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Old 07-06-2017, 07:54 AM
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Default Digital Down-Low for 07/06/2017: The Inhalation of Waddle Dee by the Coward, Kirby

Never before have I been so relieved to find that the threads title I came up with was just long enough to fit under the character-limit.

But you're just going to have to wait patiently to see what that title could POSSIBLY be referring to (or just skip right down to the point where the pictures change from Simpsons to Futurama) because we're starting with PSN! And there really isn't that much ground to cover this week, so that's a real time-saver for me. And we're starting off with Speed Runners, a competitive racing-based scamper-em-up wherein you and several friends RUN TO THE FINISH LINE in a series of convoluted obstacle courses. Looks kind of like a whole game based on the race mode in Sonic 2, just built for modern large wide-screen TVs and without split-screen.


AereA is a palindrome! That's pretty neat. It's also the title of the other PSN release this week which is a loot-based diabl-em-up where all the characters have musical themes. But it's still a loot-based Diabl-em-up, so once you get past the fact that your knight is using a cello instead of a sword it doesn't look like there's that much to set it apart. And, in fact, the deluxe version of this and Diablo 3 are the same price, and that came out last week... so... poor timing, AereA creation team. Sorry guys.




Moving on to the Switch, we have a another Diabl-em-up. This one doesn't have a palindrome for a title, but danged if the title isn't amazing despite that; IMPLOSION- Never Lose Hope. It's a port of a mobile dungeon crawler with some pretty nice aesthetics and a giant robot instead of a barbarian wizard or whatever and, perhaps most noteably, it's called Implosion- Never Lose Hope. Sometimes a noteworthy title like that is all it takes for me to be completely on board with a game.


Also up is a point-and-click-em-up (too many hyphens...) that mortal men know as Bulb Boy where you're a spunky lad with a lightbulb for a head stuck in a monster house. The one synopsis I read takes great pleasure in the joy of the titular Bulb Boy confronting a poop monster so... there's the bullet-point you need on the back of the box.


Also up is Vaccine, which the eagle-brained of you may recall as coming out on the WiiU and PS4 some months ago. For those of you who are forgetful or, perhaps, have memento-disease it's a procedurally generated Resident Evil game. And by "Resident Evil game" I mean "this looks in all aspects to be the PS1 classic adventure-horror game set in the outskirts of Raccoon City. And from what I'm lead to understand, it's a crummy RE1 port at that.


On a happier note, we also have another Neo-Geo port and a good one at that, with Metal Slug 2! Much like all Metal Slug games it's a cautionary tale of the dehumanizing aspects of war as you jog from left to right while indiscriminately ending the lives of every single person you meet. You monster.

They had families!


On the 3DS is Kirby Blowout Bash!

It's an expanded port of one of the more fun minigames in last years Planet Robobot that takes the gameplay of the original Kirbys Dreamland and moves it around to use all three axes, not unlike Mario 3D Land! Just with Kirby! Devouring and weaponizing every thing he sees! I'm deeply enthusiastic about this!


And the WiiU remembered that it offers a Virtual Console for Wii games and, in an attempt at cross-promoting another game due out in the near future, released the minigame collection Rayman Raving Rabbids. Reminding us, one and all, that Ubisoft came up with Minions first. And that the Rabbids were, originally, related to Rayman.


And everything else looks dismiss able. So that's all! BYYYYYYYE!
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Old 07-06-2017, 09:18 AM
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"The Inhalation of Waddle Dee by the Coward Kirby"

Holy shit that is the best
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Old 07-06-2017, 11:10 AM
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Old 07-07-2017, 04:43 AM
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Hey, we've had some fun here but Kirby Blowout Bash is pretty good. Not great, but good. Inexpensive, low-weight score attack stuff. With Kirby.

Manages to trigger the same Mental Fun Zone as the original game.
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