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  #1  
Old 02-05-2011, 12:27 PM
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Default Tights and Taunts: The Wrestling Thread

Hell, if it's only a place for Joe and I to talk about wrestling without bothering anyone, this thread will be worth it, but I think there may be a few more interested parties.

I used to follow Wrestling pretty religiously in my high school days, and while I never lost my appreciation for it, the cheesy and absurdly raunchy (in a very Rated M kind of "mature" way) soap opera qualities coupled with a focus on bad acting over actual wrestling made me start losing interest sometime in the early 2000's. Also, turning the Undertaker in to a biker hick.

I would check in from time to time, but have watched very little over the past decade.

Then, the other day, I had a very brief conversation with Joe, and it made me suddenly want to take a look at what's going on. I decided to check out last week's smackdown on Hulu, and since that was immediately followed by the Royal rumble -- always a favorite PPV of mine -- I downloaded that as well.

My immediate thoughts: Jesus christ -- I leave for one measly decade and they have Jerry Lawler as a straight man and MICHAEL FUCKING COLE doing color commentary? What is the world coming to?

I was actually pretty impressed by the Rumble though. 40 guys this year as opposed to the usual 30, which was interesting. I thought it was a pretty cool idea to slow things down in the middle of the event and have the Nexus own the ring for a good 10 minutes or so. Would have totally screwed up the flow had they not added in the extra 10 guys, but as it stands, I thought it made for a pretty entertaining intermission of sorts.

Also, Hornswaggle was fucking hilarious. Pint sized wrestlers and joke entrants to the rumble are par for the course, but that little dude made me laugh harder than he had any right to.

Kevin Nash's appearence, and the fan reaction to it (jesus, they were booing Rey fucking Mysterio) was pretty cool too. Nice dye job, guy.

All in all, if the episode of Smackdown I watched was any indication, the WWE seems to be moving back to a more wrestling focused format, which is more than welcome. While I still think they're still too focused on the impact of "finishing moves", making for less interesting matches overall (especially among luchadores), the quality of the matches was actually a lot better than I'd come to expect in my later days of fandom. I may just check it out for a bit and see if it grabs me. I'll have to find a reliable way to watch Raw though, since I don't have cable and it's not on hulu.

Also, that dude from the Real World may be the best heel I've seen since Kurt Angle. I was pretty impressed.
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Old 02-05-2011, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by widdershins View Post
Hell, if it's only a place for Joe and I to talk about wrestling without bothering anyone, this thread will be worth it, but I think there may be a few more interested parties.
Hey now. I'm more than happy to talk about wrestling. I reject your stereotype that Joe is the only person who would talk about it. Uh....there's Sven! And...uh...

Quote:
My immediate thoughts: Jesus christ -- I leave for one measly decade and they have Jerry Lawler as a straight man and MICHAEL FUCKING COLE doing color commentary? What is the world coming to?
Auughh. Yeah. He's effective in that he can get massive heat, but he's also just insufferable even if you're aware of kayfabe. I can't wait until they drop this persona if only for my own sanity.

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Also, Hornswaggle was fucking hilarious. Pint sized wrestlers and joke entrants to the rumble are par for the course, but that little dude made me laugh harder than he had any right to.
I'm kind of surprised how long they've kept him around ever since they dropped the "Hornswaggle is Vince McMahon's illegitimate son" angle.

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Kevin Nash's appearence, and the fan reaction to it (jesus, they were booing Rey fucking Mysterio) was pretty cool too. Nice dye job, guy.
In theory, I'm not a Nash fan, but in practice, the idea of having a new old wrestler in the roster would make me mark out. Too bad this probably isn't the case here.

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All in all, if the episode of Smackdown I watched was any indication, the WWE seems to be moving back to a more wrestling focused format, which is more than welcome. While I still think they're still too focused on the impact of "finishing moves", making for less interesting matches overall (especially among luchadores), the quality of the matches was actually a lot better than I'd come to expect in my later days of fandom. I may just check it out for a bit and see if it grabs me. I'll have to find a reliable way to watch Raw though, since I don't have cable and it's not on hulu.
It's because they've moved back to TV-PG standards as a survival mechanism. That way, they can get all demographics and not have to worry about pissing people off. Of course, they still could bring a bit more hate even without the blood...

