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  #3901  
Old 04-29-2017, 09:39 PM
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if New Jack wrote a tell-all autobio like Bret or Foley I am reasonably confident it would warp all our brains inside out and begin a new cycle of the universe.
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  #3902  
Old 04-30-2017, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Ample Vigour View Post
The top gimmicks they had in ECW, the ones that weren't "workrate mutant" like Benoit or Tajiri, are worthy of deep study. "Fat alcoholic," "delusional mark," "Onyx video extra," "Tommy Dreamer," this is a roll of horrors.
also you forgot "off-brand Patrick Swayze in Point Break"
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  #3903  
Old 04-30-2017, 10:40 AM
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I was a fan of "chickenfucking* Amish farmer", personally. But that was late-era - as was "pre-implants Lita who clipped her toenails in public for some reason," and "creeper whose moveset was literally every finisher from WWF Wrestlemania 2000"

* - Holy shit I just figured out where they got the idea for Enzo's commercial at the Rumble.

Also, it's astonishing that Rhyno has worked the same gimmick for coming up on twenty years now. All he's done is added cheeze-its and crackers, and even THAT was only a recent development.
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  #3904  
Old 04-30-2017, 10:45 AM
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I was a fan of "chickenfucking* Amish farmer", personally. But that was late-era.
likewise "Tracy Smothers discovers his guido heritage," personal favorite of mine.
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  #3905  
Old 04-30-2017, 11:27 AM
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also you forgot "off-brand Patrick Swayze in Point Break"


I'm lost as to what this and "delusional Mark" are supposed to be; Shane Douglas and Raven?
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  #3906  
Old 04-30-2017, 11:29 AM
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Originally Posted by GettinMelt View Post
I'm lost as to what this and "delusional Mark" are supposed to be; Shane Douglas and Raven?
AV can confirm on delusional mark but I'm assuming that's Mikey Whipwreck. Off-brand Bodhi is indeed Raven -- Diamond Dallas Page came up with the idea for the gimmick after he saw Point Break.

Douglas would be something like "bitter ex-JTTS."
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  #3907  
Old 04-30-2017, 12:49 PM
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Douglas would be something like "bitter ex-JTTS."


You'd be bitter too if your big contribution to wrestling before ECW was turning Cornette face after HE turned on YOU.
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  #3908  
Old 05-01-2017, 08:11 AM
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Funny, I was going to link to a bunch of great Douglas / Steamboat matches yesterday. He was a perfectly competent hot tag youngster in 1992 before they replaced him with Tom Zenk and no one noticed.

I need to find some of those Marty / Douglas Rockers matches from 1990.
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  #3909  
Old 05-01-2017, 10:12 AM
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Default Tights and Taunts: The Wrestling Thread

Billy Corgan is supposedly in talks to buy the NWA brand.

If Dennis Coraluzzo were alive to see this, he would probably kick a baby in fury.

As it is the company deserved to die after they fucked over Adam Pearce and Colt Cabana in the middle of their big feud, so I can scarcely think of a better hell for it than being Corgan's vanity project.
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  #3910  
Old 05-01-2017, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by GettinMelt View Post
Billy Corgan is supposedly in talks to buy the NWA brand.
MO-NEY MARK! MO-NEY MARK!
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  #3911  
Old 05-01-2017, 03:19 PM
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Payback was a really dumb PPV. The house of horrors looked about as scary as a neighborhood Halloween haunted house, and the back half of the thing was super slow with the two-part match and two matches with dudes selling old injuries. And why the hell do they keep giving Roman blood packs to cough up? It looks like hot shit.

If anything, this would have been a time to put the women on last. Or even KO-Jericho. IDK, I'm always in favor of ending a show with a title match, or at least something with a stipulation (retirement, hair, etc.).

Also fuck this trying to keep roman baby face. He should have made a hard turn on retiring taker.
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  #3912  
Old 05-02-2017, 08:36 AM
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And why the hell do they keep giving Roman blood packs to cough up? It looks like hot shit.
Sponsors now seem to be okay with some blood, as long as it's not the product of a blade job. That's why Brock is allowed to slice guys open with elbows.

