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Old 09-01-2017, 08:51 AM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
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Default Digital Down-Low for 09/01/2017: Got More Games than a Cows got Moo

I've got enough video games here for a month of Sundays!

Anyway, there's a veritable buttload of stuff this week, so I'm going to try to get through it without hitting the image cap; and that means grouping all the Neo-Geo games together! Because there are a LOT of them! Games like Fatal Fury 3! Which was not one of the FF games I've played, and I'd feel as though I were on firmer ground if this were KoF. But I bet Terry Bogard and Geese Howard are just cheesed at each other and decide to settle things with a fighting tournament! We've also got Magician Lord and Puzzled which are "basically Ghosts and Goblins" and "Pre-set Tetris Arrangement?" respectively. We've also got The Art of Fighting Collection (which is not one of Hamsters excellent NG ports, but is, instead a PS2 re-release) which collects that whole series of games I did not play, but understand to be the forebear to a number of mechanics vital to the genre and features two characters I've Heard of And like.


Now let's say you play video games to be sad? Who doesn't love that? Wellsir, we've got two releases set to tickle your tragedy bone! The Last Day of June is not about July-eve, it's about trying to Groundhogs Day your way into saving a childs life. And Life is Strange: Before the Storm is a prequel to the indie game that everyone was playing a couple years ago. I think it's about sad lesbians being moody? It sure wasn't about hopping on Goombas, shooting space enemies or magical karate tournaments, so it didn't really have anything for me. And less about making you sad, but more about walking through Weird Alien Places (but without the space monster shooting), we have Obduction, where a weird space marble lands on your head and plops you into a distant plant where you have to Myst your way back. I guess it's more like that one bit in Heavy Metal, but with the sex and violence turned off.


Speaking of Shooting Mysterious Space Monsters; that's the opposite of your goal in X-Morph: Defense a shmup-em-up/tower defense hybrid where YOU'RE the terrible spacemonster! Reenact that exciting scene from the 2016 hit film Independence Day 2 as you work towards boring a hole straight through the Earth and explode One Million Billion army guys!


Absolver is another game about clobbering the dickens out of everyone you see, and also friendship! The trailer didn't explain much save that people wear masks prior to engaging in magical fighting tournaments, and the description mentions assembling a Combat Deck, so I'm guessing it's got a kind of card-game element? I mean, the trailer looked pretty cool, but I have no idea what sort of thing this is...

Sometimes not doing research is an albatross around my neck.


Luckily, sometimes, I can make a perfectly accurate guess about all the minutia of a game just by casually glancing at half the title and the box-art. Case in point; Dead Alliance, which I sighed and said "another friggin' zombie-shooter, eh?" under my breath.

And, hey, guess what sort of a game it is...


Everybody Golf (and nobody explodes) is a new Hot Shots Golf game! Where, twenty-plus years into the franchise, Sony decides to change the title! Great idea, Sony Peeps! Anyway, I've always loved the Hot Shots franchise, so that's fine but instead of the usual enjoyable cartoony character designs, this one has kind of semi-realistic bodies with Mii-esque faces.

The end result is unsettling.

Like the Uncanny Valley in reverse.


Next is Pillars of Eternity which is an RPG that is as Baldurs Gate-y as the dickens. I'm also lead to understand that, in addition to offering a Dickensian-level of Baldurs Gate it's also pretty darn good, and as chatty as the day is long. And it's summer, so right now the days are PRETTY LONG, MY FRIEND!


Another PS2 re-release this week, in the guise of Red Faction 2 which I didn't play when it first came out, even though I enjoyed the first Red Faction and completely adored the third one.

Volition, it's great that you're keeping this brand alive via re-releases and all, I really do appreciate that. And I know you've focused all your attention on Saints Row and related properties, but could you please put Red Faction: Guerilla on a modern console. It was a thing of a beauty in a world of rust.

Anyway, this game. You shoot Bad Space Cops because they're jerks, and you're a miner who wants to unionize, or something? I guess?


My gut reaction was to say that Redout is Wipeout, since, well, the names are very similar and the FUTURECARS have pretty similar designs but, on reflection, none of the FUTURE CARS have guns, so I guess it's actually F-Zero.

This is an F-Zero game.

A game for when 1 is just too much formula.


Resident Evil Revelations is a gussied up port of my former second-favorite Resident Evil game. This time, you're on a boat! And the boat is full of Wigglyworm-men! And the plot is really stupid!

Like, stupider than you're thinking.

No... you're not getting it...

I mean, like really stupid.

This is not an indictment. It's a statement of fact.

It's just kind of hard to go back to this one considering its sequel is inexpressibly better.