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Also, that dude from the Real World may be the best heel I've seen since Kurt Angle. I was pretty impressed.
The company seems really high on him right now, and while I'm glad they're giving him a chance, I hope they don't go too wild with him to the point of oversaturation. They also have this fixation with putting him in feuds with Lawler, which I'm not so sure about...
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  #3  
Old 02-05-2011, 01:18 PM
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It's because they've moved back to TV-PG standards as a survival mechanism. That way, they can get all demographics and not have to worry about pissing people off. Of course, they still could bring a bit more hate even without the blood...
Well, I think it works in their favor overall from what little I've seen so far. They never really handled "mature" content particularly gracefully, and bloody matches really only serve to show you how tough a guy is -- the vast majority of them really ended up being extremely boring. While I enjoyed watching the likes of Stone Cold and The Rock wrestle, they had some of the most unwatchable matches (Wrestlemania 15 comes to mind) where they just dick around on the ramp and backstage. I always have to ask myself who liked watching that crap.

There will always be standouts like the infamous Foley/Taker hell in a cell, but they're never going to top the likes of Japan's deathmatch tournaments, and attempts to recapture the magic (via things like cell tops that are designed to be broken) always fell flat. If you don't have people like Mick Foley, Hardcore Holly, or Terry Funk, who understand how to have an interesting "hardcore" match, it's best to just let it go.

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The company seems really high on him right now, and while I'm glad they're giving him a chance, I hope they don't go too wild with him to the point of oversaturation. They also have this fixation with putting him in feuds with Lawler, which I'm not so sure about...
Yeah, I read a bit about that, and it seems really weird to me. If you put the two of them in a match, you either get Lawler being handily beaten, and making for an uninteresting event, or you have Miz getting beaten, which might undermine the push they seem to be giving him. I'm really scratching my head over that bit.
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:21 PM
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There are only two periods when wrestling meant much to me. The first was the WWF in the 1980s (especially that sweet spot between 1984 and 1988). The second was when the WCW turned into the WWF from the 1980s (around 1996 to 1999). Beyond that, professional wrestling feels trite and desperate, with very little actual wrestling and a whole lot of hammy acting and dumb storylines. I hate pretty much everything the newly christened WWE stands for, from the "dark and edgy" storylines that border on the surreal (didn't an 80 year old woman give birth to someone's hand in one of the story arcs?) to Vince McMahon's suspicious fascination with extremely muscular fighters. You want to see the technical Japanese wrestlers and the acrobatic luchadors in action? Nope, sorry, you're stuck with the stiff beefcakes that Vince will be ogling while his desk stands on three legs. Add to that the fact that anything resembling wrestling is locked behind a pay wall and you've got a recipe for total disinterest.
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:28 PM
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Yeah, that's pretty much the way I've felt, which is why I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the couple of things I just watched. Interesting technical or high flying wrestlers are still undermined by the video gamey nature of the way WWE matches go, but beyond that, I found a lot of wrestling and not a huge amount of bullshit.

...though the fact that Smackdown now has an acting GM who's gimmick is shouting "excuse me" in a shrill voice is beyond annoying.

Dolf Ziggler, though? What a fucking handle! I'm expecting Marky Mark to say "I must break you" followed by him whipping out his dick. This is not a pretty mental image.
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Old 02-05-2011, 01:50 PM
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Dolf Ziggler, though? What a fucking handle! I'm expecting Marky Mark to say "I must break you" followed by him whipping out his dick. This is not a pretty mental image.
Hey, it's a step up from when he was Nicky from the Spirit Squad, the male cheerleader stable!
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Old 02-05-2011, 02:13 PM
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Hey, it's a step up from when he was Nicky from the Spirit Squad, the male cheerleader stable!
Male cheerleader squad? Another one of Vince's ideas, I suspect.
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Old 02-05-2011, 02:30 PM
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Things get wackier when you account for the rumored angles that never came about, like the incest angle where Vince's kids would become...involved.

