The Return of Talking Time

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  #1  
Old 05-12-2015, 08:38 AM
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Default BEAT'S dumb thread of stuff BEAT did.

While I wouldn't exactly consider myself a creative sort, I VERY OCCASIONALLY write or make things that I look back on an go "yeah that was pretty okay.

So this thread is just where I'm gonna dump em. A repository of stupid trash I was simply unwilling to keep to myself!

And I'm gonna set the tone by kicking it off with a Storify I made of a bunch of Short-form horror stories!*

So yeah read and enjoy, or don't, if you don't enjoy it. Whatever man.

*THAT ALL BY COMPLETE COINCIDENCE HAPPEN TO ALSO BE SCOOBY DOO FANFICTION.

ALSO HERE ARE ALL MY COMPLETED LET'S PLAYS.

Crypt Worlds - My shaky first steps! I really love this crazy artgame, but I think the LP itself is kinda terrible compared to my later work.
Bad Rats - The point where I started actually getting a feel for what I was doing.
Star Fox Command - My Magnum Fucking Opus. A Let's play with all the "game" cut out and the space filled with fake (But only kinda) critical literary analysis.
Goat Simulator - I am become PewdiePie.
Crystalis (GBC) - Fuck this game to death.
Paranormal - Accurate depiction of how I would actually act in a haunted house.
Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo - ARE
Freddi Fish and the Case of the Missing Kelp Seeds - YOU
Spy Fox in Dry Cereal - NOT
Pajama Sam No Need to Hide When it's Dark Outside - EDUTAINED
Sonic Classic Heroes - The actual, factual, unironic, no-foolin, totally honestly greatest ROMhack of all time.
Dinner Date - A "Dating Simulator" that can't wait to tell you how it doesn't own a TV it would rather read poetry because it's better than you. You philistine.
Sword of Asumi - Fukc yuo.
Love at First Sight - ♫They say this drinkin will kill me
Hotline Miami & Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number - LET ME BABBLE ABOUT FAKE SYMBOLISM FOR 300 MILLION PAGES.
Go! Go! Nippon: My First Trip to Japan - I consider this set of videos to be basically unwatchable. Please overlook them.
Sonic 3D Blast - The forgotten 16 Bit Sonic. Lost to the ravages of time.
Sakura Spirit/Clicker - I have Gazed into the abyss, and a bunch of shiny sexy animus gazed back.
Five Nights At Freddy's - This one's technically not "done" because I still need to sit down and power through night 5 but WHATEVER MAN.
Putt-Putt Goes to the Moon - The dark ages of DOS edutainment.
Sonic Dreams Collection - Artgame that's really a Fangame about Fan Art.
Sakura Santa - Merry TITSmas, and happy BOOB year!
UnderTale - Nonviolence? In MY Video games?
SC2VN: The eSports Visual Novel - StarCraft will ruin your life.
Bad Rats Show - It's like going back to the town you were born in and finding out that wow not a single fucking thing has changed.
Valdis Story Abyssal City - A joint project with Kalir where we shared duties equally! He did all the planning and writing and video editing. I played a video game.
Sonic 3 Complete - Man I love this game.

Last edited by BEAT; 07-10-2017 at 08:17 AM.
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  #2  
Old 05-12-2015, 08:46 AM
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You really shouldn't have gotten me an early birthday present, Twitter horror and Scooby Doo are two things I just adore.
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Old 05-12-2015, 12:23 PM
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Glad you enjoyed it!
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Old 05-13-2015, 12:38 PM
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So Queen possum liked my dumb stuff yesterday so much that she SET UP A BRAND NEW TWITTER FOR BOTH OF US TO POST TO.

Which ones are hers and which ones are mine? I'LL NEVER TELL!
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Old 07-01-2015, 02:04 PM
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Earlier this week I finally finished my Let's Play of the entire Hotline Miami Series.

I was all like, "haha, another Let's play in the can! Dang! How many of these have I done?

Turns out it's 16 19 21 24 full games since I started back in November of 2013.

So I figured I would list them here because I feel at least okay about at least half of them. And because maybe someone who doesn't normally read the LP forum would like em or something.

EDIT: MOVED EM TO THE FIRST POST.

Last edited by BEAT; 05-04-2016 at 03:11 PM.
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  #6  
Old 09-03-2015, 08:33 AM
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I updated the list in the last post.