You'll notice that they've stopped grinding matches to a halt to treat cuts like they were a while ago (Balor / Joe in Dallas is the last time I remember it happening.)

I only saw KO / Y2J, and that was a really fun match. I presume Owens gets the belt back tonight, but Jericho is enough of a worker that he might be lying about some of his tour dates....
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  #3913  
Old 05-04-2017, 05:46 AM
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Whomever put the board behind them together deserves a raise.

(I kinda wanted Mountie's mugshot from SummerSlam 91 up there.)
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  #3914  
Old 05-16-2017, 09:32 AM
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Hey, NJPW put up a new free match!



So this one actually has a pretty well-developed backstory behind it for a juniors match. Takahashi got sent to the usual NJPW finishing school, the CMLL promotion in Mexico, for a few years in the middle of the decade. He wrestled there as Kamaitachi, and started feuding with Dragon Lee, CMLL's new LHW star*. Takahashi eventually lost a mask match to Lee in 2015, but at last year's version of this show (FantasticaMania, NJPW's annual CMLL crossover mini-tour), he won the CMLL lightheavy title. He wound up losing that back, as well as his hair, before returning to NJPW. The matches were full of stupidity, but in a good way.

That's where things got interesting, because when Takahashi returned to NJPW he had become AWESOME. Like, more ring presence than the rest of the roster combined now that Nakamura's spending his days trying to surf in Orlando (someone still needs to explain how that works to me.) He borrowed Brian Pillman's Time Bomb nickname - and a few of his mannerisms - and set his site on "Time Splitter" Kushida.

(Alex Shelley plays a lot of video games, that's why.)

Kushida, who I have an irrational hatred for even as I advocate for him being pushed to the top as the inevitable Tanahashi replacement, lost his title to Takahashi in a really great match on the January 4th show that you likely missed because it was only about the sixth-best match on that thing.

So CMLL comes calling again, and guess who's back? That's right, Dragon Lee, here to remind Will Osprey and Riccochet and every other spot geek that he can not only out-spot all of them, but that he's got enough chemistry with the best junior worker on the planet that the matches are always great.

(Not that there isn't stupidity: ff to 16:25)

* - the current Dragon Lee's brother was the first Dragon Lee, and now has taken over the Mistico gimmick. Mistico, of course, went into the WWF as the first Sin Cara before returning to Mexico as Myzteriez and then turning into Caristico. Mexican family trees are like Scott Summers', basically.

Last edited by Sven; 05-16-2017 at 09:58 AM.
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  #3915  
Old 05-16-2017, 12:47 PM
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Apparently Io Shirai is heading to the WWE. That will be a good thing. Hopefully Hojo and her magical elbow drop aren't far behind.
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  #3916  
Old 05-16-2017, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Shagohod View Post
Apparently Io Shirai is heading to the WWE. That will be a good thing. Hopefully Hojo and her magical elbow drop aren't far behind.
I thought Hojo was actually confirmed last week?

(Genuinely surprised they apparently didn't grab Chelsea Diamond while they were stripping STARDOM to the baseboards. She looks great, has the training, and is... Brian Blair's niece. Welp, maybe they don't want the Iron Shiek cutting promos on her.)
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  #3917  
Old 05-24-2017, 02:15 PM
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So I guess Money in the Bank is going to be SD exclusive this year? That's kind of a bummer. I was kind of hoping there would be a mixed-brand event where you'd have dudes from both sides trying for the case. Hell, if I was booking it I would have a Men's MITB and a Women's MITB but they would both be mixed brand, and the winner could cash in for ANY title on either show.

The suitcase is blue, so maybe Raw will have a MITB event/match later on. Kind of a wasted opportunity if you ask me.
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  #3918  
Old 05-24-2017, 05:31 PM
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Also; THEY FREAKING DID IT AND GAVE JINDER THE STRAP.