Of course, like all scuttlebutt, it could all be bunk, but I wouldn't put it past Vince at this point.
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Old 02-05-2011, 04:51 PM
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so when did it start to suck real bad

I say it's after the Rock VS Hogan. It wasn't that horrible a match, but it was like...a passing of the torch in reverse

That's when I stopped watching, at least
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  #10  
Old 02-05-2011, 06:21 PM
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I hate pretty much everything the newly christened WWE stands for, from the "dark and edgy" storylines that border on the surreal (didn't an 80 year old woman give birth to someone's hand in one of the story arcs?) to Vince McMahon's suspicious fascination with extremely muscular fighters.
This is clearly spoken by someone who hasn't watched the product since the Benoit incident. The show being PG has taken away all the dumb storylines of Mae Young birthing hands and Val Venis having to deal with threats of "choppy choppy your pee-pee." As for the monster 'roid guys, well, there will always be some, but guys like CM Punk and Bryan Danielson are getting pushes now, and no one mistakes them for being 'roided up.

Sometimes the stories still don't make sense from a pure storytelling perspective (Vicki Guererro bans the spear, but why? Edge hasn't hurt anyone with it, it just doesn't make sense. As acting GM of Smackdown, she must answer to the Board of Directors, therefore she should have to have a reason to ban the spear. Even if said reason was a heel besides her boyfriend faking like he'd been horribly injured by it, just to justify its banning), but they're not totally insane.

Honestly, what you describe sounds a lot more like TNA. No one should watch TNA.

Oh, and I can't pass up an opportunity to mention my own career, some highlights of which you can view here.
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:22 PM
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I got way into WWF and ECW wrestling from late 1998 to 2000. (I actively disliked WCW despite never really seeing it.)

I didn't have cable, so I first stayed up on things by watching rented PPV tapes and catching Shotgun from time to time. I was super jacked for the debut of Smackdown and didn't miss an episode of it for months and months. My favorite WWF guys were Mick Foley and, after the Radicalsz thing — *ahem* — Chris Benoit. The Rock's promos were also really fun. My favorite moment was the return of Cactus Jack in Chicago, which I was actually there for. It was pretty amazing luck that I would see the return of my favorite persona of my favorite wrestler in person despite only going to 2 or 3 events total. I had a Cactus Jack T-shirt at the time, which I bought from WWF.com for some ridiculously high price, but I can't wear it anymore as it was XXL size. (I was much bigger then, and while my body really only justified XL size, everyone wore ill-fitting clothes in the '90s.)

I basically didn't know what ECW was until it had begun the slow process of dying, so I missed a lot of the classic days, but it was always really exciting to stay up late and catch ECW Hardcore TV. I also had some compilation tapes released around the time of the TNN deal, and I remember being super pissed that some of the music had been edited out for licensing reasons. I liked Lance Storm, Danny Doring & Roadkill, Steve Corino's heel promos, Masato Tanaka, and Taz (I flipped out over his WWF debut). I didn't really like RVD because I saw him as a spot-monkey who had the same 30-minute match over and over again. My favorite moment, though I only saw it after the fact, was Lance Storm turning on Justin Credible. I almost went to Anarchy Rulz in the Chicago 'burbs, but my friends couldn't commit so I skipped it.

Save for my hundreds of hours spent with the Acclaim WWF and ECW games, making dozens and dozens of created wrestlers and inventing ridiculous angles with my friends, the most fun thing that came out of my wrestling fan days was a morbid fascination with everything besides the actual product: the machinations of the wrestling industry. It's just such a hermetically sealed subculture. It's amazing to me how these people go through the entire gamut of human experience — from dizzying heights of glory to the lowest depths of depravity — all while encased in this tiny universe, with its own expectations, rituals, folklore, and lexicon that are completely impenetrable by outsiders. It's basically a cult. Except cults aren't supposed to also be media juggernauts with endless merchandising potential. Bafflingly unique.

