The Return of Talking Time

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  #11491  
Old 11-07-2015, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Torzelbaum View Post
So is that what Apple Jacks is referring to?
Yes, and Oh's are specifically the big O.
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  #11492  
Old 11-07-2015, 06:01 PM
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Default World History

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There’s no way that EVERYBODY was Kung Fu fighting.
As a survivor of the 70s, i must inform you that, in fact, at Peak Kung-fu, literally everyone on Earth was Kung Fu fighting, even babies, who came out of the womb able to assume crane stance and kicking doctors through walls if the doctor tried to slap them.

The Reign of the Demon Emperor Nixon exerted karmic influence through time, ensuring the rise of martial artists able to take him on and destroy him. The Greatest Generation’s name is really a description of their kung fu skills. The Baby Boomers came out of the womb able to make things explode with their chi. Generation X is so known because our real name was destroyed in the final battles against Demon Emperor Nixon; the reason we are half the size of the other generations is because Demon Emperor Nixon tried to kill off all those born after 1965, as one of us was prophesied to slay him.

Entire countries were destroyed at the height of the fighting; Lemuria cracked in half and sank. Ninety-five percent of the Netherlands was destroyed in an infamous battle between Stone Cold Jane Austen and Charles Dikkens (the famous Dutch author) which flooded most of it; what we call the Netherlands now was only a tiny chunk of the original. National boundaries changed, cities burned, and we lost the second moon; no one remembers it now.

At its height, punches were destroying entire cities, kicks destroying entire concepts. The US used to have 75 states and 25 of them are gone.

No one knows for sure who threw the final punch, only that the Beatles stumbled out of the flaming wreckage of the Demon Palace covered in purple blood and then in the morning, everything had changed; kung fu itself had lost its power and the world faded, becoming mundane.

But maybe that’s for the best. The world was nearly destroyed by Kung Fu; humanity could not handle its power. Even now, I can only remember the truth when that song plays and reminds me of a time of glory and wrath which can never come again.
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  #11493  
Old 11-07-2015, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Droewyn View Post
I know we're not supposed to context, but this was an anonymous ask sent to successful SF/fantasy/video game/television writer Diane Duane on tumblr.



Her response was amazingly kind, given the smug entitlement oozing from every word.
put her response in the other best post thread?
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  #11494  
Old 11-08-2015, 10:25 AM
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I'll let someone else explain the rest of the joke.
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  #11495  
Old 11-08-2015, 03:07 PM
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Salty, 2015
Mixed Media on paper
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  #11496  
Old 11-08-2015, 03:10 PM
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Good salt.
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  #11497  
Old 11-08-2015, 04:01 PM
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Default Psychiatry

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“As a psychiatrist, I find the question ‘how do guys get off to anime tiddy’ fascinating
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  #11498  
Old 11-10-2015, 06:26 AM
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The fact of the matter is that a lot of us were excluded and ostracized from society specifically for being nerds. Now the things ASSOCIATED with being a nerd are trendy and cool, so the same types of people who made our lives miserable are now claiming a title they don't deserve. Nothing has changed, being a nerd is still something to be shamed in today's society. People will look at you differently, write you off, laugh at you, or talk shit to you when you walk through a store or go to your job or go to school.
We owned the internet until everyone else flooded in, bastardized it, and kicked us out. We owned gaming until everyone else flooded in, bastardized it, and kicked us out. Then we owned the counter-culture social media outlets like Reddit and 4chan until everyone else flooded in, bastardized it, and kicked us out. The list goes on. We don't WANT more people in our community like you seem to think. We don't care about being toxic and chasing after societies approval. We want everyone to either fully embrace us (which will never happen) or fuck off.
"nerd" isn't just some label like being a metalhead or punk or jock or scenester. It's what defines our lives. It's about receiving a lifetime of harassment, loneliness, and abuse from society for NOT having fucked up priorities. Being talked down to by people much dumber than you on a regular basis because you don't give a fuck about pop-culture or style or parties or getting laid while those same idiots simultaneously take advantage of an entire empire built single handedly by nerds. So yea, I'll be a gatekeeper. Unless you meet the listed criteria, fuck off you're not a nerd.
return 0, end of rant.
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  #11499  
Old 11-10-2015, 06:59 AM
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That's the most R9K-esqe post I've seen since @r9k_txt threw in the towel.
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  #11500  
Old 11-10-2015, 07:24 AM
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Being a nerd.