That's all.

Man I really need to finish FNAF already.
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Old 10-26-2015, 01:44 PM
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For some reason I lost it and wrote a billion horror tweets about the magic school bus.
starting here.

EDIT: THEN I STORYFIED IT.

Last edited by BEAT; 10-26-2015 at 05:45 PM.
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  #8  
Old 10-26-2015, 09:37 PM
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do like
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Old 10-26-2015, 10:41 PM
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Im dying squirtle
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  #10  
Old 10-26-2015, 10:54 PM
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Those are pretty darn great.
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  #11  
Old 10-26-2015, 10:56 PM
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This is my favorite thing today.

Probably my favorite thing tomorrow too.
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  #12  
Old 10-27-2015, 04:57 AM
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Bless you for your heroism.
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  #13  
Old 10-27-2015, 06:51 AM
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Thanks guys! Glad you enjoyed it!

I enjoy writing. I wish I was better at doing more than 3 sentences at a time.
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Old 10-27-2015, 10:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
Thanks guys! Glad you enjoyed it!

I enjoy writing. I wish I was better at doing more than 3 sentences at a time.
And yet you're so good at crafting an atmosphere in just a few words!
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  #15  
Old 10-27-2015, 10:19 PM
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"Did I die in space, Janet?!"
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  #16  
Old 10-30-2015, 11:15 AM
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SOME STRANGE SPECTER WHISPERED INTO MY EAR "HEY WRITE LIKE A BILLION TWEETS ABOUT LOU PEARLMAN AND I WAS COMPELLED TO OBEY.
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  #17  
Old 12-15-2015, 08:32 AM
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A few days ago I grabbed one of those dumb "LIKE THIS TWEET AND I'LL WRITE A FACT/CONFESSION" things and tweeted it because lol.

Somehow that lead me to write a goddamn autobiography.

On one hand I kinda want to storyfy it, but on the other hand that would be a gigantic pain in the ass.
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  #18  
Old 12-15-2015, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
A few days ago I grabbed one of those dumb "LIKE THIS TWEET AND I'LL WRITE A FACT/CONFESSION" things and tweeted it because lol.

Somehow that lead me to write a goddamn autobiography.

On one hand I kinda want to storyfy it, but on the other hand that would be a gigantic pain in the ass.
Not necessarily? If it's under 200 tweets, and you weren't saying anything else in between (or not much), it's easy enough to just load more posts until they're all in the queue, add all, sort by oldest first, and tada. 5 minutes tops.
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Old 12-15-2015, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
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If it's under 200 tweets
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  #20  
Old 12-15-2015, 01:28 PM
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Yeah exactly.
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Old 12-15-2015, 06:22 PM
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I have had you on mute for days because of that thread. Is it safe to go back in the water?
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  #22  
Old 12-15-2015, 07:13 PM
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ONE MORE.
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  #23  
Old 12-15-2015, 09:28 PM
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Okay now i can once again have the privilege of having my tweets seen by ample vigour.
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:28 PM
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A hell of a tweet to end it on, too.
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Old 12-16-2015, 08:20 AM
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Quote:
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Okay now i can once again have the privilege of having my tweets seen by ample vigour.
I'm glad for both of us.
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  #26  
Old 12-16-2015, 08:21 AM
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Good stuff, BEAT, thanks.
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  #27  
Old 04-27-2016, 02:11 PM
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I just posted the last real update to Let's All Read SC2VN! Yeah I still have to do the video where we all hated on the extra content, and I still gotta force Caliscrub to write an epilogue, but for all intents and purposes it's DONE!

I'm pretty proud of the final product! (Except for maybe the first few videos, where the audio was pretty badly unbalanced and I hadn't yet thought to start editing out the bits where we're just waiting around for the stream lag to catch up.) I tried to treat each update as it's own creative writing project, where I treated the utterly mundane and terrible story it tells as though it's some epic, sweeping thing, well deserving of such an analytical breakdown. The goal was to make something people could enjoy reading even if they weren't the type to spend literal hours watching footage of a visual novel while SKYPE CREW alternated between amateur voice-acting and burning the game at the stake.

So yeah! It was a lot of work! I'm happy with it! Please read it and/or watch it! and tell me if you enjoyed it!