Last edited by Ethan; 02-05-2011 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:32 PM
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It's amazing to me how these people go through the entire gamut of human experience — from dizzying heights of glory to the lowest depths of depravity — all while encased in this tiny universe, with its own expectations, rituals, folklore, and lexicon that are completely impenetrable by outsiders. It's basically a cult. Except cults aren't supposed to also be media juggernauts with endless merchandising potential. Bafflingly unique.
This is more or less true. It's weird to explain to people "yes, I am really educated and well spoken, and yes, I really love pro wrestling. No, not ironically. And no, I'm not the only one."
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:34 PM
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I stumbled upon the Joey Pink highlight video a couple weeks ago. You did a flying head-scissors to a guy. I've always thought doing a flying head-scissors would be super fun. Is it fun?
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:50 PM
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Sweet! I've been waiting for this thread!

I recently got back into pro wrestling, specifically the WWE after a 10 year hiatus. The Nexus angle brought me back in because it was pretty freaking fantastic at first! It hasn't really evolved into an angle that I care for but overall I enjoy the product. Obviously, my current favorite is Zack Ryder. A few other random, baseless opinions:

-Randy Orton is super over and is talented, but the man bores me to death. With his finisher and Viper moniker, are they trying to build him as the next Stone Cold? I don't see it.

-Ziggler is absolutely fantastic in the ring and as long as he has Vickie he'll have instant heat. If he doesn't have the strap by the end of the year, I will be shocked.

-I go back and forth between loving Cena and hating the guy. For example, I loved him when he cut a surprisingly heartfelt promo when he was "fired." Then, I hated him when he was back on TV that very same night. A totally misused angle.

-I think I like face Punk better than heel Punk. He was fantastic as an announcer.

-Superstars may be my favorite show.

-I miss Jericho, hope he comes back someday.

-I kinda wish TNA didn't suck. The WWE could really use some competition.

Last edited by ProfessorS; 02-05-2011 at 07:15 PM.
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Old 02-05-2011, 06:59 PM
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I forgot the other bits of my history as a wrestling fan. I used to casually watch wrestling from time to time as a kid, in the era of Bret Hart, "The Narcissist" Lex Luger, Razor Ramon, et al, so part of my becoming a superfan circa 1999 was to go back and watch tons of stuff from the previous 15 years — whatever tapes I could find at the video store or buy from Best Buy.

To this day I still enjoy finding classic mid-'90s matches on YouTube every now and again. Watching that stuff is a weird experience of duality for me. Like, let's say I pull up Bret and Bulldog's famous match from Summerslam. First I think, wow, this is an amazing match! Then I think, jeez, what am I even watching? It's two oiled guys in tights, who I know are brothers-in-law in real life, pretending to fight in a way that looks absolutely nothing like a real fight, in a giant room full of people who know all this same information I know, and yet they're reacting like it's realest and most serious thing they've ever seen, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHAT REALITY IS THIS? And then a few moments later, Bulldog nails a comeback move and I instantly return to thinking, wow, this is an amazing match! I guess this makes me a "smark".

There was also a brief period in the oughts, around the time when ECW on Sci-Fi debuted I think, when I got curious about what the modern-day ECW equivalent was like, so I torrented a handful of ROH shows. I briefly became a Bryan Danielson fan, and got to see his neo-classic match with Nigel McGuinness. There was something ingeniously self-referential and ironic (in the real way, not the obscure-cultural-reference-dropping "it's so random" way) about Danielson — his inappropriately small stature, his basic tights, his intentionally cheap and hackneyed heel persona, and even his finisher, the Cattle Mutilation, which did not look like it would cause even the least bit of pain, but which his opponents feared. Colt Cabana was also pretty rad, being from the Chi and all.

