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Old 08-12-2017, 11:30 PM
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LancerECNM LancerECNM is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Got to play for the first time in forever. The party is a eternally-mediating Tiefling Bard (me), a Half-Orc Warlock with a fey patron, and a Khenra (Amonkhet MtG supplement) Barbarian.

The session started in a goblin camp in a jungle, with the Warlock and I so busy consulting a map that we did not notice goblins just dropped a cage on us. To quote the Warlock: "Wait. Are we in a cage?" Queue the local Barbarian stumbling upon the scene, who the goblins immediately attempt to put in the cage by... walking up to him, and tugging on his shirt. Well, scalemail, but you get the idea. The Barbarian gets us out by... opening the apparently completely unlocked cage. Then we get into a fight with the three goblins and their grimlock. Well, I say "we" but it was mostly the Barbarian charging in with the Warlock providing fire support. The last goblin nearly killed the Warlock, which made my 2-fucking-0 Charisma come in handy! I'm pretty good at healing dudes, turns out - even if my roll is shit.

The Barbarian eats some mushrooms from the goblin's tent without thinking and starts tripping balls without the rest of the party's knowledge. He takes point - sort of. More like he's Naked Snaking it through the jungle and I and the Warlock start following him because... well, Scarborough, our donkey, ate our map. As night falls, we run into a beholder! Except it's not a beholder, it's a bigass beholder-shaped mushroom. The Barbarian - still tripping balls, mind - grabs a chunk of it, which proceeds to explode into spores, nearly killing him (yay cure wounds!) and giving him an 8-hour time limit before he dies, full stop.

We eventually found a group of volunteer farmers outside the main city in the region. We were immediately mistaken for volunteers, and shit got handled serious-like when the Barbarian explained that he had a run-in with a Gasbag (I understand it's a scaled down version of a CR2 Deathcap Mushroom). Queue the Warlock loudly exclaiming "YES, I TOO, A DUMBASS, GOT INJURED BY A GASBAG, BECAUSE I AM VERY DUMB," his flawless gambit to get a horse to get to town faster. I just kind of went along with it, scoring a free antidote if trouble comes up later via a Performance check to act like I was taking the antidote and then stowing it.

Then the sweaty, angry, tired Warlock spilled the beans and we were sent to go pay the apothecary that makes the antidotes, because the antidotes are provided to the farmers for free in exchange for the apothecary getting a "get out of tax free" card for foodstuffs.

Here, we split our separate ways, with the Barbarian working two days of farm work in four hours to repay the farmers for their kindness. The Warlock peaced out to a tavern where he accidentally hired a prostitute as part of his room and board; quoth the Warlock "Oh. Are we, like, doing this? I love this town."

Meanwhile, I got to have the Tiefling Racism Mystery Tour, stopping off to pay the apothecary. I explained the misunderstanding that happened and offered to pay for the antidotes we received (yes I stole an antidote that I later attempted to pay for), and got told to get out. Being Used To This Shit, I chalked it up as two free antidotes. Sweet. Then I started canvassing the city for the most likely place the Warlock would be at, and got it in one guess (we rolled for it, too). When I asked around for him, I explained that yes, he's my friend, and got us both kicked out of the inn. I had to go, uh, interrupt him - quoth me: "No, we really have to go. It happened again." He went in kicked up a fuss at the bar while I gathered our belongings and chatted with the prostitute who was literally the nicest person in the entire city to me.

Then a guard helpfully pointed us to the undercity, where our kind is more kindly looked upon. When he refused to get too close to the undercity entrance, I asked him what we were walking into. When he explained that the lower levels of the undercity is primarily populated by devils, my eyes lit up. My drunken dart throwing back in the last town pointed the Warlock and I in the exact right direction - I'm looking for the mother I never met, after all.
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concentration , dungeons and dragons , edition wars , gith racism , tasha's hideous slaughter

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