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  #1  
Old 08-08-2017, 07:26 PM
four-so's Avatar
four-so four-so is offline
All are Mr. Saturn
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Louisiana
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Default Bedtime Stories with Four-so's Kids

Kid A: Did you hear the one about the woman with 100 kids?

Me: No. Tell me.

Kid A: So, a woman has 100 babies, the first in history. Because there's so many babies, the woman decides to just name them numerically, in sequential order. One day, in a tragic accident, all of the kids die except for 90. 90 grows up to become a successful businessman, and has two kids of his own. Those kids find a dog and decide to keep it, even though they are forbidden to do so. They name it "This" so they can talk about the dog without the parents catching on. Unfortunately, the dog gets hit by an automobile one day and dies.

ONLY 90s KIDS WILL REMEMBER THIS.

Me: -_-
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  #2  
Old 08-08-2017, 07:34 PM
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aturtledoesbite aturtledoesbite is offline
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i love your kids already
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  #3  
Old 08-08-2017, 07:36 PM
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Serephine Serephine is online now
contains words & diagrams
 
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It sounds like you need to be careful, because your kid is poised to slay you and take on the mantle of Dad themselves.
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  #4  
Old 08-21-2017, 07:04 PM
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four-so four-so is offline
All are Mr. Saturn
 
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Location: Louisiana
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Round 1:

Me: Hey, take off that robe. You're going to be hot with that on and the blanket. The robe is just for walking around in when you get out of bed.

Kid A: No, Dad. The robe is for being a sexy mofo. And I must be a sexy mofo at all times.

Me: You're going to be hot and...

Kid A: PRECISELY!

Me: -_-


Round 2:

Kid S: You can't do a cartwheel.

Me: No, I can't. But I know good form when I see it. I can tell you what's wron---

Kid S: *farts loudly and proudly, and then giggles her ass off*

Me: *sigh* Goodnight.
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  #5  
Old 08-22-2017, 02:25 AM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
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I think your kids are the best posters-by-proxy on this forum.
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  #6  
Old 08-23-2017, 03:19 PM
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Kirin Kirin is online now
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Seconded.
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