A few months ago I heard Danielson was getting a WWE push, so I downloaded one of the recent PPV's and tried to watch it. Insufferable. I mean, I know a lot of people think all wrestling was insufferable, but I honestly thought some of the stuff from 1998ish was good entertainment. This, though, was just godawful. I definitely could not return to wrestling fandom if I tried. Except for listening to Jim Cornette's podcast, which is the best thing ever.

Last edited by Ethan; 02-05-2011 at 07:26 PM.
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Old 02-05-2011, 07:06 PM
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I loved wrestling when I was a kid and I still have a lot of fondness for the 80-88 or whatever era. I had a handful of wrestlers that I really liked and when they started trying to push wrestlers like Sting and The Undertaker I just lost interest. It's like they figured that kids who were into wrestling were growing up so they had to start coming up with darker, more adult wrestlers to keep us interested. Andre the Giant quit wrestling sometime around there too and that was just another nail in the coffin.
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Old 02-05-2011, 07:34 PM
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I was watching less and less when I couldn't tolerate much more of the fact that WWF wrestling angles are positively the worst-written drivel imaginable, and make a large amount of fanfiction look like Proust. On top of that, the wrestling itself was pretty damn good around the early 2000s, but got toned down and watered down a lot.

I honestly don't mind so much that last part, because as I began to learn more about the wrestlers' lives, the worse I felt for enjoying it.

Then the Rock left, Eddy Guerrero died, Chris Benoit killed his own family, the writing got even stupider and I couldn't take it anymore. When Jericho came back and a friend told me, I felt like "eh..." and couldn't bring myself to care.

For some reason I get a kick out of listening to Spoony bitch about wrestling, reinforcing my own wisdom for stopping, I guess.
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Old 02-05-2011, 07:40 PM
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It's funny that wrestling was brought up because I'm writing a piece for The Times entitled, "The Nickelbackification of Wrestling".
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Old 02-05-2011, 07:41 PM
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Widdershins, if you stick with mostly watching Smackdown, you'll usually get a decent amount of wrestling (which is usually pretty good). Raw on the other hand...well, some nights it's amazing if there's 20 minutes worth of wrestling and once in a while they surprise us with things like that (nearly) hour long match between Shawn Michaels and Cena from a few years back.

I for one actually like Cole as a heel announcer. People were already booing him, the company might as well give us all a reason to. His man crush on Miz and pure hatred for Daniel Bryan are a bit much, but well, it's wrestling.

onimaruxlr: It really started to suck when WWE started losing all their talent, so yeah about 2002-2005. (Rock left to make movies, Austin quietly (basically) retired, Brock left, Eddie Guererro died, and probably a hell of a lot more I'm forgetting). But the company was losing fans steadily I believe since 2001, when they bought WCW and ECW, so there's that to consider too.
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Old 02-05-2011, 09:02 PM
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Oh, and I can't pass up an opportunity to mention my own career, some highlights of which you can view here.
I'm pretty sure I've watched this before, but if I may say so, the arm drag takedown to legdrop combo you do around the minute and a half mark looked goddamn fantastic. Was the single finger pin thing a heel gimmick? Cause that was great as well.

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Originally Posted by ShakeWell View Post
This is more or less true. It's weird to explain to people "yes, I am really educated and well spoken, and yes, I really love pro wrestling. No, not ironically. And no, I'm not the only one."
Was it Spike Dudley in Beyond the Mat who was trying to quote Shakespere while blood was pouring down his face? I loved that bit.

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Obviously, my current favorite is Zack Ryder
I've only seen about 10 seconds of this guy, since that's about as long as he was in the rumble, but I'm fairly obsessed with figuring out if I know him now.

My best friend as a kid lived in Merrick, and his circle was "the wrestling crowd". We would get together and watch PPVs, and suplex each other on mattresses in his back yard. According to wikipedia, Ryder's about two years younger than me, which would put him in just about the right age group to have potentially taken part in some of those get togethers. I should really call up my friend and ask him.

