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  #1801  
Old 05-18-2009, 06:15 AM
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Because you always find someone to have sex with?
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  #1802  
Old 05-18-2009, 06:19 AM
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I swear, if for some unexplained reason someone ever forces me at gunpoint to produce a horror and/or slasher movie, I'm going to make sure some people who have sex don't get killed.
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  #1803  
Old 05-18-2009, 07:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turnip View Post
Here's a helpful test:
  • Are you and a group of friends or colleagues currently in an old, dilapidated location, such as an old mansion, castle or cruise ship?
  • Is it night time?
  • Did a beautiful woman that you've never seen before just appear in a doorway, at the top of the stairs, or down the hall?
  • Is her dress or robe blowing in the wind, even if there logically shouldn't be any wind?
  • Is she seemingly accompanied by a smoke machine or dry ice?
  • Is she beckoning you to come to her, or leading you somewhere?
  • Have any of your colleagues/friends turned up dead since you arrived at the location?
Please note, if you have a scruffy animal mascot with you, then you're in a late 70's/early 80's Scooby Doo ripoff. Run when you hear the 60's boy band music and remember, any hallway with more than two doors is your friend.
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  #1804  
Old 05-18-2009, 07:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smacketh View Post
Maybe for you, I'm a minority. If Hollywood has taught me anything it's that I'll be the first victim.
Shit, I forgot about this rule. I guess I'm out of this one too.

Though being Asian, I may possibly know some form of martial arts. Or I'm a Mathlete.
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  #1805  
Old 05-18-2009, 07:40 AM
Merus Merus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turnip View Post
Here's a helpful test:
  • Are you and a group of friends or colleagues currently in an old, dilapidated location, such as an old mansion, castle or cruise ship?
  • Is it night time?
  • Did a beautiful woman that you've never seen before just appear in a doorway, at the top of the stairs, or down the hall?
  • Is her dress or robe blowing in the wind, even if there logically shouldn't be any wind?
  • Is she seemingly accompanied by a smoke machine or dry ice?
  • Is she beckoning you to come to her, or leading you somewhere?
  • Have any of your colleagues/friends turned up dead since you arrived at the location?
None of these seem to describe The Ring, but then a videotape marked "DO NOT WATCH" at the site where some kids were last together seems like it'd be a dead giveaway.

I'm lucky that I'm a straight white male who doesn't feel the need to fuck anything with legs. I'm probably not going to be the first victim, so I'll have plenty of warning, and I'm hard to panic so I'll probably be in the right frame of mind to deal with the problem. I'm pretty sure that I'll get killed if I try to leave alone so I need the rest of the group bar one to come with me. (The one is the bait to give the rest of us time to get away.)

I spent years trying to work out what I'd do in the event that I was thrown back in time, preparation completely undone by the Dinosaur Comics' guy's time traveller essentials shirt. So I need to find a new completely unlikely scenario to obsess over.
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  #1806  
Old 05-18-2009, 07:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thinaran View Post
Because you always find someone to have sex with?
Oh man...I'll be screwed cause I'm screwing. The irony.
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  #1807  
Old 05-18-2009, 08:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sraymonds View Post
Shit, I forgot about this rule. I guess I'm out of this one too.

Though being Asian, I may possibly know some form of martial arts. Or I'm a Mathlete.
I'm half-mexican, so I probably got some bonuses to running away and climbing fences. La migra! La migra!
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  #1808  
Old 05-18-2009, 09:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosencrantz View Post
I'm just talking about their names. I can see some old person or something asking the ticket booth to see "that nine movie", and getting tickets to the wrong one or something.
Having worked at a movie theater, I can assure you that this is definitely going to happen.
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  #1809  
Old 05-18-2009, 09:40 AM
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For added confusion a film of a broadway musical based on an Italian play based on the Fellini film 8 1/2 is coming out in November.

It is titled Nine.
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  #1810  
Old 05-18-2009, 09:41 AM
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Nein, nein, nein!
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  #1811  
Old 05-18-2009, 10:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ravinoff View Post
For added confusion a film of a broadway musical based on an Italian play based on the Fellini film 8 1/2 is coming out in November.

It is titled Nine.
I thought you were joking until I looked it up.
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  #1812  
Old 05-18-2009, 12:39 PM
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I saw Nine at least nine years ago. Some small outdoor company in Denver did it, and my mom knew one of the actresses so we all went.

But the only thing I remember was that it rained on us. :/
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  #1813  
Old 05-18-2009, 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dizzy View Post
Nein, nein, nein!
I surely do hope that Inglorious Basterds is not easy to confuse with 9 and District 9.
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  #1814  
Old 05-18-2009, 01:01 PM
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I saw the classic film Being There starring Peter Sellers this weekend. I thinks its critique of the vapidity of society and television still stands up. And the scene with Shirley MacLaine pleasuring herself was a hoot.
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  #1815  
Old 05-18-2009, 03:17 PM
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I found out just several days ago that Shirley MacLaine is Warren Beatty's big sister. Huh, go figure.

