -- always a favorite PPV of mine -- I downloaded that as well.

My immediate thoughts: Jesus christ -- I leave for one measly decade and they have Jerry Lawler as a straight man and MICHAEL FUCKING COLE doing color commentary? What is the world coming to?

I was actually pretty impressed by the Rumble though. 40 guys this year as opposed to the usual 30, which was interesting. I thought it was a pretty cool idea to slow things down in the middle of the event and have the Nexus own the ring for a good 10 minutes or so. Would have totally screwed up the flow had they not added in the extra 10 guys, but as it stands, I thought it made for a pretty entertaining intermission of sorts.

Also, Hornswaggle was fucking hilarious. Pint sized wrestlers and joke entrants to the rumble are par for the course, but that little dude made me laugh harder than he had any right to.

Kevin Nash's appearence, and the fan reaction to it (jesus, they were booing Rey fucking Mysterio) was pretty cool too. Nice dye job, guy.

All in all, if the episode of Smackdown I watched was any indication, the WWE seems to be moving back to a more wrestling focused format, which is more than welcome. While I still think they're still too focused on the impact of "finishing moves", making for less interesting matches overall (especially among luchadores), the quality of the matches was actually a lot better than I'd come to expect in my later days of fandom. I may just check it out for a bit and see if it grabs me. I'll have to find a reliable way to watch Raw though, since I don't have cable and it's not on hulu.

Also, that dude from the Real World may be the best heel I've seen since Kurt Angle. I was pretty impressed.
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Old 02-05-2011, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by widdershins View Post
Hell, if it's only a place for Joe and I to talk about wrestling without bothering anyone, this thread will be worth it, but I think there may be a few more interested parties.
Hey now. I'm more than happy to talk about wrestling. I reject your stereotype that Joe is the only person who would talk about it. Uh....there's Sven! And...uh...

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My immediate thoughts: Jesus christ -- I leave for one measly decade and they have Jerry Lawler as a straight man and MICHAEL FUCKING COLE doing color commentary? What is the world coming to?
Auughh. Yeah. He's effective in that he can get massive heat, but he's also just insufferable even if you're aware of kayfabe. I can't wait until they drop this persona if only for my own sanity.

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Also, Hornswaggle was fucking hilarious. Pint sized wrestlers and joke entrants to the rumble are par for the course, but that little dude made me laugh harder than he had any right to.
I'm kind of surprised how long they've kept him around ever since they dropped the "Hornswaggle is Vince McMahon's illegitimate son" angle.

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Kevin Nash's appearence, and the fan reaction to it (jesus, they were booing Rey fucking Mysterio) was pretty cool too. Nice dye job, guy.
In theory, I'm not a Nash fan, but in practice, the idea of having a new old wrestler in the roster would make me mark out. Too bad this probably isn't the case here.

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All in all, if the episode of Smackdown I watched was any indication, the WWE seems to be moving back to a more wrestling focused format, which is more than welcome. While I still think they're still too focused on the impact of "finishing moves", making for less interesting matches overall (especially among luchadores), the quality of the matches was actually a lot better than I'd come to expect in my later days of fandom. I may just check it out for a bit and see if it grabs me. I'll have to find a reliable way to watch Raw though, since I don't have cable and it's not on hulu.
It's because they've moved back to TV-PG standards as a survival mechanism. That way, they can get all demographics and not have to worry about pissing people off. Of course, they still could bring a bit more hate even without the blood...

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Also, that dude from the Real World may be the best heel I've seen since Kurt Angle. I was pretty impressed.
The company seems really high on him right now, and while I'm glad they're giving him a chance, I hope they don't go too wild with him to the point of oversaturation. They also have this fixation with putting him in feuds with Lawler, which I'm not so sure about...
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:18 PM
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It's because they've moved back to TV-PG standards as a survival mechanism. That way, they can get all demographics and not have to worry about pissing people off. Of course, they still could bring a bit more hate even without the blood...
Well, I think it works in their favor overall from what little I've seen so far. They never really handled "mature" content particularly gracefully, and bloody matches really only serve to show you how tough a guy is -- the vast majority of them really ended up being extremely boring. While I enjoyed watching the likes of Stone Cold and The Rock wrestle, they had some of the most unwatchable matches (Wrestlemania 15 comes to mind) where they just dick around on the ramp and backstage. I always have to ask myself who liked watching that crap.