EDIT: AND THEN I POSTED THE BONUS VIDEO ON THE EXTRA CONTENT TODAY AS WELL BECAUSE FUCK DOING THAT TOMORROW.

Last edited by BEAT; 04-27-2016 at 04:35 PM.
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  #28  
Old 05-04-2016, 02:23 PM
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I wrote a little story about an overworked insurance agent explaining to an angry customer that his policy doesn't cover "Acts of Spider God" on twitter during lunch today. It was inspired by the quoted ActualPerson084 Tweet.

And now I'm linking to it here! Because even though it got basically zero RTs I really like how it turned out and I want people to see it!

SO YEAH THERE IT IS.
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  #29  
Old 12-07-2016, 08:07 AM
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Hey kids! It's time for WEIRD SHIT BEAT WROTE FOR REASONS HE DOES NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND!

April 20th, 2015 - Exit Through the Blood Sacrifice

Quote:
I AM AN OUTSIDE ARTIST NOW!
*BANKSY RUNS UP AND GIVES ME A HIGH-FIVE*
IT WAS A RUSE!
*BANKSY SCREAMS AS EVERYBODY SNAPS SELFIES WITH HIM*

*BANKSY SOBS IN THE FETAL POSITION AS THE BARRAGE OF SELFIES CONTINUES.*
*INSTAGRAM IS CRUSHED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THOUSANDS OF "BANKSIES"*

THE RITUAL IS COMPLETE
*BANKSY IS SLOWLY LOWERED INTO THE ACTIVE VOLCANO*
THE CROPS WILL BE BOUNTIFUL THIS YEAR! YOUR SACRIFICE ENSURES IT

THE CROPS GROW IN STRONG AND GOOD.
BUT WHAT'S THIS ON THE SIDE OF OUR TOWN HALL!?
AN ANGRY CORNCOB WITH A CCTV CAMERA AND A DOLLAR SIGN!

AND THEN, IN THE FIELDS, COMPLEX CROP CIRCLES.
ARIEL PHOTOGRAPHS SHOW THEY FORM A GAS MASKS WITH MICKEY MOUSE EARS.
BANKSY'S VENGEANCE.

THE FIRST CHILD BORN SINCE THE HARVEST, WHEN THIS CURSE FIRST BEGAN.
EVERY TIME WE TRY TO PHOTOGRAPH HIM, HE OBSCURES HIS FACE.
IT CAN'T BE.

WHISPERS OF THE TOWNFOLK.
IF HE REALLY IS HIM THEN WHY DOES HIS GHOST STILL TORMENT US?
WHY WERE WE SUCH FOOLS, AS TO RELY ON THE OLD WAYS?

WE TRY AND ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG.
ANOTHER CHILD, BORN TO ANOTHER FAMILY.
THEIR FACE CANNOT BE PHOTOGRAPHED EITHER.
WE HAVE NO ANSWERS.

YEARS PASS.
PHOTOGRAPHY IS USELESS. THE CAMERAS ONLY IMMORTALIZE THE GRAFFITI THAT NOW COVERS ALL OUR WALLS.

THE CHILDREN SPEAK ONLY IN RIDDLES, AND ONLY TO EACHOTHER.
OUR ATTEMPTS TO TEACH THEM THE OLD WAYS ARE LAUGHED AT.
WE FEAR OUR OWN OFFSPRING.

THEN ONE NIGHT THEY ALL VANISH FROM OUR HOMES.
WE FIND THEM BUILDING A GREAT FIRE IN THE FIELDS.
THEY CRY OUT IN UNISON TO THEIR TRUE FATHER.

THE EARTH ITSELF RUMBLES.
THE VOLCANO!
HE WAS NEVER BORN AGAIN.
HE NEVER TRULY DIED.
WE ARE HIS MASTERPIECE.

OUR GODS HAVE FORSAKEN US.
BANKSY WALKS UNHARMED FROM THE GREAT CRATER IN THE EARTH AS IT ERUPTS ALL AROUND HIM.
ALL IS ILLUMINATED.

ALL

BUT HIS FACE.

Last edited by BEAT; 12-07-2016 at 08:09 AM. Reason: THIS HAS BEEN SLIGHTLY ALTERED FROM IT'S ORIGINAL FORM BECAUSE I AM A WEIRDO.
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  #30  
Old 12-07-2016, 05:42 PM
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Good stuff.
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