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Old 08-24-2017, 04:43 PM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
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Default Digital Down-Low for 08/24/2017: I Still Refuse To Believe This Game is Real

Do you like video games? Do you love video games? Well, geez, why don't you marry video games then?

Wait, what? Really? Oh my god, congratulations! When's the date? You want me to deliver a speech? Geez, this is sudden... I'm... I'm honored. I don't know what to say.

Anyway, the Playstation 4 starts off with Bleed, a Contra-em-up of the twin-sticky variety! You play as a girl made of pixels what has a gun and an urge to solve her problems via liberal application of bright, glowing munitions.


Chromagun is... Portal. Straight up Portal. You shoot colors instead of spaceholes, but it's otherwise Portal. Gun even looks the same.

Well, it's not like Valve is going to help you play Portal on PS4, now is it? Now eat your veggies!


Duck Game is another Contr-em-up, but this one is a multiplayer shooter. Where all the peeps are Peeps!

HA HA!

Wordplay!


Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy is the latest in the insufficiently long line of PS2 remasters on the PS4! This is the first entry in the long neglected series, and dates back to when the franchise was a lesser (but very pretty) Mario 64 knock-off, as opposed to being a bright and colorful Mad Max-em-up.

Looking at the screenshots, it seems the games held up a lot better than I expected, visually. I imagine I'd be less enthused to play it now then I was 15 years ago.

...oh my God, Jak & Daxter came out fifteen years ago.


Mages of Mystralia is an action-RPG where the focus is on casting and customizing the very hell out of magic spells. Like, crazily so. Like someone looked at Magicka and said "Phht, that's some baby-town nonsense, grandpa!"

It's also written by Ed Greenwood, the guy what created Forgotten Realms, so there's that!


I couldn't get the trailer to load for Neptune Flux, but the screenshots imply it's a scubadventure where you wander the briny deep looking for Neat Stuff To Look At. Like That famous French guy whose name I tried to spell, unsuccessfully, like, five times, and kept writing Peter Sellers' character from Pink Panther.

Oh, or James Cameron! He does that too!


Super Comboman is a beating-them-up about a schlubby, but friendly, fella who decides to turn to WRASSLIN' in order to earn enough money to pay his mortgage.

I'm not certain, but I believe this was the exact same plot as Jack Blacks Nacho Libre. And possibly Kevin James' Here Comes the Boom.

It's a story that resonates through the ages


Swap Quest is an RPG of the Pipe Dreamy persuasion. You know, like your ADVENTUREMAN walks in a path made up of pipes and sometimes you've got to swap those pipes around so they can resume walking down their path and murd up some peeps. Seems like the kind of thing better suited for being squished down to a portable than being played on a big ol' tellybox, if you ask me!


The Escapists 2 is the sequel to the hit prison break game!

Not... the game based on the TV series Prison Break though.

Wait, was there a Prison Break game? There'd have to have been, right? Probably a stealth game or a one of those more adventure-gamey Hidden Picture games. That sounds right...

Anyway, it's a multiplayer escape-em-up where you've got to get out of the pokey before you've served your dept to society for your lifetime of larcenous deeds! And you can make items by mashing together different items!


Thimbleweed Park looks.... super rad, frankly. It's pretty much exactly X-Files and Maniac Mansion and Twin Peaks all mashed together into a Ron Gilbert/Gary Winnick adventure-em-up.

I didn't even know this thing existed, so this is a pleasant surprise indeed!


Uncharted: The Lost Legacy is the latest entry in the series about putting your hands where they don't belong and just completely messing up the ancestral sites of ancient tribes all over the world.

When Indiana Jones or Lara Croft do it, they at least have the thing pretext of doing it for educational purposes. Here it's explicitly because you want to steal some relics and then get super rich.

...this time you play as a woman instead of a Nolan North!


Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma is a port of the... err... third(?) entry in the popular series of book/murder-puzzle games. You're on a boat with a dude dressed like a bird and he wants to explode you unless you can solve a bunch of Junior Jumbles. Like a murderous Slylock Fox.


The Bards Tale: Resnarkled represents the gussying up of The Bards Tale. Probably not the Bards Tale you're thinking of though; this is not a first person dungeon crawler. It's the looty-style action RPG with a smart-alec Cary Elwes and Tony Jay bickering with one another.

I recall liking it plenty when I was a younger lad! I don't know if I would as much nowadays!


Now on to the eShop! Where we have nought but Switch releases! Switch Releases like Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle, the X-Com inspired Mario game where gun-toting Mario Brothers battle the proto-Minions owned by Ubisoft and, c'mon Nintendo, this joke has gone on long enough.

You don't still expect me to think this game is real, do you? The jokes gone on long enough. I mean, I admire you for commiting to the bit, but the games not out until Tuesday and your games come out on Fridays. Seriously now.

Fun is fun and all, but c'mon.


Also up is forma.8, which came out on the WiiU scant days before the Switch came out and kind of obliterated my desire to play that console. So, while I did buy and enjoy it, I'm unlikely to go back and play the copy I already own when I can make it portable or TV based whenever I choose.

It's very cruel of you to exploit my mind-scape like this, Nintendo.

Anyway, it's a Metroid-em-up where you're a little spaceball floating around a space planet


Now what if you want a puzzle game of a more "stuff drawing and also number-puzzling" variety? Wellsir, then sit yourself down and get your dang self a copy of Piczlelines DX. I glanced at screenshots and had a hard time parsing them! But there were a lot of lines and numbers on there so I'm assuming it's a Picrossy kind of thing?

Maybe!?!


And speaking of puzzle games, I'd logically assume that Puzzled is one, but I have no idea as I can't really access my Switch right now and Nintendolife doesn't have a page for it.

So it probably is but I don't want to research it.


Okay, bye! Have a wonderful summer vacation!
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  #2  
Old 08-24-2017, 05:03 PM
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muteKi muteKi is offline
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I'd say Duck Game is less like Contra and more like Towerfall (right down to the one-hit kills and smash-bros frenetic pace), and also you should get it on PC instead of PS4 so we can play against each other
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Old 08-24-2017, 06:11 PM
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MetManMas MetManMas is offline
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On the one hand, The Bard's Tale costs $7 more than it does on Android and looks to be lacking the classic computer game trilogy that said mobile ports have. On the other hand, The Bard's Tale is well suited for PS Share, given that it's a comedy RPG.
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Old 08-24-2017, 06:13 PM
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If you're curious about Piczlelines DX, there's a f2p version on mobile that has quite a bit of content to try before you plunk down those coins.
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Old 08-25-2017, 07:13 AM
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Duck Game is a super fun way to get up to some frantic multiplayer shenanigans, either online or on-couch.
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