Still Time is a pixelly based Puzz-latformer where you've got a real hankerin' to mess up cause and effect in a bid to survive a series of murderous puzzle rooms. Kind of got some Super Time Force vibes, but with the Contra turned down and the Prince of Persia turned up.


Metronomicon is a game about slaying dragons on the dance floor, as opposed to a dungeon full of skellymen. Assemble a team of questing heroes, and then cut a rug as opposed to an orc!

I kind of got some Theatrhythem vibes from it!


Warriors All-Stars is another Musou game, like so many before it. However, instead of retelling Romance of the Three Kingdoms or tying into an anime like usual, this time they just slapped a whole bunch of Koei and Tecmo characters into the thing and said "Go nuts!". So we've got Ryu from Ninja Gaiden fighting alongside Opoona and Kagero from Deception and okay yes, that works for me!


Windjammers isn't actually a port of an SNK-developed Ultimate Frisbee game, but BOY OH BOY does it look like it should be. To an extent that I was checking to see whether this was some arcade release I wasn't aware of. Take a fighting games roster of PRO FRISBEEMEN on to the dusty dunes of the beach and battle for supremacy in the field of DISK THROW.

Owing to the SNK fighting game-esque tone, I am presuming that this frisbee tournament will end with you either thwarting a criminal organization or murdering the devil through the use of extreme frisbe action.


Speaking of things that aren't actually that old but which do exude an air of familiarity, we have Yakuza Kiwami, a gussied all to hell and back remake of the original PS2 Yakuza that has heaps of new content added in.

I never played any of the Yakuza games so I can't speak as to the quality of those additions, but I've always had it in the back of my mind to give 'em a try so this seems like a fine way to dip my toes into the water.


And the last PSN game this week (not counting a veritable bevy of Naruto games, for all your Naruto-heads out there) is Rock of Ages 2: Bigger and Boulder which came out of nowhere, and which is a sequel to a game that came even further out of nowhere.

Now... as for describing Rock of Ages... that's trickier...

Okay...

So...

Imagine Marble Madness if the goal of each stage was to knock down a building, like Angry Birds. But also, you had to line up defenses like a Tower Defense Game. And also if the game looked like it was designed by Terry Gilliam. That's Rock of Ages.


Thankfully (for me, at least) the eShop is comparatively shrimpy this week. Especially since its (inexplicably good) big release was in last weeks update; but it's starting off with Lego Worlds which tries to do to Minecraft what Minecraft did to Lego.

Video games are an ouroboros.


Also up is the Azure Striker Gunvolt Striker Pack, a collection of the two Azure Striker Gunvolt games on the 3DS, now featuring gussier visuals and all the DLC. It doesn't seem to include the Mighty Gunvolt games which were, far and away, the best part of the series.

But still, two passably good (if overcomplicated) Mega Man-y games is nothing to sneeze at, even if the creme-d-la-creme of Games That Are Basically Mega Man are already on Switch.


Next is The League of Evil, a retro-inspired platformer where you are a Robocop dedicated to murder-punching every criminal you find while jumping over hazardously placed spikes. I'm lead to understand its one of those games that's stupid-hard out of the misguided assumption that extreme difficulty was what made games fun back in those days.


And finally, one more Neo-Geo release with Zed Blade (pronounced Zee-Blade in the US, I believe) which is a shmuppy game about flying through space obliterating every single thing you see. And it is probably also stupid-hard and fun which contradicts the statement I made like, three sentences ago. WELP, there you go.


Okay. Phew. That was a trial.
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Old 09-01-2017, 10:12 AM
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LancerECNM LancerECNM is offline
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Absolver's "Combat Deck" isn't a card game thing. Think customizable punch-man combos, ala God Hand. Looks like the combat is pretty complex, too, with every attack setting you into a particular stance, and being able to set different combos for each stance, and being able to set an alternate attack for each combo slot that swaps your stance on the fly, etc. You learn new attacks by getting hit by them or hanging out with a mentor.
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Old 09-01-2017, 10:42 AM
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four-so four-so is online now
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Quote:
Everybody Golf (and nobody explodes) is a new Hot Shots Golf game! Where, twenty-plus years into the franchise, Sony decides to change the title! Great idea, Sony Peeps! Anyway, I've always loved the Hot Shots franchise, so that's fine but instead of the usual enjoyable cartoony character designs, this one has kind of semi-realistic bodies with Mii-esque faces
I've been playing this and don't really understand this critique at all. The characters look like they do in every other game in the series - Xbox avatars, more or less - and the character designer gets about as cartoony as you would want.

Also, it's less Sony changing the name of the series and more Sony deciding the name should be consistent. It's always been Everybody's Golf in Japan.
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