Being a nerd...

never changes.
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  #11501  
Old 11-10-2015, 07:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Healy View Post
.
I would actually like to continue reading this! As a guy who lives in Japan and struggles with otaku identity, this is something I think about from time to time. I recently strolled through Akihabara, and it still strikes me that there is a definite line that I cannot and do not want to cross. I'm reminded when I see things like anime lady mouse pads with boobs to wrest your wrist upon.

Anyway, is there any simple way to read those interview transcripts?
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  #11502  
Old 11-10-2015, 06:51 PM
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anime lady-mouse pads with boobs
must have tezuka on the brain...
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  #11503  
Old 11-11-2015, 08:27 AM
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YEARS OF TITTY MOUSEPAD HAS PREPARED ME FOR THIS DAY thought the nerd, as he fearlessly rested his forearm on the beautiful woman's chest and repeatedly tapped on her nose and forehead.
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  #11504  
Old 11-11-2015, 06:03 PM
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Hey, whoa, hold the phone! Who does this person think they are!? I mean, even if this so called "Rodea the Sky Soldier" may suck donkey scrotum, that does not, and I repeat, DOES NOT give them the authority to put down Sonic the Hedgehog that way! Listen here, buddy! I don't know who you are, but Sonic the Hedgehog is an awesome video game character who has made more money than you could ever make throughout your entire CAREER, and yet you still have the AUDACITY to make such a comment!? Well, I don't approve! So you leave the Internet and take your needle-nosed, bug-eyed, boneheaded goons with you!!!
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  #11505  
Old 11-12-2015, 09:22 AM
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Default The most important moment of our times

https://vine.co/v/elQbigtAxaF
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  #11506  
Old 11-12-2015, 04:52 PM
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College prof: OK class, today we'll learn the correct way to design and make a computer. First of all it has to be beige, second of all it has to have pointed corners instead of being rounded, finally the computer is a separate part to the monitor instead of having the monitor and computer be the same thing, anyone who makes a computer a different way will be expelled
Students [droning, monotonous unison]: Yes... make computer
steve jobs: This can't be right... there has to be a better way!
audience member in cinema turning to friend: that's steve jobs
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  #11507  
Old 11-12-2015, 06:23 PM
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I like how they ignore the part where they created that paradigm to begin with, because nobody (everybody under 35) remembers the Apple II.
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  #11508  
Old 11-12-2015, 07:54 PM
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Wrong thread?
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  #11509  
Old 11-12-2015, 08:41 PM
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Yup, should've been in the best talking time post thread!

Thanks!
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  #11510  
Old 11-13-2015, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
titty mousepads
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  #11511  
Old 11-13-2015, 08:45 PM
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In the Monty Python Spam skit, the second option presented to the couple is "egg, sausage and bacon". Later she asks for "egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam" and is greeted with a repulsed response. But the second item on the menu is exactly what she asked for. Why didn't she just ask for that?
Quote:
Er, did you somehow miss the fact that none of that sketch (like many other Python sketches) made any sense, nor was it supposed to...?
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She's clearly pining for the fjords.
Quote:
Within the fiction of the sketch, it makes some sense for the woman to think that there's nothing to order without Spam in it. The cook's list goes on for so long, and mentions Spam so many times, that anyone in that situation could easily forget what the first few items mentioned were, or that they didn't include Spam.

We might then wonder why the cook doesn't say "Oh, if you don't like Spam, you can just get eggs, bacon and sausage, as I mentioned before." Maybe she's forgotten her own menu; maybe she's feigning ignorance out of spite. Neither theory has much support in the text. As performed, it seems that for the first several seconds of the sketch, there is something on the menu that doesn't include Spam; then the facts have changed, and there is nothing on the menu that doesn't have some Spam. The text is inconsistent.

From outside the fiction, the humor of the sketch derives primarily from the second set of facts. The woman's inability to order anything without Spam causes her to get more and more frantic, mounting the tension of the situation so as to enable the "catharsis" of the madness that follows.