Too bad his side plates are just his name in Papyrus.
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  #3919  
Old 05-25-2017, 05:35 AM
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Originally Posted by GettinMelt View Post
Also; THEY FREAKING DID IT AND GAVE JINDER THE STRAP.

Too bad his side plates are just his name in Papyrus.
That is the funniest/saddest thing. If they had any real plans for him they would have made up an icon before he got this push.

Shit, just his name or Maharajah in Punjabi would have been better.
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  #3920  
Old 05-25-2017, 05:42 AM
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The fact that his finisher, the Khallas, is the Hindi word for "finish" is pretty amazing though.
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  #3921  
Old 05-25-2017, 05:43 AM
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That is the funniest/saddest thing. If they had any real plans for him they would have made up an icon before he got this push.

Shit, just his name or Maharajah in Punjabi would have been better.
This situation is still evolving, you know. It has a lot of ins and outs and they may not yet know exactly which direction that they want to take it.

In fact, you might go so far as to say that it's...Jinder fluid.
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  #3922  
Old 05-25-2017, 06:02 AM
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Originally Posted by ThornGhost View Post
This situation is still evolving, you know. It has a lot of ins and outs and they may not yet know exactly which direction that they want to take it.

In fact, you might go so far as to say that it's...Jinder fluid.
Booooooooooo!
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  #3923  
Old 05-25-2017, 06:08 AM
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I finally caught up on all the weekend stuff, albeit with FFing through a lot of Backlash itself.

Takeover:

- Roode / Young was a solid match between solid workers. I'm not sure if I'd have led off the card with it, but they didn't leave themselves with a lot of obvious choices.

- Bate / Dunn was great in spots, but Dunn doesn't impress me as much as others from the UK show (see below). Bate, on the other hand, might be a top-tier guy by the time he's, like, 23... which is interesting, because he's the first threat to Orton's record that we've had in quite a while. They need to stop showing him the ring with HHH and / or Regal, though, because he looks like a mini next to them (as do most of the UK wrestlers). Still, well worth your time and JR and Nigel made it a better match than it probably was.

- Asuka beats girls who haven't been properly built up. Same as it ever was. Ember has to beat her in like a minute (EG, Asuka makes an early mistake and eats the Eclipse) for the title switch to mean anything now. I see the upside in Ruby Riot as a new version of Paige's hot goth chick gimmick, though.

- I really, really liked Roode / Itami. I think they could've had a more interesting story with Itami going in, and Roode obviously not being in jeopardy hurt it, but they worked it smartly with the early GTS attempts and the dueling body part work. Not the best Roode entrance of all time, though; I presume they're saving the good ideas for Brooklyn and (checks) Houston.

(Oooh, the Rumble is going to be in Philly again. That should be a FUN Takeover show.)

- The main event was probably the most unique ladder match I've seen since, like, the Taker / Jeff Hardy one back in 2002 in the sense that it was two power guys against two LHW super-workers and they played everything into that concept. The curse of the NXT copyright notice continues, which amused me.

The UK show (which I watched out of order, but whatever):

- Wolfgang and Conners was a solid opener. Conners has a pretty good look, although I don't know if there's anywhere for him to move up in a company that's already got Neville on the roster.

- The tag match was pretty nondescript other than TJP and Kendrick having some fun with comedy heel work.

- Dunne over Severn was great, and Dunne impressed me more there than on takeover.

- Bate over Andrews was SPECTACULAR. Longer than the UK Title match at Takeover, and Andrews (who I liked when I did see him on TNA) looks like another "wait, how did they wind up with him?" great signing. Hopefully they build this one to a rematch later in the year.

As for Backlash - AJ over Owens was below what you'd figure but if it's the first match it's okay, and Orton and Jinder was better than I was expecting but I think they needed to go really over-the-top with the goofy ending.

But let us never forget: ORTON FACE

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  #3924  
Old 05-25-2017, 06:53 AM
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Orton getting over-hype and throwing the cruiserweights on their heads was ... something.