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I for one actually like Cole as a heel announcer. People were already booing him, the company might as well give us all a reason to. His man crush on Miz and pure hatred for Daniel Bryan are a bit much, but well, it's wrestling.
He works in as much as he's hatable, but for me the best color announcers have been just a little bit goofy, which he doesn't pull off as well. JR/King played off of each other brilliantly, and Cole worked as Tazz's straightman, but I am just not feeling him so far. Also, I just watched this past week's Raw, and by god the general manager e-mails are annoying as all get out.
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Old 02-05-2011, 09:08 PM
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Also, I just watched this past week's Raw, and by god the general manager e-mails are annoying as all get out.
Oh geez. I really really hope they finally "reveal" who the GM is soon so they can drop this dumb angle.
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Old 02-05-2011, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Squid Brand View Post
I stumbled upon the Joey Pink highlight video a couple weeks ago. You did a flying head-scissors to a guy. I've always thought doing a flying head-scissors would be super fun. Is it fun?
It is super fun, yes.

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-Randy Orton is super over and is talented, but the man bores me to death. With his finisher and Viper moniker, are they trying to build him as the next Stone Cold? I don't see it.
Heel Orton is amazing. Babyface Orton is dull.

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-Ziggler is absolutely fantastic in the ring and as long as he has Vickie he'll have instant heat. If he doesn't have the strap by the end of the year, I will be shocked.
You are the first person I've talked to who enjoys Ziggler's work. I think he's sloppy and boring, personally. Any heat he has is thanks to Vicki.

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-I go back and forth between loving Cena and hating the guy. For example, I loved him when he cut a surprisingly heartfelt promo when he was "fired." Then, I hated him when he was back on TV that very same night. A totally misused angle.
I still don't really understand all the general Cena hate. Like... I didn't used to like him, because I felt he got pushed too far and too fast (which they've done with several others lately, Sheamus and Jack Swagger to name a couple), but he's a great worker. The haters can deny it, but the guy understands wrestling psychology. He can tell a story and cut a promo.

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-I think I like face Punk better than heel Punk. He was fantastic as an announcer.
I love Punk either way, but I think he's better as a heel, honestly. Being straightedge really lends itself well to that. I guess I also first saw him work heel in the indies ten years ago, so it's what I'm used to, but I was champing at the bit for them to turn him heel in WWE. I couldn't wait for the first "My name is CM Punk, and I'm straightedge. What that means is: I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. And I am better than each and every one of you here tonight." promo on WWE tv.

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-Superstars may be my favorite show.
It is the secret best wrestling show on TV.

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-I miss Jericho, hope he comes back someday.
I just read an interview in which he said he was very close to both parties agreeing on his new contract.

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-I kinda wish TNA didn't suck. The WWE could really use some competition.
Same here. I'm also bummed RoH on HDNet is ending in April.
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Old 02-05-2011, 09:53 PM
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Originally Posted by ShakeWell View Post
You are the first person I've talked to who enjoys Ziggler's work. I think he's sloppy and boring, personally. Any heat he has is thanks to Vicki.
Actually, I quite like Dolph's work. He's solid enough that his potential is starting to shine through. I'm hoping they don't forget about him when Wrestlemania season is over.

Now Alberto Del Rio is the one I find dull and boring on Smackdown. Sheamus is the dull one on Raw.
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Old 02-05-2011, 10:28 PM
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Jeez, you guys aren't kidding about Superstars. A show for midcards to just wrestle and have good matches? Announcing that's more than "I like the face" and "I like the heel"? That's freaking awesome.
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Old 02-05-2011, 10:52 PM
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I will acquire the most recent Superstars and see what it's all about.

Are there actually clean finishes? There hasn't been a clean finish on a televised WWF/WWE match since, like, 1996.
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Old 02-05-2011, 10:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squid Brand View Post
I will acquire the most recent Superstars and see what it's all about.