There will always be standouts like the infamous Foley/Taker hell in a cell, but they're never going to top the likes of Japan's deathmatch tournaments, and attempts to recapture the magic (via things like cell tops that are designed to be broken) always fell flat. If you don't have people like Mick Foley, Hardcore Holly, or Terry Funk, who understand how to have an interesting "hardcore" match, it's best to just let it go.

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The company seems really high on him right now, and while I'm glad they're giving him a chance, I hope they don't go too wild with him to the point of oversaturation. They also have this fixation with putting him in feuds with Lawler, which I'm not so sure about...
Yeah, I read a bit about that, and it seems really weird to me. If you put the two of them in a match, you either get Lawler being handily beaten, and making for an uninteresting event, or you have Miz getting beaten, which might undermine the push they seem to be giving him. I'm really scratching my head over that bit.
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:21 PM
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There are only two periods when wrestling meant much to me. The first was the WWF in the 1980s (especially that sweet spot between 1984 and 1988). The second was when the WCW turned into the WWF from the 1980s (around 1996 to 1999). Beyond that, professional wrestling feels trite and desperate, with very little actual wrestling and a whole lot of hammy acting and dumb storylines. I hate pretty much everything the newly christened WWE stands for, from the "dark and edgy" storylines that border on the surreal (didn't an 80 year old woman give birth to someone's hand in one of the story arcs?) to Vince McMahon's suspicious fascination with extremely muscular fighters. You want to see the technical Japanese wrestlers and the acrobatic luchadors in action? Nope, sorry, you're stuck with the stiff beefcakes that Vince will be ogling while his desk stands on three legs. Add to that the fact that anything resembling wrestling is locked behind a pay wall and you've got a recipe for total disinterest.
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:28 PM
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Yeah, that's pretty much the way I've felt, which is why I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the couple of things I just watched. Interesting technical or high flying wrestlers are still undermined by the video gamey nature of the way WWE matches go, but beyond that, I found a lot of wrestling and not a huge amount of bullshit.

...though the fact that Smackdown now has an acting GM who's gimmick is shouting "excuse me" in a shrill voice is beyond annoying.

Dolf Ziggler, though? What a fucking handle! I'm expecting Marky Mark to say "I must break you" followed by him whipping out his dick. This is not a pretty mental image.
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:50 PM
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Dolf Ziggler, though? What a fucking handle! I'm expecting Marky Mark to say "I must break you" followed by him whipping out his dick. This is not a pretty mental image.
Hey, it's a step up from when he was Nicky from the Spirit Squad, the male cheerleader stable!
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Old 02-05-2011, 02:13 PM
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Hey, it's a step up from when he was Nicky from the Spirit Squad, the male cheerleader stable!
Male cheerleader squad? Another one of Vince's ideas, I suspect.
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:21 PM
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I hate pretty much everything the newly christened WWE stands for, from the "dark and edgy" storylines that border on the surreal (didn't an 80 year old woman give birth to someone's hand in one of the story arcs?) to Vince McMahon's suspicious fascination with extremely muscular fighters.
This is clearly spoken by someone who hasn't watched the product since the Benoit incident. The show being PG has taken away all the dumb storylines of Mae Young birthing hands and Val Venis having to deal with threats of "choppy choppy your pee-pee." As for the monster 'roid guys, well, there will always be some, but guys like CM Punk and Bryan Danielson are getting pushes now, and no one mistakes them for being 'roided up.

Sometimes the stories still don't make sense from a pure storytelling perspective (Vicki Guererro bans the spear, but why? Edge hasn't hurt anyone with it, it just doesn't make sense. As acting GM of Smackdown, she must answer to the Board of Directors, therefore she should have to have a reason to ban the spear. Even if said reason was a heel besides her boyfriend faking like he'd been horribly injured by it, just to justify its banning), but they're not totally insane.

Honestly, what you describe sounds a lot more like TNA. No one should watch TNA.

Oh, and I can't pass up an opportunity to mention my own career, some highlights of which you can view here.
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Old 05-08-2012, 07:01 AM
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Old 05-08-2012, 04:22 PM
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That's just mean and rude...
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Old 05-08-2012, 04:28 PM
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That's just mean and rude...
I laughed.
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Old 05-08-2012, 05:17 PM
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I couldn't resist.
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Old 05-08-2012, 06:13 PM
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Unfortunately that's Scott Hall.