I haven't watched any NXT since the last takeover (Mania weekend?). Should I just go ahead and watch this recent one blind for the wrestling? I know feuds tend to be a lot more basic in NXT, so I probably won't miss out on too much that way.
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  #3925  
Old 05-25-2017, 07:05 AM
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Yeah, it's a great show that basically requires no prior knowledge (which I suppose is something of a failing of NXT TV, but, shit, no one's got time to keep up with that).

Let's put it this way, here's Meltzer's ratings for the show:

***1/4
****3/4 (tied for WWE MOTY with AJ / Cena, I think)
***1/2 (Dave always overrates Asuka matches)
****1/4
****1/4

I think that's actually a slightly better average than the Toronto show, although in my mind Asuka / Mickey was way better than the three-way.

Although you should track down the Roderick Strong personality pieces from NXT TV, as those were really, really great. Didn't play into the match with Young, though.

Oh, and Ciampa re-injured his ankle during the match so both guys are going to be off TV for some time to come.

Meanwhile, NJPW is once again stomping all over any sense of sentimentality, as, after Tenzan racked up something like a 2-5 record in his last G1 last year, Liger's final Super Juniors has seen him start off 0-4 and he's already mathematically eliminated. Sheesh.

(With that said, everyone's said that Osprey / Riccochet was a better match than last year, as both guys worked it much smarter. Osprey challenged Randy Orton to a House of Horrors match after it ended, HAH.)

Speaking of...

Quote:
Orton getting over-hype and throwing the cruiserweights on their heads was ... something.
That happening after the whole flip / dive controversy the weekend before was amazing. I don't even think it's Randy's fault inasmuch as the Singh brother that early met an early end just went up super-easy for the move and Randy isn't used to back-suplexing guys who weigh 150 pounds soaking wet.

Last edited by Sven; 05-25-2017 at 07:34 AM.
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  #3926  
Old 05-25-2017, 07:27 AM
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Default Tights and Taunts: The Wrestling Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThornGhost View Post
This situation is still evolving, you know. It has a lot of ins and outs and they may not yet know exactly which direction that they want to take it.



In fact, you might go so far as to say that it's...Jinder fluid.


All the Jinder/gender jokes here and no one makes the obvious "New Jinderation era" joke. You disappoint me.
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  #3927  
Old 05-25-2017, 07:38 AM
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Also, in the most Mexico thing ever:



Quote:
A remark made by Jose Gutierrez (Ultimo Guerrero, 43) at a CMLL business meeting on 5/18, apparently regarding Jesus Alvarado (Brazo de Oro, who passed away on 4/28), led to members of the Alvarado family destroying Gutierrez’s car the next morning in the Arena Mexico parking lot.

The incident resulted in the firing of three wrestlers, including both the CMLL world heavyweight and world light heavyweight champions.
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  #3928  
Old 05-25-2017, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
***1/2 (Dave always overrates Asuka matches)
I don't know if you know this.

But it is actually impossible to overrate Asuka.
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  #3929  
Old 05-28-2017, 07:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sven View Post
- Roode / Young was a solid match between solid workers. I'm not sure if I'd have led off the card with it, but they didn't leave themselves with a lot of obvious choices.

- I really, really liked Roode / Itami. I think they could've had a more interesting story with Itami going in, and Roode obviously not being in jeopardy hurt it, but they worked it smartly with the early GTS attempts and the dueling body part work. Not the best Roode entrance of all time, though; I presume they're saving the good ideas for Brooklyn and (checks) Houston.
But props to Roode for opening and closing the show, though.
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  #3930  
Old 05-29-2017, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LBD_Nytetrayn View Post
But props to Roode for opening and closing the show, though.
Doh. Amazed that I confused all-entrance-but-just-gliding-in-the-ring Roode with dull-but-still-amazing-in-ring Roddy.

(But 60% of the names are identical, which I suppose explains it.)

BOSJ hasn't been much, aside from KUSHIDA starting to use Seth's old "God's Last Gift" finisher from his Tyler Black days and going on a winning streak as a result. I actually don't mind (lord knows this storyline in NJPW has been used more often than someone asking if Batman should kill the Joker), especially as I never liked the Hoverboard Lock as a finisher.
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