Are there actually clean finishes? There hasn't been a clean finish on a televised WWF/WWE match since, like, 1996.
They're on Hulu, if you're interested.

I only watched the first few matches of last week's show (this weeks won't be up for another day or two), but they all seemed to have clean finishes. A broken pin in a tag match, but pretty tame over all.

It's the kind of thing that the Attitude era has conditioned us to think is "boring", but that I find unbelievably refreshing. No bullshit; just wrestling.
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Old 02-05-2011, 11:15 PM
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Ohh you didn't know?

Your ass better callllllllll somebodyyyyyyyyyy

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Old 02-05-2011, 11:18 PM
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No Hulu in commieland, but I can get it by other means. Do they go out of their way to mention on the show that the format/gimmick of Superstars is pure wrestling, or does it just happen to be that way?


Also, more questions for Joey "Pink Shakewell" Drilling:

•Ever done a hurricanrana? Was it super fun?

•Does it hurt to deliver a legdrop? It seems like a nightmare for the tailbone.

•Are there any moves you used to do that you felt caused more pain for you (as the attacker) than the other guy?

•Ever done a big Snuka splash from the top? Was it super fun?

There needs to be an On The Stick wrestling special where I can ask you these and other provocative questions. The world needs to know!

Last edited by Ethan; 02-05-2011 at 11:30 PM.
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Old 02-06-2011, 12:52 AM
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Watched the most recent Superstars. First thing was a tag match that was quite entertaining and ended clean, possibly not even on a finisher, though it's hard for me to tell since I haven't seen any of these guys before and don't know what they use. Zack Ryder seems alright, but Yoshi Tatsu and David Hart Smith were more fun to watch. Smith did a really nice-looking powerslam and jackhammer. He reminds me of... well... Davey Boy Smith, whose name is curiously... OHHHHHHHH. Interesting. The resemblance would have been stronger if he had his dad's mutant steroid torso, but let's hope he doesn't pursue that avenue. Anyway, much better match than I expected to see.

Second thing was a "Divas" match — I guess they had to stop calling them women after the haunting image of Joanie Laurer's confusing genitalia was unleashed upon morbidly curious internetgoers. I suspected the match would be dogshit, so I watched it at quadruple speed and it was still boring. Some woman with implants won it with a move that involved screaming and doing the splits over another woman's face.

Then there was a recap of pre-Wrestlemania angles thus far. I see there's now a Mexican version of the wealthy foreign baron character. (My favorite was Tiger Ali Singh.) Also, at first I couldn't believe Jerry Lawler is wrestling again, and then I realized he's barely older than Hulk Hogan and surely less drug-damaged, so why not? And Sheamus must be pretty awful if his boringness is apparent even to me, a guy who has seen two WWE programs in the last half-decade.

Last thing was another tag match. This one was less interesting. The action was okay and there was a clean pin, plus a good Savage-style elbow, but the pace seemed slower and there were more boring tag shenanigans. This is more like what I expected to see — more straightforward than the top-tier shows, but still kinda meh. One of the guys looked like the child of Shawn Michaels and Test.

Fake edit:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
On November 2, 2007, it was reported that Smith had been suspended for 30 days due to violations of "WWE's Substance Abuse and Drug Testing Policy". [...] Smith was involved in a minor controversy over steroids, when, discussing how his father's drug abuse contributed to his death, Smith commented "I hope to be as big as him someday", leading to concerns over Smith using steroids.[61] Smith claimed that the remarks were taken out of context and that he had learned from his father's mistakes.
[CORNETTE]Are you kiddin' me!? Your dad was killed by this shit, you fuckin' mo-ron![/CORNETTE]
Smith and Tatsu should bring back the Hart Attack finisher, but they should call it the Heart Attack.

Last edited by Ethan; 02-06-2011 at 01:15 AM.
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  #30  
Old 02-06-2011, 06:44 AM
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Sheamus is usually pretty solid on the mic...he's been a bit boring lately since the whole king of the ring thing though.
Fella
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