So I guess that makes it mean and bad?

Doesn't have the same ring to it.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:24 PM
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Default Re: Tights and Taunts: The Wrestling Thread

Yeah thats awesome
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Old 07-31-2013, 11:23 PM
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Huh, I thought for sure that this had been bumped on account of Randy Orton getting jumped by a fan in the ring in South Africa...
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:58 AM
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Makabe will not be denied

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Old 08-03-2013, 04:06 PM
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Default Tights and Taunts: The Wrestling Thread

People are fan subbing njpw promos now because this is the best of all possible worlds

Titoortizintna dot gif
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Old 08-10-2013, 09:04 PM
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I am at an Extreme Midget Wrestling event. It's awesome
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Old 08-11-2013, 02:03 PM
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Tanahashi-sama ;______;
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Old 08-18-2013, 03:03 PM
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i thinking im goona livetweet summerslam https://twitter.com/pudtaine if ya nasty
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  #21  
Old 09-15-2013, 12:26 PM
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so this is pretty cool, at some point earlier in the summer a dude posted a shit-ton of Zodiak interviews on the tubes.

what it is, back in the late '80s, when the Hart family's old Calgary Stampede promotion was very nearly dead, they were throwing whatever loopy shit Bruce Hart could think of at the wall and hoping something stuck. This included putting jobber Barry Orton under a hood and tall green dude Karl Moffat in a Jason hockey mask, creating Jason the Terrible and Zodiak. Zodiak cut cracked-out promos behind cheesy video effects while Jason waved around an ax handle and growled a lot.

Moffat probably would have gone on to the WWF and the big time except that Ross Hart couldn't drive for shit -- he plowed the Stampede crew's van into a head-on crash in 1989 and wrecked Moffat's leg. (Also put Davey Boy Smith through the windshield. See Bret Hart's book for more stories of Bret and Owen's siblings and their incredible track record of fucking up everything.)

Anyway, the first couple Zodiak interviews were pretty bland before he learned to really let it hang out. then we're off to the races. At his peak he was kind of like the missing link between Jim Jones and the Ultimate Warrior.

PRAISE LUKE! PRAISE LUKE!





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  #22  
Old 10-01-2013, 06:49 PM
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WWE is pretty great lately so it's a good thing ratings and buyrates are apparently terrible.
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  #23  
Old 10-09-2013, 08:45 PM
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Homeboy you got to come to terms w naito owning and tanahashi being p cool too

They can't all be Stan hansen
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  #24  
Old 10-09-2013, 09:33 PM
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Homeboy you got to come to terms w naito owning and tanahashi being p cool too

They can't all be Stan hansen
prowres offense is conceptual enough
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  #25  
Old 10-09-2013, 09:38 PM
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*follows spinning-around-in-the-air-for-no-reason neckbreaker with dragon suplex where opponent is gently laid down on his neck, finishes with stupid frogsplash as somewhere tears flow from gary albright's corpse*
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  #26  
Old 10-09-2013, 09:40 PM
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yeah i should prob just torrent the new midsouth doc. IM COWBOY BILL AND WHEN SOME MARK STEPS TO YOU IN THE BAR TAKE THE GUYS EYE OUT AND FUCK HIS GIRLFRIEND OR GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TERRITORY
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  #27  
Old 10-10-2013, 12:39 PM
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It's cool how NJPW is so much better than wwe that even their John cena manages to be Not Shitty
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Old 10-10-2013, 01:37 PM
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I have no idea to this day how Michael Cole has a job in WWE or any company.
Cole is okay if Vince isn't paying attention, and legitimately funny if Vince isn't around. There's a legendary version of the Shea Stadium show that aired on 24 / 7 with him and Foley on commentary that's apparently REALLY funny; sadly, I haven't found a copy of it online.

But on Raw, it's all about him telling Vince's stories Vince's way, so he resorts to his stock of 25 or so phrases, strung together in whatever order the match in front of him demands. If you listen to him from 2003 and then today he hardly sounds like the same guy, because back then Vince was more concerned with bossing around JR and generally left Cole alone.
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Old 10-10-2013, 04:50 PM
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BIG STACKS
KETCHUP
BIG MACS
EXTRA CHEESE
EXTRA SAUCE
GET IN LINE
CAUSE I'M A BOSS


yes
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  #30  
Old 10-12-2013, 09:20 AM
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speaking of cowboy bill watts

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