Trying to work up the nerve to watch Marathon Man at some point over the next few days. It's a hard life, being an easily-squeamish person who gets upset, cries, can't sleep, et cetera at the drop of a hat.
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  #1816  
Old 05-18-2009, 05:32 PM
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Tyson was really boring. That man is ridiculous, though, so I guess I'm glad I saw it?
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  #1817  
Old 05-18-2009, 05:39 PM
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Creep.

What the hell.

I guess I won't be going on the London Underground any time soon. I would've preferred that it be some strange, inexplicable monster and that it would appear in the brightly lit hallways more often, but whatever. It was still pretty effective.
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  #1818  
Old 05-18-2009, 07:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sraymonds View Post
A slasher flick might be easier for us to survive.
I have actually survived one of these!

That is to say, I played a character in a feature length slasher movie who was in the first scene and the last scene, alive and kickin'!
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  #1819  
Old 05-18-2009, 08:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShakeWell View Post
I have actually survived one of these!

That is to say, I played a character in a feature length slasher movie who was in the first scene and the last scene, alive and kickin'!
What movie? I need to take notes.
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  #1820  
Old 05-19-2009, 02:12 AM
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I watched Seven Pounds on a plane yesterday. I couldn't stop laughing, it was so bad, so overly maudlin and needlessly dramatic. I should have watched Bride Wars instead. Um....so, later on, I actually did end up watching Bride Wars on the same plane. It....wasn't completely terrible. I can honestly say I enjoyed it more than Seven Pounds.
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  #1821  
Old 05-19-2009, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smacketh View Post
Maybe for you, I'm a minority. If Hollywood has taught me anything it's that I'll be the first victim.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sraymonds View Post
Shit, I forgot about this rule. I guess I'm out of this one too.
Sillies, there are no asians or other minorities in slasher films. Just the token black guy/couple.
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  #1822  
Old 05-19-2009, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Queen Possum View Post
Sillies, there are no asians or other minorities in slasher films. Just the token black guy/couple.
The Friday the 13th remake had a likable Asian guy. He did not survive.
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  #1823  
Old 05-19-2009, 06:43 PM
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Angels & Demons is a popcorn movie. Funnily enough, it doesn't have any clunkers on the level of Star Trek's galaxy-destroying supernova - the only liberty it takes is inventing a scientific experiment that produces a gram of antimatter, a completely prohibitive amount. Everything else is either pretty probable, or is explained as being part of the plot.
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  #1824  
Old 05-19-2009, 07:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sraymonds View Post
What movie? I need to take notes.
It's called "Curse of the Great Lakes," but it's not out yet. It's still being edited (which is funny, because the two movies I was in the following year will be out first).
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  #1825  
Old 05-19-2009, 09:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Merus View Post
Angels & Demons is a popcorn movie. Funnily enough, it doesn't have any clunkers on the level of Star Trek's galaxy-destroying supernova - the only liberty it takes is inventing a scientific experiment that produces a gram of antimatter, a completely prohibitive amount. Everything else is either pretty probable, or is explained as being part of the plot.
Eh, I thought it was okay. It's funny, because when reading the book, I was thinking, "This is alright, but it would probably work better as an action movie." It was decent as a popcorn movie, but it wasn't anything special, in my opinion.
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  #1826  
Old 05-19-2009, 11:21 PM
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Thank you to people who mini-reviewed JCVD! That was an interesting and unexpected movie.
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  #1827  
Old 05-20-2009, 10:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nunix View Post
Thank you to people who mini-reviewed JCVD! That was an interesting and unexpected movie.
Trust me, it isn't so good at 5am when you haven't slept.
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  #1828  
Old 05-20-2009, 10:13 AM
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Not to steal Shakewell's glory, but the movie that I worked costumes on apparently just hit the Netflix.

I have not seen it yet, so I cannot verify it's quality, but my mom liked it. Take that as you will.
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  #1829  
Old 05-20-2009, 10:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiggumbeard View Post
Eh, I thought it was okay. It's funny, because when reading the book, I was thinking, "This is alright, but it would probably work better as an action movie." It was decent as a popcorn movie, but it wasn't anything special, in my opinion.
That's why it always confused me that they made Da Vinci Code first; Angels and Demons has a more movie-like pace, and comes first chronologically. I guess there's not as much controversy bait, which is why it didn't pan out. It's got all the usual Dan Brown problems in novel form; I understand those were only exacerbated in the movie.

My mom liked it a lot more, but then she liked the book a lot more as well.
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  #1830  
Old 05-21-2009, 12:05 PM
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A Clockwork Orange:

I'm very immoral!
Not any more!
Then, my drugs, I fell asleep.
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