It would be a bit much to say that there's a narrative, but the sketch does have an emotional arc: innocuous absurdity, followed by increasingly animated absurdity, and then off-the-rails absurdity. For this to work, the beginning of the sketch has to be constructed carefully: The Vikings are present, but quiet; the couple float down from the void into their seats, but this is not remarked upon. Critically, the cook can't mention Spam. Not right away. Recall Borges, The Garden of Forking Paths:
Quote:
"In a riddle whose answer is chess, what is the only word that must not be used?"
If the first word out of the cook's mouth were "Spam," then the sketch would have tipped its hand; the revelation (in a few seconds) that this café very nearly serves only Spam would not have the same weight, would not be as funny. The sketch needs to mislead us for a little while in order to be as absurd as it is. So the cook first mentions a few Spam-free items, essentially as a pacing device. Once the Spam joke well and truly comes into play, the audience is expected to forget that set of facts: The rules of this world have been replaced with new, funnier ones.

This is not to say that the inconsistency is necessary to the comedy. The sketch is not funny because the cook refuses to acknowledge a menu item she mentioned a minute beforehand. It's funny because the cook insists on putting Spam in everything! The inconsistency is incidental, hard to notice, not funny, just comedically convenient. If the sketch were constructed such that the requisite pacing beats were filled by something other than the cook mentioning Spam-free meals, the work overall would be just as effective, having lost nothing for making a tiny bit more sense.

I am equally prepared to believe that the geniuses of Monty Python noticed this inconsistency and figured nobody else would, or that they didn't notice it themselves.
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  #11512  
Old 11-13-2015, 09:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Healy View Post
How to murder humour with a shovel.txt
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  #11513  
Old 11-14-2015, 06:29 AM
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I guess they could've said, "because that wouldn't be funny you mirthless pendant," but this works too.
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  #11514  
Old 11-15-2015, 06:58 PM
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Or it doesn't really matter because all of the jack wagons that are not able to read this are going to fire up that new game system on Christmas Day and crash the servers anyway making multiplayer completely useless and let's face it in this day and age of games nothing else matters so cheers to not being able to use any of our gaming systems for anything other than a bluray player until about New Years eve
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They are not I'm here for the multiplayer dammit and all these kids piss in my Cheerios every Christmas morning when I inevitably get a new game and cannot play it
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  #11515  
Old 11-17-2015, 09:00 PM
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So what I want to know is when Martin Gardner stands before The Supreme Judges on High, the three Ancients of Days on Uversa, the capital of our evolutionary superuniverse of Orvonton, whose fairness-finding mechanisms and justice-determining procedures function as an administrative confirmation of the final decision of every planetary mortal to either live forever or sleep forever, will he suddenly realize that ever since May 22, 2010 (the Urantian date of the demise of his electro-chemical mechanism), it might be too late for him to remorsefully recant his infinitely unjust condemnation of Revelatory Truths of Epochal Significance so graciously bestowed upon our planet (and without any legal documentation requesting interplanetary royalty compensation), mysteriously materialized (not "channeled" as some falsely allege) treasures of truth-revealing documents containing disclosures of previously "classified" information that were perhaps beyond MG's conscious capacity to intellectually discern?
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  #11516  
Old 11-18-2015, 08:25 PM
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one time I dreamed that my body was made of shredded wheat and my boyfriend had tied me up in the bathtub and was slowly adding more and more 2% fat milk into the tub and I was becoming soggy and I asked to stop because I was scared I was going to fall about and he just pushed his fingers to my lips and continued to pour milk all over my fibrous body and I could feel the milk seeping into my crevices and swelling up inside of me and he left me there for hours and I disintegrated.
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  #11517  
Old 11-18-2015, 08:36 PM
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Sometimes I think modern society shares a bit too much...
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  #11518  
Old 11-18-2015, 08:37 PM
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foreverial tied-up delitized wheaty girlfriend
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  #11519  
Old 11-18-2015, 08:39 PM
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Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
foreverial tied-up delitized wheaty girlfriend
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  #11520  
Old 11-19-2015, 06:59 AM
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There’s vision of a future where every phone will have a mining chip, and people out the goodness of their heart will pay for the mining chip and will mine at a loss for the greater good. A future where millions of people will buy the phone with the lower battery life, because they believe in bitcoin.
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